I am........

[LongRanger]

To our American friends, if you have ever heard the Molson Canadian Ad from up here in Canada eh, here is my recital......


Hey;
I am not a stiff wing, or a fixed wing,

And I don’t always sleep in a tent, or fuel from a drum.

I don’t eat at McDonalds or own a Mercedes

And I don’t know Ronny, or Kate, or Brad from Canadian Helicopters

Although I’m certain they’re all really, really good pilots.

I have a receptionist, not a dispatcher.

I am a sensitive man who feels every vibration, good and bad.

I hold a cyclic, not a stick, and I hold it proudly between my legs.

I speak about mechanical wind, not upper winds,

And I pronounce it “hover”, not “hoover”, “hover”!

I can proudly sew my fling wings on my flight suit.

I believe in ground effect, not airspeed,

Confined areas, not runways,

And that the Jet Ranger is a proud and noble machine.

I don’t have flaps, I have pitch and power.

I live for the smell of Jet Fuel, and can drink from an oil can.

I suffer from a permanent case of itchy hemorrhoids, yet I remain professional.

I believe a helicopter demonstrates diversity, is as loud as a KingAir, and is the

best part of aviation.

MY NAME IS LONGRANGER, AND I AM A HELICOPTER PILOT!!!!!


Thank you.

[offshoreigor]

LR:

Well done, excellent! And never forget, "IF YOU CAN'T HOVER, YOU'RE QUEER!"

Cheers, OffshoreIgor

[Cyclic Hotline]

Come on now, this was a Canadian topic.....

"If you can't hover, you're a homo!"

Check out the clip if you haven't seen it at; http://www.adcritic.com/content/mols...dian-i-am.html


[This message has been edited by Cyclic Hotline (edited 21 January 2001).]

[SPS]

What does it mean if you can HOOVER then ?

[fishboy]

Hoovering is something to do with vacuuming I believe. Helicopters don't suck!

[widgeon]

Sorry have to disagree helicopters do suck , the lower pressure on the top of the airofoil causes the helicopter to rise. If helicopters blew they would never leave the ground.
But fixed wing suck as well .

[Rusty Cessna]

Theres always one!

[JoePilot]

Sucking does not exist ... only blowing ... which is why THAT technical term (BJ) is technically correct.
Q

[SPS]

Maybe if the Heli world cannot agree on the two main labels (Vortex Ring State or Settling with power)in use then we could dump both.

In light of the above the effect could be re named BJS?

[MBJ]

Look, you lot - I have had the nickname BJ since before they invented the sexual act so keep your disgusting innuendos to yourselves! Isn't vortex ring something to do with morning-after curry?

[A109]

AND....to remind all these Americans and fixed wing oddbods a CHOPPER is something we keep in our trousers (well not always!) but we fly HELICOPTERS!

[CTD]

MBJ- AKA Baboon A$$.
A109- A Chopper has two wheels, handlebars, and a goofy looking anachronism in studded leather sitting on top.


------------------