use of toilet policy.

[757_Driver]

OK I'm bored this morning!

I've only ever worked for one operator, but I understand that different companies have different policies with regard to the pilots popping out for a leak. what's yours?
what about VVIP bizjets? is it acceptable to pop into the cabin for a quick wizz (in the wc, not the cabin of course!) or do you just have to cross your legs.

[mikehammer]

What about cargo?! There is no bog on ours. Mind you security won't let us quench our thirst anyway after chucking bags about, so it's never much of a problem!

[Farmer 1]

We used to be issued with pee bags on the Dauphin.

They were kept in the boot.

[esreverlluf]

Wow - a whole new interpretation of "Fill your boots" .

[READY MESSAGE]

if you really have to go......

"pee tube" on the B200, flexible hose that goes straight overboard, you don't even have to get out of your seat!

Even reaches across to the Co-Pilot side.....thoughtful Mr Beechcraft!

[Pugilistic Animus]

And for the Ladies?

[Pontius Navigator]

Cup and suck?

[Capt Claret]

Courtesy of an Homeland type dept edict some years ago, that pax not be allowed to congregate near aircraft lavs, as they might be using the cover of the crapper, to concoct some unpleasantness. (Don't let paranoia get in the way of a good theory)

ATC

I can see it all now, soooo clearly... Airlines will obviously now have to institute full ATC (Aircraft Toilet Control), complete with the following FAA-style communications between the pax and the... errrm... "Flow" Controller(?)...

• "Flight Attendant, this is seat 47Alfa, requesting clearance for toilette 4Bravo"
• "47Alfa, Roger, eye contact, please advise estimate time to piss"
• "FA, ahh... estimating 10 minutes, I think I can hold 5 minutes more, 47Alfa."
• "Copy, please stand-bye. 37Delta, please confirm vacate toilette 4Bravo."
• "Affirm, vacating via right aisle to seat as cleared"
• "49Hotel, you are cleared to piss at 4Bravo, please expedite I have traffic almost overflowing"
• "Roger, cleared for 4B, will do it swiftly, no solids foreseen, 49Hotel"
• "47Alfa, you cleared to line-up right aisle, facing toilette 4Bravo, maintain visual with traffic passing heading row 37"
• "Roger, line-up right aisle facing 4Bravo, I have traffic in sight, seems much relieved, 47Alfa"
• "Mayday, mayday, mayday, this is 33Echo with solids turning into liquid, request immediate toilette"
• "33Echo, got your mayday, cleared direct toilette 4Bravo, please advise passing row 45. Break break. 49Hotel, please expedite and confirm status. Break break. 47Alfa, sorry I have to put you on hold, please turn right 1-8-0 degrees and walk to the front of the plane, when reaching the galley turn left and execute a left circuit between galley and wall, beware of traffc on hold 2 rows below"
• "FA, 49Hotel has vacated the toilette 4Bravo"
• "Roger, 49Hotel cleared for seat and thank you". "33Echo you are cleared direct to toilette 4Bravo, if you require further assistance please contact regular FAs by ringing the toilette chime. Good luck, sir".
• "Roger, dir... to... bravo... oh my god".
• "33Echo, comms broken, any problem, sir? Please confirm status."
• "Well, let's just say the **** already hit my props, and yes, I will need further assistance now, 33Echo" (with a final sigh).

[MarcJF]

Priceless Capt Claret

[kwachon]

Interesting subject, We had the same problem on our VVIP jet, toilet down back and Prince and/or family in middle...

Solution,

Captain/FO walks into cabin to make sure everything is ok with pax, food and drinks etc, entertainment working, you know the deal, then, "Just going to check all the toilet facilities are clean and working, excuse me", works every time. When prince is alone on flight he has no problem with us going down back, just have to be diplomatic when carrying females.

[redsnail]

Yep, just wander down the back to go to the loo. Obviously time it so as to minimise the disturbance.

[411A]

Yep, just wander back and use the facilities...that's what they are there for, strange as it may seem.

[csrster]

What a shame if pax aren't allowed to congregate around the loos anymore. Just the mention of it takes me back to my youth - transatlantic red-eyes, a little group demolishing booze and fags by the loos, laughter, conversation, innocent flirtation ...

We must have annoyed the **** out of anyone trying to get some sleep.

[Daysleeper]

I've seen a few biz jets with a double loo ... a posh one down the back and a more austere one at the front for the workers.