Please help with mindset, self doubt

[roger7060]

Hi Guys,
I hope everyone is keeping safe.
I don't have a mentor in life and almost nobody who will understand and can offer some help. I will try to keep it short and to the point and really hoping for some help and word of advice family here.

Same stale story -

• Born in a family with almost no financial resources. Spent first 22 years of my life below poverty line
• Childhood dream of flying was crushed because of lack of resources
• Studied to be a computer engineer
• Now age is 39
• Working as a IT project manager
• After working for so many years in IT now I can comfortably afford the flying training

I recently started scouting for flying schools. My end goal is to get an RPL so that I can pursue flying as a hobby. I have given up on the idea of flying for the living.

I have realized the following about myself -

• I take lot more time to wrap my head around the things as compared to average people. For example at times I have tp record my office meetings and listen to the recording 1-2 times to understand the details and action items for me. As far as I know I don't have any learning disorder but I was born in a third world country so can't be sure about it
• I downloaded Airplane Flying Handbook (2016 edition) and started reading it. I am struggling really hard to understand it and most of the times I end up reading the same page 4-5 times. Because of this I get exhausted and bored in an hour or so and then stop reading it
• I FAILED the wombat test. Few years back I went to a local carrier to apply for a cadet program and they made me sit for the wombat test. If I remember correctly the test lasted for 1 hour or so and I failed it miserably. Within 30 minutes I was almost in tears as I knew I was not able to do even 5% of what was being asked
• I downloaded few apps on my phone which helps you to enhance your hand-eye coordination. Even after considerable practice I don't do well in those apps
• I suffer from motion sickness. My mother has really bad vertigo so maybe it runs in the family. Few years back I went for skydiving and didn't enjoy the experience as I was disoriented and nauseated
• My ears blocks in commercial flights. I know this is normal but in my case it takes as much as 2-3 days before I feel normal. Cabin of small airplanes are not pressurized so I am assuming that it will be worse

I know I am sounding like I whine for living. I am just concerned and don't want to endanger my or anyone else's life and property.
Do you have any inputs for me? Am I being too harsh on myself or thinking too much. I tried searching for videos on internet and similar topic on the forum but couldn't find anything.

Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Kind regards.

[BoeingDriver99]

Have you heard of Flight Sim?

[rudestuff]

The #1 skill you need as a pilot is perseverance. Trust me there are people out there right now flying jets who started off dumber and poorer than you.

[hobbit1983]

The only way you'll really know if you enjoy/are capable of flying a light aircraft....is to go fly a light aircraft.

Find a good flying school in India, and go for a trial lesson. Find out.