Just told the missus
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Just told the missus
Ok, so this may not necessarily belong in this topic, but thought I would share a laugh with you...
Tonight I finally laid out my plans to the missus about my plans to go for the modular route towards my CPL and ATPL.
Had it all worked out, well presented if I may say so and sounded pretty convincing about it being good in the long run despite initial outlay, time, and study.
I sounded pretty convincing then waited for her to say "like hell" or something to that effect.
Instead she yawns, leans back and casually says "oh, sounds boring to me" "It's just like driving a bus in the air" So I took that as a go for it...
A load off my shoulders anyway, was stressing about her reaction, now I can concentrate and get on with it.
Tonight I finally laid out my plans to the missus about my plans to go for the modular route towards my CPL and ATPL.
Had it all worked out, well presented if I may say so and sounded pretty convincing about it being good in the long run despite initial outlay, time, and study.
I sounded pretty convincing then waited for her to say "like hell" or something to that effect.
Instead she yawns, leans back and casually says "oh, sounds boring to me" "It's just like driving a bus in the air" So I took that as a go for it...
A load off my shoulders anyway, was stressing about her reaction, now I can concentrate and get on with it.
Upto The Buffers
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I do wonder why people are scared of sharing their hopes and dreams with their partners. Surely if they care for and respect you, and your quest to improve yourself and realise your ambitions doesn't involve living in a cardboard box for a years to fund it, they would support you.
If I were to turn round to the Mrs and say, "I've given it a lot of thought, and this is REALLY what I want to do", I'd expect her to be supportive. If not I'd have serious questions about the relationship and her motives.
An unsupportive partner is probably the wrong partner in the long run. Anyway, pleased to hear you got a good response.
If I were to turn round to the Mrs and say, "I've given it a lot of thought, and this is REALLY what I want to do", I'd expect her to be supportive. If not I'd have serious questions about the relationship and her motives.
An unsupportive partner is probably the wrong partner in the long run. Anyway, pleased to hear you got a good response.
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I can imagine that they might be slightly concerned at you giving up a career you've worked at your whole life, one which probably pays the mortgage and puts food on the table amongst many other things. My partner is supportive but understandably worried, as am I. I think thats where the fear of "sharing the dream" comes from.
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I'm sure everybody has been in this position 
When I told the better half I was looking to blow £40k+ on chasing my dream as an Airline Pilot there was a smile and a condescending comment. But after 2 or 3 years of saving and researching I think she understands that I WILL be chasing my dream at all costs.
I've told her if I get to do some bush flying in Africa/Alaska I'll be off, if I get a job as a FI/CFI I'll be off and one day when I'm sitting in the RHS of a TP/Jet I know it would have been worth the commitment and sacrifices.
It's a lot easier now that she understands how strong I feel about it, parents is a different matter all together. After seeing my OAT PPL CBT pack at the side of my PC in my apartment it soon raised a few eyebrows but I quickly said "It's to help me pass my PPL that I've been saving up for ... maybe I'll fly you both to Jersey for lunch" with a smile on my face.
Only after gaining my PPL and passing all 14 ATPL exams will I start letting people know my plans
Good luck buddy!
When I told the better half I was looking to blow £40k+ on chasing my dream as an Airline Pilot there was a smile and a condescending comment. But after 2 or 3 years of saving and researching I think she understands that I WILL be chasing my dream at all costs.
I've told her if I get to do some bush flying in Africa/Alaska I'll be off, if I get a job as a FI/CFI I'll be off and one day when I'm sitting in the RHS of a TP/Jet I know it would have been worth the commitment and sacrifices.
It's a lot easier now that she understands how strong I feel about it, parents is a different matter all together. After seeing my OAT PPL CBT pack at the side of my PC in my apartment it soon raised a few eyebrows but I quickly said "It's to help me pass my PPL that I've been saving up for ... maybe I'll fly you both to Jersey for lunch" with a smile on my face.
Only after gaining my PPL and passing all 14 ATPL exams will I start letting people know my plans
Good luck buddy!
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You realise of course that you're now in debt....big time. 
No plasma screen telly or other boy toys for you now....or ever again! Thats an awful lot of tokens you've had to cash in 
Good luck with it - your missus sounds supportive..good for her.
No plasma screen telly or other boy toys for you now....or ever again! Thats an awful lot of tokens you've had to cash in Good luck with it - your missus sounds supportive..good for her.
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You just wait until "those shoes" she was after turn into a flying lesson! Then she'll feel it!
Best of Luck, with the Mrs informed and consenting, she'll never be able to complain again!
Regards
CR
Best of Luck, with the Mrs informed and consenting, she'll never be able to complain again!
Regards
CR
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After i told the missus about starting my training and hopefully land a jet job one day she was fine with it all. It was only on a holiday to turkey when she stood at the bottom of the steps to a 757 and realised what i was undertaking then blurted out " there's no 
way anyones gonna let you drive one of them" 
Then there was constant snide comments about air hostesses.
way anyones gonna let you drive one of them" Then there was constant snide comments about air hostesses.
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Interesting thread. I echo Shunter's comments, I am mystified why people make out their partner is like some divine leader from whom they must get approval for pursuing their chosen career.
Unless you're gambling with your dependant's financial security (which is a very different situation), in my books you inform your partner and get on with it. Sorry if that's no very "PC". Perhaps I would fail a CRM course if the marriage was a flight deck!!
Unless you're gambling with your dependant's financial security (which is a very different situation), in my books you inform your partner and get on with it. Sorry if that's no very "PC". Perhaps I would fail a CRM course if the marriage was a flight deck!!
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Does feel like the first person you tell is the divine leader you need approval from 
. Was quite apprehensive about telling the parents and braced myself for snide/sceptical comments from them and peers...
. Was quite apprehensive about telling the parents and braced myself for snide/sceptical comments from them and peers...
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When your other half wants kids and a holiday and you want a fATPL and a airline job it's not a case of having the approval from them.
Looking at the ages of most people undertaking their commercial training and spending upwards of £40k on training are in their late 20's early 30's. Most girls I have spoken to have said they'd like to settle down by 30 and have kids in their early 30's ... I've told my other half not to expect a marriage by the time she's 30. I have my own place and doing my best to save every penny toward training, she blows her money on shopping and doesn't have her own place.
I wouldn't want to give my partner false hopes of settling down any time soon and that is the only reason I've told her. And as I said before if I need to travel to the other side of the world to take the next step up the ladder then I will be off (with or without her) ... Might sound a little harsh but that's life.
If she decided she wanted to leave me now while she's 25 then that's a sacrifice I'm willing to take.
Looking at the ages of most people undertaking their commercial training and spending upwards of £40k on training are in their late 20's early 30's. Most girls I have spoken to have said they'd like to settle down by 30 and have kids in their early 30's
... I've told my other half not to expect a marriage by the time she's 30. I have my own place and doing my best to save every penny toward training, she blows her money on shopping and doesn't have her own place.I wouldn't want to give my partner false hopes of settling down any time soon and that is the only reason I've told her. And as I said before if I need to travel to the other side of the world to take the next step up the ladder then I will be off (with or without her) ... Might sound a little harsh but that's life.
If she decided she wanted to leave me now while she's 25 then that's a sacrifice I'm willing to take.
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I am 22 and about to start an integrated course. With me not having 60k burning a hole in my pocket, I have come to the realistic conclusion that, even in the best possible outcome (jet job straight after training) I am not going to have a penny to spend on anything but essentials (roof & food) until im about 30.
But as they say, Life begins at 30 and hopefully by the time I pay my last loan repayment, I can be on some serious £££s and start thinking about all the big-boy-toys Ive ever dreamt of.
Ive had my fair share of girlfriends, some serious, some not so serious. But right now I am single and am happy for it to stay that way while I do my training. I know for me to even think about the "best possible outcome" - I need to ace the ATPL exams and the last thing I need is a girlfriend ringing me up every night and moaning Im not making time for her
These are just the sacrifices we must make accomplishing our dream job of an office at FL350. Thats just my take on it anyway
JB
But as they say, Life begins at 30 and hopefully by the time I pay my last loan repayment, I can be on some serious £££s and start thinking about all the big-boy-toys Ive ever dreamt of.
Ive had my fair share of girlfriends, some serious, some not so serious. But right now I am single and am happy for it to stay that way while I do my training. I know for me to even think about the "best possible outcome" - I need to ace the ATPL exams and the last thing I need is a girlfriend ringing me up every night and moaning Im not making time for her
These are just the sacrifices we must make accomplishing our dream job of an office at FL350. Thats just my take on it anyway
JB
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Hi guys, just thought I would add my experience of this topic:
In 2001 (age 30 PPL holder) I explained to my wife my 2-year plan to become an Airline pilot.As expected, she agreed and we sold our house to finance the modular training, however with Sept 11th and with numerous other un-planned and unforseen circumstances the 2-year plan became a 5-year plan!!
My wife to her credit was always very supportive and I am currently an F/O flying a Boeing and am loving it, wish I did it years ago, but it's never to late
In 2001 (age 30 PPL holder) I explained to my wife my 2-year plan to become an Airline pilot.As expected, she agreed and we sold our house to finance the modular training, however with Sept 11th and with numerous other un-planned and unforseen circumstances the 2-year plan became a 5-year plan!!
My wife to her credit was always very supportive and I am currently an F/O flying a Boeing and am loving it, wish I did it years ago, but it's never to late
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Heres one for all of you with such supportive wives and girlfriends. Put the shoe on the other foot now. You have recently re-mortgaged the family home that you both pay the mortgage on, so that you can follow your dream. Now the wife fancies a bit and decides to follow in your footsteps. How supportive would you be in helping her achieve her new found dream? Realising the uncertainty of possibly neither of you getting a job that pays after your training. Would you sell the house, put the family in rented accomodation and give her that helping hand? Jeopardize the roof over your childs/ childrens head? So that she could go off and be a pilot? I wonder if you would be so supportive? Would you consider foregoing your pursuit of an airline job so that she could pursue her 'dream'? Hell, you could stay at home and watch the kids whilst she galavanted off and did her training! Its just a thought.
Sometimes when I read some posts in these types of threads, I just cannot help but think of the word selfish!
Sometimes when I read some posts in these types of threads, I just cannot help but think of the word selfish!
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I can think of a few who chased the dream with 100% backing from a wife/girlfriend and as soon as the job came along with it's gold bars, salary and nightstops, ran off with a fresher model.
Sad but true.
Sad but true.
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Can only speak for myself (of course) but during the discussions with my wife about the funding/time scale of training and subsequent employment we concluded it would be mutually beneficial in the long-term (financially and lifestyle).
Seven years on, we are in a similar financial position overall now, to how we were at the start,
(no debts left to pay, new house) but with greater future earning potential as a couple and far better lifestyle.
Wife likes the uniform too.......bonus
Seven years on, we are in a similar financial position overall now, to how we were at the start,
(no debts left to pay, new house) but with greater future earning potential as a couple and far better lifestyle.
Wife likes the uniform too.......bonus
Last edited by mongeyspangle; 25th Mar 2008 at 12:51. Reason: spelling
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Pilot Wags Beware
When you need to spend an extra 10K, to just finish a few more hours of the IR or something similar, i wonder whether you will get the same reaction having already blown the nest egg? I still live with it now and i have a job as a pilot!! When it does jeopardise the family's financial security, and it will unless you are very wealthy, be prepared
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Drive the missus round a nice big new housing estate and point out the big houses with an audi and a lexus on the drive and tell her in 5 years that will be us.
Its a fact that people who aren't in the kno think pilots all earn 100K and live a lavish lifestyle.
How little they know.......
How you explain it to them in 5years that you've not a pot to piss in and flying a wobbly turbo prop earning less than a brickie is your doing
Myself i obviously dont condole that kind of behavior
Its a fact that people who aren't in the kno think pilots all earn 100K and live a lavish lifestyle.
How little they know.......
How you explain it to them in 5years that you've not a pot to piss in and flying a wobbly turbo prop earning less than a brickie is your doing
Myself i obviously dont condole that kind of behavior