Most pointless placard?
 

When I learned to fly in a yellow Tiger Moth, there was a stern warning on a little plate bside the fuel filler cap to the effect 'maximum for aerobatics 18 gallons'. The tank held 19, as I remember.

As our CFI remarked, he had yet to meet anyone who could fire up a Tiger, taxy out,do checks,negotiate with ATC, take off and reach a survivable height for aeros without burning a gallon!

Any other illogical placards spotted?

I once had a share in a Dart 17R sailplane, it had a placard that said
Max gear extension 119 kts
VNE 120 kts

I saw one a few years ago by a lake. It said:

PLEASE DO NOT TIE BOATS TO THIS SIGN

Surely they're taking the **** ?!

"CAUTION: Doors may open"

Glad someone finally figured that out...

Royal Gorge bridge (1000 ft straight down to the river below):

NO FISHING FROM THIS BRIDGE

Being American, they were actually serious!

White painted, crafstman made, signwritten, "Do not throw stones at this sign"

Piper Cub manual describing hand propping...
"DO NOT ATTEMPT TO START WITH ENGINE RUNNING"

On a bag of roasted peanuts in Tesco's:

"Caution, may contain nuts".

On a ready meal the instructions:

REMOVE ALL PACKAGING BEFORE SERVING

All A/C in Canada are required to have exit signs (bilingual, of course). The 150 I trained on had placards "EXIT/SORTIE" above each door. Also, a 172 in the same fleet had a broken latch on the window which was placarded "U/S".

In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual Label instructions on consumer products. Number 9 has come far too late for most of us.


1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids -
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL
FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)

12. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be how?)

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

15. On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

17. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious.)

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really?)

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)

20. On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

21. On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

22. On some frozen dinners
SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

:) :) :)

I apologise for the lack of formatting - I am still getting used to this computer lark.

I have recently seen "WARNING - MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS" on a pecan pie.

I have flown a single seater with a placard stating "Passengers fly in this aircraft at their own risk"

There was allegedly once an aeroplane at Boscombe with placarded "it is forbidden to crash this aircraft". I've often thought that Transair should market the latter.

In general terms, I'm not sure that placarded CG limits aren't pretty pointless too.

G

Apparently Mr Muscle Shower Cleaner has "No need to every scrub again" emblazoned across the front. However, number one under instructions for use states "For best results start with a clean shower".

I could make a fortune with a range of similar cleaning products...

I like the PFA goody,
"Occupant warning, this aircraft is not certified to an international standard."
Even if it is actually a factory built aircraft.

It basically means that nobody else really likes the PFA Permit system and have the right to refuse access to their country; ie ask the Germans if it's OK (it always is) before you go. However, non-flying types thinks that it means "this piece of !!!!! was built by an illiterate in a leaky garden shed" Hmmmm.

------------------
When the wheels stop turning you're high enuff. CubTrek. To slowly go...

LOL, miss approach.

I wouldn't like to be a fire extinguisher though:
'Turn upside down and strike knob hard'.

On label fixed around hotel hairdryer:
"Do not use in the shower"

..and then there was the person of hibernian persuasion (must be careful in PC era) who was hospitalised because the tin said 'stand in boiling water for ten minutes'..

I'll get my coat

Not quite a placard, but I once flew an Arrow in the US with FEATHER marked at the back of the prop lever quadrant - turned out the insert had come from a Seneca!

In all hotels in Kong Kong:

"When there is a fire, do not use lift"

Not IF there's a fire, but WHEN!

Check in to a low floor...!

Does anyone remember the old Chippie placard which read "minimum crew: one" ?

------------------
O. .O
>V<

The B707's I flew in my past life had a placard on the back of both pilot's seats which said;

"Seat must face forward for takeoff and landing." http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/confused.gif

I always wondered what it would be like to try and land by facing aft and using a mirror.

Speaking of looking backwards and going forwards, did you know that 'clockwise' is 'anti-clockwise'if you're a clock.
:) :)

D'you know Bullet head - on the face of it you're quite right.


(I love this forum)

Bullethead,

that joke is decidedly second hand (or, on the other hand...)

Hired a car in the US once - on the seatbelt it had " this seatbelt will only help prevent injury if worn" :) http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif :) :rolleyes:

Or, on the other hand badly timed

Or, on the other hand badly timed

Back to placards I remember whilst guzzling some tinnies of lager reading a "helpline" phone number on the can...
My mind boggled... Alcoholics Anonymous, Sally Army or kebab shop?

I once jump-seated on an Ael Lingus 737 Copenhagen to Manchester. On the back of the cockpit door was a little sign "Fly this aeroplane green side up".

;~)

SSD

On a $5000 automated lighting fixture, manufactured in Texas, "Do Not Drop"

In my C152 aerobat, in tiny letters

"Spin Recovery.
To recover from a spin
1) Check direcion of spin
2) Apply full opposite rudder.......etc...."

As if anyone would have time to read the instructions!!

In front of a `work in progress` area on an embankment, at the side of a road in Hong Kong, with about 30 local workers standing around finger up nose

`CAUTION- Dangerous slopes`

`

Sign in a shop window in a mall near Jacksonville Florida read - " Ears pierced while you wait"

On 29 Sqdn who were then operating Javelins, the squadron comedian made a stencil which was then covertly applied to every aircraft in the outfit.

"CHOP HERE FOR AXE"

Does anybody apart from me remember Javelins??

In a block of flats:
"LIFTS TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED"

Barbeque Firelighting Fluid:
"Caution Flammable Liquid"

Various cockpits:
"Fuel: Pull Off"
(and now what do I do with the Knob?)

More perversely, the common practice with low wing planes of painting the walkway black, all the way across the wing root and flaps, then applying a decal "no step" on the flap.
Why did they paint it non slip black then?

On oldertype standby AH ' PULL for quick erection'

on cooler room door:
please keep cloesd when enter and exiting?

I saw once on a box of sleeping tablets "Warning - may cause drowsiness".

I bloody well hope so!!!

Skytrucker 87 - would that be the World's first non-aerobatic fighter then? Saw one at Chivenor years ago before the RAF's best aerodrome was handed over to the mud-eaters (WHY???????) - the Hunter mates said that the pilot was 'the only kamikaze pilot in the RAF!!'.

In a Columbian Air Force crewroom was a sign warning pilots not to drop their bombs when upside down!!

The RAF used to drop their bombs when upside down - or nearly! I've got a video of early Farnborough airshows where Victors and Vulcans demonstrated the 'lob' technique. They pulled up into a half loop releasing the bomb just before going through the vertical, then rolling off the top of the loop to dive away in the opposite direction at max knots before they got caught in a horrid mushroom cloud with all that nasty radiation :~( Very strange sight to see such a big aeroplane do a that.

And talking of the Javelin, anyone read "The Quick and the Dead", by Bill Waterton? It's long out of print but Bill was Gloster's Cheif Test Pilot for Meteor and Javelin - and the latter did not impress him much. I had a pretty Dinky Toys model of one when I was a kid, though. (Was a kid??? Still am at heart ;~)

SSD

I'm surprised no body has mentioned
this one. I've seen in on many C172's

On the window a placard says:

Do not open above 160 Knots.

Any care to guess what the VNE for
172's is? Could it be 160 Kts.