Dear Southend controller...
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Dear Southend controller...
Just incase the Southend controller or anyone who was on the Southend frequency at around 1PM today happens to read this board, you may have heard a transmission that went something like this... (callsign changed to protect the..... erm guilty)
Me: Southend Radar, Golf-Alpha-Bravo-Charlie-Delta, Request Flight information service.
Southend: Golf-Alpha-Bravo-Charlie-Delta, pass your message.
Me: Golf-Alpha-Bravo-Charlie-Delta, Cessna 172, Headcorn - Southend - Damyns Hall - Headcorn, 2 miles east of Gillingham, 2300 feet on QNH 1030, errmm..... ummmmm
sorry.... *click*
I just want you to know that I *am* trying, and I can do this stuff pretty well when I am at 0 feet AGL, but as soon as I push that little black button you might as well ask me to recite the elements in the periodic table.... alphabetically..... in hebrew.
Sorry if I made your job harder then it needs to be today, I promise you that some day I will come by, and get it spot on and you will say... "Wow! That guy is a pilot!!"
Thanks.
Me: Southend Radar, Golf-Alpha-Bravo-Charlie-Delta, Request Flight information service.
Southend: Golf-Alpha-Bravo-Charlie-Delta, pass your message.
Me: Golf-Alpha-Bravo-Charlie-Delta, Cessna 172, Headcorn - Southend - Damyns Hall - Headcorn, 2 miles east of Gillingham, 2300 feet on QNH 1030, errmm..... ummmmm
sorry.... *click*I just want you to know that I *am* trying, and I can do this stuff pretty well when I am at 0 feet AGL, but as soon as I push that little black button you might as well ask me to recite the elements in the periodic table.... alphabetically..... in hebrew.
Sorry if I made your job harder then it needs to be today, I promise you that some day I will come by, and get it spot on and you will say... "Wow! That guy is a pilot!!"
Thanks.
Join Date: Jan 2004
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We've all been there 
On all the occasions I've been into Southend, the controllers there have always seemed pretty friendly. I'm sure that they will have understood.
On all the occasions I've been into Southend, the controllers there have always seemed pretty friendly. I'm sure that they will have understood.
Join Date: Aug 2005
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I see the mistake. It should have been "Saaaafend Radar" 
Don't worry. Happens to us all. When doing my cross-country qualifier, I started talking in what appeared to be Gibberish to London Info. I think the bloke on the other end started losing patience as well....
Don't worry. Happens to us all. When doing my cross-country qualifier, I started talking in what appeared to be Gibberish to London Info. I think the bloke on the other end started losing patience as well....
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I know exactly how you feel - the minute I push that little black button, my brain turns to mush and my tongue doesn't work! The funny part is watching my FI desperately miming what I should be saying ...
Fortunately, there are four schools at sarfend, so they're probably used to us!
Fortunately, there are four schools at sarfend, so they're probably used to us!
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I was once flying in the South East with a friend and we called Dunsfold radar who acknowledged us and blurted out the usual stream of info (QNH, squawk code etc.) We hurriedly wrote it all down, dialled the numbers in to the instruments etc. After a short delay the response came back from the controller....
'Golf Alpha Bravo you appear to be squawking the QNH'
Although the radio was silent I could hear the whole world laughing. Looking down at the transponder, sure enough it had 1013 dialled in! If only we'd tried getting 7890mb in to the altimeter we might have twigged!!
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Come on then.How many are prepared to admit to transmitting a word perfect message only to find you are still on the previous frequency to the one you you should have been on? DOH.
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Agreed about the Southend controllers. I'm forever flying across their overhead and they have always been very pleasent and helpful. Thanks guys.
A little less conversation,
a little more aviation...
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Yak-52 - two buttons on the throttle, intercom and TX. Standing on the wing, giving guidance to occupant of front seat on the gentle art of starting the tractor. Guidance hampered by having the mags turned off in the back. Turn on mags, front seat occupant's efforts now bear fruit. Lean into back cockpit, plug in headset, press intercom and use choice phrase including very, very, very bad word to describe oneself by way of explanation to front seat occupant regarding initial state of rear mag switch. Look up, to see groundcrew member 50 metres away fall to the ground, clutching an Icom, and apparently suffer some form of convulsion. Realise with a sinking feeling that button pressed was TX, not intercom, and have just used very, very, very bad (strength 5, readability 5, pronounciation and enunciation later confirmed as 100% by groundcrew) word over local A/G frequency.........2 of the classic Yak-52 rookie errors in one. What a 
Moderator
We've all been there, don't worry about it!
Once while flying a Cardinal RG with autopilot problems, thinking I was holding down the autopilot disconnect button (label worn off), The whole area heard what I thought of the misbehaving autopilot. On another occasion, while right seat in a Cheyenne, and having just perfectly read out a checklist to my captain, ATC replied that I had done a good job of reading the checklist, but they did not care. Wrong button again!
This is one of the flyings aspects where the saying applies well...
There are those who have, and those who will...
Have a laugh about it with the rest of us, and fly on!
Pilot DAR
Once while flying a Cardinal RG with autopilot problems, thinking I was holding down the autopilot disconnect button (label worn off), The whole area heard what I thought of the misbehaving autopilot. On another occasion, while right seat in a Cheyenne, and having just perfectly read out a checklist to my captain, ATC replied that I had done a good job of reading the checklist, but they did not care. Wrong button again!
This is one of the flyings aspects where the saying applies well...
There are those who have, and those who will...
Have a laugh about it with the rest of us, and fly on!
Pilot DAR
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We've all done. Myself more than I care to mention!
One good one was whilst sitting ready to go at Stansted one day, when someone decided it was a good idea to do their entire PA announcement on the ground frequency. A fairly rountine occurance, but in this case the chap making the boo-boo decided to apologise for the delay they had by blaming ATC........
Quick as a flash the ground controller came back with "you weren't delayed by ATC before, but you are now!"
All jokingly of course.
The chaps at Sarfend are very good and are nice blokes with it. They are well used to students and everyone else making a horlicks of it.
Don't worry about it, you'll do it again, it's just as you get more experienced you care less about making mistakes like this.
One good one was whilst sitting ready to go at Stansted one day, when someone decided it was a good idea to do their entire PA announcement on the ground frequency. A fairly rountine occurance, but in this case the chap making the boo-boo decided to apologise for the delay they had by blaming ATC........
Quick as a flash the ground controller came back with "you weren't delayed by ATC before, but you are now!"
All jokingly of course.
The chaps at Sarfend are very good and are nice blokes with it. They are well used to students and everyone else making a horlicks of it.
Don't worry about it, you'll do it again, it's just as you get more experienced you care less about making mistakes like this.
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oops
yeah, we've all been there...on a flight around southern u.k. at every airfield I gave the call sign of an aircraft that i use to fly some 5 years earlier...I was having a real senior moment.
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And I remember calling final sequentially of every ac i had flown that day but couldn't remember the one I was in at the time. The contoller wisely responded 'ac on short final clear to land'. Long day.
Its not called the 'Brain Disconnect Button' for nothing.
Its not called the 'Brain Disconnect Button' for nothing.
Last edited by 18greens; 11th Dec 2007 at 20:57.
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Dear Southendcontroller...
Oh how very refreshing and what a relief it was just to hear how many people are doing this when I thought it was just me - I also did Saaaafend on my cross-country qualifier. I errrr-ummmed so much they thought I had a rough running engine!
Also after a long time holding over Littlehampton for what seemed ages to land at Shoreham, a friend was on finals when at the last moment he was asked to go around. We then heard the word 'Git' come loudly from the radio.
We managed to convince ATC that he was merely giving the abbreviation for 'Going around - In - Turn'!
Join Date: May 2005
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As everyone has said, Sothend are very friendly.
My first solo land away was Biggin Hill to Southend. Called up for joining instructions and was told 'Runway 24, right hand circuit, call downwind'. Read back correctly and continued onwards. Approching the airfield tower approach calls up 'confirm right hand circuits'. I confirm runway 24 right hand circuit. Just established downwind for 24 and call 'G-CD downwind 24'. ATC replies 'G-CD you can have a left hand circuit if you want. All you needed to do was ask!' I had just joined a left hand circuit instead of right!
Learnt from the mistake, had a good laugh with the ATC on the ground and will never do it again... hopefully
My first solo land away was Biggin Hill to Southend. Called up for joining instructions and was told 'Runway 24, right hand circuit, call downwind'. Read back correctly and continued onwards. Approching the airfield tower approach calls up 'confirm right hand circuits'. I confirm runway 24 right hand circuit. Just established downwind for 24 and call 'G-CD downwind 24'. ATC replies 'G-CD you can have a left hand circuit if you want. All you needed to do was ask!' I had just joined a left hand circuit instead of right!
Learnt from the mistake, had a good laugh with the ATC on the ground and will never do it again... hopefully
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Slightly related to OP:
On my first XC solo, I called up Wycombe tower and passed the details of my nav-ex from Denham to Denham via Leicester, but failed to give my position.
Very nice sounding female controller asks:
"Golf Foxtrot Tango, and where exactly are you on this epic voyage?"
Me (blushing) "Ah, Stokenchurch tower!"
When the time came for me to leave the frequency, I called up and said,
"Golf Foxtrot Tango, nearing completion of said "epic voyage" and changing frequency.........."
I could here the amusement in the girl's voice and had a little chuckle to myself, and have always remembered since that the people on the other end of the radio are just people like me, and nothing to be afraid of!
On my first XC solo, I called up Wycombe tower and passed the details of my nav-ex from Denham to Denham via Leicester, but failed to give my position.
Very nice sounding female controller asks:
"Golf Foxtrot Tango, and where exactly are you on this epic voyage?"
Me (blushing) "Ah, Stokenchurch tower!"
When the time came for me to leave the frequency, I called up and said,
"Golf Foxtrot Tango, nearing completion of said "epic voyage" and changing frequency.........."
I could here the amusement in the girl's voice and had a little chuckle to myself, and have always remembered since that the people on the other end of the radio are just people like me, and nothing to be afraid of!
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Comm1 / Comm2
My particular forte is not resetting the Comm 1/2 switch on the audio panel after talking on box 2. Normally get a polite reminder from ATC and, touch wood, never let slip any untoward language so far.
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I used to know an ex-hostie. She had a slight lisp, had been told to avoid doing the cabin announcements, and succeeded for many months. Eventualy came the time when she could avoid it no longer. So she wedged herself in the corner with the phone in one hand and the card with the thing on it in the other, hit the button and off she went.
She actually managed to do the entire thing perfectly, not a hitch, and hung the phone up with a big sigh of relief.
Almost immediately it buzzed, so she picked it up.
"Sharron, that was absolutely excellent! We enjoyed it immensely up here on the flight deck. Would you like to do it for the passengers now?"
As for my own prowess, I'm saying nuffink.
She actually managed to do the entire thing perfectly, not a hitch, and hung the phone up with a big sigh of relief.
Almost immediately it buzzed, so she picked it up.
"Sharron, that was absolutely excellent! We enjoyed it immensely up here on the flight deck. Would you like to do it for the passengers now?"
As for my own prowess, I'm saying nuffink.
The week after I got my Assistant Flying Instructor Rating, I took my then girlfriend for a flight in the club 172 and proceeded to patter the entire take off to everyone on Birmingham Tower frequency...........