Amusing and curious incidents as a passenger.
 

OK, air travel is not all horror stories for passengers is it? So lets hear some interesting and or curious experiences here!

I will start, circa 1974 a flight from Fiji to Rarotonga with a technical stop at Samoa. Both legs were a number of hours on a Hawker Siddely 748 twin turbo prop with about 40 passenger capacity. Just after take off one of the bare footed stewardesses taped an 'out of order' notice to the toilet door. From then on everyone sat with their legs crossed looking at the blue Pacific roll slowly by below us. It was after dark when we landed for the technical stop at Faleolo (Samoa) where I was one of the last passengers to leave and I did so the stewardess take the notice off the toilet door and a Samoan man I had never seen before came out, looked around then followed me down the steps and disappeared into the darkness. The cabin crew were smuggling friends or family!:=

I was flying on QF from Singapore to Frankfurt as SLF. One of the passengers had gotten into his duty free booze, and was abusive to anyone and everyone. When the cabin crew confiscated his grog, things got even worse, until the CC produced zip-cuffs, handcuffed the guy, and took him away (I assume to a crew seat). I'm sure there would have been a welcoming party of BGS for him in Frankfurt too :).

Well done to the CC involved.

Unfortunately I have seen too many incidents like that on SIA Karachi/Islamabad to Singapore. They supply the booze to young guys who are completely ill equipped to handle it and there are no CC beefy enough to handle the consequences.

Amusing:

Some years ago on a BMA ATP flight BD228 routing LHR-BHX-EMA at around Christmas time. There were something like 12 pax booked LHR-BHX and an additional one pax booked LHR-EMA(via BHX) - i.e. 13 out of LHR, 12 to BHX and one to EMA. There were also five staff (I worked for BMA at the time) travelling non-rev/sub-load LHR-EMA. Imagine the laughs from us staff pax when, after landing at BHX, the one and only revenue passenger travelling onwards to EMA got off the flight totally un-noticed :rolleyes: leaving just us five staff onboard. Said pax was eventually located wandering around the baggage reclaim wondering why her bag had not appeared on the carousel :ugh: - and was reboarded for the short onwards flight to EMA!

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Curious 1:

More recently, having sat down on a UA 777 flight to SFO, after a short wait I noticed a couple of fairly heavy-set guys came onboard, walk towards the back, and then a couple of minutes later came forward again with another guy in tow. A few minutes later yet the captain announced "Sorry for the short delay to our departure, but we had a passenger on board who we'd rather not have flying with us today, and we've been waiting for him and his baggage to be taken off the airplane"

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Curious 2:

Again as a pax on a UA 777 this time inbound to LHR, I was intruiged that we seemed to be going round the hold at Bovingdon longer than most other arrivals - UA's channel 9 allowed me to hear other aircraft behind us being vectored for approach. After landing, the aircraft braked very hard just short of the parking stand, and steps were brought up to the door rather than the jetway being connected. Must be a broken jetway, I assumed. Cabin crew said "Everyone please remain in their seats with the seatbelts fastened until instructed otherwise". Huh? Immediately the L2 door was opened, several police got onboard and went rearwards. Passengers forward of the L2 door were then allowed to get up and disembark. Never did find out why the police boarded - presumably an unruly passenger, but as I slept for most of the flight whatever happened didn't come to my attention. I've subsequently assumed that the reason the aircraft went round the hold more than all the other arrivals was to give the plod time to muster at the arrival gate?

A

Came back on KLM once, late-night from Dubai. An overnight flight with very tired B767, no IFE, very very squashed, and absolutely 100% full - except for the seat next to me :)

Then at the very last second, a very big Indian guy boarded and took the seat. Normally I'm friendly but was just too tired and I could tell he felt the same so we didn't even exchange pleasantries.

An hour in, I finally nodded off. He did the same, and his head started to loll onto my shoulder. My leg flopped to the side, and I could feel our legs touching. Always an awkward moment. The last thing I remember, was thinking "oh what the hell", and just relaxed into full slumber, and off I went.

Next thing I remember was just before breakfast, I woke up to find I was in the spoons with this bloke.

Two with KLM...
(1)
Peak flight evening SPL-LHR just landed LHR.
Obviously fairly new stewardess starts making the usual announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen welcome to......"
long pause
then a panicked "ohmigod where are we?"
followed by a shriek as she realised she'd said that with the mike open
Complete collapse of rest of cabin crew & pax

Sent all use tired day-trip businesspeople home in a good mood!

(2)
One summer afternoon, having managed to get away early from the office, go to SPL & ask checkin if they can put me on earlier flight.
Clickety-click on keyboard, "yes you're on do you want business class upstairs or downstairs?"
me : errr upstairs on a 737? Heathrow?
Sure nuff is a new 747-400. so upstairs for me!
In fact upstairs is me and the 2 senior F/As and that's it.

So we are on the run-in to LHR, just out of the circuit and one of the F/As comes over and says "is it OK if we look out of the windows?"
me: "err, yeah, um, sure" (?que?)

Then the whole way down until the "seats for landing" announcement there were 2 excited F/As dashing back & forth doing the whole sightseeing bit "oooh look it's Buckingham Palace".. "oooh look it's..." etc etc.

Once we were on stand I asked what it was all about - turns out that both of them had been flying for over 10 years, but never been to London, always long haul and for a long haul crew London was "an exotic destination".

I just thoughth it was nice that 2 seasoned professionals could rediscover their excitement for flying!

We had a job to do in Baghdad in 2003 just after the fighting stopped. Getting there as civilians was difficult but we made it as far as the transit hotel in Kuwait, including our 15 cartons of equipment, without any problems. Then the arranged charter plane was unavailable and we were stuck in transit! Fortunately our local contact advised he had made other arrangements which involved racing out to the taxiway in a pickup truck to scramble aboard a Ukrainian Antonov freighter (4 turbo prop), engines were already running as we tossed our stuff onto the ramp and climbed on for the ride with one other passenger, two small trucks, a pallet or two and a small forklift truck. The trip was OK and on landing we taxied to an deserted apron area and they unloaded. Then we stood around looking at each other not knowing what to do, including apparently the crew. Eventually the skipper asked if we had a phone. We had an Inmarsat portable that he borrowed and called somewhere then he asked if we wanted a ride to Kiev!

I am sure we never paid for the flight and I wasnt even sure we were in Baghdad until the Australian Air Force vehicle found us and took us to the tower building.

I remember well over twenty years ago being on a BA flight from Newcastle to Heathrow. If I remember correctly the flight took less than one hour, On landing one of the CC stood up and gave the usual "welcome to London Heathrow" and continued with "where the time is 16.55, one hour behi...... Sorry, the same time as it would be in Newcastle. Very red face for the young lady and a great deal of merryment from pax and CC alike.

on a Ryanair flight into Krakow a few weeks ago the FA gives the usual welcome over the PA but with a twist "Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Krakow where the local time etc......On behalf of your Captain Maverick, his co-pilot Goose and all of us on the Top Gun team we thank you for flying with us and look forward to seeing you again soon." It seemed like I was only one of a few who noticed and i couldnt quite believe my ears but I was reassured when he followed up with a rather stern warning to one passenger who stood up before the seat belt light went out saying "passengers are reminded that for safety reasons you should remain seated until the seatbelt light has gone off. Passengers failing to observe this rule will be shot.":eek:
i know it was Ryanair, but really, surely he could be shot for such behaviour!

Southwest DAL-ELP recently... After most of the safety briefing was complete "Finally ladies and gentlement, for those of you who listened to the safety briefing thankyou, and for those of you who didn't good luck if we have an accident" :eek:

A

Hers is one I make as a captain close to retirement.

Ladies and Gentleman welcome on board and first of all I want to tell you that i am really feeling lucky today.

As a very young first officer, i made the following PA

Got some bad news and good news for you ladies and gentlemen.

The bad news is we have a 20 minute holding delay, the good news is they have just found Buddy Hollies luggage.

A few minutes later a signed note came up to the flight deck,
it read

I didnt think that was very funny!

Had a similar experience to "mullers" recently, also on Ryanair, probably travelling from Stansted to Valencia. The captain sounded like he had, or aspired to, a second job in "stand up" comedy. I felt somewhat uneasy. It reminded me of a '60s cartoon showing hippy passengers aghast that their pilot was also a hippy.

Personally, it just worries me deeply that people no longer have:

a) a sense of humour; and b) tolerance for bad jokes! :hmm:

Soon after the fall of Communism, I found myself on a flight - I won't name the carrier, but it wasn't Aeroflot - from Vnukovo (Moscow) to Ekaterinberg. It was -15C outside, and thankfully, some time had been spent in de-icing the aircraft, an IL-86. During this time, the CC came round with a trolley, flogging booze, soft drinks and sandwiches, which from the look of them had been made at home. I had the distinct impression that the whole thing was a bit of private enterprise, because there were no serious catering facilities at VNO in those days. The aircraft started up and began to taxy to the holding point. The CC were deeply immersed in their work, and did not realise the captain was making a rolling take off. As the aircraft climbed out, realisation began to dawn on them, but it was too late. Gravity forced the trolley to rear of the aircraft (where I was seated), whereupon the CC lost control of both it and its contents. (For those not familiar with the IL-86, you enter the aircraft by a door in the belly, where there is a baggage storage area. You then take the stairs into the cabin). The trolley finished up at the bottom of the stairs, accompanied by a cacophony of breaking glass, and a bout of trooper-like swearing from the two CC, who obviously saw the end of their private enterprise for that day!

Late PAX
 

Easyjet from Stanstead a couple of years back, we were missing 2 passengers. Cue mutterings from the cabin and the usual pointed announcement about offloading baggage from the flight deck. Enter two rather red-faced and breathless passengers...

...and about 30 people in front of me waved their hands in the air in a kind of "Mammy" way. Apparently they were a party of deaf people off for a break, and of course their friends had not heard the announcements. Not sure what would happen in an emergency of course, let's hope thay can lip-read!

Cheers - SLF

One from BA - onboard a 737 intended to fly Koln-LHR

Koln gets very intense storms during the summer - I was sitting in 1A as we taxied out to the runway watching the bow wave from the nose gear as the rain pelted down.

We lined up on the runway and the engines began to spool up, then rapidly spun down again closely followed by a clearly audible "What the :mad: do you think you are doing?" through the cockpit door.

The aircraft was then taxied off the runway to a holding point where the skipper proceeded to tear strips off his co-pilot for about 15 minutes until the weather had passed.

I'm guessing that the episode was only heard by the first few rows of passengers, but it had us chuckling.

Great example of bad, very bad, CRM!!

I can't understand why the skipper of 737 (with only one tiller) could blame the co-pilot for attempting a take off?

Rwy in Sight

August 2003, Iberia, MAD-JFK. A340-300, EC-GGS.

Boarded the plane (they were boarding in zones, and I was one of the last to go through in my zone - and got upgraded to biz as a consequence ;)) normally. 60 minutes later we're still sitting on the tarmac and the jetway is still connected and (speculating, not sure how the system works) the A/C was being fed from the ground. The captain finally announces why we're still waiting - seems that Iberia somehow made a mistake (in his words "In the 25 years I've been flying with Iberia this is the first time this has happened") and the F/O allocated to the flight arrived JFK-MAD the same morning and couldn't possibly be flying with us. Well - 20 minutes later we got our spare F/O :)


D.

We seemed to spend most of a snowy January day in some sort of queue waiting our turn, or whatever, to take off from Prague for London. We got deiced (or something) a couple of times, watched a movie and drank all the booze that was offered then the announcement that there would be a slot for us in a couple of minutes or we could go back to the terminal building for more food etc. He went on to say that the First Officer thought we should take a vote "But I am the captain and only my vote counts, we are going to London", everyone cheered and we were on our way!

The RH Tiller is an option (No idea whether BA excercsied this option thou)

Landed at LAX many moons ago after a very fast Pacific crossing. Apparently too fast for Immigration, because we were kept on the plane so long they showed us an Abbot and Costello movie on the ground. Which was either kind, or unnatural punishment.

Also, sat in 4A on a KLM 747 halfway across Russia while they pulled the floor up and sent someone down to play with some kit.

And I've mentioned this before, but at Boston en route to Europe, I have a very tight transit but NW staff very kindly rushed me from one plane and bundled me onto the next. Unfortunately there'd been a gate change and I was put on a flight to Montreal.

The only time I requested a voluntary downgrade
 

Was in WTP once with British Airways to that tasteful holiday paradise, Joo-Buy. WTP seems to attract the more Blingtastic passenger I have noticed. As ever, BA managed to split everyone up, including a rather excitable family "goin' to va Boorj" and keen to share their exciting plans with the rest of us. Dad stuck at the back shoutin', everyone else dotted around the front. Well the FA duly started the process of moving volunteers around. "Nah fanx" says Dad "I'm happy here", stays put (!)

In the meantime their 2 young brats were isolated either side of me in the front bulkhead row, centre section ugh, peanuts whizzing past my face.

I spotted mum, over in 28B in splendid isolation. "Do you want to swap so you can be with your boys?", I ventured. "Nah fanx" again, big G&T, eyeshades on, and the old cow reclined for the next 7 hours :{ in that glorious single seat.

Dad did nothing except wake everyone up shouting from the back row "you are banned from your Scalextric for 6 months" etc. kids start crying.

This was the first time I ever saw parents who actually wanted to be apart from their kids, 7 hours later I knew why!

Curious
 

I flew to Lhr from Mombasa in 1993,via Nairobi.
I remember being irritated,as the flight was delayed for a good hour,and observed an ambulance from the departure lounge window delivering someone on a stretcher to the parked 747.
Time to board,and i was seated toward the back of the aircraft.
I spent the rest of the flight feeling so sorry for the man who was laid on the stretcher across 3 rows of seats,in front of me.
Nurses had him curtained off to the side against the aisle,and a bit round seat C,but i could see him for the full duration of the flight,and saw the terrible pain he was in.
A few years later,i was watching a documetary on t.v.,and instantly recognised this face.
The very brave man on the flight,was no other than Richard Leaky,a well known paleontologist and conservationist,who had survived a terrible light aircraft crash in Kenya.
Richard lost his legs as a result of this accident,however is alive and well living in Kenya.

Oh dear, there are so many stories.....

Here goes one of my favourites:
The year is circa 78, and I am on a BWIA flight from Trinidad to NY. Flight was sold as non-stop, however proceeded to land in Antigua. I kind of liked what I saw during the approach and, once on the ground, asked a CC if I could leave the flight here (and change my ticket). Sure enough, she walked to the terminal to check re the ticket, briefly consulted with the captain and said 'sure, if you can find your luggage!' Next thing I know I am in the belly of a 707 (I think, could also have been a 727), rummaging around for my backpack. Found it in due course, hopped out of the cargo hold and walked to the terminal. From the open cockpit window the captain shouted a 'have a good time!' and waved......

Those were the days.........:ok:

Flying out of Saudi with BCAL in early 80,s was asked by CC if I would like a drink, ordered G&T which arrived in a large glass with extra bottles !. Questioned as to why such a large drink, I was kindly told that they "always served doubles when leaving the Kingdom Sir".

Also flying with BOAC back from Rome in the early 1960,s in "Whispering Giant" (Bristol Britania), took off into a Thunderstorm when other aircraft had returned to their gates. Had severe turbalance, St Elmo,s fire all over wing, lost engine in shower of sparks, CC being ill / injured (my mother helped serve the meal later in flight and received letter from BOAC managment and £10 cheque for her help). I was only 4 but thought it the best flight I had been on to date, much to my parents amazment. However after climbing out of the weather after 25min, the anouncment from flight deck was apologetic, but was clarified by saying that he had been in far worse over Berlin in 43-44, and that we should be made of sterner stuff being British !. Oh for the days of Empire

Braathens SAFE fly Oslo - Kristiansund - Stavanger - Bergen - Oslo (or they used to). Kristiansund is a small airport where you can see the apron from the temrinal building.

'Due to an incident on the incoming flight there will be a delay to the Stavanger flight.'

The plane taxis in. An ambulance arrives. What is very obviously a stiff is carried down the steps. The blanket blows away - a little old lady.

'Would any standby passengers for Stavanger please report to the check-in desk.'

One seat free. The Norwegians all stood back, a Brit took the one available seat.

In the late 70's my mum 'n dad flew to Canada, to visit her long lost brother. They were both in their mid 60's and my mum had never flown before. To get mum on the 'plane dad topped her up with whisky and managed to get her settled into her seat. However when she wanted to visit the loo she insisted my dad go with her and stand outside with the door slightly ajar so she could see him. He managed to convince the CC he was just obeying orders!

Initiative
 

Approx 1970. Early flight (0630) from Sydney to Canberra - full of public servants visiting the federal government for the day. The flight was operated by TAA - then a government owned airline. Plane loads, then sits at the gate for half an hour. Finally the door closes and we taxy out.

The captain comes on the PA to explain. "While we were doing our pre-flight checks a litlle light on the dashboard failed to light up. This could mean one of two things - either we have a problem with the aircraft, or the lightglobe is broken. Those of you who have tried to get something out of stores at 6:30 in the morning will appreciate the problem we have had. However, I would ask you to have some sympathy for the passengers on flight 123 to Melboune, because when their crew do their pre-flight checks there is a little light on the dashboard that will fail to light up ......"

BA flight AMS to LHR, a stormy winter evening in 2006.

Everyone on board, captain comes on the PA. PAX are no doubt expecting the usual announcement in plummy home counties tones that the flight will take x minutes, safety is our priority blah blah.

Instead he asks that those of us with a Daily Mail should turn to page 5 and read the report about the Virgin aircrew and pax recently injured when a plane encountered severe turbulence over the Atlantic. "This is why", he says in a rather irritated tone, "we ask you to keep your seatbelts fastened at all times when seated".

Unorthodox, but the cabin crew's safety demo received a lot more attention than usual :D

I also remember him annnouncing to the cabin crew after, I guess, receiving an unexpectedly direct routing into LHR, that it was "10 minutes to landing 2 minutes ago" :)

13Alpha

AA morning departure from ORD to LHR in December. Crowded gate area, no 777 outside, departure time starts to slip. Informed that FAA was inspecting the A/C across the APO in a hanger, but not to worry as crew hours were not an issue and that the curfew would be extended at LHR in case we were a little late.

More standing arround, still no 777. Finally told to go to a nearby gate where a different 777, originally bound for NRT, would become ours instead. Luggage, etc, moved over to the new gate. More standing around.

Then, an announcement to begin boarding but, strangely, economy first as "cleaners" were still working on the first and business cabins. Also asked to have passport in hand when presenting boarding pass. Much confusion and consternation among business and first passengers.

Begin boarding. Passports not physically inspected, but two men in jeans and fleece jackets, more British than American in appearance, along with a uniformed ICE official, stood watching intently as we presented boarding passes.

Sat on plane. Economy filled, then finally business and first. Sat and waited some more. A couple, man and woman, then got on very late, the woman sat a couple rows in front of me in the A seat near the front of economy. Man sat on the far side of the plane somewhere. One of the jeans-wearing men wanders through the cabin.

Further assurances that crew hours and curfew not a problem. Pushed back, deicing begins. Deicing suddenly stops, A/C pushed forward again, doors disarmed.

Flight attendant calls on PA for a woman, whose name I forget, to press her call button. No call button pressed. Flight attendant asks again. No response. Flight attendant approaches aforementioned woman in A seat and asks her if she is the person she is looking for. No apparent response. Asks a couple more times before response in the affirmative.

Flight attendant asks woman to follow her, with all her belongings, which she does. Male companion also marched off plane. Flight attendant returns to go through seat back pocket, overhead compartment, and under seats confirming with other pax that nothing was left on board.

Sit on plane some more. Captain gets on PA - has bad news, in fact, very bad news. Curfew can no longer be extended, AA has cancelled the flight, please don't be mean to the cabin crew, it's not their fault. Cue much grumbling and profanity. Entire plane debarks, passing the male passenger who had been taken off, stood outside the door with the ICE official, hands behind his back. AA rebooking desk looked like the seventh circle of hell with 10 minutes.

Curious Things
 

Ok, first post here! Anyway I do travel fairly often for business into Mexico and have had a few "curious" experiences.

1) I make the flight from San Jose Del Cabo to San Diego pretty often. I always take this trip on the same major Mexican airline. On every departure from SJD we have always taken off to the North. This one time we took off south with a very slow gradual ascent and then if I had to guess, we stayed under 7-10,000' for a very long time. Looking out the window we were following the coast all the away around the southern tip of Baja and then followed it for a very long time heading north. After about an hour we seemed to hit cruising altitude. As I said, I take this flight ALOT so I know the normal pattern into SAN. Anyway instead of the normal turn NE then loop back to SW for approach we began our descent while still over Mexico - looped West over the ocean and went straight in from to the east. Till this day I don't know the why we took this low and odd route but it was very unnerving! Also for some reason, there was no beverage service on the flight when there usually is.

2) Same carrier, same airports. Just loaded in SJD, waiting to push off and suddenly several Federales and airport security rush on to the plane with machine guns!!! The ramp agent approached a mid aged American couple and told them to deplane - the couple was refusing and then another guy a couple rows back jumps up and says that he is thier Lawyer and they are not getting off the plane. Long story short, these people came to Mexico for a gray market adoption of a baby. The baby did not have papers to travel to USA. Still a little scary seeing big men in green uniforms in a foriegn country on your airplane but the couple, baby and lawyer deplaned shortly after.

3) Idiot me left my Ipod on my seat when I went to the head - guess what wasn't there when I got back?

Here are a couple of my faves:

1) Flying on an Airlink flight from Detroit to Traverse City on a Saab 340. We get about halfway when we have to shut down an engine (this goes just like the Ron White blue-collar comedy bit), and have to turn back to Detroit. There are three of us on this flight, and sure enough, one of them asks "How far can we go on one engine?" And I just HAD to use Ron's answer: "Oh, about as far as the scene of the crash. I bet we beat the paramedics there by half an hour..." Poor girl was shocked. But the rest of the passengers had heard the bit before and had a laugh.

2) Flying Frontier from DEN to MDW, I could see we were coming in too high (I fly into Chicago a lot, and I get used to seeing the common approaches). Sure enough, although PF made a valiant effort to dive toward the runway, we ended up hitting the gas for a go around. Cue a lot of grumbling and grousing from the pax, until a brilliant FA got on the PA and said "Sorry folks, but the Captain was so happy to get here we're doing a victory lap."

I use that one any time I'm on a flight that has a go around now. Always eases the mood of the seatmates around me.

3) Just a couple weeks ago flying from LAS to ORD in cruddy wx (snow, slush, etc.), we were on final and just crossing the airport perimeter when we hit the throttles for the go around (cue my "Victory Lap" statement). No comment from the flight deck until many minutes later as we circle back around, and the Captain says "Sorry for the inconvenience, folks, but we had an aircraft taxi across our runway as we were landing." Once we're finally down and parked, the Cap'n comes out to say his goodbyes as usual, and he decides to let everyone know who to thank for the delay as we disembark: "Thanks for flying with us. Thank Virgin for cutting across our path. Have a good night. Remember, it was Virgin Atlantic that made us go around. Good night. Send a note to Richard Branson, thanking him for the delay. Thanks for flying..." :rolleyes:

One Captain's welcome speech a few years ago. He rounded off his cabin crew introduction with the phrase "...so you'll be well looked after - they're a great bunch of kids!" Made them sound like the Scooby Doo gang.

I'd always wondered what "bridling with indignation" looked like, but the CC in front of us put on a great practical display under their fixed smiles.

Bet I know who had their coffee "augmented" that flight...

Not actually on board but the boarding process.
Flying out of Jeddah (Saudi Arabia) about 5 years ago. Jeddah airport - even at the best of times is a zoo with people everywhere and no seperate departure gates, just a huge open hall with doors with gate numbers above them so you can walk down the steps to get into a bus to go an find your plane.
Anyway the screens are showing gate 29 as the gate for our flight and closer to the time the press of people is getting bigger and bigger then over the PA come the announcement "Flight so and so (can't remember the number) is now boarding from gate 28, there is a swarm of people as they pick up their 20kgs of carry on baggage and push and shove their way to gate 28, then about 4 minutes after that another PA announcement "Flight so and so departing from gate 27" - another huge swarm of people down the terminal then after about 5 minutes another PA announcement "Flight so and so departing from gate 29...................except this time they had got some ropes and security up and they finally ended up with a nice long orderly queue of passengers...................never seen anything like it before - or again :ok:

This was a fun trip.

Flying LON (can't remenber if it's LHR or LGW) to SEZ in 1997 with BA (747-200). We're all boarded and sitting (un)comfotably for the flight........

Intercom : "BING-BONG - doors to Automatic"

Our ears pop, so I assume tha cabin was pressurising, we settle down for TO when we get ...

Intercom : "BING-BONG - doors to Manual"

Me to Mrs drichard : "they've forgotten the captains sandwiches!"

1 min later

Intercom : "BING-BONG - doors to Automatic"

shortly followed by

Intercom : "BING-BONG - doors to Manual"

shortly followed by

Intercom : "BING-BONG - doors to Automatic"

shortly followed by

Intercom : "BING-BONG - doors to Manual"

Then silence.

By now I'm curious and so are most of the cabin. Then they open one of the doors and on walks a mechanic. We know he's a mechanic, he's covered in oil, is wearing a green dayglo jacket that's seen better days and is carrying a toolbox. He heads off towards the front.

30 minutes pass..... slowly ..... very slowly .... I need the loo !!!!

Suddenly, our friendly engineer deplanes, the doors are closed and we get ...

Intercom : "BING-BONG - doors to Automatic"

And we're off! Shorly after TO, an announcement from the FO goes along the lines ... "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, xxx here, we apologise for the delay in getting away, it was caused by the Captains' seatbely jamming with him in his seat".

It made us smile anyway.

Coming back was memorable for other reasons. 20 mins after TO we get the dreaded announcement "If there is a Dr. of medicine on board, could they please make themselves known to the cabin crew". At this point I expected us to either dump and return to SEZ or divert to somewhere like Nairobi. Fortunately, there were 3 Drs and the flight continued to the UK. It appeared that a passenger had collapsed and was now laid out in the rear galley! (I saw this with my own eyes).

Later, during the meal service I experienced one of the worst examples of british attitudes to foreigners. (Configuration was 3-3-3, I was in G, Mrs drichard was in H, and a french lady was sat in J). When the cabin attendant came to offer drinks, it became apparent the the lady in J spoke no english. I explained this to the CC who simply spoke a lot louder and slower (AKA Basil Fawlty). I speak pidgeon French and managed to translate, but I was totally ashamed by the actions of the CC. This flight was probably 50% english, 40% french, and 10% other nationalities, at the time it seemed inappropriate that the CC couldn't even offer a basic "Vin Rouge?" or "Vin Blanc" to the passenger.

The other year, I'm on my 60th BA flight of the year, LHR - PHX in WTP. Before take off, CSD comes along with a glass of champagne for me, and so the Austrian lady beside me wouldn't feel left out, one for her too. They kept feedin me champagne all the way over, but it's the most unusual (and excellent service!) I've ever seen.

2 more
 

Aeromexico Saab, Puerto Vallarta to Guadalajara to connect to a big jet to SAN. Normal take off then at about 2000' the AC suddenly cuts power to the engines and I experience that momentary feeling of weightlessness as we start descending. The CAP comes on and says something in Spanish that I can't understand. Guy next to me translates that a Mexicana 737 over ran the runway in Guadalajara and they closed the airport. We land back at P.V. and I got to drink at the bar for 2 more hours before we go again. When we land the 737 is still there at the end of the runway with collapsed nose gear sitting in the mud - a strange sight.

Several years ago, twin prop (don't remember the type, probably a Saab) SPI to DFW. Early morning flight with only about 4 pax. Very bad weather - female CAP comes on to tell us that we have to "go around the weather" and the flight will take about an hour longer than scheduled but not to worry as we have plenty of fuel. About 10 minutes later we hear and feel a loud "thump" from the rear of the plane then suddenly lose altitude very quickly. I am convinced that I am about to meet my maker. After a few minutes the CAP tells us that she suspects a piece of ice broke off the plane and hit the tail fin and that she "thinks" we will be ok. 2 hours later we have a safe landing at DFW - 3 hours in the air for a 1 hour flight.

Going Heathrow to Oslo some time ago with SAS. Sat next to a lady who was visiting her husband, who was working there. On pushback she asked me if we were on a DC10. No, Madam, I replied, it's a DC9, in fact it's an MD87 and virtually brand new. Oh, she said, you know a little about flying, to which I modestly replied ' a little' Tell me, she said, how safe is flying these days. Madam, this is Heathrow. What goes on outside the window happens day in, day out, week in, week, etct.,etc., and nothing bad ever happens. This seemed to calm her down. Eventually we were no.2 for take off behind a TWA Tristar. It set off down the runway, after half a mile, came to an abrupt halt, all the doors and chutes opened, and they chucked everyone off it 'cos it was on fire!!![Air conditioning duct I believe] She didn't speak to me for the rest of the flight!!{No serious damage, but the same aircraft burnt to a cinder on the ground at JFK 3 years later, if I remember correctly]. On the return trip, aisle seat alongside a gorgeous young thing. Got talking, she had never had a flight deck visit. I can arrange that, I toldher. Called a Flight Attendant, who duly spoke to Captain, and said pretty young thing disappeared up front. This will be good for conversation when she gets back thought I. To my complete dejection, she NEVER re-appeared from the Flight Deck, staying up there for the landing, taxiing in, the lot!!! Bet it made the Flight Crew's day, but it sure didn't make mine!!!!!!!!!:):)

humor
 

A bit off line but I was once on the green line in Boston and the driver must have had a second job as comedian - he told jokes during the trips, made (friendly but) funny comments on various passengers. It was hilarious, we almost decided to skip the party we were heading to and continue the ride...