How to Encourage People to Fly
- Cancel online check in (because you need travellers to Italy to fill in a form - you could email the form, or expand APIS, or have a check in desk for people collecting forms, but no....)
- Make sure it takes longer to check in business class (40 minutes) than economy - lay out the queue as a snake so social distancing is not possible - Enjoy watching your premium passengers twitch as they realise they are at risk of missing their flights.... - Close fast track (they paid extra to dodge the queue, but....) - Close the lounge - but don't tell anyone you have done it - Make sure as many food outlets in the terminal are closed as possible - Board by row numbers - but don't police it, so when your premium passengers get on the luggage lockers are full - Serve food in business class that is cheaper / less generous than an economy class offering ten years ago - Make an announcement saying you are free to eat food you bought before boarding from the shops that are closed - Don't give out the supplementary form you need to fill in on arrival on the plane - After landing, ask people to stay in their seats - but don't intervene when they run down the aisle to be first off - After landing, make people queue to complete the form (four at a time on arrival - so it takes an hour to clear immigration) - Turn off the air con in the terminal so as not to circulate the virus - Ask for feedback via a printed link to a survey on the boarding card - Close the survey 12 hours after landing, thus avoiding feedback that might help you improve.... - Wait for the good news to spread on social media, wonder why passenger numbers are not recovering as fast as you had hoped..... |
I suppose another valid title might have been "How to ensure your airline goes bust as quickly as possible". ;) Mind you at least the the UK government is doing its best to accomplish that anyway.....
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When I read the above, I do genuinely sympathise for those who have to fly and endure some or all of the above. I'm lucky, I can simply postpone all flying UFN. Thus no hassles for me! Just remains to be seen how many airlines will be left at the end of this global aviation disaster.
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Wow, that is a terrible list SLF3. Dare one ask which airports were involved? I trust you got back with less aggro.
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What is your airline? I guess you might be referring to BA, were it to fold I am sure the slack would be quickly filled by others, which has been happening for years anyway.
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No comment.
Did I mention the flight back was cancelled? I'm not planning any more trips...... |
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