Qn: How do you do it - ie. manage the family?

[The_Pharoah]

Thanks for the posts all. Surely though..its not all doom and gloom.

[sandbusboy]

So where are the jobs?

Howard Hughs suggests,
"There are plenty of jobs out there which allow you to manage work and family life, they just tend not to involve Airbus or Boeings"

I'm a Bus boy looking to downsize after 20+ years of airlines to find something more family friendly. Good a great Missus who has supported my career and have two young kids but its come the time she wants a hubby home more and the kids want a dad.
So need to find something "family friendly" on the East coast, prefer QLD,
Any suggestions?

[Metro man]

I've been a pilot for most of my working life, only two jobs since meeting the missus though.

1. Night freight, most weekends off, out and back during the night or day stops. No problems there, plenty of time at home. Even got to look after the kids during the day.

2. Low cost, out and back in one trip. About 14 days per month 8-12 hour duty period. Some unusual hours with early starts, late finishes and occasional all nighters, BUT I'm at home at some stage every day.

Long haul would be a different matter all together with days or weeks away and jet lag on the return. Haven't done it yet.

[ballistix71]

Personaly I think aviation isnt any different to any other job. Sure there are high divorce rates but there are also the successes when it comes to relationships. Perhaps the one thing I missed on previous posts was its all about 'Give and Take'. Marriages require work even when your not in the aviation industry.

Thankfully my wife is supportive of what I do, but that doesn't mean I get to ignore her either. She still wants her quality time (and the nice presents) and so she should. I always flew because I had a passion for it. I've told the wife I'd give it up for her, but she knows that it would tear my heart out and has told me in no uncertain terms she wouldn't let it happen. Something I that just strengthens my relationship further. Besides she also wants to give up full time work soon and is pushing for me to get a better paying RPT job *lol*

PS: Not having young kids also helps (got a 16yr old step daughter and 2o yr old step son)

[Mstr Caution]

After reading events in the press over the last week.

5 Mobile phones........that's gotta be a record.

[Wally Mk2]

geeeeeeeeeez "HH" what drugs are you on? I want a pound of whatever it is!
Don't tell the rat race here about our 'retirement' job will ya buddy they'll all want to come work for the Dr's & retire early:-) Was good once, the job will go to pot in the near future, still I can't complain had the best years of my flying with the Dr's. trouble is is there life after the Dr's? Hopefully:-(

"The_Ph" no it's not all doom & gloom but if you can keep woman (women as an Eg) & planes as far apart as possible then the world is yours!

Wmk2

[rcoight]

Crikey, I would have thought that missing one's neice / nephew / friend's son / daughter's birthday would have been a GOOD thing...

But, hey, that's just me...




Seriously, I wonder if this is the kind of thing that pilots forget when they chase the "bigger is better" mentality.

I've seen quite a few of my contemporaries regret their decision to go for the bigger aircraft / airlines at the expense of lifestyle.


Call me strange, but I'd rather go home each night and spend time with my wife, good friends, and family and maybe earn a few k less than those who live out of their suitcases and don't know where they'll be next month just for a few k extra per year.

I work so I can have my lifestyle, rather than live for my work...

What is lifestyle worth?

[The_Pharoah]

I agree with the comments earlier re hours spent furthering your career. Being a career accountant up till now, I've also done the 'hard yards' ie. working 80 hr weeks and then working the weekend, lots of stress, hardly see the family, etc and thats just working in the city doing a job I dislike. But like any career path, there's always those who live to work rather than work to live.

From the comments received, I think the underlying theme is that whilst aviation can be tough esp on LH, there are upsides to it but at the end of the day, if you don't take care of the relationship with the Mrs/Family it'll end no matter what industry you're in.

Its the old adage...it is what you make it

[Metro man]

Call me strange, but I'd rather go home each night and spend time with my wife, good friends, and family and maybe earn a few k less than those who live out of their suitcases and don't know where they'll be next month just for a few k extra per year.

Actually the $$$ can be considerably better, and with childrens education, mortgage, retirement to plan for, those golden handcuffs are quite strong. Once you double your income it's difficult to go back.

[aileron_69]

Well if some of you guys are finding it hard to balance a family when u are away for a few days and even a whole week at a time I suspect there isnt much hope for me flying survey and being away 8-12 weeks straight is there?

[multime]

I work typically 6 weeks on 2 off, but this rarley happens, as shifts are extended. No complaints i love the work.
I met my partner after a 3 month dog baiting contract and didn,t see her again for 4 mths. 14 years later i,m very greatfull she put up with me as kids are out of the question. Some shifts extend to 17 weeks which do push the boundarys.
It doses come down to your partners understanding of what we do. Alot of phone calls and skype catchup to refresh the memorys.
And yes aileron it is survey.
Love it
M

[Charlie Foxtrot India]

Are there any aviation husbands out there? Or is it just assumed that the "Missus" has to stay home?

My hubby does FIFO and I haven't had a weekend off in about 12 years. Never understood why some days of the week are supposed to be more "special" than others?

[Yak_slapper]

Im away from home a fair bit. But i think myself lucky when the military guys are away for 6 months at a time. Dad comes home and the kids suffer from stranger danger for the first few days.

YS

[compressor stall]

I've had one Xmas with my wife in 7 years. But we look at the 24/7 time at other times of the year that we do get to spend together and with my baby boys and realise that that is far more important.

My wife finds it easier when I go away for 2 months as she can plan and psyche herself up for it and gets into a routine. It's the random four day trips here and there that end up being more unsettling.

She's very understanding, knows how much I love my job and does not try and stop me from pursing it.

[Wally Mk2]

Hey "CS" ya wife ain't gotta a sister by chance has she? She can't be real, women don't love us guys that much sheeeez I think I'll play Santa next year
Yr one lucky SOB

"CFI" would be good to get a female perspective on this subject seeing as it's still a male dominated industry We had a guy at work where he was the Mr Mom & left to do it full time (look after the rug rats) for a while, whilst his 'trouble & strife' earnt the big bucks.
Shift work period isn't healthy I reckon killed my ,marriage stone dead, never again not even if "CS" does have a free sister in-law


Wmk2

[Lodown]

How do I do it?

All the benefits of extra pay in the airlines buys a better class of divorce lawyer for the other half...if that's possible.

[bonvol]

Be interesting to do a poll of all those who have done longhaul for a long time and see who is still married to wife 1.

Anecdotally the percentage would not be high.