Question on Grounding Oneself.
Thread Starter
Question on Grounding Oneself.
My Dad died last week after about a month's illness. I grounded myself (I'm a recreational flyer) during this time due to stress. I'm figuring on at least two weeks more before I decide to get back in the saddle and even then I think I'll fly with an instructor for a few hours. Anyone have any thoughts/been in this situation?
Nunc est bibendum
Sorry to hear about your loss Sunfish.
Good move on the flying though. Being able to assess your own ability to operate safely isn't something that can be easily 'taught'- even though it is a 'learnt' skill. Depending on where you are with your initial training the ride with an instructor may be more than you need but probably not a bad way to go if you're not feeling confident about where you are. You may find that it just helps to 'settle' or focus your mind in the aircraft again.
If you're concerned about this from your medical point of view and need to see a DAME to 'clear' you to fly again then I wouldn't be overly worried about it. The truth is that you probably could fly easily but you've just chosen not to for a bunch of different reasons. None of these reasons is related to your ability to exercise the privileges of your medical and license.
Regards
Good move on the flying though. Being able to assess your own ability to operate safely isn't something that can be easily 'taught'- even though it is a 'learnt' skill. Depending on where you are with your initial training the ride with an instructor may be more than you need but probably not a bad way to go if you're not feeling confident about where you are. You may find that it just helps to 'settle' or focus your mind in the aircraft again.
If you're concerned about this from your medical point of view and need to see a DAME to 'clear' you to fly again then I wouldn't be overly worried about it. The truth is that you probably could fly easily but you've just chosen not to for a bunch of different reasons. None of these reasons is related to your ability to exercise the privileges of your medical and license.
Regards
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Sad news for anyone. My heart is with you.
I've had a similar experience and found that flying was absolutely the last thing on my mind that I wanted to do at the time. I was worried that it would affect me like yourself. After a few weeks though I started to miss it and jumped back on board. It felt a little strange at first like I had forgotten how, but it really wasn't all bad. You certainly don't forget how. It's funny when you fly a lot and you have a little break; it's like you've forgotten what the feeling is like, yet students have breaks all the time when learning to fly so it must make it hard for them.
I've had a similar experience and found that flying was absolutely the last thing on my mind that I wanted to do at the time. I was worried that it would affect me like yourself. After a few weeks though I started to miss it and jumped back on board. It felt a little strange at first like I had forgotten how, but it really wasn't all bad. You certainly don't forget how. It's funny when you fly a lot and you have a little break; it's like you've forgotten what the feeling is like, yet students have breaks all the time when learning to fly so it must make it hard for them.
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Grounding oneself
Condolences on your loss Sunfish and bouquets on recognising unnecessary stress/ lack of concentration it could cause when you are flying. About 10 years ago, one of our Gr1 Instructors went throught he pain of his father being diagnosed with a very aggressive tumour. We stood him down rom work for a bout a week before his father pasing away and for at least 2 weeks after. He was then to decide when he felt able to return to light duties and after that he only flew with students who were past the ab initio stage. After 4 weeks back at work he was back at full strength. Another Instructor - although much junior, went through a similar process some time later and was offered as much time as he felt he needed. In both cases, the pilots concerned could take their time to come to terms with their losses and return to work as they saw fit. One Instructor got on top of things pretty well and the other took a very long time. I do hope Sunfish that you will soon come to terms with your grief and move on with your life as I am sure your father would have wanted you to and cherish the memories of your shared "good times".
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Sunfish, losing your Dad is a really sad time and I hope you and those close to you bear up all right. You are very wise to follow your own mind and give yourself some time to get over it. Unless there are other reasons though, I don't think it's an aviation doctor problem unless you can't sleep or concentrate or similar.
In my case, I was travelling in the country in the plane when the news came through that my Dad had passed on. Fortunately another (non-pilot, but GA-friendly) family member was with me and after some thought we agreed that I should fly back and he would come with me. We decided that the only safe way to do it was put everything else out of our minds for the next few hours and fly this trip just like any other. That's what we did, and had no difficulty... But I don't know if I would have done so as easily on my own. The other travel options weren't at all practical and the weather good so it really wasn't a difficult decision. The flight went without a hitch and I am confident I would have been quite OK at dealing with anything untoward that might have arisen. If the factors were different (unfamiliar route, weather, aircraft issues, etc), then I may well have sat out the day and worked out some other way to get home. We did not discuss Dad or any of the related matters during the flight; that might sound heartless but it seemed better to me to save the emotion for later on. Having helped me get into aviation in the first place, he would not have wanted me to fly that (or any other) trip anything less than professionally anyway.
The part I didn't handle so well was the funeral a week later and the day or two either side of it. I gave the eulogy at his funeral and even preparing it was stressful. I had nightmares around this time as well and passed on flying for a week or so afterwards.
I think the right response depends on how you feel and whether you are confident about your judgement and state of alertness. If there's doubt, give it a rest, but when you feel ready, put your mind to flying and everything else aside for a time, as you always should anyway. You might find that taking the next flight with a friend who also flies will help. Doing something you're good at and enjoy, as long as you're safe, won't hurt you.
My suggestion is to take it all one or two days at a time for now. It seems this type of grief affects different people in different ways. You'll know yourself when you're up to it, but don't rush it or be impatient with yourself. Best wishes in this difficult time.
In my case, I was travelling in the country in the plane when the news came through that my Dad had passed on. Fortunately another (non-pilot, but GA-friendly) family member was with me and after some thought we agreed that I should fly back and he would come with me. We decided that the only safe way to do it was put everything else out of our minds for the next few hours and fly this trip just like any other. That's what we did, and had no difficulty... But I don't know if I would have done so as easily on my own. The other travel options weren't at all practical and the weather good so it really wasn't a difficult decision. The flight went without a hitch and I am confident I would have been quite OK at dealing with anything untoward that might have arisen. If the factors were different (unfamiliar route, weather, aircraft issues, etc), then I may well have sat out the day and worked out some other way to get home. We did not discuss Dad or any of the related matters during the flight; that might sound heartless but it seemed better to me to save the emotion for later on. Having helped me get into aviation in the first place, he would not have wanted me to fly that (or any other) trip anything less than professionally anyway.
The part I didn't handle so well was the funeral a week later and the day or two either side of it. I gave the eulogy at his funeral and even preparing it was stressful. I had nightmares around this time as well and passed on flying for a week or so afterwards.
I think the right response depends on how you feel and whether you are confident about your judgement and state of alertness. If there's doubt, give it a rest, but when you feel ready, put your mind to flying and everything else aside for a time, as you always should anyway. You might find that taking the next flight with a friend who also flies will help. Doing something you're good at and enjoy, as long as you're safe, won't hurt you.
My suggestion is to take it all one or two days at a time for now. It seems this type of grief affects different people in different ways. You'll know yourself when you're up to it, but don't rush it or be impatient with yourself. Best wishes in this difficult time.
I am so sorry for your loss and I empithize with you as I was in a similar situation some time ago.
If you are worried about your reactions think of consulting your Doctor as you may have a temporary form of deprewssion as I had. Other symptoms can occur such as general loss of enthusiasm, libido and other things.
A short term solution may be a short medication which is not to be sneered at if you are clinically depressed as I was though I resisted this aproach. I also grounded myself and went for 3 months untill I could fly with an instructer friend from the local flying club who understood what had happened and encouraged me.
I applaud you for asking for advice and things will improve.
If you are worried about your reactions think of consulting your Doctor as you may have a temporary form of deprewssion as I had. Other symptoms can occur such as general loss of enthusiasm, libido and other things.
A short term solution may be a short medication which is not to be sneered at if you are clinically depressed as I was though I resisted this aproach. I also grounded myself and went for 3 months untill I could fly with an instructer friend from the local flying club who understood what had happened and encouraged me.
I applaud you for asking for advice and things will improve.
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knowing oneself
Hi Sunfish,
Sorry for your loss, I too have had the same.
Good on you for looking at the situtation in sound mind.
By the way do you or your instructor smoke ?
Cheers 
Sorry for your loss, I too have had the same.
Good on you for looking at the situtation in sound mind.
By the way do you or your instructor smoke ?
Cheers
