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Captain Informative

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Old 3rd May 2005, 23:32
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Captain Informative

Can I put on the record my sincere thanks and appreciation to the virgin captain on a flight out of canberra recently. Not only did he inform us of the enroute and destination whether, he added other facinating gems that me and my fellow travellers were delighted to hear, and it didn't matter that our $2.50 headsets were unusable for the 10 minutes or so while he delivered his captivating speil. We were informed of such things as:
  • engine thrust
  • speed and effect of wind
  • fuel burn
  • cost of fuel and airframe (didn't mention cost of pilots)
  • heaps of other great stuff

My only gripe was that he didn't warn us of his forthcoming monologue, so we passengers didn't have time to retreive sick bag and position said bag over mouth outlet. Yes, things did get messy!

The poor FO, he must have been having convulsions! Have others been subjected to such hideous abuse lately?
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Old 4th May 2005, 01:27
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Struth mate, you are easily annoyed, aren't you?
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Old 4th May 2005, 04:34
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.. not as bad as one veteran old timer in an airline which is no longer with us ... would ramble on about this and that .. and, on one occasion I recall when I was paxing, whilst telling the folks about the dreadful weather and how he would save us all ... flew the bird straight into a significant cell which proceeded to beat the living daylights out of us all ... but there were some wonderful and eccentric characters about in days of yore ... become a tad boring these days ...
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Old 4th May 2005, 12:20
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How come no captains do the pax 'meet & greet' (a la Dean Martin in Airport) like the good old days?
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Old 4th May 2005, 21:54
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.. with the spare time in their 30 minute or quicker turnaround ?
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Old 5th May 2005, 02:56
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Exclamation 30 mins!!!!

You mean someone gets 30!
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Old 6th May 2005, 07:28
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Old 8th May 2005, 12:22
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Applehead. Interesting post. I have heard several stories about the captain you mentioned - his crapping on is legend but the company pretend not to hear about them.
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Old 8th May 2005, 12:52
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Qantas isn't immune!

I've flown with a QF skipper who does the same thing. Just goes on and on sometimes. I can live with that but it is his signature opening comment that drives me nuts!

Ladies and gentlemen, what a beautiful day....
It comes out on every PA, every radio change of frequency, the lot. Again, most times I reckon it's a crack up. The time I didn't, it was used on a flight where we'd been delayed by about two hours, the passengers had been on then off and now back on, it was raining cats and dogs and we had no APU so the aeroplane was as stuffy as with a full load of punters. Of course, we then sit on the blocks for a few minutes while he finishes his 'what a beautiful day' PA before we got going!

We really do love ya though Colonel! You keep us entertained. The wry smile is to mask our terror that we'll burst out into fits of laughter whilst you're in the middle of your PA!

It takes all types I guess!
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Old 11th May 2005, 00:26
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it has to be better than the opening line of:


Hi, My Names is Doug XXXXXXX, and I'm Your Captain
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Old 11th May 2005, 02:24
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.. or the clowns who style themselves along the lines of "chairman of the steering committee".
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