Elvis Seen At Jabiru
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: australia
Posts: 6
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Elvis Seen At Jabiru
A local news paper alleges that Elvis and band were seen at YJAB on a chartered cessna 402 reg VH-KQA for a 1 off new years extravaganza at the croc hotel, its believed that before the show he visited the notorious Club Jabba and was seen to be eating cream and jelly doughnuts and washing them down with illegal mind altering substances. The performance later that evening was less than what the patrons had expected and the King soon found him self the target of there frustration, the situation only deteriorated as the performance went on and violence soon broke out. concerned for the kings safety his minder were forced to usher him to a waiting cream colored 1980 toyota corolla (beleived to be stolen from the kings ex girlfriends parents) an angry crowd chased him along the arnhem highway in a comandeered Kak Air Van. Airport staff say he was lucky to escape the angry crowd who were also accusing The King of taking advantage of some of the local indigenous girls. Airport staff would not give details of the kings destination but our sources tell us he was last seen in a cessna 207 VH-KAX headed towards Oenpelli. Feathers offered to fly authorities to oenpelli but they declined the offer.
Beno Beno Beno
Beno Beno Beno
Last edited by agfa; 8th Jan 2005 at 02:48.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Darwin, Orstrailya
Posts: 30
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Elvis with a pornstar Moustache, pair of aviator sunnies and a few beers, I can't see how the folks at the Croc didn't love the show! Then again this may have been similar to us being banned from drinking at the place during the tourist season. 
And the corolla versus the kakair van! would've been a death defying 80km/h drag down the highway!
Fight the power boys.
And the corolla versus the kakair van! would've been a death defying 80km/h drag down the highway!
Fight the power boys.
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 1
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
An explanation for the crap performance. He has not performed in over 25 years. At 70 years of age i am sad to say he has lost all of his (volentary) moves. His medication may have been one reason for the slurring of words and inability to stand up properly. One disgruntled onlooker described the performance as "like watching a wounded animal y'all" and "i just wanted to put him out of his misery". No official statement has been released from the Elvis website. Watch this space.
The Kak Air Van would normally have a huge advantage over the Corona with the manual box and lighter frame but due to a couple of very large female fans forcing their way into the van this was diminished. The combined effect of an extra 600+ pounds and the huge drag penalty suffered from their parachute sized underwear being waved from the window enabled Elvis to escape. A brief stop for the behemoth's to pick up a carcass from the road also slowed things down. Apparently roadkill is a delicacy. A few scavengers were also consumed (notably a dingo and a couple of crows who were picking at the remains).
Upon reaching the airport the entourage quickly whisked the King onto VH-LFU (not KAX as previously stated). They were told turbo was 'not an issue' for this particular flight. A brief pre flight was conducted which included 'making sure the fuel selector was on the correct tank'. Apparently they were apprehensive about landing at an out station as word had spread about the King taking advantage of the local indigenous girls. Also a professional soccer player had previously landed there and tried to take some of their women. He was a talker.
They eventually made it into the air after a hairy take off due to poorly lit portable lighting (someone hadn't been checking the batteries). Once airborne the pilot realised he was not night current, fortunatley the Chief Pilot was on board so they decided to shoot a few circuits. The pilot bounced horribly upon landing causing the aircraft to leave the side of the runway 2/3's of the way down the strip. A go around was conducted and the aircraft departed the area. An eyewitness account. "hey blolke, I seen dat plane go over dem trees at about 5 feet ay, dat bush pilot was real low, i could smell im".
The angry mob loaded into VH-NIV and VH-KNA and continued the chase.......................
The Kak Air Van would normally have a huge advantage over the Corona with the manual box and lighter frame but due to a couple of very large female fans forcing their way into the van this was diminished. The combined effect of an extra 600+ pounds and the huge drag penalty suffered from their parachute sized underwear being waved from the window enabled Elvis to escape. A brief stop for the behemoth's to pick up a carcass from the road also slowed things down. Apparently roadkill is a delicacy. A few scavengers were also consumed (notably a dingo and a couple of crows who were picking at the remains).
Upon reaching the airport the entourage quickly whisked the King onto VH-LFU (not KAX as previously stated). They were told turbo was 'not an issue' for this particular flight. A brief pre flight was conducted which included 'making sure the fuel selector was on the correct tank'. Apparently they were apprehensive about landing at an out station as word had spread about the King taking advantage of the local indigenous girls. Also a professional soccer player had previously landed there and tried to take some of their women. He was a talker.
They eventually made it into the air after a hairy take off due to poorly lit portable lighting (someone hadn't been checking the batteries). Once airborne the pilot realised he was not night current, fortunatley the Chief Pilot was on board so they decided to shoot a few circuits. The pilot bounced horribly upon landing causing the aircraft to leave the side of the runway 2/3's of the way down the strip. A go around was conducted and the aircraft departed the area. An eyewitness account. "hey blolke, I seen dat plane go over dem trees at about 5 feet ay, dat bush pilot was real low, i could smell im".
The angry mob loaded into VH-NIV and VH-KNA and continued the chase.......................
Last edited by Hellfire; 9th Jan 2005 at 05:37.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: australia
Posts: 7
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
journalistic integrity
it has come to my attention that one of my clients has been grossly misrepresented and i would like to set the record straight in the interest of journalistic integrity.
1. the aforementioned new years eve extravaganza at the croc hotel ( hereafter known as the heartbreak hotel) was a "big hunk o love" benefit for the victims of the tsunami with the proceeds (10 gorillas) going directly to said victims.
2. the "king creole" was well impressed with his performance though cut it short because he was "all shook up" by the hordes of "hard headed women" desperate to call him their "teddy bear". and since he doesn't have a "wooden heart" and simply "can't help falling in love" he feared he might "surrender" to their seductive swedish backpacker ways.
so it was "now or never".
3. elvis left the building and was whisked away in a 1985 desert sands corona 2.0 litre which can do way more than 80 kmh.
4. traditional owners admired the kings efforts so much they invited him to do a show at the gunbalunya sports and social club and forgave any former discrepency. ensuring him that his "blue suede shoes" would not be humbugged by "hound camp dogs".
i hope this clears up any misinformation and allows the whole episode to lie down. the king has felt ill the last few days since contiki left so lets give him a break.
sincerely
colonel tom parker
1. the aforementioned new years eve extravaganza at the croc hotel ( hereafter known as the heartbreak hotel) was a "big hunk o love" benefit for the victims of the tsunami with the proceeds (10 gorillas) going directly to said victims.
2. the "king creole" was well impressed with his performance though cut it short because he was "all shook up" by the hordes of "hard headed women" desperate to call him their "teddy bear". and since he doesn't have a "wooden heart" and simply "can't help falling in love" he feared he might "surrender" to their seductive swedish backpacker ways.
so it was "now or never".
3. elvis left the building and was whisked away in a 1985 desert sands corona 2.0 litre which can do way more than 80 kmh.
4. traditional owners admired the kings efforts so much they invited him to do a show at the gunbalunya sports and social club and forgave any former discrepency. ensuring him that his "blue suede shoes" would not be humbugged by "hound camp dogs".
i hope this clears up any misinformation and allows the whole episode to lie down. the king has felt ill the last few days since contiki left so lets give him a break.
sincerely
colonel tom parker
Guest
Posts: n/a
NYE
I would like to express my graditude to those responsible for bringing Elvis to Jabiru for NYE 2004/2005. I for one could not believe that a performer of that calibre would play in such a location. Unfortunately the performance stank as much as you would expect from someone who has been dead for 25 years.
I have placed a call to those in charge at the Croc hotel praising them for booking such talent. I also questioned them in regards to the entertainment scheduled for NYE 2005/2006 only to be advised that a lesser known talent has been booked. Croc hotel revellers in 2005/2006 will be treaded to the interpretive dance stylings of Hatstand Pincer Movement performing a piece titled "magpie goose lake."
In other Elivs news, the king was spotted eating a pizza outside the Croc some 7 days later.
I have placed a call to those in charge at the Croc hotel praising them for booking such talent. I also questioned them in regards to the entertainment scheduled for NYE 2005/2006 only to be advised that a lesser known talent has been booked. Croc hotel revellers in 2005/2006 will be treaded to the interpretive dance stylings of Hatstand Pincer Movement performing a piece titled "magpie goose lake."
In other Elivs news, the king was spotted eating a pizza outside the Croc some 7 days later.
thankyamomma
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: house
Posts: 9
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
It is good to see things don’t seem to have changed much. Club Jabba still alive! Contiki been in town recently? Hope you guys are having fun out there. G’day to you Hatstand and the rest of the kakair boys. I and I’m sure many others miss our Kak Air days. Most of the time it was just ‘not an issue’.
n’ator
n’ator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: australia
Posts: 7
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
recent jabiru news
lately there has been a flurry of activity in jabbers since elvis left
a pilot ran out of fuel
halfway through mowing the flightline
there was no tank to switch so he went to mobil and got some
in other news
one kakair pilot mixed colours with whites
and came to work in a pink shirt
he was mocked by many though mr burns gave him a promotion
though most recently a meal was cooked by one pilot who claimed the strange metallic taste was not due to any level of uranium or attempt to make everyone sick so only he could fly. it was simply because there was no washing liquid and the pot had been sitting there for days on end.
lets see what transpires next as those whacky guys get up to all sorts of crazy antics
a pilot ran out of fuel
halfway through mowing the flightline
there was no tank to switch so he went to mobil and got some
in other news
one kakair pilot mixed colours with whites
and came to work in a pink shirt
he was mocked by many though mr burns gave him a promotion
though most recently a meal was cooked by one pilot who claimed the strange metallic taste was not due to any level of uranium or attempt to make everyone sick so only he could fly. it was simply because there was no washing liquid and the pot had been sitting there for days on end.
lets see what transpires next as those whacky guys get up to all sorts of crazy antics
