You know you are a bush pilot when.... :)
Man Bilong Balus long PNG
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Looking forward to returning to Japan soon but in the meantime continuing the never ending search for a bad bottle of Red!
Age: 69
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Ah yes Will Robinson;
I can remember that nearly every time I flew into Efogi on the 'Jungles run' that a few of the local young ladies would come up to me and give me some fresh vegetables and say somewhat shyly.... "These are for you Mr Pilot"
And they always tasted better(the vegies that is) than the ones I used to buy at the "Stop and Steal" in Boroko.
You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.
The local girls have taken a.......
And they always tasted better(the vegies that is) than the ones I used to buy at the "Stop and Steal" in Boroko.
You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.
Last edited by Pinky the pilot; 1st Oct 2004 at 10:48.
when GT's silverbelly rant begins to make a whole lotta sense
when the smell of coconut oil in short black curly hair is the most erotic smell you've ever known
when the smell of coconut oil in short black curly hair in the morning becomes a daily occurence
when you start going north rather than south for RnR
when the balus you are flying was in png before u were even born
ahhh...sweet memories
when the smell of coconut oil in short black curly hair is the most erotic smell you've ever known
when the smell of coconut oil in short black curly hair in the morning becomes a daily occurence
when you start going north rather than south for RnR
when the balus you are flying was in png before u were even born
ahhh...sweet memories
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Melbourne,Vic,Australia
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When you make an AIRMOVE priority call to Dubbo FS (reverse charges) to lodge a flight plan with SARWATCH initiated at first light and they don't query the 120knt groundspeed on the first 2hr leg (in a C150)
Join Date: Apr 2004
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It was the end of a long flight one day and I finished up in Long reach, the flightservice officer asked me were i was staying and I said I hadn'nt chosen yet. He imediatly told me the best place to stay in town and booked it for me, saved me the taxi fare and as he had also noticed me watching the model aeroplanes flying from the apron started to explain why they were there, and that they had a radio and landed before traffic arived. I told him I used to fly r/c planes and wanted to have a look, well I got the grand tour of the local club, and town and then delivered to my hotel, It turned out the F.S. officer was one of the main aeromodelers.
Last edited by Will Robinson; 1st Oct 2004 at 15:38.
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Oh remember the days...
Hoss's remark about the Dugong brought it all back.
like 100+ kg's overweight in the 206 with a couple of builders, dogs and all their s
t, unstrapped down performing negative G's, just so you can get a rise out of them and yourself.
like crossing the ADIZ at F280 and penetrating Aussie airspace for 90 miles without a clearance just so you can see your old home, and you know coast watch would have no idea anyway.
I could go on but I'd be in tears by the end.
If they paid more we'd still be there.
B
like 100+ kg's overweight in the 206 with a couple of builders, dogs and all their s
t, unstrapped down performing negative G's, just so you can get a rise out of them and yourself.like crossing the ADIZ at F280 and penetrating Aussie airspace for 90 miles without a clearance just so you can see your old home, and you know coast watch would have no idea anyway.
I could go on but I'd be in tears by the end.
If they paid more we'd still be there.
B
Thread Starter
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Remembered another few...
... when you are asked if you want to take a plane back to Darwin for a 100 hourly, but stop and weigh up whether a couple of nights at The Vic etc is worth remembering how to fly in CTA.
... you look at the MAF pilots and think they are on a good wicket. House, wife, and an electric bowser. Man that's civilised. Maybe I could fake the god bit.
... Company procedure following a forced landing is to take the pilot to the pub and get him mightily pissed first, fill in the ASIR tomorrow.
... Pax manifests only ever have 3 surnames, only the initials change, eg: Wunungmurra G, Wunungmurra A, Wunungmurra F, Wunungmurra infant x3.
... You are filling in a pax manifest (Wunungmurra G, Wunungmurra S...) then you get to the outstation worker that is coming along for the day and think, Hmm, Rory McLenihan, thats an unusual name!
... You are filling in a pax manifest and don't have time for all the stuffing around so today you will write down the names of five AFL players. Yesterday it was English cricketers, tomorrow it will be formula one drivers names.
... When you go to the barge landing on Friday afternoon even though you don't have any freight arriving, you just don't want to miss the biggest social event of the week.
... You think paying $20 for a fried chook at the community takeaway is reasonable. After all it comes with a baked potato.
... You discuss over beers with your colleagues which Darwin funeral director has the best coffins to fit in C206's.
... You and your colleagues watch the new guy carefully and play it cool for a week or two.... he used to be an instructor.
... when you are asked if you want to take a plane back to Darwin for a 100 hourly, but stop and weigh up whether a couple of nights at The Vic etc is worth remembering how to fly in CTA.
... you look at the MAF pilots and think they are on a good wicket. House, wife, and an electric bowser. Man that's civilised. Maybe I could fake the god bit.
... Company procedure following a forced landing is to take the pilot to the pub and get him mightily pissed first, fill in the ASIR tomorrow.
... Pax manifests only ever have 3 surnames, only the initials change, eg: Wunungmurra G, Wunungmurra A, Wunungmurra F, Wunungmurra infant x3.
... You are filling in a pax manifest (Wunungmurra G, Wunungmurra S...) then you get to the outstation worker that is coming along for the day and think, Hmm, Rory McLenihan, thats an unusual name!
... You are filling in a pax manifest and don't have time for all the stuffing around so today you will write down the names of five AFL players. Yesterday it was English cricketers, tomorrow it will be formula one drivers names.
... When you go to the barge landing on Friday afternoon even though you don't have any freight arriving, you just don't want to miss the biggest social event of the week.
... You think paying $20 for a fried chook at the community takeaway is reasonable. After all it comes with a baked potato.
... You discuss over beers with your colleagues which Darwin funeral director has the best coffins to fit in C206's.
... You and your colleagues watch the new guy carefully and play it cool for a week or two.... he used to be an instructor.
Last edited by ITCZ; 2nd Oct 2004 at 17:42.
Join Date: Apr 2004
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When you eat steak three times a day
When you have to find that drum of fuel in the “far corner” of that 300,00 HA paddock
When your not phased when one of the ringers paints another western star truck logo over the static source.
When you have a roadfront parking space next to the roadtrains at the barkley roadhouse
When you get nervous climbing through 1000 ft on the way to town.
When you “reckon I might just make it over the fence at the end of the cooler yard” if you remove the survival water and those 3 pairs of chain tongs from between the seats.
When Bundy rum doesn’t give you a hangover any more.
When you know it takes 72 seconds to cook a meat pie on the manifold of a 600hp Detroit diesel on the station Kenworth.
When you have to find that drum of fuel in the “far corner” of that 300,00 HA paddock
When your not phased when one of the ringers paints another western star truck logo over the static source.
When you have a roadfront parking space next to the roadtrains at the barkley roadhouse
When you get nervous climbing through 1000 ft on the way to town.
When you “reckon I might just make it over the fence at the end of the cooler yard” if you remove the survival water and those 3 pairs of chain tongs from between the seats.
When Bundy rum doesn’t give you a hangover any more.
When you know it takes 72 seconds to cook a meat pie on the manifold of a 600hp Detroit diesel on the station Kenworth.
Join Date: Jul 2004
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You know you're a bush pilot when:
...it is your responsibility to maintain the airstrip as well as flying the plane (Many hours spent picking up broken fibreglass cones that had blown all over the horse paddock after dust storms. And rolling and dragging the airstrip. And cutting down the prickly bush that was growing under the windsock and ripping the windsock to shreds)
...a usual work day involves a substantial amount of gardening or cooking, serviceing the generators or vehicles, mincing meat or yardwork
...XXXX gold costs $42 per carton or more
...washing your work clothes sometimes means filling your pockets with washing powder and having a dip in the waterhole
...the headstockman calls you on the UHF and says "the strip is buggered, but I've found a really good place for you to land"
...a weekend back on the East coast means catching the mailtruck to Winton, overnighting at the mailman's house, catching the bus out of Winton the next day and spending the night on the bus to arrive home the following day... only to spend 2 days at home and then do the reverse
...having to roll your swag at 4am every morning out at camp otherwise it would be full of red dust and sand or a brown snake
...after the 7th day in a row of starting work at 4am and finishing work at 8:30pm you casually mention to the manager that you've hit 1000 hours (more like 800 actually) and that you feel a wee bit tired
...while drinking your first beer at a large social function youare amused by a certain cook's foul language and graphic description of how she never shaves her legs and can plait her underarm and leg hair... and she still gets laid
...your mate drives up to visit you when your in town for the weekend and drives through the town and out the other side before he realises that those couple of houses back there must have been the town
...smoko means landing the plane on the road next to a small sanddune, taxiing up to camp, then squatting around a fire with a black coffee (with a little powdered milk if you are lucky), and lots of sugar to mask the taste of dust and dried cattle **** grit in your teeth
...it is your responsibility to maintain the airstrip as well as flying the plane (Many hours spent picking up broken fibreglass cones that had blown all over the horse paddock after dust storms. And rolling and dragging the airstrip. And cutting down the prickly bush that was growing under the windsock and ripping the windsock to shreds)
...a usual work day involves a substantial amount of gardening or cooking, serviceing the generators or vehicles, mincing meat or yardwork
...XXXX gold costs $42 per carton or more
...washing your work clothes sometimes means filling your pockets with washing powder and having a dip in the waterhole
...the headstockman calls you on the UHF and says "the strip is buggered, but I've found a really good place for you to land"
...a weekend back on the East coast means catching the mailtruck to Winton, overnighting at the mailman's house, catching the bus out of Winton the next day and spending the night on the bus to arrive home the following day... only to spend 2 days at home and then do the reverse
...having to roll your swag at 4am every morning out at camp otherwise it would be full of red dust and sand or a brown snake
...after the 7th day in a row of starting work at 4am and finishing work at 8:30pm you casually mention to the manager that you've hit 1000 hours (more like 800 actually) and that you feel a wee bit tired
...while drinking your first beer at a large social function youare amused by a certain cook's foul language and graphic description of how she never shaves her legs and can plait her underarm and leg hair... and she still gets laid
...your mate drives up to visit you when your in town for the weekend and drives through the town and out the other side before he realises that those couple of houses back there must have been the town
...smoko means landing the plane on the road next to a small sanddune, taxiing up to camp, then squatting around a fire with a black coffee (with a little powdered milk if you are lucky), and lots of sugar to mask the taste of dust and dried cattle **** grit in your teeth
Grandpa Aerotart
In PNG when I didn't understand the mumbled reply to "Naim bilong yu" I just put Mr Ken Acker, Mrs Ken Acker and bebe Ken Acker...The Family Rock Arpee travelled a lot too.
On a serious note the villagers often were named after things or people they had heard about...there are many Micheal Jacksons in PNG...I once carried Pilatus Porter and his family, including Bebe Pilatus Porter. My girlfriend was a teacher and the mother of one of her students had a baby and proudly announced she was to be named after her..."oh thankyou, how lovely"..."Yes we name it Miss Duckworth!" "Oh no just Joanne" "Oh dat's betta...yes we call it Miss Duckworth Joanne"....and that's what the Bebe was christianed
She'd be about 18 by now...so if any of you chaps are flying around Chimbu and carry her you'll know where the name came from. Actually she's probably married with 4 kids by now...so her name is Mr's Duckworth Joanne Arpee
On a serious note the villagers often were named after things or people they had heard about...there are many Micheal Jacksons in PNG...I once carried Pilatus Porter and his family, including Bebe Pilatus Porter. My girlfriend was a teacher and the mother of one of her students had a baby and proudly announced she was to be named after her..."oh thankyou, how lovely"..."Yes we name it Miss Duckworth!" "Oh no just Joanne" "Oh dat's betta...yes we call it Miss Duckworth Joanne"....and that's what the Bebe was christianed
She'd be about 18 by now...so if any of you chaps are flying around Chimbu and carry her you'll know where the name came from. Actually she's probably married with 4 kids by now...so her name is Mr's Duckworth Joanne Arpee
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Darwin, Orstrailya
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........
When the plane smells a bit of spilt rum (ringers), a bit like dingo bait (ringers), a bit like cow s**t (ringers), and a very little bit like a new car (magic tree air freshner on pilots fresh air vent!)
When you put the UHF on scan on the way into Mt Isa and listen to everything going on for a 300k radius around you. (a few interesting conversations!)
When you helped to build your own hangar, layed out every white marker on the strip, and fix up every break in the fence where a cow, horse, or motorbike (sometimes with the ringer still riding) has gone through it.
When you need more take off performance, you grab a chainsaw, hop on the grader and lengthen the strip.
While you've got the machinery you pull out an old fence post that stands precariously close to the strip.
Get screamed at for removing the post (apparently they were going to use it again some day?)
When the plane smells a bit of spilt rum (ringers), a bit like dingo bait (ringers), a bit like cow s**t (ringers), and a very little bit like a new car (magic tree air freshner on pilots fresh air vent!)
When you put the UHF on scan on the way into Mt Isa and listen to everything going on for a 300k radius around you. (a few interesting conversations!)
When you helped to build your own hangar, layed out every white marker on the strip, and fix up every break in the fence where a cow, horse, or motorbike (sometimes with the ringer still riding) has gone through it.
When you need more take off performance, you grab a chainsaw, hop on the grader and lengthen the strip.
While you've got the machinery you pull out an old fence post that stands precariously close to the strip.
Get screamed at for removing the post (apparently they were going to use it again some day?)
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
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Well not quite bush pilot,
but you know you're a JUMP pilot when...
...You don't know the BEW or MTOW of your aircraft but that's never bothered you
...You can be on the ground from F120 in less than 6 minutes from overhead the field
...You turn finals at 2000ft with standard spacing and still make the keys at 80kts
...You blame your heavily overladen aircraft's lack of climbing ability on mountain waves and everyone agrees
...The stall buzzer goes off when you rotate at 70kts in a 182
...You wonder why your aircraft feels sluggish only to discover there are sill two skydivers hanging from the wingtip
...Fuel starvation is only a serious issue just after takeoff
...The boss tells you your emerg chute "might open" but wouldn't want to test it
but you know you're a JUMP pilot when...
...You don't know the BEW or MTOW of your aircraft but that's never bothered you
...You can be on the ground from F120 in less than 6 minutes from overhead the field
...You turn finals at 2000ft with standard spacing and still make the keys at 80kts
...You blame your heavily overladen aircraft's lack of climbing ability on mountain waves and everyone agrees
...The stall buzzer goes off when you rotate at 70kts in a 182
...You wonder why your aircraft feels sluggish only to discover there are sill two skydivers hanging from the wingtip
...Fuel starvation is only a serious issue just after takeoff
...The boss tells you your emerg chute "might open" but wouldn't want to test it
Bugsmasherdriverandjediknite
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Bai, mi go long hap na kisim sampla samting.
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The oil temp is in the green........BEFORE you start the engine.
There is no temp line on the "P" chart for the overnight minimum of your airfield, nevermind the temp for your lunchtime sortie to check troughs and tanks.
The green stains on the leading edge are permanent.
You can change out a wingtip nav light,....... mount, glass and globe in under three minutes.
You actually have spare nav light mounts, glass and globes in the aircraft.
In over 5000 hrs in the same aircraft, you still have never pulled the knob with carb heat written under it........and don't know if its actually connected to anything.
You have done more night landings without a landing light than with one.
You can entertain yourself on a three hour ferry flight, by trying to work out a PNR for that particular flight.
you aircleaner element is cactus after three landings and you become quite proficient at washing them and useing motorbike element oil and avgas to reserect it.
If something falls off the aircraft, and it still flys, you chuck it in the back for the LAME to put back on one day.
You have patches on the patches on your tubes.
You actually know what breed of ride on lawn mower has the same size tubes as your aircraft.
when its smoko time and your close to the road, you land and taxi into a parking bay, to await the arrival of the inevitable old couple with the 4X4 and caravan, and listen intently as they ask silly questions and tell you of their aviating experiances, becuase you know the old duck will eventually make you a cup of tea and give you large pieces of home made cake.
You can instruct the local non reflectives that are working on the ground in their own language.
A small goat track looks like an international runway, and you can place a wheel excactly on the small flat bit between the two big rocks, and then bounce it just enough to clear the rock, and keep the other wheel in the air until just before you get to the big blue bush.
You can land next to a fence and cant open the door coz its to close to the fence...............and its all ops normal.
When heading into maintanace, you can cross the runway at curcuit height at the threshold, and drive downwind, base and final without being any further than 50 meters from it, and then be stopped on the threashold, and needing to power up to get to the taxiway 100 meters further on.
There is no temp line on the "P" chart for the overnight minimum of your airfield, nevermind the temp for your lunchtime sortie to check troughs and tanks.
The green stains on the leading edge are permanent.
You can change out a wingtip nav light,....... mount, glass and globe in under three minutes.
You actually have spare nav light mounts, glass and globes in the aircraft.
In over 5000 hrs in the same aircraft, you still have never pulled the knob with carb heat written under it........and don't know if its actually connected to anything.
You have done more night landings without a landing light than with one.
You can entertain yourself on a three hour ferry flight, by trying to work out a PNR for that particular flight.
you aircleaner element is cactus after three landings and you become quite proficient at washing them and useing motorbike element oil and avgas to reserect it.
If something falls off the aircraft, and it still flys, you chuck it in the back for the LAME to put back on one day.
You have patches on the patches on your tubes.
You actually know what breed of ride on lawn mower has the same size tubes as your aircraft.
when its smoko time and your close to the road, you land and taxi into a parking bay, to await the arrival of the inevitable old couple with the 4X4 and caravan, and listen intently as they ask silly questions and tell you of their aviating experiances, becuase you know the old duck will eventually make you a cup of tea and give you large pieces of home made cake.
You can instruct the local non reflectives that are working on the ground in their own language.
A small goat track looks like an international runway, and you can place a wheel excactly on the small flat bit between the two big rocks, and then bounce it just enough to clear the rock, and keep the other wheel in the air until just before you get to the big blue bush.
You can land next to a fence and cant open the door coz its to close to the fence...............and its all ops normal.
When heading into maintanace, you can cross the runway at curcuit height at the threshold, and drive downwind, base and final without being any further than 50 meters from it, and then be stopped on the threashold, and needing to power up to get to the taxiway 100 meters further on.
Join Date: Jul 2004
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I climb into the aircraft and the temperature gauge reads 60 degrees. I remove the windscreen shade, start the engine and begin to taxi and the needle drops to 50 degrees C... whew so much cooler!
bk.
ringerfromthetopend: I don't know nick murray, but I certainly know Davenport
bk.
ringerfromthetopend: I don't know nick murray, but I certainly know Davenport
BK, it never gets that hot up there..... but you guys get the pretty white clouds to look at the inside of instead of the ugly red ones we get.... 
Just kidding....
BTW, the cattledog is doing well....
You know you're a bushpilot when....
* You time your approach so as to slide in between two willy willys hanging around the threshold....
* You mutter things about the curvature of the earth when your client turns up with 500kg of "essential" items that must go....
* You taxy IFR with a coffin. Your call is "2 POB - one warm, one cold"
* You slide over the desert and don't need the GPS or charts, as you've seen that creek/rockpile/saltlake so many times now it is like you're driving along HWY 1 instead of navigating over virtually featureless terrain that would have scared you witless not all that long ago.
My 2c.
OpsN.
Just kidding....
BTW, the cattledog is doing well....
You know you're a bushpilot when....
* You time your approach so as to slide in between two willy willys hanging around the threshold....
* You mutter things about the curvature of the earth when your client turns up with 500kg of "essential" items that must go....
* You taxy IFR with a coffin. Your call is "2 POB - one warm, one cold"
* You slide over the desert and don't need the GPS or charts, as you've seen that creek/rockpile/saltlake so many times now it is like you're driving along HWY 1 instead of navigating over virtually featureless terrain that would have scared you witless not all that long ago.
My 2c.
OpsN.