Crm
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Australia
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Crm
Hypothetically of course, what is the required procedure when one accidentally "lets Fluffy off the chain" in-flight?
Should you:
(a) say "Was that you?" in an accusatory tone
(b) Open all vents and hope no-one notices (dead givaway)
(c) Ask flight attendant to come up to flightdeck then blame it on her?
(d) Perform SMOKE/FUMES REMOVAL checklist?
I'm sure we've all been there!
Should you:
(a) say "Was that you?" in an accusatory tone
(b) Open all vents and hope no-one notices (dead givaway)
(c) Ask flight attendant to come up to flightdeck then blame it on her?
(d) Perform SMOKE/FUMES REMOVAL checklist?
I'm sure we've all been there!
Last edited by VH-ELP; 13th Jul 2004 at 11:53.
Not really appropriate when flying, but this one works a treat in a car.
Wait about 5 sec after dropping a clanger, and then ask "Can anyone smell smoke?" If you time it properly all unsuspecting passengers get a good nostril full of @rse. Excellent
Wait about 5 sec after dropping a clanger, and then ask "Can anyone smell smoke?" If you time it properly all unsuspecting passengers get a good nostril full of @rse. Excellent
Phew something sphinx!
Just as they catch "wind" of it (love the pun) look at them directly in the eye with a straight face and say..
"It was you"
Alternatively enlighten them with and interesting fact.... for example, when a person farts, millions of bum particles (i believe thats the technical expression) are ejected from the arse at over 100 km/hr
"It was you"
Alternatively enlighten them with and interesting fact.... for example, when a person farts, millions of bum particles (i believe thats the technical expression) are ejected from the arse at over 100 km/hr
PPRuNe Handmaiden
A company in Queensland had a method of dealing with it. Whoever stepped on a duck immediately grabbed the non offenders' pen so s/he couldn't be written up.
Join Date: Jun 2004
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Biatch
I believe the correct terminology is "poo particles".
I think the procedure in the event of highly flammable airbourne poo particle release is:
1. Battery Switch- OFF
2. Generator Switches - TRIP and release
3. Standby Power Switch- OFF
4. Vents- Closed(to avoid drafts)
5. Bleed Air Heat Switch- OFF
6. Fire Extinguisher- ACTIVATE
>>>WARNING<<<
Occupants should use oxygen masks until poo particles clear. After discharging an extinguisher within a closed cabin, ventilate the cabin.
7. Land the airplane as soon as possible.
LNO
I think the procedure in the event of highly flammable airbourne poo particle release is:
1. Battery Switch- OFF
2. Generator Switches - TRIP and release
3. Standby Power Switch- OFF
4. Vents- Closed(to avoid drafts)
5. Bleed Air Heat Switch- OFF
6. Fire Extinguisher- ACTIVATE
>>>WARNING<<<
Occupants should use oxygen masks until poo particles clear. After discharging an extinguisher within a closed cabin, ventilate the cabin.
7. Land the airplane as soon as possible.
LNO
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Perth WA
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Food for thought
Not a FUNNY story but an intersting development all the same, in the FART of our lives that just has to happen.
The story as told by a mate who is a copper in WA.
A male copper was discussing the finer parts of communications with an Comms operator in the Perth Control center(police one that is) and he either accidentily, or maybe not, let Fluffy of the Chain.
He then apparently left the scence (Decamped for our police friends). The Female comms operator, did take offence at this drop and run tactic, as that gender are known to do. So she complained to her boss, and commenced formal action against the OFFENDER and the Poilce service.
Result was a large sum of money around the $50,000 to the Plod for her troubles. The judgement goes something like this ;
" As constable (careless) did not appoligise or make warning of the release of the smells resultant of digesgion, he failed to be curtious and may have resulted in the operator leaving her busy console, therefore jepordising police operations"
Like I said the story may be silightly off, but the moral is solid. This copper did recive a payout for bieng subjected to anothers FART.
Like I said food for thought (Digested or Not)
The story as told by a mate who is a copper in WA.
A male copper was discussing the finer parts of communications with an Comms operator in the Perth Control center(police one that is) and he either accidentily, or maybe not, let Fluffy of the Chain.
He then apparently left the scence (Decamped for our police friends). The Female comms operator, did take offence at this drop and run tactic, as that gender are known to do. So she complained to her boss, and commenced formal action against the OFFENDER and the Poilce service.
Result was a large sum of money around the $50,000 to the Plod for her troubles. The judgement goes something like this ;
" As constable (careless) did not appoligise or make warning of the release of the smells resultant of digesgion, he failed to be curtious and may have resulted in the operator leaving her busy console, therefore jepordising police operations"
Like I said the story may be silightly off, but the moral is solid. This copper did recive a payout for bieng subjected to anothers FART.
Like I said food for thought (Digested or Not)
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I prefer the old
" Having said that, allow me to say this .........."
or a more subtle attack is to direct ones air vent towards the other side of the cockpit, and let physics do the rest!!
" Having said that, allow me to say this .........."
or a more subtle attack is to direct ones air vent towards the other side of the cockpit, and let physics do the rest!!
Join Date: Dec 2001
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A darling FO (that is a very good friend of mine), called me up from the flight deck and said :
"We think the captain has Giardia, can you come up and give us your medical opinion." ( I nursed before I flew!)
"We think the captain has Giardia, can you come up and give us your medical opinion." ( I nursed before I flew!)
