Moresby Gliding Club
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Moresby Gliding Club
Just going through my PNG memories... some are censored. But the following poem was written after an "incident" where a Kingair carrying Papua New Guinea's CAA staff ran out of noise. Sharpie knows the author and most likely can put names to all the inferrences.
Woomera if this is out of place please remove it.
The Moresby Gliding Club
A group of young enthusiasts
Met at a local pub
To talk about the common love
“The Moresby Gliding Club”
Their membership was very low
The running costs were high
They needed some dramatic act
To catch the public eye
“I’ve got a good idea” says one
“Been planning it all day
I’ll try it out tomorrow
When coming back from Lae”
The flight to Lae was wonderful
The aircraft right on track
They had no reason to suspect
The drama coming back
Their business done–they climbed aboard
One had a bulging billum
The captain chuckled to himself
“The last ten minutes will thrill ’em
This trick will have no impact
If I fill her up with fuel
I’ll take enough for Top of Climb
And glide in from Mount Yule”
They flew along as smooth as silk
With not a single jolt
But as they got to Galley Reach
Both donks ground to a halt
The Captain said “Thank Christ they’ve stopped
They make a dreadful din
I’ll now complete the exercise
And glide this b@stard in”
A glider is a lovely thing
You see them everywhere
Some metal – others wood and glue
But never a KINGAIR
With noses flat against the glass
The victims watched in horror
And none of them had any doubt
They’d all be dead tomorra
He held her on the centre-line
He called the Tower and said
“For Christ sake make me number one
I’m landing straight ahead”
He put it down right on the “keys”
And made sure he was clear
Then smilingly he turned and said
“I think we need a beer”
“The Aero Club looks very nice
Looks like it’s just been painted”
But there was none to answer him
The bloody lot had fainted
Wes turned and looked him in the eye
He said “Thank Christ that’s ended
It really won’t surprise me
If your licence is suspended!”
“Those passengers we’ve got on board
Look like they’re in a trance
But now you must excuse me
‘Cos I think I’ve sh1t my pants”
When Joe Wal heard it on the phone
His hands flew to his head
His eyes stood out like organ stops
“Fcuk me” was all he said
But when he heard the details
Of this history making flight
His eyes lit up with interest
And he thought of it all night
For Joe had always longed to fly
Although it made him dizzy
But this bloke here could show him how
On days he wasn’t busy
So Joe signed up on the spot
They headed for the pub
Now Joe’s the latest member
Of the Moresby Gliding Club
Sir Jules picked up his phone and heard
A voice known far and wide
“This Grumman that arrives next month
- I wonder how they glide”
Em Tasol
Of course it's out of place - we won't have that frivolity here!!
And no, I'm not going to remove it!!
Woomera
Woomera if this is out of place please remove it.
The Moresby Gliding Club
A group of young enthusiasts
Met at a local pub
To talk about the common love
“The Moresby Gliding Club”
Their membership was very low
The running costs were high
They needed some dramatic act
To catch the public eye
“I’ve got a good idea” says one
“Been planning it all day
I’ll try it out tomorrow
When coming back from Lae”
The flight to Lae was wonderful
The aircraft right on track
They had no reason to suspect
The drama coming back
Their business done–they climbed aboard
One had a bulging billum
The captain chuckled to himself
“The last ten minutes will thrill ’em
This trick will have no impact
If I fill her up with fuel
I’ll take enough for Top of Climb
And glide in from Mount Yule”
They flew along as smooth as silk
With not a single jolt
But as they got to Galley Reach
Both donks ground to a halt
The Captain said “Thank Christ they’ve stopped
They make a dreadful din
I’ll now complete the exercise
And glide this b@stard in”
A glider is a lovely thing
You see them everywhere
Some metal – others wood and glue
But never a KINGAIR
With noses flat against the glass
The victims watched in horror
And none of them had any doubt
They’d all be dead tomorra
He held her on the centre-line
He called the Tower and said
“For Christ sake make me number one
I’m landing straight ahead”
He put it down right on the “keys”
And made sure he was clear
Then smilingly he turned and said
“I think we need a beer”
“The Aero Club looks very nice
Looks like it’s just been painted”
But there was none to answer him
The bloody lot had fainted
Wes turned and looked him in the eye
He said “Thank Christ that’s ended
It really won’t surprise me
If your licence is suspended!”
“Those passengers we’ve got on board
Look like they’re in a trance
But now you must excuse me
‘Cos I think I’ve sh1t my pants”
When Joe Wal heard it on the phone
His hands flew to his head
His eyes stood out like organ stops
“Fcuk me” was all he said
But when he heard the details
Of this history making flight
His eyes lit up with interest
And he thought of it all night
For Joe had always longed to fly
Although it made him dizzy
But this bloke here could show him how
On days he wasn’t busy
So Joe signed up on the spot
They headed for the pub
Now Joe’s the latest member
Of the Moresby Gliding Club
Sir Jules picked up his phone and heard
A voice known far and wide
“This Grumman that arrives next month
- I wonder how they glide”
Em Tasol
Of course it's out of place - we won't have that frivolity here!!
And no, I'm not going to remove it!!
Woomera
Last edited by Woomera; 3rd Jun 2004 at 08:33.
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BWAHAHAHA!!!!
Don't think you'll have too many probs with that one. What an interesting story
I reckon if you had made some reference to The Dance Of The Flaming @rseholes in there it would have rounded it off nicely
Love yer work!
Don't think you'll have too many probs with that one. What an interesting story
I reckon if you had made some reference to The Dance Of The Flaming @rseholes in there it would have rounded it off nicely
Love yer work!
Man Bilong Balus long PNG
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Location: Looking forward to returning to Japan soon but in the meantime continuing the never ending search for a bad bottle of Red!
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If memory serves me correctly, an oblique reference to the abovementioned incident is made in a somewhat hilarious song titled "Six hours to go (and I'm gonna make it home tonight)" sung to the tune 'six days on the road' that I heard in PNG years back.
Still like to get the words of that song one day but AY does'nt peruse these pages.
You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.
Still like to get the words of that song one day but AY does'nt peruse these pages.
You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.
Jarse. Not a story - totally based on fact. The names can not be revealed to protect the guilty, but P1 was the Office of Civil Aviation, Superintendent of Flying Operations and P2 (being endorsed) was a Flying Operations Inspector - those days, an Examiner of Airmen.
The aircraft was P2-PNG, the Government Super King Air 200.
It was the highlight of all conversations at the Temple of Aeros, Port Morbid, for weeks.
Eh, Windy, Sharpie?
The aircraft was P2-PNG, the Government Super King Air 200.
It was the highlight of all conversations at the Temple of Aeros, Port Morbid, for weeks.
Eh, Windy, Sharpie?
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Torres
Tru tok. I was the (rather surprised) tower guy that day 
Another amusing and entertaining poem from the pen of DD.
Not so well known is the fact that there was almost a very different ending to the story. When he busted his assigned level at 30 miles P2-PNG came very close to cleaning up an F28 outbound on the localiser .
They also still owe me new a pair of underpants.
Another amusing and entertaining poem from the pen of DD.
Not so well known is the fact that there was almost a very different ending to the story. When he busted his assigned level at 30 miles P2-PNG came very close to cleaning up an F28 outbound on the localiser .
They also still owe me new a pair of underpants.
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Yes it's tru tok all right.
Not so well known is the Affiliated Moitaka Gliding Club, started after Fingers blew a pot on a C206 and frightened the locals witless. (Still possible in those days)
Chimbu Chuckles and I became life members after an embarrassing episode regarding fuel systems and a Cessna 185.
The aircon fan up front stopped and we started to sweat.!
We hit a wire on the way down and got ourselves on the Telly that evening. Charlie definitely did a deal with the devil and saved us for another day.! The Frenchman was NOT amused.!
Not so well known is the Affiliated Moitaka Gliding Club, started after Fingers blew a pot on a C206 and frightened the locals witless. (Still possible in those days)
Chimbu Chuckles and I became life members after an embarrassing episode regarding fuel systems and a Cessna 185.
The aircon fan up front stopped and we started to sweat.!
We hit a wire on the way down and got ourselves on the Telly that evening. Charlie definitely did a deal with the devil and saved us for another day.! The Frenchman was NOT amused.!
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What a funny and topical magazine!!
I understand that the POM library has a complete set of Black and White, but are not allowed to show them other than for "research"
I understand that the POM library has a complete set of Black and White, but are not allowed to show them other than for "research"
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Hey Paul, you never told me you were a backseat observer on that fatefull flight. would have been good conversation when you were doing my GFPT flight test and P68 endo. no wonder I couldn't make you sweat. 
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I founded the Gulf of Papua Gliding Club, on an otherwise fine Saturday morning in October, 1987. At the Aero Club reunion in 2000, that event earned me the so-called Johnny Weissmuller Award for swimming faster than the sharks... 
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Regret that a) I do not qualify being an ex Pixie, and b) Mrs. Taildragger tells me that I have had my trip for this year. Chuckles and I however, had our own quiet reunion in the yook a few weeks ago.
He is a good boy these days since he started to fly the electric aeryplanes. Certainly didn't recognise his liver since he moderated the grog. Trutok Chuckles.??
He is a good boy these days since he started to fly the electric aeryplanes. Certainly didn't recognise his liver since he moderated the grog. Trutok Chuckles.??
Grandpa Aerotart
Ahh yes...a cane chair on the lawn in front of the White Waltham Aero Club watching Tigers, Yaks, Pitts and sundry Tincans doing their thing on a barmy spring pommy evening is a pleasant way to be introduced to WARM POMMY BEER
But you're right....my liver is forever gratefull that it's workload has greatly reduced in the last few years...doesn't mean it won't get a workout at the reunion next year BUT!!!!
Chuckles
But you're right....my liver is forever gratefull that it's workload has greatly reduced in the last few years...doesn't mean it won't get a workout at the reunion next year BUT!!!!
Chuckles
Grandpa Aerotart
OOPS
Don't I feel like a barmy wite hanfuk
Chuckles
PS. Reference excessive drinking and BSing...within the context of a Talair pissup wot allows Douglas drivas....could you actually define excessive
Don't I feel like a barmy wite hanfuk
Chuckles
PS. Reference excessive drinking and BSing...within the context of a Talair pissup wot allows Douglas drivas....could you actually define excessive
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Of course there was the Sequel ...................
THE SEQUEL
Now the GII is a racy craft
That really takes some knowing
With power controls and warning lights
Some flashing, others glowing
How well it glides we still can’t say
We haven’t tried that yet
But our entry into Brisbane
Is one we’ll not forget
Skydrol spraying wildly
Across the Queensland plains
The locals dodging madly
To avoid its burns and stains
Towards the runway our skipper aimed it
Sweat upon his brow
And he was heard to mutter
‘We’d be better on a plow’
And with a mighty wallop
We made contact with the strip
Then someone grabbed the ‘Tee’ bar
You could hear the rubber rip
Mid smoke and flying pieces
The four wheels stopped as one
And we skidded off the runway
With much washing to be done!
Cplane.
I can't reply to your email. Your email is "bouncing" and your PM's are turned off.
Either send me your correct email address or turn your PMs on.
Later: Problem solved - check your email and update your PPRuNe profile!!!
Woomera
Thanks Woomera! much appreciated.
THE SEQUEL
Now the GII is a racy craft
That really takes some knowing
With power controls and warning lights
Some flashing, others glowing
How well it glides we still can’t say
We haven’t tried that yet
But our entry into Brisbane
Is one we’ll not forget
Skydrol spraying wildly
Across the Queensland plains
The locals dodging madly
To avoid its burns and stains
Towards the runway our skipper aimed it
Sweat upon his brow
And he was heard to mutter
‘We’d be better on a plow’
And with a mighty wallop
We made contact with the strip
Then someone grabbed the ‘Tee’ bar
You could hear the rubber rip
Mid smoke and flying pieces
The four wheels stopped as one
And we skidded off the runway
With much washing to be done!
Cplane.
I can't reply to your email. Your email is "bouncing" and your PM's are turned off.
Either send me your correct email address or turn your PMs on.
Later: Problem solved - check your email and update your PPRuNe profile!!!
Woomera
Thanks Woomera! much appreciated.
Last edited by Cplane; 9th Jun 2004 at 02:06.
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Was that at Brisso or was it Ozexpat doing a short-fielder at Jacksons?
I do not know if the wiseguy will attend the talair 'do'. Only time will tell.
What about John Ironsides, Gary Honour, Peter Griffith, David Niven, Mal Stewart, Peter Taunsell, Dick & Ken Broomhead, Hank Naber, Chuck Bartos, (Blinkie Walker, Ross McClernon, Peter Arnold) Mal Short, Ian Hull, Mal Douglas even Black Jack Walker, Bobby Gibbes and many many more.
I do not know if the wiseguy will attend the talair 'do'. Only time will tell.
What about John Ironsides, Gary Honour, Peter Griffith, David Niven, Mal Stewart, Peter Taunsell, Dick & Ken Broomhead, Hank Naber, Chuck Bartos, (Blinkie Walker, Ross McClernon, Peter Arnold) Mal Short, Ian Hull, Mal Douglas even Black Jack Walker, Bobby Gibbes and many many more.