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Moresby Gliding Club

Old 2nd Jun 2004, 08:33
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Location: Granite Belt, Australia
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Moresby Gliding Club

Just going through my PNG memories... some are censored. But the following poem was written after an "incident" where a Kingair carrying Papua New Guinea's CAA staff ran out of noise. Sharpie knows the author and most likely can put names to all the inferrences.

Woomera if this is out of place please remove it.

The Moresby Gliding Club

A group of young enthusiasts
Met at a local pub
To talk about the common love
“The Moresby Gliding Club”

Their membership was very low
The running costs were high
They needed some dramatic act
To catch the public eye

“I’ve got a good idea” says one
“Been planning it all day
I’ll try it out tomorrow
When coming back from Lae”

The flight to Lae was wonderful
The aircraft right on track
They had no reason to suspect
The drama coming back

Their business done–they climbed aboard
One had a bulging billum
The captain chuckled to himself
“The last ten minutes will thrill ’em

This trick will have no impact
If I fill her up with fuel
I’ll take enough for Top of Climb
And glide in from Mount Yule”

They flew along as smooth as silk
With not a single jolt
But as they got to Galley Reach
Both donks ground to a halt

The Captain said “Thank Christ they’ve stopped
They make a dreadful din
I’ll now complete the exercise
And glide this [email protected] in”

A glider is a lovely thing
You see them everywhere
Some metal – others wood and glue
But never a KINGAIR

With noses flat against the glass
The victims watched in horror
And none of them had any doubt
They’d all be dead tomorra

He held her on the centre-line
He called the Tower and said
“For Christ sake make me number one
I’m landing straight ahead”

He put it down right on the “keys”
And made sure he was clear
Then smilingly he turned and said
“I think we need a beer”

“The Aero Club looks very nice
Looks like it’s just been painted”
But there was none to answer him
The bloody lot had fainted

Wes turned and looked him in the eye
He said “Thank Christ that’s ended
It really won’t surprise me
If your licence is suspended!”

“Those passengers we’ve got on board
Look like they’re in a trance
But now you must excuse me
‘Cos I think I’ve sh1t my pants”

When Joe Wal heard it on the phone
His hands flew to his head
His eyes stood out like organ stops
“Fcuk me” was all he said

But when he heard the details
Of this history making flight
His eyes lit up with interest
And he thought of it all night

For Joe had always longed to fly
Although it made him dizzy
But this bloke here could show him how
On days he wasn’t busy

So Joe signed up on the spot
They headed for the pub
Now Joe’s the latest member
Of the Moresby Gliding Club

Sir Jules picked up his phone and heard
A voice known far and wide
“This Grumman that arrives next month
- I wonder how they glide”

Em Tasol

Of course it's out of place - we won't have that frivolity here!!

And no, I'm not going to remove it!!


Last edited by Woomera; 3rd Jun 2004 at 09:33.
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Old 2nd Jun 2004, 10:54
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Don't think you'll have too many probs with that one. What an interesting story

I reckon if you had made some reference to The Dance Of The Flaming @rseholes in there it would have rounded it off nicely

Love yer work!
Hugh Jarse is offline  
Old 2nd Jun 2004, 11:27
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Man Bilong Balus long PNG
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Location: Now officially on Life's scrap heap, now being an Age Pensioner and not liking it one little bit! I'd rather be flying but in the meantime still continuing the never ending search for a bad bottle of Red!
Age: 67
Posts: 2,755

If memory serves me correctly, an oblique reference to the abovementioned incident is made in a somewhat hilarious song titled "Six hours to go (and I'm gonna make it home tonight)" sung to the tune 'six days on the road' that I heard in PNG years back.
Still like to get the words of that song one day but AY does'nt peruse these pages.

You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.
Pinky the pilot is online now  
Old 2nd Jun 2004, 11:45
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Join Date: Jan 1999
Location: Queensland
Posts: 2,411
Jarse. Not a story - totally based on fact. The names can not be revealed to protect the guilty, but P1 was the Office of Civil Aviation, Superintendent of Flying Operations and P2 (being endorsed) was a Flying Operations Inspector - those days, an Examiner of Airmen.

The aircraft was P2-PNG, the Government Super King Air 200.

It was the highlight of all conversations at the Temple of Aeros, Port Morbid, for weeks.

Eh, Windy, Sharpie?
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Old 2nd Jun 2004, 12:19
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.. and yet he was such a quiet, unassuming fellow before he left Melbourne for PNG ...
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Old 2nd Jun 2004, 18:51
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Tru tok. I was the (rather surprised) tower guy that day

Another amusing and entertaining poem from the pen of DD.
Not so well known is the fact that there was almost a very different ending to the story. When he busted his assigned level at 30 miles P2-PNG came very close to cleaning up an F28 outbound on the localiser .
They also still owe me new a pair of underpants.
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Old 2nd Jun 2004, 23:39
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Yes it's tru tok all right.
Not so well known is the Affiliated Moitaka Gliding Club, started after Fingers blew a pot on a C206 and frightened the locals witless. (Still possible in those days)
Chimbu Chuckles and I became life members after an embarrassing episode regarding fuel systems and a Cessna 185.
The aircon fan up front stopped and we started to sweat.!
We hit a wire on the way down and got ourselves on the Telly that evening. Charlie definitely did a deal with the devil and saved us for another day.! The Frenchman was NOT amused.!
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Old 3rd Jun 2004, 02:07
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Which reminds me anyone hordeing copies of Black & White and prepared to copy em PM me .


BTW unless I'm wrong will the abovementioned glider pilot be going to the TAL re-union?
Old 3rd Jun 2004, 02:20
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What a funny and topical magazine!!

I understand that the POM library has a complete set of Black and White, but are not allowed to show them other than for "research"
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Old 3rd Jun 2004, 08:42
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Hey Paul, you never told me you were a backseat observer on that fatefull flight. would have been good conversation when you were doing my GFPT flight test and P68 endo. no wonder I couldn't make you sweat.
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Old 3rd Jun 2004, 09:05
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Red face

I founded the Gulf of Papua Gliding Club, on an otherwise fine Saturday morning in October, 1987. At the Aero Club reunion in 2000, that event earned me the so-called Johnny Weissmuller Award for swimming faster than the sharks...
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Old 3rd Jun 2004, 09:31
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They'd hardly get a feed off you OxExpat. Alcohol poisoning maybe, but hardly a square meal!

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Old 3rd Jun 2004, 13:37
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Grandpa Aerotart
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tinpis...if you're referring to me...yes I'll be there...come hell or high tension lines

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Old 3rd Jun 2004, 15:22
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Regret that a) I do not qualify being an ex Pixie, and b) Mrs. Taildragger tells me that I have had my trip for this year. Chuckles and I however, had our own quiet reunion in the yook a few weeks ago.
He is a good boy these days since he started to fly the electric aeryplanes. Certainly didn't recognise his liver since he moderated the grog. Trutok Chuckles.??
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Old 3rd Jun 2004, 17:59
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Grandpa Aerotart
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Ahh yes...a cane chair on the lawn in front of the White Waltham Aero Club watching Tigers, Yaks, Pitts and sundry Tincans doing their thing on a barmy spring pommy evening is a pleasant way to be introduced to WARM POMMY BEER

But you're liver is forever gratefull that it's workload has greatly reduced in the last few years...doesn't mean it won't get a workout at the reunion next year BUT!!!!

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Old 3rd Jun 2004, 22:55
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Shouldn't that be a BALMY pommy evening.?? Barmy means something else entirely.
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Old 4th Jun 2004, 02:02
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Chimbu I was actually referring to the pilot of the glider in the poyem.

I have no doubt you will be there,doubt I will tho, excessive drinking and bullshitting I fear.
Old 4th Jun 2004, 07:49
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Grandpa Aerotart
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Location: SWP
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Don't I feel like a barmy wite hanfuk


PS. Reference excessive drinking and BSing...within the context of a Talair pissup wot allows Douglas drivas....could you actually define excessive
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Old 4th Jun 2004, 13:29
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Of course there was the Sequel ...................


Now the GII is a racy craft
That really takes some knowing
With power controls and warning lights
Some flashing, others glowing

How well it glides we still can’t say
We haven’t tried that yet
But our entry into Brisbane
Is one we’ll not forget

Skydrol spraying wildly
Across the Queensland plains
The locals dodging madly
To avoid its burns and stains

Towards the runway our skipper aimed it
Sweat upon his brow
And he was heard to mutter
‘We’d be better on a plow’

And with a mighty wallop
We made contact with the strip
Then someone grabbed the ‘Tee’ bar
You could hear the rubber rip

Mid smoke and flying pieces
The four wheels stopped as one
And we skidded off the runway
With much washing to be done!


I can't reply to your email. Your email is "bouncing" and your PM's are turned off.

Either send me your correct email address or turn your PMs on.

Later: Problem solved - check your email and update your PPRuNe profile!!!


Thanks Woomera! much appreciated.

Last edited by Cplane; 9th Jun 2004 at 03:06.
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Old 5th Jun 2004, 09:37
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Was that at Brisso or was it Ozexpat doing a short-fielder at Jacksons?

I do not know if the wiseguy will attend the talair 'do'. Only time will tell.
What about John Ironsides, Gary Honour, Peter Griffith, David Niven, Mal Stewart, Peter Taunsell, Dick & Ken Broomhead, Hank Naber, Chuck Bartos, (Blinkie Walker, Ross McClernon, Peter Arnold) Mal Short, Ian Hull, Mal Douglas even Black Jack Walker, Bobby Gibbes and many many more.
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