Wanting to kill Baz Riley for being more of a nob than Steve Wright on the radio

A|R:

You'd better get all these down before Alzheimer's kicks in... :p

But you did dig up a few more for me...

Smells:-

1. The smell, (and oppressive heat/humidity), when they opened the door of the VC-10 in Belize.
2. The smell of my freshly washed and dried, (in Belize), clothes when I opened my holdall in the UK.
3. The smell of my arm past he elbow after mistaking a dead sheep for a rock while white water canoing on the Spey and trying to use it as a brake... :(
4. The smell of a certain WRAC attached to 8 Signals in Catterick that was so "fishy" I quit...
5. The smell of a block at Xmas in NI after a day and night's toga party that ended with a puking competition.
6. The smell of acrid sweat on troops that have been in the jungle two days or more
7. The smell of "clean" after having had the acrid sweat smell after 4 days in the jungle

Silly Buggers:-

1. Jamaica: Russian trade delegation staying in the same hotel. Many a happy few minutes as they waited for transport spent trying to confuse and confound their political "handlers", (babysitters), by getting close to them and trying to start conversations with the members of the delegation from multiple directions at the same time...:D
2. Nearly convincing the hooker in Raul's that the $5 watch on my wrist was really a $100 watch and getting laid and change... Failed... So I paid... :}
3. Being drunk on a sunday and doing parachute drills from the third floor of the temporary block we were assigned at Catterick Garrison prior to the move to Hullavington. Bruising my heel doing it and still suffering from it today.
4. Answering the Int. Cell phone at Aldergrove "Duuuhhh.... Intelligence..." when my OC called me one day.
5. Being called to his office and being "straightened out".
6. Being called to my OC's office 2 days later for the same offense!!! :}
7. Being told _not_ to aim at the sheep on the hills behind the butts only to watch a sheep "fall when hit" by someone down the line of shooters.
8. Hearing that all those sheep that fell over suddenly when we flew over that ridge near Faslane at extremely low level were, in fact, dead... (Wimps... :O )

Miscellaneous:

1. The T-shirt after the FI stating "That's what happens when you pull the Lion's tail"
2. Visiting Special Branch at Aldergrove just before Xmas and being taken to a huge room with kitchen-type cabinets all round the wall with red crosses on them. When they were opened they were all full of optics with all manner of booze.
3. Being forced to drink some Potchine (sp) made by a talented gent in Magherafelt(sp) that the SB allowed to keep making it as long as they got "theirs", (because it was unique tasting and not that raw sh1t most of it was), before I was allowed any booze from the "kitchen cabinets".
4. Being sh1t scared carrying a pint of it back to the mainland... but making it... :E
5. Seeing the _really_ small pile of ashes that remain when a SWB Landrover has "spontaneously combusted".
6. Watching a sheep come out from under the hulk of an old tank that is used on the 84mm "Charlie G" range when a live round is fired at it.

Nope... It was on the far side of the airfield. IIRC I only walked it twice... That was definitely the better of the two crossings.

You're young then.... :E

when i visited all FOUR sqadrons of tonkas at Laarbruch.

when i did a 30 hour flying scholarship for the total cost of £13.54

taking over the (name escapes me) dogfighting simulator at coninsgby for the day - the one which had the 2 inflatable domes complete with airlocks.
eating my first twinky (american confec.) at the USAF bowling alley at Brawdy

Being interviewed by some Wing Co. re careers advice at age 14 years. "When i said relax i didnt mean slouch boy!"

I remember when eating a Wham Bar would blow your taste buds and your ears simultaneously - and all for only 10p.


TFC

Buying tins of lighter fluid so that you could perform the ceremony of "burning the bedsprings" to get rid of the bedbugs in Masirah. Cadging empty tin cans from the mess, that could be filled with paraffin, one for each bed leg to stand in, to stop the ants climbing the legs. Tying chit chats to bed legs to keep the insect population down.

More smells...
The smell of Africa very early in the morning on the airfield at Eastleigh and seeing some of the most spectacular sunrises ever [Eastleigh being at 5000'or so]
The smell of Africa in the markets of Nairobi.
Saying to your 'girl-friend', "smile so I can see you"
Getting three people into the boot of a Wolseley 6/80 at Eastleigh to avoid paying at the Drive-in movie.
Being surprised at how cold Africa can be at night [altitude again].
Being asked by Ops to 'remove that gazelle' from the runway'.
The 'clear the runway' signal from Air Traffic, put into effect by said air trafficer yelling "Bang the gong" to an ancient African sitting by a CO2 cylinder suspended on a frame. It worked much better than the high -tech alarm bell they replaced him with!
The Hastings which bounced so high on landing it came down on the grass and continued across the bundu!
The speed with which the crew of a 58 Sqn Canberra vacated through the canopy after going cross-country at Eastleigh. The same by a Javelin crew at Tengah after departing the runway via that mossie ditch.
The speed at which the lineys departed an engine start fire on said Javelins after first trying to put it out with a beret.
Collecting a Javelin pilot walking along the road in Jurong after ejecting from his Javelin, and feeling sorry I couldn't meet his request for a smoke because I didn't.[It was his third ejection!].
Watching the air-flow over a Javelin wing on take-off, indicated by the moisture in the air.
The smell at Gong Kedah after torrential rain had just flattened our tent.
Watching "What's New Pussycat?" in reverse at Gong Kedah because we'd all seen it a few times..
Throwing empty Tiger cans at the vehicles which occasionally passed between the projector and the screen...

The Sally Army canteen at Waddo

The YMCA canteen at Catterick

The Mally at Gutersloh

Sandes Home at Catterick

Anybody notice a theme here?

dkh,

Thats a seperate thread in its own right!! :ok:

But here we go.

The Twig at Catterick,
The bowl at Greenham,
Lady L's at Akr, The Pickled Onion club, our bar.. the Soldier Blue (christ, there must have been dozens of bars thgere).
The Mally at Witt, Rugby club there on Thursday night too.
The Scorpion in Catterick.
Tea and toast in the cafe on Sunday morning in Catterick village.

Smells then. Cheers AA.. you might just be right. I'm leaving a link to this thread for my kids in my will.

• The smell of hot empty ammunition cases and wpns oil.
• Opening the back of a CVR(T) after being battoned down for a bit in summer with half a dozen troops, all of whom have been living on compo for x days.
• The inside of an NBC suit worn for a few days.
• Fresh sandbags.. Luvverly. :ok:
• The worse job and smell in the world. Unravelling wet cam nets.
• Mossie repellant.
• Fullers Earth.
• Butts and Abe's beer belch competitions in the back of the tank.
• Bac deo in Cyprus. Sweat smelt better than that Himmleresque concoction.
• The jungle after the rain.
• The quality of the light and air at Kinloss.

Phoning the SAR flt at Lossie for a surf report after they landed.

The SAR flt at Lossie pulling some doofus out of the Moray Firth who got caught in the rip at East and ended up clinging to a lobester pot about 1/2 a mile out. It made a great show from the Hopeman?? IIRC,

Getting attacked by Seals at Lossie who were surfing at the same time.

Sek Kong:

Shaffi's curry house - try one on a Friday after the food's been 'marinating' for a week:\

The Duck Farm

The Dog Section

Games nights in the Mess at HMS Tamar with the Aussies

Ned Kelly's

Taking an unofficial visit aboard the QE2:E

Chinese New Year

Waving any scrap of paper you happened to have (bus ticket etc) at the Gurkha on the gate when you forgot your 1250 - and he'd let you in

Finding that, no matter how trashed your room had got the night before, it was always immaculate in the morning, with your clothes laundered and put away...God bless the armah!

Being able to live like a king on fg off wages

Happy daze!!

Barrack blocks at RAF odiham where in heavy rain the light shades would fill up with water (On the Ground Floor)

Rooms were about 20 people partitioned into 2 bedspaces with wardrobes in the centre to form a corridor.........

Someone writing to Farmers weekly saying " I have a room XYZ in size, heated and well lit, how many pigs would you recommend keeping in the said room........

Answer published in Farmers Weekly was about 1/2 the number of number of troops installed in said room........

Copied and posted about the station, removed even quicker by SWO..

First experiance of Odiham straight from training, knocking on the hatch and been met by a really nice old gent who letting me in making me a nice cup of tea and enquired if I knew anything about Growing Tomato's ( SWO)

As an apprentice at Locking in 1966, when the dentist was an Air Cdre..

…when, in the early Seventies as the duty pilot at RAF Wyton, I watched as the first 8 aircraft to get airborne that morning were different types (not marks!) 6 of them were stationed there. In Squadron order:

Canberra (39 Sqn)
Varsity (51 Sqn)
Comet (51 Sqn)
Devon (207 Sqn)
Basset (207 Sqn)
Victor (543 Sqn)
JP (visitor)
Helicopter (fuel uplift)

9th November 1980:

Unusually, II Squadron had been moved in convoy to Germany for the annual NATO exercise rather than being dropped into Sennelager TA for the period. So that we kept our record of always jumping a drop was scheduled for this day at 1500hrs on West Wretham DZ in Yorkshire.

To a man the squadron all had the same idea and kit was forced into every crevice of the road party vehicles and our parachute containers were filled with booze and fags... :D

Beautiful jump... Bit of a rocky DZ but no injuries...90+ Rocks with sh1t eating grins are packing chutes and thinking how clever they are when the whisper comes down the DZ:-

"Customs!!!" :uhoh:

The gutsy amongst us wrapped the contraband in their chute and started to tab off the DZ. Others built cairns or buried the offending items. Vast quantities of petrol were expended returning to the DZ that night for people to try to find a bottle of Brandy or two they left out there. To this day I'm sure there is plenty of unclaimed contraband out there.

FL575
51 Squadron-- Varsity--70's I don't think so, never had them, 151 had a couple at Watton I believe,(precursor to 51) but that was late 50's early 60's.
Regards Den.

Ok, now I'm a tad confused. My log book says Yorkshire. We were told it was West Wretham. There is no doubt that the countryside was Yorkshire, (rough, rocky with lichens, hilly etc.), and bore no resemblance to the Thetford area, (STANTA). It wasn't too far from Catterick either... Maybe 45 minutes to an hour.

Hmmm... Most likely we were told the wrong name for the DZ... Now I wonder what it was...

.... dinghy drill consisted of throwing an inflated single seat liferaft into the sea at Tobruk Beach Club, filling it with beer, red wine and coke and towing it out to the wooden raft for a raft party. Occasionally shouting orders back to the beach bar such as "Hey - Luigi - 3 more buckets of ravioli please!"

Dennis, the II Sqn Parachute Jump Instructor, (PJI), in the late 70's/early 80's.

1. On my first ever balloon jump in front of II Sqn we reached 800' in the balloon over RAF Catterick, he leaned over the "door" to check the flags, called "Green", unlatched and stowed the "door" and said "Goodbye" as he jumped leaving me with my chin on the floor in front of three hairy arsed old hands. I was number one and had to self dispatch with them all watching... :uhoh:
2. A few weeks later he rode a bike out of the balloon, held it all the way to about 20' before dropping it and landing.
3. About a year later on the way up in a balloon car asking me if I wanted to "somersault". He then unhooked my static line from the anchor above us, pulled it all out of the pack, passed it over my shoulder, between my legs and back up to the anchor point. Quite the way to begin a descent... :D

Someone, (A|R?), mentioned runs with a Jerry can. A mutual "friend" of his and mine was know as Human Hater when he was my Flt Sgt on II Sqn.

1. He would send us round Hullavington's Peri-track, (1 1/2 miles), with two jerry cans of water. He could sit in his office and watch us almost all the way around. The "almost" was the key word. We discovered that if we sprinted out of the hangar we could empty the cans and appear in the expected place in about the right time and then at the end of the run we would disappear behind a hangar with a tap. Another sprint and some fast filling and you could appear to have not stopped... He never did work that one out!!! :D:D:D
2. When several troops were on his wrong side he would send us to MT for a 1/2 ton trailer. Upon our return he would send us to stores with the trailer for, (I think it was half a dozen - it totally filled the trailer), 12 x 12's with poles. He would then send us running around the peri-track with it... Very hard work...:{

Smells revisited:-

1. Cheese Possessed :ok:
2. The smell in the Schnellie after two weeks in the field.
3. Using CS gas as a decongestant when you have a cold.
4. That 1/2 second of panic between the realization that you just smelled the CS gas through your S10 and actually feeling the effect... :{
5. Wet cam nets seconded!!!!
6. Issue Mossie repellant seconded too..

Den,

A long time ago I know, but was not Varsity WJ911 used on 51 Sqn to train rear cabin crew?

I just seem to remember it somehow, but I might be wrong.

Somebody out there WILL know, I am sure

"Beware Of Overstretch" posters were plastered everywhere

Heh... My brother lives in Wan Chai now...

Does anyone remember The Speakeasy in Kowloon ?
Used to be run by a Brian Nolan from Liverpool.
Red Lips bar, Bedside Bar, White Hart pub ? :cool:
Bum boat back from HK island to Kowloon after Star Ferry had gone to bed ? :eek:
Detachments are not what they used to be.......

Rickshaw races from the Brit Club to Bugis St

The toilets in the centre of Bugis

Keema roti at the Tengah village macan stalls after a night in the General/Tengah bars

The shift of 8 bods on the early part of a night out paying to watch a 'dirty film' in downtown HongKong and ending up on the 6th floor of a block of flats watching a cine 8 movie in the bedroom with the chinamans family of ten sitting in the room next door

Downtown in HongKong after a mess dining in night still in mess dress and 5 of us getting back to mess just in time for saturday lunch drinks next day

Watching a Wessex trying to take off at Sharjah after we had just loaded the cabin with crates of beer and stim for the guys up country, blades fully coned up no lift, AQM throw off crates until the kite manages to lift off

Cant remember the number of times that we sang 'Leaving on a jet plane' at gozhome doos at the Sharjah YMCA, rugby, football, Kunja clubs

The open air cinema at Sharjah, must have seen a film every 2 nights during the tour there

Handed an SLR and 2 loaded mags for a weekend trip to Firq/Saiq, first time used no instruction

Back seat ride in a Jag t/bird along the East German border, amazed at the number of rocket sites along the way, and finding out that I would need a bit of practice to be a pilot

Deci rounabout parties and Sqn handover nights/fights in the Nuraghe Club

Punch up between an OC 'Crusader Sqn' Jags and a taking over OC NAS Harriers in the Deci O's block over the burning of said OC NAS hat and the use of the block piano. A good night had by all, plenty of Oxygen used prior to next days sorties.

When being on Nimrods meant eastabouts, westabouts, Mardets, dets to Lajes, Ascension, FIs, Capetown, all over US, Puerto Rico, Curacao, Greenwood, Summerside, Comox, Toronto, Gander, Kef, Bodo, Andoya, Nimes, Valkenberg, Nordhorn, Gib, Malta, Cyprus, Sardinia, Sigonella, Bahrein, Doha, Seeb, Diego Garcia, India, Columbo, Gan, Tengah, Butterworth, NZ and Australia to name a few + add in different air shows.

How on earth had I forgotten that?:confused::uhoh:

Gainsey, that proves you must have had a good time!

2/6 pence was the entrance fee last time time I went.
That price included a small glass and an empty small bottle.
The drill was to go to one of the stands pour a taster into your glass and when you find one you like , hand over your bottle to be filled with your
choice.Then a stroll round the park with a kebab until you needed a refill.
Always keep your last bottle for the taxi ride home.

Compo sausages.... lovely!

Compo sausages.... lovely! Followed by Cheese possessed! However I really remember buying hamburgers in the Bamboo Bay Restaurant in Regents Street West Belize City and feeding them to the catfish in the river under the verranda.

You know... I can't believe we have come this far into the thread and, having had the recurring theme of smells, not have had anyone mention some of the more "succulent" things about the Belize City Market.

Ahhh... The Belize City Market... It was something of a right of passage for each new chap. Here follows a few "snapshots"...

1. Flt Lt Jamie D***** walking towards the market meets a local gent coming the other way. Now, Jamie is a... errr... portly chap and the local is skinny, probably high on ganja and has the biggest boom box ever on his shoulder blasting reggae. Jamie, being the cool dude he is, flips a peace sign at the local and says "heeeey maaan...". The local stops, looks Jamie up and down and says "Heeey, it's the mighty whitey"... and walks on... :D
2. The navigator who lasted only about a minute in the market before saying "fcuk this", putting one hand over his mouth and running for the door.
3. Watching a lady order something and seeing the stall owner lift the "tablecloth", pull out a live turtle, cutting off a fin, wrapping it in yesterday's paper and putting the turtle back under the table... :yuk:
4. The fishmongers were by the river and would throw the fish guts etc. into it. The water would boil with the catfish but it was so black and dirty that you could never see them.
5. Looking at the meat market for the first time and wondering why the meat looked so dark until I realized that all you needed to do was to wave your hand over the meat and the flies would leave... :ok:
6. There was the time when there was the drunk in the meat market unconscious on the floor in a huge puddle of his own puke... and everyone just stepping over him.

Belize City had it's "fun times" too:-

1. The river was so dirty standing orders had you go directly to sick bay if you fell in. Andy "Pigpen" P**** fell in once I think and was four days in sick bay. But at the swing bridge on Saturdays the kids stand on the parapet of the bridge asking for quarters... It's customary to throw them in the river. The river that is so dirty you can't see the catfish feeding on the surface. The kid always comes up with the quarter.
2. Sqn Ldr B******'s wife is in Belize for a visit and we are all walking through the City to the Chateau Caribbean. A bum starts bothering us. Usually I wasn't particularly polite to them which was effective at getting rid of them but with the boss's missus there that was a bit of an issue. After 300 yards of his woffling on about how poor he was I said "You know, you're a fcuking annoying little cnut. Why don't you fcuk off?" in a voice I thought was sufficiently quiet that she wouldn't hear. The boss, who was right next to her says "Nice Ginge..." with sufficient sarcasm to let me know he wasn't pleased when Mrs. Boss pipes up "I don't know, I was wondering why he was being so bloody restrained"... Cracked me up... and the bum left :D
3. Sitting on the last bus home at the swing bridge waiting for it to leave and seeing a mate I went down with earlier in the day get on the bus as white as a sheet... He'd just been mugged at gunpoint...
4. Always wearing a long sleeved shirt when you go to town at night. Not because SSO's said you should for mossie protection but because you hide the majority of your cash in the rolled up sleeve and have only $5US in your pocket.
5. Having the local come alongside while you're wandering around asking if you want to buy some Black Coral jewellery which is rare and therefore illegal. They proceed to show you some beautiful, highly polished dolphins, angelfish, ships etc. in black coral. You feign interest in a particular piece and barter for a better price. When the price is fixed you pull out your lighter and ask if you can test it while looking in his eyes. See, they spend a lot of time and effort making these "Black Coral" artifacts out of the old black plastic steering wheels... If it doesn't melt it's the very valuable Black Coral. If it does... :=
6. Walking through the city alongside a concrete open sewer. The homes beside it hung over above the sewer and, though I hadn't noticed it at the time each house had a nice round hole over the sewer. Suddenly, right next to me was a big splash like a large fish jumping. I look up to see that largest female nether regions through the hole doing things I had never witnessed from that angle before nor wish to again... :eek:

PS: For the Puma crews partaking in this... Does anyone know where Flt Sgt Dick B*****, who was the crewman trainer in the mid to late 80's on 33 Sqn is/what happened to him...

Dick had a brainectomy at Cranwell. Took 20 mins- not much to remove.:ok:

CG

Oh Noooo.... So you are saying that the phrase:-

Dick B***** before he dicks you

has real meaning... :E

he now likes to be called Dickie. Knew him when he was just Bucko when we were both on the OCU in the early eighties. Fine chap:cool:

And still on 33 Sqn!

I remember in the Cinema At Airport Camp in Belize watching the uncut version of Dogs of War. When the Merc Climbs in and swims to the swing bridge to open it, the corus of groans and moans was deafing.:yuk:

Or rushing back from work to get out of camp as being out on the streets during "curfew" was "strickly forbidden". The army weren't allowed out of camp, the RAF spent the hours of the "curfew" locked in Raul's or one of the other dens of pleasure.:E

Noo... He left and came back, right??? Talk about getting in a rut.

I remember an ongoing argument with him over the effectiveness of a door mounted GPMG. The first time we fired on it was on a sea range so apart from the high number of splashes it really isn't all that impressive. He said that the door mount was a toy and I argued it's effectiveness from an ex-rock's experience and the fact you have the benefit of shooting down on your enemy. The second time we fired it was a sea range too... He still claimed it was a toy and I still tried to tell him that he wasn't seeing it's true power.

The last time we fired it was over land with fig. 11 and 12 targets. I'll never forget his face the first time we brought fire to bear over land. The rounds kicked up all manner of dirt, rocks and ripped the undergrowth to pieces. After a nice 20-30 round burst you could see the world of sh1t you had just brought down accurately on a small area around a target. But I remember most what he said, (simply because getting Dick to back down was almost as hard as getting me to... :O ). "You were right Ginge... that's quite impressive"...

Then there was the time he came bowling in the 33 crew room and says to the Sqn Ldr he's about to go flying with "Sir, is there something you know that I don't" only to be greeted with the reply "Dick, there's an awful lot I know that you don't"... :D

But the best one ever was in the Sgt's Mess at some "do". All the crewmen are stood in a circle with the customary beer. Some have their wives and Dick is there having just returned from 2 months in Belize. Niel E****'s wife Sue was pregnant when he left and had had the baby while he was in Belize. She's stood there in her best party frock across the circle from Dick who pipes up "So, Sue, when are you due?". That was a silence you could have cut with a knife. Everyone cringed and looked to see what her reaction would be. She started to scowl and looked at Neil and we all waited, ready to dive for cover. She promptly burst out laughing to the relief of all... Dick was always the luckiest... :)

He also did one of the greatest services to flying the Puma helicopter, he was the one who got a certain crewman that I had been through Biggin Hill, AAITC, Finningley, Shawbury and 240 OCU with thrown off Puma's. I remember thinking at Biggin Hill that if the Air Force is looking for him they won't want me... He was a continual screw-up but somehow he always managed to scrape through on second and third chances. Finally he got to Belize and Dick sat LHS on his check ride BGS. IIRC, just after taking off from Rideau to drive back to APC, (90 miles/45 mins), Dick and the Captain noted and dealt with a HYD1 warning, (the light remained on). When the a/c was but a few minutes from APC the crewman pipes up in his inimitable glasgow accent, (I wasn't there but I can still hear it), "Sir, we have a HYD1 caption". Dick had him on the next VC-10 home and I gather that once he got back to 230 Sqn he was shipped straight off to the C-130 OCU at Lyneham - never to be heard from or seen again.

Dick, I salute you... :D :D :D :D :D

I have some footage of (I have hours of footage, come to think of it) the 33 det in NE Turkey near the Kurdish border. Mick and I fired the GPMG in the door when they were evaluating a bag to collect ejected cases and links. MALM Saxby was the loadie and (I think) Stubbsy was flying. If anyone from 33 is here, who was there, that was the det when the storm hit the flying site and decimated it, and everyone came down with the !!!!s. Not so much the RAF Odiham det, more the RAF Imodium det.

Talking of which.. and a neat segue to boot;

I remember when we went through a phase of unstitching Stubbsy's flying clothing in Norway and restitching it a mm or so tighter at a time. I can't remember how long the diet lasted.

Sitting on the balcony at Changi Hospital after lights out listening to England win the World Cup on the BBC World Service and Matron not being amused when we all cheered at the end.
Playing Volleyball on the Court between the Officers and Sgts Mess at 2am Christmas morning at Kutching drinking Tiger
The Orderly Officer switching the floodlights out just after 2 am saying go to bed some of us want to sleep.
The deep Australian voice of W/C Blue Atherton the CO telling the O.O. to switch the F**King lights back on.

Airborne Aircrew,

DB still posts on here from time to time...

Class thread

Remember when Sky Shadow was 'secret' and bloody GR1 used to stooge up and down LFA13 being tracked by Bomb Scoring Kit.

I used to grab a copy of Air Clues and sit in bog while some poor SAC and Cpl used to lift the pen on the bomb plot table to the cry of "Signal on" (or something like it)

Used to go on for what felt like hours :)