"His justice consisted of a couple of black eyes and a split lip for you...."

Based on Jersey were you, GPMG?

"Not just depositing visiting cards but ensuring that they were printed in the correct (embossed) format. And then when and where to leave them suitably annotated with the cabalistic " ppc" the meaning of which I've happily forgotten."

And 'lady officers' had different sized cards . . . . (well, we did in 1957)

(and PPC was 'pour prendre conge' - can't get this machine to do the accent above the final 'e' - before departing)

You will all be pleased to learn, I'm sure, that we RNZAF people were issued a copy of Gp Capt Stradlings book at the "Charm School", but had to hand it back when we graduated, presumably having memorised the contents. We also had the cards, and the silver tray in the Mess to put them on.

On the subject of ID cards, I was in ANZUK for two years and initially occupied a MQ at 12 Hyde Park Gate , Seletar, at a time when the whole facility had been handed over to the Singapore Armed Forces. They had their own version of MPs on the gate, and were following the rules to the letter including saluting when I drove in and checking ID cards of dependents.

I discovered quite by accident one day that my wife, having lost her SAF Pass, was driving in and out by waving a Wellington City Library Card!

1950.RAF Aldergrove had a "Sandes Home" which served a full English Breakfast between the hours of 10am to 12am every Sunday.(For aircrew only) The two dear old ladies who ran it,referred to aircrew as White Swans,other denominations as Sparrows!!! I truly believe this was the start of my superiority problem!! Sadly it later burned down.

Bloody sparrows, betcha.

I have heard that the sale of these properties is being handled by a local legal firm whose head is an honorary mess member.


Allegedly.

Lot22
 

T'was the Auction Number painted on the side of the Portacabin awaiting sale. Then 'somebody' nicked the portacabin from the CAST dump and deposited it behind a well known helicopter squadron in the Falkland Islands.

Oh happy days!!!

Another bunch in Warwick Close up for grabs in this weeks 'Whinger' aka 'St Andrews Citizen' :ooh::ooh:

I can remember .....
 

Getting my hair cut before going to Swinderby - waste of time and money, as it turned out.
Travelling by train from Swinditz to Halton in No1 HD, feeling very chuffed, and being wished well by other passengers.
Being met at Wendover station by a creaky, ancient MT coach, and FS Wellbourne-Davies!
Said MT coach only just making it the hill to Halton.
Feeling shocked by the sight of all the 'prison-block' accomodation blocks.
That well known command just prior to marching down to workshops - 'Pick up your bags!'
The Halton Astra cinema - the shouts, jeers and cheers every time the VW Scirroco advert was shown.

Happy days!

Pull up a sandbag...
 

The HSE (happiness and sunshine excluders) didn't exsist, and you could change the duff fluorescent tube in y' office by using your desk/chair/muckers shoulders.:ok:

. . . the ships were made of wood and the men were made of steel.

Taxi's booked.

You could tell the nationality of the Frightning pilots by the jet eflux as they took off.

You shaved the inside of your trousers and tucked your beret under your epaulette. ;)

You could go to MT and get some help with the vehicle - not just referred to the RAC callout number.................:(

Arc

9 O'Clockers.........................usually a slab of Pussers hard and a box of biscuits.............and an urn of tea that tasted funny!

Probably judged to be too expensive and sadly canned...........as most good things are.

Going for supper in the airmens mess during Taceval and getting Tea, Sugar and milk for the Section for free :sad::sad:

Pull up a sandbag
 

when the Junta on 12 at Lossie had a DP LHD Ford Zephyr as the Juntamobile for runs to the boozer / chippy.

Standing on the sand whilst on guard duty at Muharraq shortly before it closed and getting a wave from the Hunter pilots as they taxied past......

RAF Khormaksar 1964 - 1966
 

Tiger testing a moonies watch in the Camel Club. 24 hr stn armed guards every 4 days. Getting the boll***ing of my life from the stn cdr for not standing up when he entered the guards' accom (now a MRAF (him, not me (yet)) and meeting him often now in a much more relaxed atmosphere. Just what was an 18 yo SAC with a .303, 5 rounds and a tattered Arabic phrase book supposed to do? Still remember the outstanding briefing by the rotund RAF Reg't FS: "If and when they come at you in long white flowing robes, run like hell!" Climbing Sham San to ensure you never returned to Aden (it worked). 8 Sqn dets to Rian, Salalah, Masirah and Bahrain and the outstanding beach barbies in Masirah. Checking days off your Chuff Chart and meeting moonies off the Britannia. They were crap times, but the comradeship was unforgettable. Finally visiting Dubai when it was a village!! Wish I'd bought a tent!!

ON

attn Krystal n chips
 

Eating fish n chips ( and guarding ... in theory ) under the wing of the first F-111 ro divert into Valley...the mag in the SLR was empty...the full mag was sealed in about 5 sheets of polythene wrapping....watching the Yank engineer who came to fix it sign another guys name in the log with the explanation "the :mad:has done it to me".

I recently had dinner with the pilot of that F-111, 1975 was long ago and far away.

I remember when..
 

The bar at Lindholme got a Kronerberg pump installed and we all scoffed at the thought of paying 30 pence for a pint of lager, no matter how nice it might be; as Skol & Harp were only 24 pence a pint. I also recall a big breasted girl who served the petrol in the Tyram Hall petrol station.

My 1250 was Blue and my son has one that looks like a credit card. His SWO was an LAC when I tought him the ropes in 1975.

My son brought home his station bike last month and it now lives in the garage.

Firing bird scaring cartridges out of the window of rover 1 at 60 mph.

Southern Radar, Northern Radar, CR787 Radar

A raincoat that would have smelled of mothballs if we'd had any mothballs,
When doing the weather check meant a trip to the SMC for a chit from the doctor to say I was fit to fly in a fast jet for another 6 months.

The Aircrew feeder at EGOV serving horse and chips 5 days a week.

Ross crashing the landrover into the MT Officers car, priceless.

Me & Geoff getting a car stuck on the beach at Treaddur Bay and leaving it there as the tide came in.

Cashing Cheques in Elmers for 2 quid with a week to go until pay day

Satco wonder aloud if he could stop the ceiling fan from turning...then everyone in local getting covered in dust and white tile fragments as the fan, firmly in big John's grasp, unscrewed itself from the roof!

Supervisor RC throwing a bolttle of beer which burst on the wall inches from the (sh1t3 spewing) head of the Dep satco at a games night

Stealing five crates of beer from the rugby club and stashing it in the boot of Ray's car and then getting a puncture on the way to the block. Whilst trying to change the tyre, the Rugby Club barman comes up behind us and shines his headlights into the boot as we try to find the jack. Is every Rugby Club barman a Snowdrop?

Swinderby when Jack Shiel was a Sgt (was a perfect gent SWO at Boulmer years later) and JC wasn't even an instructor yet.

Being really pissed, walking 2 miles to the tower to steal Rover 1 and then towing the fire practice Meteor along the Northern parallel only to be confronted by 2 snowdrops asking where we going.... as if we actually had a plan!

To quote Airpolice:

"Me & Geoff getting a car stuck on the beach at Treaddur Bay and leaving it there as the tide came in."


I recall being on an adventure training weekend whilst on EOT at Cranners. We went to Capel Curig. The PTIs manged to get a LWB Land Rover stuck in the sand at Black Rock Sands. My how we laughed as the tide came in. I believe that the official report referred to "Water in the carburettor" as the cause off the loss of a vehicle! (That wouldn't happen in this day and age!!!!!):sad:

As an aside most of us were very ill that weekend, not due to beer, but food poisoning!:eek:

Jerome the Dome.

Early 90s. Linton, piloty student-type chap, late night calls to Radio York. Usually pissed-up. Far funnier and wittier than incumbent DJ on the night shift. Held court on anything ranging from the situation in the Middle East to the colour of Sherpa Tensing's trousers.

I never heard the broadcasts, but know him from later. A thoroughly amusingly and nice fella.

I don't actually 'remember when', but somebody told me about it.

or would that be: amusing and nicely fella?

Can't say

Mmnice

..Do you let her in the house for meals?? :E

:D!!

Reminds me of some spotty holding officer wandering around with his Clearance Card. He kept asking who he needed to go and see to get the 'Stn Bicycle Store' entry signed off....

The Queen Bee was hugely pissed-off when we sent him over to her!

ahhh yes linton in the 90's with radio york...

"when in Rome fill the dome" I believe his catchphrase was:}

what's he doing now? - hope he went into standup cos he was a very funny man.

Apposite to another actice thread -

I wanted to get to UK for a mate's wedding.

1. Checked that aircraft was going to UK that weekend - it was.
2. Sweet talked planner to change the ferry allocation to our sqn - job done.
3. Programmed all crews in sqn for that weekend including our own - full programme, no wriggle room.
4. Except for our crew which had a very low priority programme.
5. Tasked to fly to UK - dropped our programme, picked up slot, now top programme priority - job done.

Visit mate, wedding off, cold feet.

Pull spare wedding invite from mess notice board out of pocket and leg it to town for plan B - job done.

We also had a passenger who was flying back to UK to organise his wedding and as he was a mate we were happy to give him a lift. Turned out that he had been planning to use the same aircraft until some sod reallocated it to our sqn :}.

I haven't confeseed yet. :)

'Oh for the likes of Masters & gentlemen like Ted Rose & Fred Reeves today!'
 

I recall sitting at the BPRT in the early 80s as Fred screamed obsceneties and hurled a set of FRCs at a student!

When "Photo Recce" was -
 

... hanging out of Sioux with the doors off holding a plastic polariod camera !
.. and you could get away with a navex that took you over the border to buy porn mags for the crew room.
:p

Instructors from the past
 

Yashin
It seems then that Fred never gave up on physical violence and threats as a means of instruction. On my first assessed trip at Topcliffe in the Varsity in 1963 he dropped into the seat beside mine and crashed the fire-axe on the desk and announced that mistakes in sending morse warranted a "clatter round the side of the bonedome wi' the flat of the axe". As a tremulous APO with nil experience I remembered my horse breaking uncle's advice to a 10 year old lad -"never let them see your scared, all you need is an air of confidence". I said "Mr Reeves put the fire-axe back in the rack, I don't respond well to threats and if you don't like it we can talk to the chief instructor at the end of the trip". I even remembered to make sure I said it on i/c so that the captain (Master Pilot Dale, god bless 'im) would hear it too. I was shaking in my boots, as I had no plan B if he persisted. Later, when it was my turn in the right seat to do some airways reporting, MP Dale looked across at me and gave a BIG wink. Phew!
The Ancient Mariner

Re: Jerome the Dome
 

It was the late 80's (I was there - said in a Max Boyce like voice!) and 'JJ' was hilarious. Too p!**ed to remember most of it, but he had us in stitches in the bar listening on the radio whilst he called from reception.

He rode a moped through the mess dressed as a fireman, complete with bell.

Rocked up to his Sqn arrival brief in sombrero and hawaiin shirt and shorts, Flt Cdr, 'Blaster Brooks', could hardly keep a straight face.

An all round top bloke, went rotary I think, hope he is well.

Lot 22
 

Dec 1986 78 Squadron MPA
The only "Function Room" available was the Aircrew crew room to which the GC's were allowed to enter on the weekly Quiz Night. There was a need for an All Ranks Facility.
The Town Hookers identified a solid looking Porta cabin in Town that was rigged for air portability, one evening they duly rigged it up and a Wocka turned up and took it away. The only problem was that this particular porta cabin was up for sale in a closed bid auction as was obvious when it arrived on the Squadron with "Lot 22" painted on the side, hence the name.
Rumour has it that a local had made a sealed bid for Lot 22 of £5 and the Sqdn had to match it.

Sqn tractor
 

Crashing the front one of the sqn tractors into the wall when renewing my 'manoeuvring close to aircraft' chit (forgot about the towing eye!).:uhoh:

Still got it signed though!!:O

When there was a Royal Auxiliary Air Force Station just on the edge of town and the RAAF Squadron part time NCO pilots flew front line jet fighters.


And six year old boys were allowed to just turn up and sit in one...

...when you could sell one of your four annual Travel Warrants for a fiver - and have enough money for a full tank of petrol - and non of your namby-pamby unleaded stuff, either!

...when you could Hitch-Hike in uniform (No. 1, No. 2 or even in a green plastic jacket) across the country and loads of people would stop as soon as they saw you get out of a car at a Traffic Island/Junction.

...when Fred Mulley (whatever happened to him?) gave us all 17% in one year's pay rise - and it wasn't enough!

Fred Mulley. Last seen asleep at RAF Finningley, did anybody bother to wake him?

When the AVM still had his own personal Meteor ... and set a guard on it when visiting a station to prevent it from being declared unairworthy .....

.. when I requested an ammunition resupply from a RQMS who asked me to surrender the empty cases by way of exchange. I told him they were lying around an enemy firing point in a Zone of Seperation and that if he really needed them that badly, he was welcome to go and get them himself. I had to write a statement to that effect, a copy of which I still have.

He got his own back - on New Years's Eve, he issued me with 26 sheets of toilet paper for the week.. apparantly, that was all I needed. I made every one count.. :hmm:.

When the AOC had an inflight engine failure in his personal Meteor, and the Fighter Command Accident summary said "We wonder that it dared".