Only ever heard the "cold as ...." variety myself. If I ever thought about it, I guess it's down to chill factor on broom sticks.

Don't think it could be from "tit for tat"=hat though Chicken Leg. As a fully paid up gor-blimey-luvva-duck-Landaner I've only ever heard "titfer" as a abbreviation rather than "tit".....

I first heard the expression when Peter Cook and Dudley Moor used it in one of their great sketches of the mid-60s. Can't remember the context. " 'It was as black as a witches' tit, your honour,' I said", or somesuch.

mixing metaphors
 

"Cold as a witch's tit".
"Black as a witch's cat".

:O

I'm with you on this one, Wensleydale.

Except that more modern interpretations of the "Black as..." phrase often replace 'cat' with a FOUR-letter word that also begins with 'c' and ends in 't'.

I've heard an old-school professional photographer refer to 'WC' conditions (i.e. 'Black as a ...')

Got to be Jurby Range at the dead of night upside down doing some silly loft attack in a howling gale while pis#ing with rain. Very black and definately tits up if you did not recover - not sure where the witch came in but.............

Black as.....
 

"Black as a Vampire's Ar*ehole"
Seems to be fairly accurate, like many Australian expressions.
:cool:
Neppie

Hooray,a chance to get off PPRunes 'not trying' list!

I've always thought of it as 'cold as....' But another I heard way back in the dark ages when doing the CFS course wasfrom our USAF squadron commander, who referred to an icy runway as 'slippery as owl !!!!!'. Never heard it used before or since! Anyone else?

Never heard that one before but I love it, just adding it into my long term memory for use later!:} :}

It was never black - it was green on the F3 TVTABs.

"Flat as a witches tit" is the phrase I know well.

"Black as a .............. arsehole" - the missing word can not be used in the traditional saying for fear of having Trevor Philips and the whole of the CRE landing on my head!

I think you'll find that the t!t was black, but the outline (if it actually stayed on screen), was green. Or maybe I've forgotten over time ...

I prefer:


"Dark?....it was like half a yard up a bears bottom!".

I heard a good ol' boy USAF Lt Col up in Keflavik describe the runway as "slicker than owlsh1t"..
I never had an opportunity to use it myself though subsequently...
sv

Definitely Mixed Metaphors...
Black as Pitch.
As Cold as a Witches Tit.

(as for a Witches tit being cold, no one was ever going to get the warmth of the - "Milk of human kindness" - from a witches tit.)

I rest my case.

Thanks sidevalve. I've always thought it was probably an American expression, and your version is certainly better. I really only remember the reference to owl, excrement and slippery, and since I only flew with the chap once, in November 1957, have a bit of an excuse for not quite getting it right!

I would imagine there would be more occasion to use it at Keflavik, and now and again at Little Rissington, than in this neck of the woods just now!

An old (Irish) instructor of mine used to comment after a particularly smooth landing (his) 'as smooth as a cat p1ssing on glass'. Never heard it before or since.

I like the way Google is advertising witches hats on this thread - no tits available?

There is also the witches tit which often refers to the nozzle/diffuser at the rear of the final turbine [see image]

http://www.aerospaceweb.org/question...t/turbojet.jpg

Taken from Aerospaceweb.