An oldie but goodie, from when Beagle was a sprog.
 

USA nightstop. The CoPilot unfortunately has had to report sick. Unfit to fly.

What happens now?

a) You phone @rsecot Ops and inform them of the situation, and without question, they give you a 24 Hr delay.

b) Next day, the CoPilot is still poorly and another 24 Hr delay is granted. More shopping!

c) Day 3. No change.

d) Day 4. Ascot Ops casually enquire as to the nature of the CoPilots illness. You admit that perhaps another CoPilot is required as yours has.....BROKEN HIS LEG!!

Welcome back...
 

Ah, SPHLC,

What a pleasure it is to find some decent posts again. Glad you are back online from wherever Teflon "Wars'R'Us" Tone sent you, in one piece! More power to your keyboard!

:ok: :ok: :ok:

Not yet back in one piece! Enjoying the benefits of an Operational Welfare Package (OWP) of free internet and a 20 min phonecard. Whereas the Dutch are on double salary and the Spams are getting their income tax back.

Serving alongside Tactical Medical Wing (TMW), Tactical Communications Wing (TCW), Tactical Supply Wing (TSW), er...Deployed Admin Group? (DAG) Basically, with a load of very important people who make the rules, and have got all the vehicles. (4WD's)

This mornings latest order? (sponsor: SWO) Tent city (TDA) is a salute free zone, however, hats must be worn when driving MT vehicles. Except on the aircraft dispersal, (and in the tent city salute free zone) So make sure you have your hat handy for the 400 yds between the two.

I love my job. :{

PS. Last weeks order. Open toe'd sandals and flip flops are not permitted in the mess tent (something to do with hygene) This order has now been rescinded after the 'Locally Employed Civilians' (LEC's) spent their locally approved footware allowance on food for their kids.

That's it. I'm off to the Designated Smoking Area. (DSA) God help us all.

Mind you SPHLC, you must be able to smell the Pizza Hut from where you are !!!!

I am not he - it is I, StopStart.
Mr SPHLC has made the most basic of all Welfare Internet errors. The failure to logout.

Anyway, you can almost smell the pizza hut from here. I'm not wearing sandals but I did just salute a man who was. I wasn't wearing a hat but then I was in the mess tent. I had washed my hands in the approved manner and I didn't take any food back to the tents. Except this sandwich. I didn't take more than two cans of beer because fridge is already full of them. I didn't use the showers by Ships Routine (or whatever it's called) as I suspect this involves having another gentleman in the shower with you but I did flush the toilet long enough to prevent blockages. I didn't play music in the gym above level 17 after 2230 but i did in the designated smoking area.

Fight Club anyone? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

Actually I have nothing amusing or constructive to add to this thread I'm afraid; I'm just trying to put off returning to my tent where the aircon units are set to maintain the temperature at exactly 15 degrees off comfortable. As it's about 15deg outside now, the tent is 0 degC. If only I could be arsed to switch it off.....ah well.

Mr SPHLC. Remember. When operating in threat environment such as this, always always always log off the Welfare Internet.

what the hell is ramrod?

Race ya! :ok:

Any camel spiders had a nibble on your twig and berries?:}

SPHLC
Have you found the bench (giggle giggle) yet now you are back in the sand?
Is it just like thumrait all over gain or is it filled with people who are even more important that that lot were.
Just remember the days of the BITHICUS and keep smiling.
I would deploy sooner but it seams you have to complete 3 years of IDT and IRT and CCS before you can deploy. I do under stand the need for pre deployment training as it must have all changed completely since February.

Q
You have just arrived at a FOB after being down the back of Albert for some 16 hours. As you put your stretcher in the land rover it goes a bit too far and is now protruding from the windscreen.
Do you
A. Report it immediately to MT and fill out a FMT3
B. Remove object and cover hole with bodge tape like a good GE and pretend nothing happened.
C. Leave hole visible and deny everything.
D. Drive to MT in Land rover and park it around the back, Ask for MT orders and read every page in front of the MTO. Sign MTO's and get 600 signed by MT. Then tell them you have had a little accident but at least you have a current 600. Sit back and watch them explode.

You are tasked to bring a load - well whole Albert load - explosives back to Lye. You are due to land around the same time that a beer call is due to start. Having that much bang on board means that you will have to and might miss some of the free drinks.

Do you....

a. With that much bang on board you park at TFD but that will mean missing most of the beer by the time you get over the airfield.

b. Park at a remote bay that is licenced for DAC but not as much as you are carrying|?

c. Park somewhere else

d. Say that you have 4 pallets of general frieght on board, park near to the terminal, refuse to let the DAMO on aboard, argue that the pallets are really gen freight even though there 1.1 hazard labels showing and refuse to move the aircraft to a licenced bay.

As you have said that there is no DAC on board there is no fire cover provided. When it arrives attracting the attention of the Station Commander who wanders down to see what is happening. Discuss with Harry why you are parked there, move the aircraft to TFD and not get to the ball at all Cinders and instead have a one way chat with the Staish about how you didnt know that there was bang on board.

Fight Club
 

Fight Club Sunday Night usual place!

TQ - Yeah its abit like TTH without the humour M8, however there is a Pizza Hut.

'Top Cover' post deleted! (by me)

Waiting for dust to settle after further transgressions.


It's just the depth that varies. :}

Now stop this rose-tinted stuff about Thumrait. I always thought 'twas funny - Albert Square was the accommodation closest to the gym! Now keep the noise down & no rowdy drinkys you lot. Almost makes me wish I was somewhere like that again.
Perhaps not. Luigi - more vino rosso por favore.
From the memory.

Say, for a moment, that you are AKT Movs. Say a UK FJ unit has some precious children there for some training and the Movers from that base have faxed the load plans etc for the return loads, just to make it easy for you, cos it is the same as the outbound and it trimmed a dream after some hard work. Do you:

a) Give them a quick call to thank them, load as the plans & go to the bar early.
b) Get the young Load Controller to work them over - good training - but follow them anyway.
c) Speak to the Loadys that are taking the stuff back for a bit of teamwork & advice.
d) Get all uppity, thrown the Plans in the bin, re-frig the load, get it wrong, load it badly and end up with a 4 hr delay. On the frame with Gp Capt Ascot Ops on board. On a Friday night.:(

SPHL

Sounds like you need to don the kevlar and dig a hole in the sand until it blows over..........life was much easier in 489 and the 'Dog'!

Take care mate :cool:

What is a 'Grand Slam' (and which is more likely)

a) Tim Henman winning Wimbledon, US Open, French Open and Oz Open.

b) Colin M'ntgumerie winning THE Open, US Open, Masters etc

c) England Rugby team winning....a game?

d) Suffering an adverse reaction to a piece of Haloumi cheese at Sylvana's Kebab. Waking up bathed in sweat, urine, vomit and excrement.