Aesthetically challenged female officer - Kwang, because that's the sound the shovel must have made.

There is a post on Twitter showing a pic of Sqn Ldr L.G. Bastard rolling his Canberra B Mk6 over a very wintry looking Lincolnshire countryside in January 1956.

So the question is: what was his nickname?!

One of my (many) nicknames was Snowy -as in Snow White- because I was taller at 5ft 8in than any of the engine men under my charge at the time. Thanks to the late Steve Powell for that one.

I was also called TC (Top Cat) for a while when at Changi - i have no idea where that came from.

One of my aforementioned dwarfs was known as Laughing Spam -as in fritter- usually abbreviated to Spam.

On that same posting our SENGO deservedly acquired the dual nicknames of The Laughing Backstabber / Smiler - The Smiling Knife.

I used to know a guy called Bonky, on account of his success with the ladies. Led to a rather awkward situation when a few of us ran into him some years later, because we'd all forgotten his real name. I hope his wife saw the funny side...

He eventually became OC 617 Sqdn (Vulcans) and station commander of Cottesmore.

By all accounts he was a nice bloke and never had a nickname.

Slightly off thread but worthy of a mention. I named my mother in law the Exocet. You knew she was coming but could do nothing about it 🤪
My father in law was known as the Exorcist, after he had visited all the spirits had gone 🤪

If we are drifting away to family names. A friend of mine always called his wife Special, which she liked and it went on for years. One day, she suddenly realized that her maiden name had been Kneads, no more special from then on.

The late (and missed) Lex Lafon told the story of a Navy pilot named Seaman, who was saddled with an obvious call sign.

Until, one day, four jets were doing ACM over the Central Valley. One pilot had no targets in sight and a friendly right ahead of him, and communicated the situation thus:

"I'm blind. I've got Sperm on my nose".

Comms disintegrated in an avalanche of snorts and guffaws and it was only one pilot who retained enough composure to yell "knock it off" before the situation became dangerous.

The callsign changed to Spurt. Much later, the pilot was selected for the Blues, and for PR reasons became Sport.

I had an ex-USAF boss named Hawkeye. At the academy, he and another cadet were supposed to make a pre-game parachute jump into the center of the football field. He didn't miss the center. He missed the stadium.

I have heard three explanations:
1) Like many RN nicknames it derives from a once famous boxer, in this case called Knocker White due to the number of opponents he KOed.
2) Prospective customers of a certain dhobi shack were assured by the inhabitant of Chinese origin that he would knock their clothes white.
3) A miller's assistant was known as a knocker white because they were often covered in flour dust. Given the precarious and seasonal nature of their employment many ended up joining the Andrew and the name of the trade stuck.

I'm sure there are more.

Top Cat
 

FYI Top Cat was an American cartoon series wherein “Top Cat is the leader of a group of alley cats, always trying to cheat someone.” Google it for more info.

A guy I worked with had the cartoon character Top Cat on his office door. He liked to be known as TC. He did not realise those around him knew his as That Cnut Smith. His name was not really smith but I use it, probably because he does not realise to this day. And yes he was!

American Herc pilot assigned to a project I was working on was known as Syph. His real name was Phillis. His oppo was known as Shrek. the resemblance was uncanny.

Bloke I work with at the minute is known as Ammo. Should have been fired long ago.

Had a very nice guy who showed up. “Hi my name is Richard but most people just call me Dick.”
Next week another guy shows up. “My name is Richard!”
A few days later someone called him Dick.
Corrective quickly and loudly given “My name is Richard not Dick and you will call me Richard!”
So there after we had “Dick no Richard” and a very unhappy “Richard no Dick”.

albatross

Reminds me of a guy I knew called Richard Firmston-Williams. On arrival on the Squadron he announced that: "I'm usually called Firm-Willy".

Thereafter (of course) he was known as "Slack Dick"......

He certainly was!

lsh

On joining 78sqn at MPA, many moons ago, a fellow Cpl introduced himself to me as follows: "Aye Marra, me name's Boggy, they calls me that cuz ahm alles in the Sh1te".

...and it was true.

There should be a management study on nicknames, because they often seem so cruelly accurate appraisals of the individuals involved.

I know I’ve posted this before but it’s perhaps worth a rehash.

Dave Two Sh**s always thought his knickname was because he was a ‘bit of a lad ‘ who didn’t go give two sh**s…, He didn’t know it was because he was a massive tale topper, - if you had one sh**, he’d had two,

Dave McInerny was always known as Three Heads.

Thread drift. Friend had a black cat named Snowy and a white cat named Ginger.

There once was a USMC exchange pilot known as Droopy (ancient cartoon character) due to his facial expressions. 'Tiny' the worlds biggest armourer and chap called 'Bungalow' because there was nothing upstairs.

A girl at school broke one of her front teeth and was thereafter known as Juanita