AC, ah, the caring sharing Air Force and you have 62 days to vacate your quarter.

I recall hearing of a "caring sharing" Effects Officer who arrived at widow's house with clipboard just after the funeral.

EO: "Just clearing up a few things Ma'am - have you got your late husband's 1250?"

Widow: "No, but I know where it is."

EO: "We must have it back you know.."

Widow: "Every morning before he went to work [he was not an aviator] he checked his 1250 was in the pocket of his shirt. I returned the favour when we buried him in uniform - so now YOU know exactly where it is too!"

On the Flight Safety course in the late 80's, we were given a checklist in case of such an event. It was produced by a single seat fighter Sqn who had lost several aircraft in one year. Getting the car off base and sanitising the contents of desks/lockers were on it. I don't know what I did with it, but I certainly remember copying it and leaving it behind the ops desk of more than one Sqn.

They are not Effects Officers anymore but I think they are called: Assisting Officers.

It was always the commonsense approach to segregate anything which might cause distress, whether that was condoms, magazines of a certain 'flavour' or correspondence between the deceased and Miss Lita Lushbod, with whom he had struck up a 'friendship'.

I do not have any experience of the car issue outlined above but I do remember that when John Derry was killed at Farnborough, he had his car keys in his pocket.

In about 1990 the BBC had a several part programme about an accident (Friday on My Mind) where the Assisting Officer forms a relationship with the widow. The RAF 'top brass' was incensed by the imputation that such a thing would happen, however, a chap I knew quite well had done just that and eventually married the lady.

Old Duffer

Would this be perhaps so the widow would get a War Widows Pension?

Are aircrew still encouraged to write a letter to their loved ones in case of an accident. My dad died in an RAF plane crash in 1960 and when my mother died years later I found such a letter. I started reading it but didn't think I should read it all so disposed of it.

Hipper, never heard of that and knew of enough fatalities in that era.

Old Duffer I know of one where a confirmed bachelor 'collected' a wide and five! I don't know if he was the EO, but car to the same sqn. And another where the wife certainly leant very much on the EO though no impropriety involved.

It is one of the sadest things about a Service death as the survivor is suddenly an outcast among friends, a constant reminder of the vulnerability of their spouses too.

Sadly, in this world it does not always end with the funeral. In the late 1950s I was a 20 year old Photographic Interpreter Intelligence Officer based at Royal Air Force Episkopi but travelled frequently to the PR squadron at Akrotiri. One day I was asked by the Episkopi Adjutant if I would put in a plea in mitigation on behalf of an airman who was being Court Martialed and charged with theft. Apparently his best friend had been killed in a road accident on his way to Akrotiri and the airman in question had stolen the takings of a collection for the family of the deceased. To add to the extraordinary circumstances he was a regular member at the Episkopi C of E church. However, when I sought out friends, colleagues etc of this airman to secure some positive comment nobody would say anything positive and frequently refused to say anything all. Very unpleasant.

Interpreter, nothing to do with deaths but with theft. We had an airman, 1968, who was attached to us pending courts martial. Quite a pleasant and effects young man but because charged with theft from his mates at another unit and was with us for personal safety. No idea what eventually happened.

Mid 80s, a corporal from N Luffenham sadly knocked off Neatishead R12 building by rotating radar head and killed. Man from HSE turns up at gate and Aunty Joan tells me to go and tell him to take up sex and travel. You could in those days. A few months later Padre from Coltishall, our parent unit, turns up in my office in uniform inc dog collar and wellies.On being asked the obvious question, he tells me he is fed up with the urn with Cpl M L H's ashes still being on the mantel shelf in his office so is going to plant them temporarily in Scottow Cemetery until the soon to be ex Mrs H and the soon to be new Mrs H agree on their final resting place. Probably still there.

Amazing the number of aircrew watches, flying jackets, boots etc are written off after a prang...

No tale to tell of my own, but reading these and the effort to sanitise personal effect made me wonder what happens to email and soft copy documentation these days? Is an account closed and deleted, or archived?

I can see how official documentation may be required to be kept (1st RO writing assessment reports etc) but what about personal stuff? Does someone have to go through their email account?

Ogre, a personal work email account is protected by a unique password. The storage system used to be in the work station with server storage either on or off base and a hierarchical backup system. Whilst I was able to have a document recovered from back up I don't know the process for accessing a closed account. Access would necessarily be at server level with authorisation at a fairly high level.

Regarding personal electronic devices you are talking privacy issues, things that the deceased may not have wanted to be seen by NOK on the one hand to things like banking details that they would not want to be seen by 'cleaners '. Tricky one. A similar conundrum is private off-base persons things. On a different forum I have seen advice to give a trusted friend a key, access, and instructions.

My father's death in a crash was August 12th 1960 and at that time we lived in a house in the married quarters. I was seven at the time and it was the school holidays so my brothers and I were playing outside. The crash, shortly after take off, occurred at another station at around 1000am, which was probably a good thing as we lived opposite the runway.

From what my mother told me, about midday the Squadron Leader came round along with the wife of the pilot. We children were parked with our next door neighbours as the three of them went off to tell the other wives. We eventually left the base in early November, so about three months. She never mentioned any pressure to leave but of course that doesn't mean there wasn't any.

One good thing my parents had done was subscribed to the RAF Benevolent Fund. My mother had found a house costing £4,800 but only had the money for half of that. The fund gave her the rest in an interest free loan with no fixed date to pay back (she did of course pay it back later). In those days it was very hard for single women to get mortgages even if they had a job. Indeed single mothers were still not looked at well by some whatever the reasons.

I shall always be grateful to the RAF Benevolent Fund for the help they gave my mother.

Hipper, thank you for sharing that. The RAFBF would help in any case of subscribers.

Funny how the poor corporal's full name has remained in my memory ever since - now what did I have for breakfast - but what is breakfast.......

Same way I can recall the full name of the bloody Canberra pilot (DGMH) who stole my girlfriend in Singapore in 1969, which eventually led to me marrying my first wife :(

Bl@@dy smooth talking aircrew.

Thread drift alert: On the subject of robbing mates, I am reminde of a tale told by an old chum (now sadly deceased) who was at the time a shiny new PARA 2nd Lt.

Being keen, he decided on a no-notice block inspection, sensibly intending to take his Troop Sgt (apologies if wrong title) along with him. Tp Sgt tries to dissuade him, but he is adamant.

On his inspection, he finds a PARA sat on his bed, with his hand palm down on his bedside locker; hand firmly attached to bedside locker by commando-type dagger through hand!!

2nd Lt: "WTF!!!"

Tp Sgt: "Theft from a comrade Sir ........ he won't do it again,"