Men don't lie, they simply describe perfectly plausible alternate realities.
Sadly, women have one reality only.

Starbucks does NOT sell coffee.
The jury is still out on what they're really selling, but it ain't coffee.

47.6% of statistics are simply made up.

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.

All strategies need a Plan B.

The Plan B should be better than "and then we all starve to death in a snowbank outside Smolensk."

When a statement begins "It's not that I don't...", the speaker doesn't.

Tracer works both ways.....

Americans can't make tea.
Brits can't make coffee.

"I motori sono come le donne: bisogna saperli toccare nelle parti più sensibili."
Enzo Ferrari

Engines are like women: you have to know where to touch them.

It does not matter who you vote for, the government always gets in!

Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

War is God's way of teaching geography to Americans

Love many, trust a few, always paddle your own canoe.

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal condition.

A graduate of Finninley Nav School?

Avionics are smoke powered....

... Because when smoke starts leaking out of the boxes, the fairy kit stops working.

On my fitters course the instructor told the class "radar is voodoo magic. Nobody really understands how the system works".

Women need a reason to have sex; men need an opportunity.

When it comes to shopping, the reverse is true.

There's always one in every bunch of twelve :ugh:

The rotors on a helicopter are only there to keep the pilots cool.

When they stop turning, watch them start sweating ...

Michael Caine accent:
"If you can see the camera, then the camera can see you.
Not a lot of people know that."

Microphones pick up sounds.

Not a lot of prime ministers know that

And 99% of them are wrong.

If in the event of a crisis you can keep a clear head whilst all around you are panicking

...............you clearly have no comprehension of the gravity of the situation!

The IP is never on the same 50 thou as the target.

"I'll bet this'll look good on camera!"

If an advance is going well, you're walking into an ambush!

The Battle plan ceases to exist, the moment you engage with the enemy.

Prior planning prevents piss pour performances

Time spent on reconnaissance is seldom wasted

If it doesn't work before take off it won't get better in the air

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
That means you too.

"Not everything worth doing is worth doing well"

"If you can't learn to do something well, then at least learn to enjoy doing it badly"

Mac

:=

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

MJG

Flying is not inherently dangerous, but to an even greater degree than the sea, it is unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity, or neglect.

Ed

I'm a man with strong principles - if you don't like them I have others!

Don't fly too near the Sun, Icarus

Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional!

The best advise can be found on a box of matches,

"Keep dry and away from children"

My personal moto,

"Just because you can doesn't mean you should"

WM

:ok:

If you want something doing properly, get a man in.

Sticky Issue
 

If the Royal Air Force had wanted you to have a wife it would have issued you with one!

Ain't the internet wonderful.

went all the way to Australia and back in only 27 hours and 32 minutes.

As posted some time ago by someone much more knowledgeable than myself:


Don't trust any aircraft where the wings are faster than the fuselage.

"Never put off until tomorrow something you can put off until next week"


"The secret to a long and happy life is hard work and clean living - avoid them both"