How did we get here?
 

We used to have Station COMMANDERS, & Squadron LEADERS; now we have 'availabilty managers', 'risk holders' & 'executives'. Has it all gone wrong? How? When? I loved being in a MILITARY service but I am no longer sure if I am... Is it just me who's changed?

LoL!

That was way back - when no-one was "ACCOUNTABLE".

I'm sure you'll hear about it one day.

Once upon a time Squadron Leaders commanded squadrons, Wing Commanders commanded wings, Group Captains commanded groups. Mission creep?

I decided to get out in the early 1990s when I realised that Sqn Bosses were all locked in their offices trying to be accountants of money, rather than leaders of men.

The final straw for me in that respect was being told I couldn't take any leave because there was no more money in the budget for any more motor mileage claims. As I had carried over the maximum three weeks for the last two years, I cried "enough is enough" and left to work for a more reasonable regime - my own.

We got here when the MOD heads of sheds forgot that we are a "service" and began to treat us as a production line.

Aircrew = Task Facilitators ?

I prefer the new model. I especially like the accountability part for cr@p decision making and unnecessary risk taking that used to take place to keep rupert bear and his bright red trousers happy.

It hopefully will ensure only the right sort of individual in future applies for promotion, instead of attracting a bunch of megalomaniacs as it used to.

I attended the excellent familiarisation day at RAF Waddington on Tuesday. Some great insights behind the scenes, but one thing that struck me is how military units are now "delivering the end product to the customer".

It all started to go wrong when we allowed people to start doing MBAs paid for by HM Forces. That and creeping contractorization and civilianisation bring business buzzword bingo into the military. Even MOD now calls itself the very civilian "Head Office", well the civil servants do anyway. It isn't a bl00dy head office it is a ministry of state.

I used to enjoy refering to a "chief executive" of a particular military agency as the commanding officer; it always got a rise from him. Very childish I know but fight back is all I can suggest.

Well, delivering the sharp end of the product to the customer. At high velocity.

Not so very far from the truth, is it?

But then I was surprised by the morning "shareholders" meeting back in the early '80s so management w@nkspeak isn't exactly new.

Blunket's Bobbies rebranded!
 

And now, for the future, 30,000 Terriers trying to plug the gaps whilst those that were in uniform (all brands) collect their redundancy......

And to consider that "we who served" voted for the Thatchtory in the past!

Typical kick up the shunt!


Ducking Fisgusted

As long as it works like this, that'll be OK:

"Group of hostile customers at grid reference XXXXXX, you are to deliver as many 5000 lb end products from above as possible ASAP"

We used to be a force to be reckoned with - now no one would take us seriously with all the talk of customers and shareholders. They got it wrong when they started to run it all like a business, it's not like we have a profit to make for our shareholders is it? I thought we were for the defence of our country.

Oh and VR - Rupert bear and his bright red trousers? He had a bright red jumper and yellow check trousers.

One buzzword I'd dearly love to see obliterated forever is 'stakeholders'.

Unless we're talking about vampire killing, of course, but otherwise, strike it from the records.

...as a professional pedant...

"Group of hostile customers at grid reference XXXXXX, you are to deliver as many 5000 lb end products from above within a service level agreement and contracted timeframe"

Not forgetting to seek customer feedback ... :E

Don't fret it happens in civvy street too. Last week, I received an email to say something I had ordered over the web had, quote: 'been received at the sortation hub' unquote.

Old Duffer

Dear Recipient at Grid Reference XXXXXX.

Recent updates to your order

Your item(s) has been marked as dispatched.


(Which doesn't actually mean they're on the way)

Dear rigga
 

We called but you were out. If you ring this number between the hours of 09:30 - 16:00 [excpt Wed for staff training] we may be able to assist; customer service is our number one priority. No members of the armed forces were aided or helped in any way during the making of this commercial.

When I look through the stn telephone directory, I can honestly say that I have no idea what the majority of people therein actually do! But I have a solution, we could put all the administration sections under a 'Admin Wg', all the engineering department under 'Eng Wg' and all the sqns under a collective umberella; perhaps 'Operations Wg', then at least I would have a fighting chance of working out who to speak to. Staffing would be easy, a Wg Cdr for each in addition to one each for every sqn....... Winner!