Mess Graces
 

Can anyone help me out with a decent grace for a dining out night????

Try something from the following:

http://entertaining.about.com/gi/dyn...680/gbm001.htm

Hope it helps

One which earned a mate a few extra duties:
"No Padre, thank God."

Benedic, Domine, nos et dona tua,
quae de largitate tua sumus sumpturi,
et concede, ut illis salubriter nutriti
tibi debitum obsequium praestare valeamus,
per Christum Dominum nostrum.

Good food, good wine, good god!

-------------

Oh Lord, who turned the water into wine
Forgive us here, but mortal men
About to turn it back again.

For those without BEagles knowledge of classical languages, a translation:


"Bless, O Lord, us and your gifts,
which from your bounty we are about to receive,
and grant that, healthily nourished by them,
we may render you due obedience,
through Christ our Lord."

Although I do prefer:

Spectacles testicles wallet and watch,
Thank the Lord for what we got.

Good Bread
Good Meat
Good God
Let's Eat.

;)

Heard some great Graces in various Messes, but the best, was given by my best friend who paid a little visit to the Padre and asked for some help. Went down a storm and was fun too.

If I could remember any of it, I'd tell you, but the port flowed too well that eve.

best I remember reading was some kid who offered:

"God bless this bunch as they crunch their lunch"

Interview without amenities at the Head's office followed, apparently...

Rub-a-dub-dub
Thank God for the grub

Bless us Sinners

As we eat our Dinners

Forty odd years ago, when I was young, handsome and played Bass Trombone in the Station Volountary Band, we were performing at a civvy fete somewhere near Bath and the good ladies of the organising committee had laid on a quite splendid spread for us in place of the usual few sandwiches and tea. We arranged ourselves around a well laden table and were just about to tuck in heartily when this irreverent little Sergeant unexpectedly stood and announced that he would say Grace. We all interrupted the progress of cake to cakehole and stood, somewhat sheepishly. He then pronounced:-

Lord,
Give us the grace
and give us the power,
to shift this lot
in half an hour.


We did.

Happy days!

Mike W

Here's to the food on your plate
Here's to the wine in your glass
If you don't like what we are having tonight
Well, you can shove it up your
Amen

Dear Lord, we paid for this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing

Thanks for bread and buttered toast,
Father, Son and Holy Ghost,

or,

We thank Thee for this piece of Cod
that passeth all understanding.

Shortest one I’ve heard:

“Pa Ta”

What happens if you're an athiest? Are you excused grace-saying duties in the UK?

No Grace, but a post-prandial toast:

"Here's to the breezes
that lift the chemises
above pretty girls' kneeses
and show us the creases
that God gave to pleases
(and give us diseases
by Jeeses!) :)

At a Scottish friend's wedding -

Doon wi yer heed
An up wi yer claws
An thank the good Lord
For the use o' yer jaws.

O Lord, we thank thee for these 'vittles'
may they add to our souls
and not to our middles;)

dear lord

thankyou for breakfast, lunch and dinner
without it we would be much thinner

amen:ok:

Always a favourite in my very Scottish Mother's household:

The Selkirk Grace

Some hae meat and canna eat
An' some wad eat that want it
But we hae meat and we can eat
An' sae the Lord be thankit

Burns

Actually her version of line two was:

An' some hae nane that want it

fobs

Interesting question, Tinstaafl. As an atheist, I promised myself that, if called upon to say grace, I would keep it secular. In the event, to my shame, I conformed and chuntered some pious banalities. I am, however, saving this one for the next opportunity:

"Oh gracious (insert name of supermarket or wholesaler here), we thank thee for thy bountiful gifts. Tonight we feast on generous helpings of food that were purchased from your glorious shelves. You graced us with sales on this leg of lamb for us to feast on, and two-for-one specials on frozen prawns. And we will try, in your name, to buy healthy food, so we do not succumb to the evils of the fat demons. For we know if we are wicked and eat too much of the chocolate tort we recieved, we will be under the power of the dastardly PTI for eternity. We must withstand Fat's temptation and defeat him with regular exercise. In (insert name of supermarket or wholesaler here)'s name, dig in."

Grace for the Atheist
 

Some say grace should be religious
but I for one, do not believe in Jesus
The reason we are all gathered here
is to wish (use name) well and drink his/her beer
so lets say farewell to our friend (use name)
lets fill our plates
and get stuck in

Rent the Ben Stiller movie of a few years ago. Meet my parents or something like that. A rather funny one in there. You may get bounced from the table for it, but the stories you can tell...

Dear Lord,

Bless my old boy
May he be noshed with an ice cube in each cheek
Amen

Load Moving.........

One that caused a couple of extra duties:

The Lord helps he who helps himself
But God help thoses caught helping themselves! . . . . Amen

Swiftly followed by thundering silence and hard stares

Saying Grace
 

I have been informed that my Sister would like me to say Grace at her Wedding in a few weeks time and with it not being a very religious occasion (they are not tying the knot getting married in a church = Burn In Hell :} ) I am struggling for what to say.

All my times spent at Mess functions I now wish I had written down all the classic Padre tails.

Can anyone remember any light hearted Grace speeches?

Thanks in advance

MM

"Oh Lord who with thy power divine
turnest water into wine
Have pity on us foolish men
who try to turn it back again"

or

"Dear Lord
Give us the strength and give us the power
to shift this food in half an hour"

or something like this anyway!:hmm:

Grace
 

I thought it was the Devil who had the tail - I can't think of any padre of my acquaintance who had one. Only teasing - I'll be at a dining-in on Friday, I'll make a note for you and post later. Will this be in time?
The Ancient Mariner

No Padre, thank God.

How about:
"Thank you Lord for the food here shown,
Speak to you later on the big white phone."
:ok:

Good Food
Good Wine
Good Company
Good God

STH

We had recently:

Good Wine,
Good Meat,
Good God,
Lets Eat.

Lord,

Rub a dub dub,
Thanks for the grub.

Amen

Saying Grace
 

Two suggestions:
1. A Naval Grace, "Thank God! Amen"

2. "There once was a cock and a hen
Who gave lunch to a goose in a pen
"Good Lord" said the goose
"Bless this food for our use
And us to thy service. AMEN"

"for good food, good friends, and all the other good F's in life... we thank you lord, Amen".

or...

"rub-a-dub dub, thanks for the grub, amen."

or...

"Ta, Pa."

I always found this one had the right blend of humour and reverence...

"We thank thee Lord before we dine
For food, for friends, for laughter.
So may we feast and drink fine wine,
And still rejoice the morning after.

Amen"

For all this food, we thank you Lord
And all these guests we can't afford
Please bless the staff and make them stay
'Til half past three to clear away.

Just keep it simple. We say Grace for most meals. Something like;

"Lord, we thank you for this time of fellowship, for the food and may you bless us for today. Amen."