Although having giggled throughout most of the threads and in my younger days baited said snow drops, I must follow the example of BEags and say I have had more support than grief. Thank you to the guys at the Ski Champs who ensured that a large number of our brethren avoided nights in foreign cells.

Really?! Do tell!

I agree entirely with Baldeagle.

When I did my national service in the RAFP, I found them all jolly nice chaps, as well as thoroughly professional in their day to day jobs.

I decided, though, not to extend my service as I was thoroughly fed up with the moronic behaviour of many of those outside the branch who had been to 'Sleaford Tech' and thought they were the bees-knees to the RAF.

When I later joined the civilian police, I encountered hundreds of RAFP in the 4 decades before I retired, particularly when I reached quite senior rank, and always remained highly impressed with them, whatever rank they were at the time.

Some of my fondest memories were when I was Chief Constable of Thames Valley Police, and I would often pop into Abingdon or Benson for a coffee with the RAFP on duty.

And then when I was appointed Commissioner of the London Metropolitan Police, I had similar experiences with the chaps at Northolt.

Ah yes, those grand ole days!

Sad though, to see that the RAF has still not got it's aircrew and officer selection procedures correct, with far too many morons slipping through the net, as evidenced by the remarks by many of them on this thread.

I am convinced, though, that things will improve when the RAF is disbanded and it's assets taken over by the RN and Army. Those 2 services would never tolerate having such mindless idiots in their ranks.

When I used to dine with the various Chiefs of Staffs in Whitehall during my time in the Met, they would let their hair down and tell the truth about many of their junior and middle ranking officers shortcomings. They were embarrassed at having a regular flow of these low calibre 'officers' always managing to slip into the service, but were grateful that they did not stay long as they were identified after a posting or two and advised that a more appropriate career beckoned them somewhere outside the service.

:)

Yep, just like your mothers are one of the oldest trades in the world..:E

Falklands: Driving 'whitey' one evening, full of inbound airbridge crew, and get pulled by plod. Conversation goes something like:

plod: you realise you're weaving from side to side?
me: I wouldn't be surprised, steering's a bit suspect
plod: aha! so you're driving an unroadworthy vehicle!
me: whatever...
plod: you been drinking?
me: I've had 1 can, yes
plod: if I was to ask you to take a breathalyser test, would you agree?
me: yes, of course
plod: oh, well, urm..(mumble mumble) we don't actually have any kits on the island...
(cue hysterical laughter from within the depths of 'whitey!!')

RAF Coppers....you couldn't make it up! :mad:

To be fair, substantive role specific Coppers* are, by and large good eggs - however LAC A/Cpl Securicor/Stasi types deserve all they get.

Just have to work form the start-point ACAB then get to know the individual - guilty until proved innocent!

*Sy/Counter int types

Lord Pete Imbert

Given that you are now in your dotage (or at least your 70's); perhaps your memory dwells on aspects of your career which are, to say the least, somewhat less than the requirement of UK law

Very well, I dare.

Lord Pete Imbert, I believe you to be an imposter.

I refuse to believe that Peter Michael Imbert, Baron Imbert QPM, would resort to such dreadful English as displayed in the post quoted above.

There is neither an apostrophe in the posessive pronoun "its", nor the requirement to use figures, e.g. "2" (meaning "two services") in written English.

Further, the agitated language with regard to the Services indicate something more recent than a fifty year old acquaintance with them.

Je t'accuse.

I agree, also seems strange to be the current Lord Lieutenant of Greater London's first post as well.

OK Pete, or should that be Peter, show your true colours :ok:

IT'S NOT JUST THE RAF POLICE (but then It's not EVERY Barrier Pilot - 3 stories)


3 Stories - 2 bad(US LE & Army) and 1 good(Dusty Millar):

The Bad:
BEagle
I was at Incirlik in late 2002 with a small 4-wk det
As I was sharing a tent with the RAF bugler for Armistace Day, Everyone was invited to attend, but opted out of, the remembrance service. The Bugler & his mate went, and returned much later then expected accompanied with a USAF LE (Law Enforcement officer)
When the LE dragged the bugler +1 into our tent he was surprised by the amount of alcohol in our tent* and probably stayed longer than he should have.
The following night, the LE turned up at our tent, uninvited, bearing a bottle of peppermint schnapps(?). As we had been watching League Of Gentlemen DVDs, we had invented a cockatail called "sticky white love-piss" (Stolly, Citrona & Gin) to which we added his Peppermint schnapps which (as he obviously had no yankee mates) decided to join us in.
On about the 5th round, he noticed that the measures were heavily weighted against him, and I ended up downing a 7/8ths stolly mix (in one) to appease him, before returning to the normal mixtures (Not that I'm a lightweight, but Patriotic rules were in force)

After about 18 rounds (Good on him for keeping up as far as he did - he even went and bought a second bottle of schnapps), we had to return him to his mates - problem was we didn't know where he'd come from!!! - we ended up leaving him on a bench in the middle of the USAF tents - He might have well have been in a body-bag.
Dunno what happened to him, but didn't hear anything about any unexplained death amongst the Yanks

* as we were grounded, 1 guy stayed in his bed for 3 days without eating, but worked his way through 5 boxes of red wine!!!!!
1box = 5ltr
5box=25ltr
1btl=075ltr
5box=37btls!!!!!
3days = 12+ btls per day!!!!!!!!!!!!
When he eventually puked, he turned the concrete purple!!!!

The Good:
On a det with RAFP FS "Dusty" in Mississippi
24Hr DLA due Wx over Canada
3 guys got nicked over a casino table dispute (3 guys in the right according to the stories I heard - Casino got it's comeuppance due Katrina!!!!! - (google Copa))
Dusty got them sprung in time to catch out DLA'd flight back home

The Bad: (Albeit a grunt, not an RAFP, but nethertheless trained on GateGuardian/BarrierPilot duties by a plod!!)
On a HGV driving course at DST Leconfield (as my parents live close by, I opted to live out and informed the powers that be on application of the course)
I arrived on day 1 (Mon) and signed in at the guard room - guardroom staff tried to sign me in to a computer which didn't have me listed as I was living out - No joy, tried the other terminal - no joy - I told them I was living out, they said "aaahh, well in that case, just tell them each day when you drive out of the gate that I was not on the system!!! - They even gave me a different coloured Car Pass to every one else on the course
(Leconfield have a weekend signout ticket system (like the RN Liberty Boat))
Mon - no probs (Later on Mon - no probs - we had to go back later on for a brief at 1900hrs - I spent the intervening 2hrs in Beverly shopping)
Tue - no probs
Wed - no probs
Thu - no probs
Friday (the day that everyone wants to leave):
Drives towards the gate (as I had done on Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu) to be greeted by a LCpl Grunt"Where's your exit chit?"
Me (substansive Cpl in uniform) "I don't have one"
Grunt "Well you'll have to park up and join that queue over there and get one" pointing to a 100+ people queue
"I'm not on their computer!"
Grunt "Well you have to put yourself on it!"
"I've tried, but I'm not on it - they said just tell you I live out and drive out"
Grunt "But you need a chit"
"I didn't need one yesterday, or Wed, Or Tue, or Mon ... twice!"
Grunt "But you need a chit"
"I Dont' HAVE A CHIT!!!"
Grunt "But you need to get one!!"
"They won't give me one because I'm not on their computer!!"
Grunt "Well you'll need to put yourself on the computer"
"I'm not ON THE COMPUTER!!!!!"
Grunt "Then you'll have to put yourself on the computer"
"BUT I LIVE OUT!!!!!!!!!
Grunt "But you still need chit"
"THEY WON'T GIVE ME A CHIT BECAUSE I'M NOT ON THE SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!"
Grunt "OK then, Off you go ............... And Keep your speed down in future!!!!!!!!!!!"


"Keep My Speed Down"???????!?!?!?!?!?! - I was on a driving course - any excess speed would get picked up by my instructor on the course (and ultimeately fail the course fro), not by a gate guardian who I approached at 5mph MAX due to the queue of 12 cars in front of me all being stopped to show their exit chits!!!!

The following Friday, the gate was easily clear from 200+yds, so I stayed at a steady 15mph approaching the gate and just put my foot down and accelerated to the posted 20mph closer to the barrier - The Grunt (a different one to last week) stepped aside as I approached him and sailed past windows up!!
Same again for the next 3 weeks!!!
ENDEX - Never want to go back to Leconfield Again!!!!!! (but know how to handle it if I do!!!!!!)





In my Experience:


Once A Barrier Pilot - Always A Barrier Pilot

Once upon a time there were three little wooden tops. Two were good little wooden tops but one was a big bad wooden top.

In case we run out of snowdrop stories how about some wooden top ones?

Speeding through Lincoln one morning. Plod steps out. "Going a little fast Sir?" - aren't they always polite - "This is a 30 mile zone Sir."

"Oh!, what speed was I doing then?"

"You don't want to know Sir, if I told you I'd have to book you."

And Newcastle-

Speed approximately 89.96 mph in a 70 zone. Different from 90 - only 3 points.

Or village bobby, in days when they had a village bobby. Enters pub in bicycle clips and hat well late at night. Rather more in the pub than beds upstairs. "Would all those with cars outside pointing down the hill turn them round so they are pointing up the hill."

Exit pub full of drunks.

"Would you like a drink?"

Hat off, "Don't mind if I do."

Probably apocryphal!
Lots of snow,cease flying.Liney's build large snowman outside the line office. Big bad snowdrops flatten snowman brethren in SWB.Ever industrious liney's build second snowman.Snowdrops return in SWB & do for snowman number two.
Liney's build snowman mark III.Snowdrops return, intent on snowman's destruction,only to find (after coming to a juddering,steaming halt!) lineys had constructed snowman number three around a large concrete post:}

In the visual control room of the tower at EGQS in 1987 at night. Plod car zooms onto the taxiway and heads towards the shorter runway. Easily doing 40MPH (whats the speed on the airfield at night boys & girls?) so I pointed it out to the SNCO controller on duty and we put the runway crossing lights to red. Plod car stops but after a minute reverses (on the manuevering area at night without a marshaller := ) and heads toward the end of the runway to go around it, obviously forgetting that ATC also control those traffic lights. Despatched Crash 1 to escort plod car to the tower and direct plod up the stairs until he can't go any higher.
Plod appears and SNCO asks for his airfield driving licence, which he produces. Rrrrriiippp! You don't speed on my airfield at night! Your permit is withdrawn get out of the tower.

15 mins later OC Plod rings asking please can his plod be allowed to drive around to the hanger to relieve a n other plod, he'd been speeding 'cause he was a bit late in the first place. Tut tut tut, naughty plod :=

BD

Few years back when we had a base in Central America.....

Cops got a new speed gun and set it up to catch those breaking the 15mph speed limit on the camp.

One of our lads got pulled and asked if he knew what speed he was doing. What with Landrover speedos being soooo accurate at slow speed he said about 15 mph.

The cops said yes he was doing exactly 15mph - well done and to carry on like that!

Its Probably NOT apocryphal!
 

If brain cells are correct, Winter of '78 at 55 Sqn line, started as battle with 57 Sqn, Brains on Chains get involved and, as woptb says, the SWB quickly became Cat 5ed.
BoCs try a couple of "fizzers" on the line, but all defended by 55 Sqn Jengo / Sengo and WO (Boss Hogg)

Happy Days on the Victors:ok:

This was the post i was replying to about the RAF Policemans death. His death was tragic and totally preventable with proper supervision.

if RAFP are busy protecting airfields, How come every time I drive past the main gate at EGQL, theres always some poor airman on it ?
Ex RAF mate driving through little village near to EGQL. Stops at village shop for paper. RAF plod pull up behind. Proceed to berate mate for driving at 35 mph in a 30 zone. Mate advises RAF plod to go forth and multiply.

Pulled up to the barrier at Coningsby in the 80s, duty bod in gate reading book in his little box. Fed up with waiting I drive in through the exit side of road (a bit impatient I know). RAFP in MGR get a paddy on, start Operation Roundup. By the time it's implemented, I've left the Stn again. RAFP have my details, report me to OC GD who pushes OC Admin to Court Martial me. Fg Off OC GD is a complete loser - he carries a swagger stick - do I need to say more?! I played rugby with the RAFP that reported me and recognised me in the car. All subsequently dropped - huge waste of time. They're all losers and need to get a grip on reality!

An RUC friend of mine frequently commentated "no one likes a copper"

> Coming from another EU nation it's duty paid already!

They might well be duty paid but there are limits on how much duty paid stuff you can bring in. You are only allowed to bring enough for your own use. It's not clear what that means exactly but if you roll up at Dover with 10 years supply of cigs you won't allowed to bring them into the UK duty paid or not.

And of course The Ugly goes without saying. :)