I was at my son's passing out at BRNC and the Admiral was introduced to my family. He turned to my daughter, a Stringfellows dancer at the time, and asked her why she wasn't in the Navy. "It's the shoes," she said, "I couldn't possibly wear those shoes".

I would bring all of the GR4s back from the Gulf and have them on CAP over London/Liverpool/Manchester/Nottingham and anywhere else that's plagued with gang/drug problems. Then get the army to flush out the toe rags and if they meet any resistance (which would be futile), call in an airstrike.

It would beat sitting over Baghdad anyday...

How about:
1. More Scripture Readers (trainee Padre) - stick one in every crewroom, and productivity would go through the roof as no-one would want to risk having a tea break, for fear of getting pounced upon.
2. More badges on CS95 - let's face it, in the last couple of years we've only had the little Union Jack, the 'Royal Air Force' name tag, and the new Tactical Recognition Flash (which, incidentally should be the lack-of-recognition flash, as most people's comment is "What the :mad: is that?). There must be some scope for a few new badges to help reduce the overall camoflague effect.
3. Stop diluting everyone's skill by making us do everyone elses job - lets have professional guards doing the main gate, soldiers doing the soldiering, adminers doing the admin, instead of Orderly NCO / Officer, civvy firemen being civvy firemen etc.
4. More pay - there doesn't have to be a reason, other than I work hard, and I want more cash to spend please.
5. Air transport - if I'm in the RAF and I go away on det, I don't expect to have to explain to (laughing) civvy mates why I have to drive there. I start the journey at an airfield, and end at an airfield. It really can't be that hard to work out! If you're worried about money, close down one of those stupid government committees that spend a fortune on expenses.
6. A burger king on each camp.
7. A Hooters on each camp.
8. Someone to input the data on LITS for me. (Preferably someone who used to work at Hooters, but did an evening course:E ).

Brilliant TonkaTechie ! :ok:

1. make sure we keep all our aircraft until they are on their last legs before thinking of a replacement.
2. change our admin to an expensive automated system where you will no longer have the chance to have to discuss your issues.
3.Make sure wehave so much personal kit that we dont use, that we have to have a garage to store it in, whilst making sure we dont have enough of the kit we do use.
4.Employ a non user friendly method of tracking all our spares for our aircraft, and make sure it is as man intensive as possible.
5. Reduce the amount of line engineers to the bare minimum, but ensure all other sections are up to strength to enable everybody to have the weekend off.
6.Make sure the ladies wear short skirts