MPA bars
 

Can anyone remind me of the names of the bars around MPA? Especially can't remember Bristow's place, 1312 (whoosh) I got - the Queen Vic, what are the others?

And what's the big accommodation block called, wher the messes etc are? I'm getting old...

Would you mean the 'Death Star'?

1435 Flt has 'The Goose'...

F_M :D

78 had the Tiger bar & Lot22. I belive the block was known as 12 Facility.

E.

Castaways . . . .

Queen Vic is no more. Buldozed for a car parking space I think . . ..

One end of the Death Start was 12 Facility, the other end was 38 Facility, they became collectively known as 'The Facility' at the back end of 99.

Eng Wg HQ had Timmy's bar.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6.../CopyofMpa.jpg

As well as The Goose, 1435 also has the Eyrie Bar which is now held in the former Castaways, and The Swamp, which is the SNCO's bar.

Sharkey's, The Crab and Sprocket, Timmy's, Steamers, Lot 22....etc..

And the stackers friday night bar, the name of which escapes me?

Another BEagle original! I originally christened it the 'Deathstar' during OP. LAMPUCA in May 1986.

The name seems to have stuck!

I'm not surprised that the 'Vic' met its maker - it was getting out of hand and living on borrowed time when I last did time in the Islas Malvinas as Dep OC Air Wing.

Not only the Vic that met it's maker around that time,

Most of the bars on MPA were shut down strangely around the same time as the NAAFI's were refurbed. Some were beginning to open again at the end of last year, but the fact that the Vic was a sh**hole, and was falling apart was a major nail in it's coffin. Timmy's was also closed indefinately, despite probably being one of the best bars on camp.

Besides the Goose and The Eyrie of course!!

Who are we????:p

D-IFF_Ident - The one you asked for in the original post (the Bristows bar) is 'Erics'. Not that well know as it was strictly an invite only bar. However, like all of the bars I doubt if a female ever got turned away!

The greatest loss to MPA had to be 'The Lot 22' or as it was billed 'The South Atlantic's premier Nite Club'. It opened on a Tuesday night. The doors were shut when it reached 240 people (fire regs!) and there would often be another hundred turned away.

Infamously called Lot 22 because this was the lot number that the original Portacabin had in the surplus sale after the MPA original build before it was 'borrowed' by a Chinook from 78 Sqn!

Ahhhh, the memories.........Erics on a Wednesday night (back in the early eighties) was the "in-place" to drink. It was a terrific place until the F4 jocks came in all dressed up in their grow-bags, sleeves rolled up, wearing sunglasses (at night?????) telling us all about how they did this or how they did that etc........ Loved the place.

Rocket.

Perchance you have trouble remembering 'Shadeys'?

It seems to be a common problem from those frequenting the establishment.

Ahhh - Shadeys...... :)

Also the "Castaways" over at Air Traffic and the "Slip it Inn" which the Tels boys opened very occasionally.

It says a lot about how cr@p the 'official' mess bars were that so many of these 'drinkers' sprang up on Base Aerea Gringo, Islas Malvinas.

The damn Goose should have been $hitcanned years ago. It frequently caused smoke alarms to go off at ungodly hours and the unnecessary evacuation of the Deathstar. And as for the 'pole dancing' that went on.....

We also discovered a few ilicit 'drinkers' in the accomodation roof spaces....and some very nearly catastrophic fires caused as a result.

My opinion was that ALL the non-Mess bars should have been closed. Not because I'm a killjoy, but because they were b£oody dangerous!

LOT22
 

Max Cont:
Lot 22 originally came from navy point (Stanley) January1987.

As we were shifting portacabin after portacabin across the bay they were having a lot no painted on them. We tasked the hooker at the receiving end to sort out a likely cabin for our proposed facility. He designated it by placing his bergan on it. At the end of the day we hooked it up and it magically appeared outside 78, 30 mins or so later. Next day there was a complaint made to us that a portacabin was missing and there was now a gap between lots 21 & 23. The white painted lot no was quickly painted over in green following a hasty HF call. When I left in the March (2 weeks after the opening) there was a brass plaque on the lot in memory of the 7 guys who met and untimely end on 27 Feb that year, 2 of whom had been on the aircraft when we "relocated" the lot.

There were pews and old wooden seats from one of the settlements who accepted some of HMG's finest plastic chairs in exchange. The Juke box was rebuilt by the loadies and hookers after it had been smashed by one of the regiments leaving fox bay. The beer fridges were intercepted and exchanged for old medical stores fridges whilst on return from fox bay. aahh the days of RAS-ing.

Is Amos's wall (a monolith of a stone BBQ) still standing? There was also a Mirage tail plane as a BBQ table.

...I seem to recall 38 Facility was also known as "The Bronx"

BEagle, my money is on you being a killjoy.

Close all the non-official bars? RAM IT. They're the only thing that stops MPA actually being a prison. Other than the fact that prisoners are entitled to better accommodation standards and do less than 4 months.

Most of the really dodgy bars were closed ages ago on the first round of Morale Extraction after that bull***t article in a poorly informed Red Top tabloid. The rest are fighting for survival in an over-administrated, Big-Brother existance.

"S**tcan the Goose".........what?............ Were you not interesting enough to be invited to The Goose where 1435 Flt were having fun, making too much noise for you to watch your Betamax videos of Back To The Future?

The only thing dangerous about The Goose is the little bits of slightly jagged Mirage, A-4 and GR3 wreckage exibited in the place.

Ray.

I shall not rise to your bait of abusive personal comment, RoC, which in any case is utterly irrelevant.

Examine the original raison d'etre for the 'unit' bars. That no longer exists. As I wrote earlier, it is the state of the 'official' bars which deserves scrutiny. When I was first there 19 years ago, the official mess bars were very popular and social life thrived. But over the years people became increasingly disenchanted with everything from the bar prices to the stupid dress requirements; as a result, the unofficial drinking dens became increasingly popular. Regrettably, those who ran them didn't always do it well - and the disruption to the many caused by the antics of the thoughtless few in the Goose very nearly led to its closure after the third evacuation in 2 weeks caused by smoke alarms. However, it was given a gypsy's and things improved for a while.

That was the effect. Perhaps the cause merits further assessment? Why, for example, should anyone some 8000 miles from civilisation be obliged to abide by a dress code more formal than anything required at their home base? That just drives people into an alternative society, not a particularly healthy state of affairs.

Of course the fact that people are thousands of miles away from home defending the place from a non-existent threat doesn't help.

Speaking as an ex-baldric who spent most of my time 'Down South' on the Mountains, on my rear trips into MPA I tried not to drink in the NAAFI

Yes Beags, the messes might have been OK if the rules were relaxed (and one of my SNCOs at the time complained about the antiquated rules in his mess too) but where were us pondlife to go? The advantage of the small bars is that they were all-rank, cheap, friendly and you could keep the Pongos out.

Unless you wanted to fight the RIC and pay outrageous prices for out of date drink in a part of the complex that was even more soulless that the rest of the Death star the NAAFI was a place to avoid.

Any truth in the stories that the asi cage and all "non-naffi run bars" have been closed by the mini morale hunter?

Whilst I fully agree with BEagles comments, the better run bars such as the Queen Vic, Lot 22, Timmys etc, provided an excellent boost to the various section funds. This enabled them to provide us with some of those home comforts which made life just about bearable.

In addition the regular refurbishments provided a much welcomed diversion for the inmates

C130 Techie, yes, at one stage that Queen Vic was well run and achieved precisely what you describe. Regrettably, however, that was not always the case. It needed a bit of direction and a modicum of leadership from the 1312 SNCOs (with minimal input from the OC) - but it was looking pretty seedy the last time I saw it; things semed to be getting out of hand rather too often.

A shame really that it closed - when they ran an afternoon rugby match special by invitation only, the Vic team made a lot of money for the unit funds.

Thanks for all help chaps. Only got there once - 3 weeks on alert, no boozing allowed. Here's to delaminating windows ;)

And the other advantage of all the other bars is that when I (I mean when my mate ;) ) was banned from the OM bar for a month by the Wing Commander (miscarriage of justice) then I (I mean my mate) could drink even more than normal ......

...... and as everyone had heard of said miscarriage, then I (all right, it was me, you guessed) didn't have to buy many drinks in the other bars either .........:E

Mr C Hinecap,

Ah, Shadeys. How could I have possibly forgotten that one!:p

BEags,

Whatever happened to variety being the spice of life? As Raytofclimb said, the unofficial bars ARE the only thing that keeps the island from becoming a prison.

Imagine having 4 months of drinking in the same cr4ppy, overpriced bar every night with no prospect of anything different. As if it's not like Groundhog Day as it is! The fact that there are different bars you can visit gives you an element of normality in your life. Would you be happy at home only ever being able to drink in one place?
And as for The Goose:oh: How dare you sir!! The most dangerous thing there is the prospect of your eyes turning square from sitting so close to that ENORMOUS projection screen TV!!:p

...showing 16:9 DVDs of Back to the Future, no doubt!

:p to raytofdecay!

Beagle

Wonders may never cease!

You are FOR closing the only things that stop 99% of people swinging by their issue shoelaces in their box rooms!

You need to get down to the fun vacuum and enjoy the mess bar on your own!

The rest of us will traipse around the base finding sheds with fun bars in them!

ROCK ON "THE GOOSE"!!! Invite only now I believe.

Guess you probably wouldnt get one with that anti-fun attitude.

:cool:

To set the record straight, The Goose is not an unofficial bar. It is the crew room, or Lounge, of the 1435 Flt Aircrew. It doesn't serve beer.

It does however, have a stock of cans for off duty aircrew to drink. Interesting guests (soz Beagle) are invited to attend on an ad hoc basis and are allowed to be there under some strict rules.

Granted, others have spoilt it for the rest in the past.... hence the strict rules.



p.s. BEagle, why you call the Falkland Islands the Malvinas? Do you still call Iraq Mesopotamia?

Don't go there....been done before on here...

Now then...what was the name of the Catering bar that had a cracking quiz night on a (I think) Tuesday?
Packed out....smoke so thick you could cut it with a knife, and some very obscure questions, but IIRC a big pot for the winners, and some SERIOUS rivalry!!

Cats Cradle?

As regards the BEagle-Malvinas debacle, Heard BEags reasons/excuses before, however, I still think personally that he is slightly out of order to insist on referring to the islands as the Malvinas.

I'm sure that the families of the 255 Britons who died ensuring that the Falkland Islands remained named as such would agree with me also

(Climbs off soapbox)

.... malvinas.....really beags....they used to hang people like you!

Scrap the goose.....what a party pooper! - long gone are the days of the blah jet mob, most of the antics you refer to happened bloody years ago!

Begs the question though - at what stage in ones air force career does one turn from being a good lad into a dour old killjoy?

I've had the privilidge to hear some great stories on this forum - many of which were from you beags!! Does us a favour, just remember what it was like when you were one of those young whipper snappers and try not to spoil what little fun is left in this air force for the rest of us!!

Ps
Begs the question - serving members of Her Majestys' finest get issued phone cards on det - currently 15mins a week i think. How does that compare to the allowance for those detained at Her Majestys' pleasue??

20 mins actually, but still next to useless. There are only two places on this planet that I have visited and been unable to get a mobile phone signal - one of those is the Falklands, the other is my kitchen!

BEags, you are not going to win this argument. I fully agree that mess dress regs are a pain in the arse, and that the nature of the place demands some after-hours drinking if one is to remain sane. Having said that, the Goose is STILL a pain in the arse, and populated by arrogant fag-chariot drivers / passengers (who invite you to their bar and then proceed to spend the next 2 hours either ignoring you or telling you how great they are and how insignificant you are in comparison). Do you think the fact that the Goose survived the 'bar cull' has anything to do with who provides the heirarchy in MPA? The Vic was a far superior boozer, and was far enough from those who wished / needed to sleep as to not cause disturbance. It DID however, as timmy's does now to an extent, rely on somebody laying on transport.

However, I'm hardly surprised at your views, being a (former) obsolete-airliner-driver - your days there will have been spent on permanent Q, thereby not giving a **** WHAT bars were open. As others here have suggested, have a thought for your fellow man!

Castaways still has potential, if only it could stock a better range of imbibements than the current 'yellow / brown / red / go thirsty' options. Timmy's has now re-opened as an 'official' bar of sorts - and as with the Vic, it isn't right next door to / directly above some poor sod that might want to get some sleep as they've got an 0230 report for a south sandwich run - something the Goose is routinely guilty of.

The Chard is still alive and well, but as is typical with the Army, you can't have a drink there with your entire crew as it's an Officer's only affair, and there's a dress code, leaving opening times as the only advantage over the mess. There is a HUGE market gap at the moment, which could be filled with a bit of imagination from 1312flt (the ONLY aircrew unit that currently do NOT have a bar/ large crewroom facility in the block). You need the following, IMHO:

1: Bar needs to be within walking distance of accomodation.
2: Bar needs to be isolated from main accomodation areas, so as not to attract criticism / complaints from those who NEED to go to bed!
3: Bar needs to stock a FULL range of drinks, not just a fridge full of cans.
4. Bar needs to be invite only, to avoid gate crashing by squaddies after hours.

A couple of portakabins out the back of 'Albert Hall' maybe?

16B

16B, your description of the 'Goose' is pretty much as I remember it....

The idea that "...the nature of the place demands some after-hours drinking if one is to remain sane." would doubtless raise a few eyebrows in certain quarters. I don't agree that it 'demands' after-hours drinking; however, I do agree that if the messes and official 'pubs' don't meet your needs, then some reasonable alternative should be available.

A 'New Vic' as you describe would seem a good idea. But as an ex-inmate of the 1312 facility, I was always of the view that the Flt should be out of bounds to the Vic's patrons.

However, as a "(former) obsolete-airliner-driver", my days were not exclusively as a member of 1312 "spent on permanent Q, thereby not giving a **** WHAT bars were open." So I do have some sympathy - but the chief fault lay with the mess regulations which drove people underground.

Anway, no doubt much to the relief of many, I shall leave any further comment to those unfortunates who still have to spend their lives thousands of miles away defending the Bennies from the clear and present threat posed by the Argentine hordes some 23 years after the war ended.....

Of course there is such a threat, isnt't there......?

Musing on the subject of non-Mess bars in locations such as MPA:

As a humble ground-dweller, it is my fantastic fortune to be designated as OC 'something'. This is so fantastic because it means I usually have 'people' as part of the 'something'. The funny thing is, those 'people' are not of my rank. This strange set of circumstances is what most of the RAF runs under.
Having non-Mess bars is vital to the morale of the Forces. I really like the people I work with and want to have a beer with them at times. Granted, the MPA drinking culture is OTT, but I can't change that from here.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. :ok:

BEags, of course there is no such threat.... but I think the real reasons for our continued spending on those godforsaken islands are starting to become more well known

Oil!

Its not so many years ago (or is it?) that there were 2 tanker crews doing alternate 24 hour shifts on Q. The off-duty crew could then "enjoy" the various bars - which was probably the regime in force for most Beagles time at MPA. I didn't mind the Goose at all, because whenever we were over that side of the airfield it meant we were off-duty until 1600 the next day and could be as pissed as the next man.

Much prefer it the current way though. I'd rather get the det over with quickly instead of double the pain for the sake of a cumulative couple of weeks with nothing to do in the tropical paradise. Plus South America is only a phone call and 3 hours flying away:O Shame about the Vic though.

At least the management down there haven't imposed a two-can rule in order to keep their "operational :hmm: " theatre in line with slightly sandier (and actually operational) places.


16 B - Obsolete equipment banter?? Even Typhoon gets that!

The VC10 may be an obsolete airliner but the MPA frame now represents a worringly high proportion of total tanker fleet.

Solution - stick AAR pods on some C130s and then one crew and frame can do QRA, routine AAR, MRR, Comp A, South Georgia recce etc. As a bonus the frames in the UK can then be used for Helo AAR. Now which Herc shall we use - J or K? Of course according to different LYE sources one is obsolete and one is rubbish...... :ok:

...course, it's all been done before (albeit with a single, centreline HDU)...I think the main problems concerning the demise of the C130 tankers was excessive FI (that's fatigue index, not falkland islands!) and lower giveaway (from a single hose) than the 'mighty' ten. Although I'd like to see a -10 dropping HPs at Sth Georgia....
You'll have to wait for the A400 for a 'tactical' AAR asset....

I think the excessive fatigue on the Albert tankers was caused by the HDU and extra fuel tanks hurriedly bolted into the Cargo Bay, coupled with some years of operating at Max MOS weights in order to sustain the Falklands airbridge. A short bodied C130 with 2 wing pods and no extra fuel tanks (except perhaps Aux tanks underwing for a J) would easily have enough off-load for routine Falklands Air Defence purposes. Mind you, so would a buddy pod, or just putting the F3s into Lima fit. ;)

We shouldn't be talking about the damn place anyway. Its like old lags swapping prison stories after they've been released. :yuk:

Hello to everyone currently "inside" :ok:

Brain Potter
 

As a humble techie can I ask how you would cover the requirement (if there really is one) for diversion fuel for both tanker and receivers. I ask this after having spent many happy hours in the early - mid 90s refuelling/defuelling the C130 tankers up to/down from 88k at all hours of the night. Were we just wasting our lives??

I have to give all those MPA bars a :ok: I went down there twice, made some exceptionally good mates across the service divide, percy and crab. Don't think I could have named more than one or two of the bars although I stumbled into most. I hate drinking out of cans now but it was Dinger of 1312 and his gin that destroyed the most cells. Ah - strangely happy days!
Found myself horse trekking in the Andes a while ago and my guide's father was a regular on the other side at the time of the punch up. It is history even though a tad awkward as a conversation piece in BA. Funny where they built their memorial.

Market Gap
 

Agree with 16B on opportunities for improvement. What else is there? Tried Stanley as a social alternative during an earlier stint this year and met a man in the Globe. He was not local and was still relatively sober, but he announced that a few beers in Stanley was a return to civilisation and provided some company! He had been putting up a cabin for BAS on Bird Island, off South Georgia.
I think I'll stay inside the compound next time.