RAF VR(T) Officers in your Mess
 

Following on from the thread "Air Cadet Instructors", I am looking to gain advice from those of you in regular service.

Some critiscism is levelled at us VR(T) types when visiting your messes that we don't know how to behave properly, etc..

So, would any of you care to impart any advice?

I for one am confident that I behave myself when when I have the honour to be a guest in your messes, and always try to set a good example, but some of my colleagues who seem to lack training are asking what should/shouldn't they be doing???

I'm trying to pull together a briefing document so we can enlighten the masses.

obvious ones such as

Don't drink out of a bottle/can
Always stand your round at the bar
Don't abuse the mess staff, etc

already thought of... any more??

All advice/banter taken on the chin....

Get your hands on the latest Customs, Etiquette and Social Responsibility booklet from the IOT (or whatever it's now called) course at Cranwell, and read it alongside the rules for the particular mess you're visiting.

Not an exhaustive list, but a few observations from my 23 years of visiting messes and knowing what can really T off the natives - most are about basic courtesy!

• Don't wear / carry outdoor coats, hats or briefcases in public areas (ante room, dining room, bar, etc)
• Be considerate of fellow diners during meals - if at breakfast, recognise those who 'just wish to be alone' and don't try to force conversation
• If in a hushed anteroom, don't sit in a large gaggle, discussing the days camp events - if you need a 'work' type meeting, public areas are not an appropriate place (unless empty of livers in)
• Learn what the dress code is, when it applies and the meaning of any 'traffic light signals'
• Don't expect the bar to stay open until you decide to order the last round - if it is a very quiet night, the steward may wish to shut the bar early
• Don't hog the remote / channel hop in the TV Room if others are there
• If someone's waiting for the snooker table and you're just having a knock about / just having a very slow game, at least offer the table to those waiting
• Try to learn who the Stn Cdr / PMC are and what they look like - that way, you can recognise who they are when they appear in the bar in mufty!
• During Sqn beer calls, try to identify if anyone is hosting and ask permission before joining in - offer thanks at the end
• During happy hour, don't just try to buy rounds at half price and expect to get everyone else to pay when it's full price!! :D
• Try to learn something about the station, its roles and key issues, so that you can understand / contribute to bar conversations
• Learn humility / honesty!

As I say, most are just basic courtesies (but not all visiting staff seem to be aware of these).

Don't sit in the bar on a Saturday night with your laptop and files out and loudly plan your spaceys summer camp for that week. Respond to the hints we're dropping to stop working in the bar. :mad:

BluntM8 - good god - the bar is for relaxing in, not working in - that makes me mad!

keep them coming, this is good stuff, thanks!

ok - not sure on this one... care to elaborate what a beer call is and why someone would be hosting, and is it proper for "us" to ask to "join in", as we would be non-sqn personnel is this right?

Sounds a bit like crashing someones party uninvited to me?

RAF Officers' Messes
 

Not all RAF Officers' Messes are the same. I am a member of one of the largest, if not the largest and it has about as much military ethos in it as a travelodge (that's because it looks like one). When I joined the RAF (Oh Gawd here we go!) all the Mess staff were RAF personnel and the civilian stewards were not working for some cheapo contractor. Formal functions can still be pretty good but ordinary day to day life, well I'm not impressed and neither, interestingly enough, are many of our students - and it ain't necessarily the fault of the newly graduated officers either - some of the slightly older mess members could do well to improve their OQs. When most military officers were not commissioned from the working classes (which would have therefore kept me out!) any high spirits damage to mess infrastructure was 'fessed up to and paid for. Today, some people seem to think that they can make a mess and leave it for someone else to clear up and pay for - not how to behave at all! I'll stop now as I'm beginning to sound like some of my more senior (in rank) colleagues at Sleaford Tech.

Remember to 'Spoon one's soup away from oneself, lest it cascade into one's lap' (Always sound advice in my mess)

easy really,
talk to people,

integrate instead of staying in a group,

Listen not talk,

offer a drink or 2,

If at a beer call, club together and put on a barrel yourselves. Cost about £75. or put on half a barrel.

Don't be a know-it-all unless ur an ex- aircrew dude Chippy or bulldog flying don't count!

As you will need a place to talk over the days activities and tomorrow's plans, ask the mess manager if you can use the Ladies room; that is what its for. It is vastly underused and is where insurance touts, shirt salesmen etc hide at lunchtime in the fond hope that mess members will find them.

If you are all in there, shut the door and no one will find you!

If you ask the mess manager nicely (PAYD excepting) they may even bring you a tray of tea in there.

>>Remember to 'Spoon one's soup away from oneself, lest it cascade into one's lap' (Always sound advice in my mess)<<

I was always told that 'you pushes yer soup and pulls yer pudding?'

Regds

A

I don't have the answers you are seeking, but I assume goosestepping is frowned upon.

Do NOT use your mobile phone in the bar, anteroom etc. Deal with your calls and texts outside of public rooms. It never ceased to amaze me how many people thought that their childish ringtones or loud telephone conversations were somehow everyones cup of tea. Army officers in RAF messes were particularly guilty.

What an interesting set of observations. It is good to see that some old traditions (sorry are we (ex-)Crabs allowed traditions?) do not die. And a shame that some of these common courtesies don't spill out into other walks of life more often.
Vage Rot: just a small point, but, unless the rules have changed without my noticing, RAFVR(T) pilots doing Air Experience have always had to have been QSP at some time: they don't get a pilots brevet just because they are AEF pilots.
I have a lot of time for those who give up theirs for the ATC and CCF. Apart from several years during my own RAF service when I flew 'part-time' with a couple of AEFs and did some ATC/CCF Summer Camp flying, I had been a VR(T) officer for a couple of years between UAS and joining the RAF full-time; then the ATC was quite well resourced by the MoD and a fertile recruitment ground for both officer and other-rank entry to the forces. I suspect that the resourcing has fallen, but hope that the spirit lives on. Some VR(T) officers are ex-regulars, possibly there are still a few left who did National Service, but the others get a rudimentary few days of IOT: so please encourage and mentor these chaps.

PS: Since originally posting this I have seen the 'Air Cadet Instructor' thread. Good to see this discussion.

Don't wear / carry outdoor coats, hats or briefcases in public areas (ante room, dining room, bar, etc).



“……….And a shame that some of these common courtesies don't spill out into other walks of life more often.”


Why yes, that would make life so much more civilised, and SO sensible???????

To think I thought Mess life outdated in the sixties!

mgd,

I applaud your endeavour to learn how to fit in - equally though, beware being over zealous with this new found knowledge.

It has been quite some time since I lived-in but I still remember the irritation of having visitors (often, but not by any means exclusively, VR(T) officers) complaining about 'un-officer like behaviour' - usually after witnessing a boisterous happy-hour.

Perhaps most importantly, remember that you are a visitor and that others live and work (usually very hard) in that environment. You may witness some young men and women letting off steam like you have never seen before - this is sometimes (though admittedly, not always) the result of some extremely stressful experiences and is very important.

That you have the courtesy to ask leads me to believe that you will have no problem. Hopefully, your colleagues will also benefit.

Don't buy one Christmas Draw ticket, and win the top prize - or at least don't get seen when you pick it up! Wouldn't get overly exited about the whole behaviour thing HGD; given the MO of a few young Os these days - harrumph (of course I don't remember being young - surely I was born crusty?)

You are in the Officers Mess because you are priviliged, as are the permanent members of the Mess, to have been granted Her Majesty's Commission.

Yes; the Mess is the home of those who, for whatever reason, "Live In"; but it is also your home whilst you are on temporary duty at that Station.

Absorb what has been said in the posts above this (disregarding the malign and insulting) and remember that you are priviliged to be a member of "the Finest Club in the World".

Enjoy yourselves, and pass on your enthusiasm to the young men and women who have volunteered to be members of your Units.

Who let you in the Sgts'Mess?
Granted the female company is of the more mature and fuller figure variety, but the beer is cheaper and we generally behave ourselves (if we can stay awake).

God bless

We never had hi-jinx in our mess when I was in either Rev. I once found the SWO face down, fast asleep across the snooker table with a cue in his hand. Some wag had carefully propped another cue against the seat of his pants to hold him in place.
Now that's what you call gentlemanly conduct. ;)

Tips for VR(T) Officers in RAF Messes:

Flip flops are compulsory in the mess bar after 7.00pm in the Summer (but only in Lincolnshire).

Soup should be eaten using a staw (McDonalds straws are preferred for soups containing significant vegetable matter).

It is an RAF traditional that the during happy hour the Station Commander is addressed as 'Me Old Cock'.

Headgear is not permitted in public rooms ulnless the officer is on horseback.

I am sure my fomer colleagues will advise further little known mess rules.

C&B