Never eat yellow snow!!:p

Never get less than 8 hours sleep (nope, did that already, got kids)

Never sleep with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger anywhere on her body (oops, did that too, hence the kids and no sleep)

Never play cards for money with a guy whose first name is the same as a city (don't have time for cards 'cos of the first 2, guess I'm okay then)

I'll get my coat.....:O

Before going out on the juice downroute:

1. Set your alarm clock (or 3 if you are as paranoid as me).

2. Pack your suitcase, to expedite your departure the next morning having failed (1.).

Never drink anything you can't see through

...may I add:

3. Shave and dress in flying kit on return to Hotel. Sleep in same. So when you sleep through alarms 1-3, and the phone call from reception, you are ready immediate departure when your co brings the duty manager to your room with the master key....

16B

Never forget Murphys First law of Space

(The amount of possesions that you take will expand to fill 110% of the available space. Only you and your god knows where all this cr@p came from; you would fill a hanger if you had one.);)

Anyone want to start a Murphys Law thread?:}

Never ever, ever say "I swear it's not just bar chat"

Never **** on peple on the way up, cos you have to meet them all on the way back down.

Don't squat with your spurs on!

Always drink upstream from the herd!

If you find yourself in a hole....first thing to do is quit digging!

"Perception is reality"

Always lock the door!

(Particularly when drunk mates are around)

Never fly the Mk1, always wait for the Mk2!

If you plan to put a large round of drinks for Jag/Tonka mates on your editor's Paris-hotel room number, first check that said personage is not stood behind you at the bar.:( :)

Rules for the over 50's

1. Never pass a toilet
2. Never trust a f@rt
3. Never waste an erection

Remember:

1. We're here for a good time, not a long time

2. Warfare not welfare!

Always sterilise the zircon incrusted tweezers.

Never believe anyone who says "You don't need to know that", you will !!!.

Man with hands in pocket feel cocky all day!

..and don't drive over narrow bridges when you're pi***d out of your brains..

1. Never drink port after champagne.:yuk:

2. Never hunt south of the Thames (not difficult to keep to this one now :( )

3. Never make love first thing in the morning - you may get a better offer later in the day :E