Red Arrows - Value for money?
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What everyone seems to be missing is that the Out of Service Date for the Champion crisp is 2004, so we aren't allowed to even think about its replacement until 31/12/03.
Last edited by Big Cat Handler; 24th May 2003 at 05:09.
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MaxB
Will the new stealth packets be left or right handed opening?
Nah, bleedin packets won't open at all, especially in the desert. We'll have to bung a few million squids to H&K to get 'em to open properly. Meanwhile, Aunty Betty will have to lease German & Dutch paprika flavour jobs.
Will the new stealth packets be left or right handed opening?
Nah, bleedin packets won't open at all, especially in the desert. We'll have to bung a few million squids to H&K to get 'em to open properly. Meanwhile, Aunty Betty will have to lease German & Dutch paprika flavour jobs.
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Hang on - to what spec will these crisps be produced? You'll probably have to ensure that they conform to mil-spec, or next time you're running around with the mighty US-of-A, you could have interoperability issues.
Per Ardua ad Astraeus
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AAh! But WILL they have a 'DO NOT DISPLAY AFTER' date on them? Cannot have people turning up to see the 'Red Packets' and missing them.
PS FOBOTCSO - what position does Lineker fly anyway? Is it 'left behind'?
PS FOBOTCSO - what position does Lineker fly anyway? Is it 'left behind'?
Avoid imitations
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Replace crispy old things in red bags?
That's no way to talk about the world's favourite flying club!
If they were replaced by a holographic image generator and a surround-sound system, how would those manufacturers of second rate sunglasses, cars, etc get by without the cheap advertising?
This could also have a massive effect on the car rear window sticker industry.
And how would future plane spotters learn how to count up to nine?
The Red Arrows have always been the pride of our nation, in fact, our Golden Wonder boys.
Good grief, this is very, very serious.
That's no way to talk about the world's favourite flying club!
If they were replaced by a holographic image generator and a surround-sound system, how would those manufacturers of second rate sunglasses, cars, etc get by without the cheap advertising?
This could also have a massive effect on the car rear window sticker industry.
And how would future plane spotters learn how to count up to nine?
The Red Arrows have always been the pride of our nation, in fact, our Golden Wonder boys.
Good grief, this is very, very serious.
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This is all very well, but we will spend so much time discussing it and paying ex-Air Marshal directors for their out-of-date advice that the Americans will upstage us with the Digital Versatile Thundercrisp and have it in service by Christmas. It will be multi-flavoured, multi-coloured (sorry - multi-flavored, multi-colored) and cost half as much as the British crisp but it will look bloody ugly and won't have any credibility amongst European chefs. But the RAF won't get that one even if it meets their requirements because HMG will insist that we foster European relations by purchasing the feeble, underpowered so-called Multi Snack Euro Crisp, poorly adapted to the Offensive/Defensive/Inactive Potato Snack (ODIPS) role from a 1960s mock demo prototype Frog Jet Trainer Crisp. This crisp will spurn all the latest advances such as the new eat-by-wire technology favoured by the Japanese snack industry, preferring to remain firmly stuck in the analogue crisp era. The German snack industry will demand design leadership over the 27 participating European nations because they have ordered the most crisps, shortly before cutting their order by two thirds on the basis that the German national crisp is superior to every other crisp because it is German. The crisp's spec will be altered on a monthly basis during development as each air force sticks its oar in, its name will be changed every year as the European nations drop out to leave just Britain and Malta in the programme, it will arrive 7 years late, it will be 300% over budget and it will come only in garlic flavour because that is what the Frogs insisted on at the very beginning and we couldn't afford the extra £8bn to change it. In the meantime, the Frogs will have gone it alone with a swing-wing crisp which will look pretty but be too lightweight to do the job properly. So would it not be more sensible just to buy the Russian Revolution Comrade Crisp off the shelf as they have produced some good stuff lately without much fuss and could do with the currency?
Last edited by Zoom; 25th May 2003 at 16:29.
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Having recently received a one inch thick glossy report on the state of my company's premesis with regard to access for the disabled, I realise that it is something I hadn't considered.
Clearly, the packets will have to be fitted with special opening tags to allow those with any form of disability to their hands to be able to open them easily. The packets must also be printed with highly contrasting colours to benefit the visually impaired; all aircraft will have to be fitted with a hearing loop, to allow those with profound deafness to be able to hear the crisps - after all, the sound of crunching crisps is a necessary part of the enjoyment process.
In view of this, a specialist streering group will need to be formed, working closely with the various disability support groups to ensure we get it right first time. The new multi-building complex will have to be designed and built to allow free and easy access to all members of this group.
An additional study group will be needed, including specialist legal departments, to examine the multitude of laws and guidelines that must be considered and followed in the design, production and distribution of the finished product. A separate sub-group of specialists in EU legislation will also be necessary, to ensure that, when we hand over complete sovereignty and legal control of our country, we will not leave ourselves open to breach of European law. Similarly, if they product is to be supplied as part of any future joint operation involving the US Forces, another sub-group specialising in US legislation will have to be formed.
Finally, the new 50-building complex, with underground car parking, should be built and properly landscaped in an area with easy access to Central Government. A study should commence immediately to examine suitable 1000 acre sites in Berkshire to meet this criteria. Occupants of any villages re-located to allow demolition of their homes will need to be fully compensated, with additional large sums awarded to them for the inconvenience they will have suffered. However, it is recommeded that this additional inconvenience package should not exceed high 3-figure £millions.
Clearly, the packets will have to be fitted with special opening tags to allow those with any form of disability to their hands to be able to open them easily. The packets must also be printed with highly contrasting colours to benefit the visually impaired; all aircraft will have to be fitted with a hearing loop, to allow those with profound deafness to be able to hear the crisps - after all, the sound of crunching crisps is a necessary part of the enjoyment process.
In view of this, a specialist streering group will need to be formed, working closely with the various disability support groups to ensure we get it right first time. The new multi-building complex will have to be designed and built to allow free and easy access to all members of this group.
An additional study group will be needed, including specialist legal departments, to examine the multitude of laws and guidelines that must be considered and followed in the design, production and distribution of the finished product. A separate sub-group of specialists in EU legislation will also be necessary, to ensure that, when we hand over complete sovereignty and legal control of our country, we will not leave ourselves open to breach of European law. Similarly, if they product is to be supplied as part of any future joint operation involving the US Forces, another sub-group specialising in US legislation will have to be formed.
Finally, the new 50-building complex, with underground car parking, should be built and properly landscaped in an area with easy access to Central Government. A study should commence immediately to examine suitable 1000 acre sites in Berkshire to meet this criteria. Occupants of any villages re-located to allow demolition of their homes will need to be fully compensated, with additional large sums awarded to them for the inconvenience they will have suffered. However, it is recommeded that this additional inconvenience package should not exceed high 3-figure £millions.
