Ark Royal Sets Sail - Guess Who's on Board?
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Join Date: Jun 2002
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Ark Royal Sets Sail - Guess Who's on Board?
In the face of industrial action by members of the armed forces, the government has announced that the Fire Service will, as an interim measure, carry out military operations in Iraq.
The army, who have demanded a 40% pay increase on the basis that their job has become rather more technical since 1945, will begin strike action next Thursday unless a compromise pay deal can be agreed in the meantime. It is understood that they will spend their time standing around little bonfires, rubbing their
hands together and waving at passing vehicles who honk their horns at them.
Crack Fire Service personnel, highly trained in playing darts, brewing tea and sliding down poles, are understood to be on standby to take up front line operations. Using their "red goddess" vehicles instead of tanks, they will race towards Iraqi lines and attempt to annoy the enemy into surrendering by making a lot of noise and spraying them with water.
Can't claim responsibility for this, emailed by someone in the city.
The army, who have demanded a 40% pay increase on the basis that their job has become rather more technical since 1945, will begin strike action next Thursday unless a compromise pay deal can be agreed in the meantime. It is understood that they will spend their time standing around little bonfires, rubbing their
hands together and waving at passing vehicles who honk their horns at them.
Crack Fire Service personnel, highly trained in playing darts, brewing tea and sliding down poles, are understood to be on standby to take up front line operations. Using their "red goddess" vehicles instead of tanks, they will race towards Iraqi lines and attempt to annoy the enemy into surrendering by making a lot of noise and spraying them with water.
Can't claim responsibility for this, emailed by someone in the city.
Join Date: Aug 2002
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Well at least with the firemen their there won't be a shortage of people to wash that pesky Persian sand off the deck of the Ark Royal, or the Apres war entertainment just get a nice shiny pole for them
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Join Date: Feb 2002
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A government sourse has said that any pay rise for the "boys in green, blue and light blue" must be linked to modernisation of working practices.
For the Navy this means the two watch system will have to be done away with - "we cant have 50% of a ship's company asleep at one time". A reduction in the number of ships and personnel would be needed to fund any pay raise.
For the army marching everywhere was just outdated. The tank was invented many generations ago (but as of yet we dont have one that works in the desert) and this outdated mode of transport would have to be abolished (thus solving the problem of the naff british army boot).
For the Air Force it was stated how in WW2 the Lancaster could carry about 20 bombs, where as an aircraft like the Harrier could only carry 2 or 3 - a massive backward step. The Battle of Britain memorial flight is to be recomissioned as a front line squadron.
For the Navy this means the two watch system will have to be done away with - "we cant have 50% of a ship's company asleep at one time". A reduction in the number of ships and personnel would be needed to fund any pay raise.
For the army marching everywhere was just outdated. The tank was invented many generations ago (but as of yet we dont have one that works in the desert) and this outdated mode of transport would have to be abolished (thus solving the problem of the naff british army boot).
For the Air Force it was stated how in WW2 the Lancaster could carry about 20 bombs, where as an aircraft like the Harrier could only carry 2 or 3 - a massive backward step. The Battle of Britain memorial flight is to be recomissioned as a front line squadron.
