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Acronyms and other gobbledygook

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Acronyms and other gobbledygook

Old 13th Jul 2021, 23:34
  #61 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Willard Whyte View Post
Surprised workplace hasn't been replaced with workspace yet.
I assure you, in some workspaces it has.
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Old 14th Jul 2021, 08:47
  #62 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Willard Whyte View Post
Surprised workplace hasn't been replaced with workspace yet.
Soon to be followed by "wokespace", I assume? The one with the gender-neutral vegan canteen.
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Old 14th Jul 2021, 18:00
  #63 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by NutLoose View Post
all signing all dancing
Very inclusive of you, old bean..

We had a very old and bold MALM when I was a stude at Shawbury who used to see how long it took a buzzphrase used by a politician to filter down to being used by a staish at Monday prayers. A whole weekend was the record.

Off topic… but one of my (many) regrets in life was not buying a 1945 edition of “A Dictionary of Military Slang”. It was brilliant but also thirty quid in 1990 money. Beats all,of our current doublespeak into a cocked hat. And before someone offers me a pointer to Rick Jolly’s “Jackspeak” this was the original source. I’m not sure that was the correct name as a zillion drunken Googles haven’t found it.

Anyway, moving forward, at the end of the day, let’s press.
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Old 14th Jul 2021, 19:18
  #64 (permalink)  
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Sure it was 1945?


Amazon Amazon
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 05:28
  #65 (permalink)  
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From Germany, to go with Battlesphere, I give you…. Dimension Commands…


“The establishment of the command is one of the Key Elements of the Bundeswehr of the Future, a new vision for the country’s armed forces released by the defense ministry in May this year.

According to the vision, the Bundeswehr is to have more troops and fewer staff, more material ready for deployment and faster procedures. The control of deployable forces is to be strengthened by “dimension commands.”

These will exist for land, sea, cyber and information space, and air and space dimensions. Four inspectors, Army, Air Force, Navy, Cyber and Information Space, will lead the responsible dimension commands and train and provide ready forces.

The new Bundeswehr Space Command is thus the first urgent structural measure from the vision. Its establishment represents the logical further development of the Center for Space Operations.”…..
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 07:13
  #66 (permalink)  
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So in an effort to “have more troops and fewer staff” they start another command? Last time I looked. Commands had lots of staff, or at least they did in Strike, Support and PTC.
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 10:11
  #67 (permalink)  
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Does anyone else dislike "at pace" or is it just me? What's wrong with "quickly"?
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 10:28
  #68 (permalink)  
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Me too, and the trend in office-speak to use the word 'impact' instead of 'affect' really get my goat........ 'platforms' instead of 'departments' is another one.
We're getting old I fear!
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 14:22
  #69 (permalink)  
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I attended the first ever Merlin "M" Sup course at Westland Helicopters where we were issued 4 very large books, essentially covering every topic and system. In the first book was a list of all acronyms and such like, contained within. If you went to "MCA" (minimum crutchless area) it directed you to "see thong". Sure enough there was a "thong" in the list which then referred you back to MCA.
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 19:57
  #70 (permalink)  
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A fellow pilot used to have a very good term he used frequently to describe this stuff”.BAFFLEGAB”.
We walked out of a meeting once and his comment upon same was: : “Well, after the last painful hour, I must admit I know much less now than when we walked in.”

“If you can’t dazzle them with facts baffle them with bullsh*t.”
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 22:24
  #71 (permalink)  
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I recall an unlamented former boss of mine, proud of her MBA in Marketing Yuk Speak, telling my professional colleagues in a "how goes it" meeting to "wake up and smell the coffee!" Man was I embarrassed...
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 23:17
  #72 (permalink)  
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Posted 15 years ago!

TLAs are SOP TFN in THE RAF. SQNs and FLTs are to RTB to SHQ WIE. All SROs from OCA, OCS. OCOPs, OCENG and the CO for will, WIE contain nonsense. The overarching conceptual solution of this order provides an integrated operational architecture that will instil a balanced secure option to ensure a conventional communication capability that will combine historic prove systems with optimistic promising innovations to prolong the existence of MBA VMD (Verbal Mouth Diahorea)

can't put it any simpler!!

Last edited by cynicalint; 15th Jul 2021 at 23:43.
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Old 16th Jul 2021, 07:47
  #73 (permalink)  
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Brilliant chap, ordered already! Many thanks.
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Old 16th Jul 2021, 11:09
  #74 (permalink)  
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I had a Gp Capt who constantly referred to “much low hanging fruit” and always mentioned the need for “more traction”
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Old 16th Jul 2021, 16:34
  #75 (permalink)  
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"HR". From experience, about how long a planned short management meeting will drag on for if there is "Human Remains" participation......
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Old 19th Jul 2021, 07:59
  #76 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tucumseh View Post
MoD issues a book 'MoD Acronyms and Abbreviations - Definitions for terms and acronyms used throughout MoD documentation'. Over 21,000 of them in the 2014 version!


Shortly before I retired I was gobsmacked to learn of an MoD office, in Oxfordshire I think, which you can call up and ask for the formal MoD definition of any word or phrase. Think of the fun you could have...
Can't say I am surprised by that gem, Tuc!

I haven't been able to find an up to date online version of JSP 101 Defence Writing Guide (apparently the latest version was published in 2019?), but the UK Ministry of Defence Writers’ Handbook, Sept 2020 Edition, includes the following in it's opening pages:

"You should aim to write in a way that will be easily understood by your intended audience. Use clear and straightforward language – avoid unnecessarily long words, gobbledegook and jargon."

"Our publications need to capture all relevant information, whilst being concise with short, simple messages that can be read and understood quickly. Research has also shown that if you write using the plain English principles, your reader is more likely to retain the information for longer."

Additionally, the document quotes writer and philosopher John Ruskin (1819-1900):

"Say all you have to say in the fewest possible words, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will certainly misunderstand them.”

What a shame the senior officers have so much trouble applying official advice to their own trite, padded-out, meaningless, claptrap! Having served over 22 years in military aviation, I saw plenty of this written nonsense, and it increased during the last 5 to 8 years of my service time.

However, it is one relatively plain phrase that sticks in my mind, trotted out yearly in various forms by Very Senior Officers, along the lines of "The RAF faces increasing challenges in the coming year". I knew that just meant we were going to be doing more work, in various sh1teholes of the world, with less resources than last year. 🙄

But then we all know that so many non-military organisations are also replete with departments and/or people whose very existence, and fancy job titles, seem to be dependent on producing reams of gobbledygook and assorted effluent. Give a numpty bluntie a word processor, and their output will dwarf Encyclopædia Britannica, but tell you very little, if anything. My current airline employer is a good example of this.
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Old 19th Jul 2021, 09:06
  #77 (permalink)  
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In short, don’t be prolix.
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Old 20th Jul 2021, 04:24
  #78 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by NutLoose View Post
No, as opposed to the boss, Nutloose. Remember what the R in RAF, RN, and RA stands for? Technically speaking, she isn't their paid head, but some associated corporate entity would bank the profits. Serco maybe, or the Crown Corporation?
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Old 20th Jul 2021, 13:11
  #79 (permalink)  
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Remarkable how many people think something is an acronym when it's actually an initialism.
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Old 20th Jul 2021, 18:49
  #80 (permalink)  
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My boss emailed me and asked me to contact the RPC to get a ROM for a job on the airfield. I walked along the corridor and asked him what it was he wanted exactly. Reply, "Get hold of Babcock's and find out out how much so and so job will be." RPC being Regional Prime Contractor and ROM being Rough Order of Magnitude. What happened to plain English? Worse still, what is this latest affectation whereby people start every sentence with the word "sew" (as in needlework instructions)? Or it might be "sow" (as in seeds). Could be "so". In any case, complete waste of time and adds nothing to the conversation. On top of that, there's the latest fashion of making every statement sound like a question? - "So, we got here in like a minibus?" "Sow, I heard about it on the TV?" "Sew, sow the seeds 5cm apart?"

And Town Hall and Windscreen Tour. Utter keech (as they say north of the border).
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