Amusing Sayings
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Often in Jersey, but mainly in the past.
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"It's like trying to teach a Teddy Bear to knit."
"It's like trying to plait fog."
"It's like trying to plait fog."
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: UK East Anglia
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If Brains were dynamite he would not have enough to blow his nose.
Orderly Sgt comes into the JRM. "Ok who called the cook at cnut"
in the background under their breath. "who called the cnut a cook"
Years back in our office at the beginning of the politically correct era we were discussing homosexuality. According to a daily paper 1 in 10 were supposedly that way. There was 20 of us in the office. Jim chirps up. "Come on Eric when are you going to own up". Poor old Eric was the butt of all our jibes which we put down to banter. I am sure today we would all have got the sack. Eric was quite a large guy. One day we were doing a job in the hydraulic bay under the floor on the Nimrod. He got stuck. I put my foot on his head like the Monty Python theme. Oh shut the F up and get down there.
Apprentice looking for a bit of advice - "Eere Drag....." Jim again. "Hey its Mr Dragartist to you"
Several years later when I was working with the Army I was on first name terms with most of the soldiers who referred to me as "Drag" oddly enough their Junior officers would always address me as Sir or Mr Dragartist.
Orderly Sgt comes into the JRM. "Ok who called the cook at cnut"
in the background under their breath. "who called the cnut a cook"
Years back in our office at the beginning of the politically correct era we were discussing homosexuality. According to a daily paper 1 in 10 were supposedly that way. There was 20 of us in the office. Jim chirps up. "Come on Eric when are you going to own up". Poor old Eric was the butt of all our jibes which we put down to banter. I am sure today we would all have got the sack. Eric was quite a large guy. One day we were doing a job in the hydraulic bay under the floor on the Nimrod. He got stuck. I put my foot on his head like the Monty Python theme. Oh shut the F up and get down there.
Apprentice looking for a bit of advice - "Eere Drag....." Jim again. "Hey its Mr Dragartist to you"
Several years later when I was working with the Army I was on first name terms with most of the soldiers who referred to me as "Drag" oddly enough their Junior officers would always address me as Sir or Mr Dragartist.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Or my daughter at an HR meeting,
He couldn't count over 10 even if he took his shoes and socks off.
*she is so PC now she would never say that today.
He couldn't count over 10 even if he took his shoes and socks off.
*she is so PC now she would never say that today.
Gentleman Aviator
"It's like trying to herd cats."
"As jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking-chairs!"
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Dragartist you remind me:
At the beginning of a lecture the lecturer said that statistically one in ten people are gay. Now I have been told that the tone of my voice sends gay people to sleep.
At the beginning of a lecture the lecturer said that statistically one in ten people are gay. Now I have been told that the tone of my voice sends gay people to sleep.
Join Date: Nov 2012
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Another one springs to mind from my time at JATE. We had a pilot who particularly liked a drink. I know we all do but this was really to excess. On one occasion the Army Capt trials officer who had been in the mess the previous evening refused to fly on the sortie the following morning.
The phrase was coined " You are not allowed to drink within 50 yds of the aircraft or smoke 8 hrs before flying".
There was hell to pay. But it was swept under the carpet.
Same Army Capt who was of Punjabi extract but from Bolton. We were in the bar one evening after dinner. King Housains crew used to stay over when the King was visiting UK for treatment. These guys were only about 5 ft nothing. how did their feet reach the pedals. One of these guys exchanged Arabic greetings with a waving of hands. Said Indian responded in a Lancashire accent "ehy up lad" or something similar.
The next evening we took them out to a pub we used in Shilton Dip. One of these guys asked "do you like Ladies?" I did not twig but he was inviting me to take my pick in his hariem back in the desert
The phrase was coined " You are not allowed to drink within 50 yds of the aircraft or smoke 8 hrs before flying".
There was hell to pay. But it was swept under the carpet.
Same Army Capt who was of Punjabi extract but from Bolton. We were in the bar one evening after dinner. King Housains crew used to stay over when the King was visiting UK for treatment. These guys were only about 5 ft nothing. how did their feet reach the pedals. One of these guys exchanged Arabic greetings with a waving of hands. Said Indian responded in a Lancashire accent "ehy up lad" or something similar.
The next evening we took them out to a pub we used in Shilton Dip. One of these guys asked "do you like Ladies?" I did not twig but he was inviting me to take my pick in his hariem back in the desert
Join Date: Dec 2004
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Maybe done before (I'm thick skinned), but recently heard here from a German exchange officer:
1. We have never won a war since the formation of the Luftwaffe.
and
2. He'd rather his sister worked in a brothel than have a brother in the 'airforce'.
There must be more (not necessarily German in origin) out there........
Regards
Batco
1. We have never won a war since the formation of the Luftwaffe.
and
2. He'd rather his sister worked in a brothel than have a brother in the 'airforce'.
There must be more (not necessarily German in origin) out there........
Regards
Batco
"I've drunk enough beer to kill a civilian"
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Join Date: Nov 2012
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Don't force it get a bigger 'ammer
Reminds me of the time we fitted BOZ on the Nimrod watching an armourer fit the pylon pins. Nothing like Guy Martin and his Spitfire wing pins that expanded a tenth of a thou when held in his hand. These were driven in and being bruised to hell. no jiggling (a technical term) just brute force! they must have got them out sometime later.
When I nod my head you hit it!
Reminds me of the time we fitted BOZ on the Nimrod watching an armourer fit the pylon pins. Nothing like Guy Martin and his Spitfire wing pins that expanded a tenth of a thou when held in his hand. These were driven in and being bruised to hell. no jiggling (a technical term) just brute force! they must have got them out sometime later.
When I nod my head you hit it!
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Back in the 80s in our design office at Wyton we had a couple of Ex Avro chaps from Woodford. one had worked on the Anson amongst other things. He was scruffy git. We would occasionally go to the mess for lunch. On the menu would be "Soup of the day - Cream of Reg's tie".
Not sure if it is an age thing but life was more fun in those days. You took it and dished it out. We had the section sacrificial pillock. In the main we all got on and made some good friends.
Not sure if it is an age thing but life was more fun in those days. You took it and dished it out. We had the section sacrificial pillock. In the main we all got on and made some good friends.