Apocryphal Tales
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And another.
ISTR once seeing a parking ticket issued to a Wessex, pinned up in the 18 Sqn crew room in Gutersloh (late 70s).
The story went that while on exercise on the Causses de Larzac, the aircraft had somehow managed to find itself recceing the noodie beaches found down on the nearby coast.
It being a hot day, the crew decided a dip in the Med was in order, so put the aircraft down on the side of the coastal road and went for a quick swim.
On their return, they noticed something under the windscreen wiper, which turned out to be a parking ticket issued by the local constabulary.
Vieux Guillaume must have had a chuckle as he found the Wessex illegally parked, written out the 'papillon', then climbed up to affix the notice in the traditional position.
He probably dined out on the tale for years afterwards.
ISTR once seeing a parking ticket issued to a Wessex, pinned up in the 18 Sqn crew room in Gutersloh (late 70s).
The story went that while on exercise on the Causses de Larzac, the aircraft had somehow managed to find itself recceing the noodie beaches found down on the nearby coast.
It being a hot day, the crew decided a dip in the Med was in order, so put the aircraft down on the side of the coastal road and went for a quick swim.
On their return, they noticed something under the windscreen wiper, which turned out to be a parking ticket issued by the local constabulary.
Vieux Guillaume must have had a chuckle as he found the Wessex illegally parked, written out the 'papillon', then climbed up to affix the notice in the traditional position.
He probably dined out on the tale for years afterwards.
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Loosely connected to aviation
I recall a tale (told by a distant family member who was serving at the time) of an RAF Regt JO, who, on receiving his first mess bill on taking up an exchange post with a Regt from the Household Div, was required to present himself to the CO to explain that said mess bill would put him into severe financial straits. What with it's size and him being only a mere Flt Lt (with family an'all).
"What do you normally pay?"
"About £100 a month, Sir"
"So be it! £100 a month it is then"
And so, for the rest of his tour, his mess bill was exactly that, £100 a month!
Probably not true, but would love it to be as Uncle C**** always did tell a good tale....
"What do you normally pay?"
"About £100 a month, Sir"
"So be it! £100 a month it is then"
And so, for the rest of his tour, his mess bill was exactly that, £100 a month!
Probably not true, but would love it to be as Uncle C**** always did tell a good tale....
NutherA2 wrote:
Flying the RAF's last Tempests from a holiday island? Must have been some punishment!
Hope Ces C enjoyed it!
....the traditional punishment posting to tow targets at Sylt...
Hope Ces C enjoyed it!
Slight Diversion to Household Division, told to me by a Captain in the Blues & Royals on a very long night sailing watch
1980's: New Cornet, parents in trade (
), turns up at Knightsbridge Barracks in new Golf GTi, very nervous about his lack of private income. Day appears to go swimmingly, but at cease work he returns to find his new car missing. After a fruitless search, he seeks out the Adjutant.
"My car appears to have been stolen"
"'Course not, dear boy. You'll find it where you left it. I'll show you"
Outside, a Porsche is sitting where he left his Golf.
"Can't have you driving round in a Golf - lowers the tone - so I got you a proper car"
"But.., but.., I can't afford that!"
"Not to worry old chap; aware of your sitch...I got you a secondhand one"
The Adj put it on his Mess Bill in installments.
1980's: New Cornet, parents in trade (
), turns up at Knightsbridge Barracks in new Golf GTi, very nervous about his lack of private income. Day appears to go swimmingly, but at cease work he returns to find his new car missing. After a fruitless search, he seeks out the Adjutant."My car appears to have been stolen"
"'Course not, dear boy. You'll find it where you left it. I'll show you"
Outside, a Porsche is sitting where he left his Golf.
"Can't have you driving round in a Golf - lowers the tone - so I got you a proper car"
"But.., but.., I can't afford that!"
"Not to worry old chap; aware of your sitch...I got you a secondhand one"
The Adj put it on his Mess Bill in installments.
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Gut 70's. Heard a tale that some army guys were having a battle in the Naafi so plod take the dogs along and let them loose. Exit dead dogs thrown from Naafi windows.
True one and rather odd. I was at Crewe station waiting for a train one day in the dim and distant past when a young lady on the platform was being accosted by a drunken serviceman. He was in civvies but you just know when it's a serviceman. I went to her assistance and convinced drunken man that his future lay on the tracks as a train buffer unless he backed off. (Turned out he was a sailor).
I chatted to young and attractive lady, can't remember saying much other than my first name and I was off back to such and such a place, usual small talk. When I arrived back at my unit later that night I entered my locked room and found a bottle of Moet on my pillow with a note saying ''from the lady at Crewe'.
I've often wondered about that one.
True one and rather odd. I was at Crewe station waiting for a train one day in the dim and distant past when a young lady on the platform was being accosted by a drunken serviceman. He was in civvies but you just know when it's a serviceman. I went to her assistance and convinced drunken man that his future lay on the tracks as a train buffer unless he backed off. (Turned out he was a sailor).
I chatted to young and attractive lady, can't remember saying much other than my first name and I was off back to such and such a place, usual small talk. When I arrived back at my unit later that night I entered my locked room and found a bottle of Moet on my pillow with a note saying ''from the lady at Crewe'.
I've often wondered about that one.
When I arrived back at my unit later that night I entered my locked room and found a bottle of Moet on my pillow with a note saying ''from the lady at Crewe'.
I've often wondered about that one.
I've often wondered about that one.
She could have stayed but then again being as you have been such a gent you would not tell us
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It was actually around the time when the Milk Tray adverts were in their prime and I did get a certain amount of stick from gentlemen I thought were friends....
I heard from a man that knew a man that knew that she was the daughter of a high ranking officer on her way home from Uni. Which probably explains the entry into my locked room...
My Dad was on the board of Leeds Uni and knew a retired General who was something to do with it. (not the Crewe staion story) The General told him tales that Dad passed on to me that would make your toes curl...
I heard from a man that knew a man that knew that she was the daughter of a high ranking officer on her way home from Uni. Which probably explains the entry into my locked room...
My Dad was on the board of Leeds Uni and knew a retired General who was something to do with it. (not the Crewe staion story) The General told him tales that Dad passed on to me that would make your toes curl...
In the days before Health & Safety, I was part of a Milk Tray team during our Uni's Charity Week. For a donation, we would 'black up' and deliver a box unseen. Sometimes it just required a 'diversion' and a bribeable (or preferably persuadable) key holder, but abseiling off roofs or edging along window ledges in the dark were in the mix. Huge fun!
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
PS,
A friend of mine, a proper Cranditz officer (like BEagle) had a holding attachment with the Blues and Royals. Seemed to have a lasting effect; he retired as an AVM.
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
1970s, when RAF mess kit required the soft shirt for less formal dinners and a stiff starched wing collar shirt for more more formal occasions.
RAF regiment is providing the guard at Buckingham Palace. SOP is the guard commander has to be in mess kit to be called to attend dinner if a missing guest means numbers have to be made up. Junior regiment officer is called and dutifully attends dinner on best behaviour.
At end of dinner said officer is approached by Duke of Edinburgh and thanked for attending etc. Duke then enquires, knowing rules, why said officer is wearing a soft front shirt, did he not have a wing collar available?
"Oh yes sir!! But we were told they were only worn for special occasions!!...
-------------------------------------
Reference railway stations.
Back in 1960s, when uniform was worn for travel prior to IRA campaign, a Sqn Ldr detrains at Paddington enrolee to MOD and is accosted by a little old lady (LOL).
"You there!!", demands the LOL addressing the SL, "take my bags"; and marches off towards the taxi rank.
Slightly bemused/amused SL grabs LOL's suitcases and follows her to a taxi and loads them for her.
"Thank you", says LOL, "here's a shilling", thrusting a coin in his hand.
"No need", says the SL graciously with a smile, 'I'm a Sqn Ldr, not a porter".
"Oh, I am aware of that", says LOL with an equally gracious smile, "Junior officers only get sixpence!"
RAF regiment is providing the guard at Buckingham Palace. SOP is the guard commander has to be in mess kit to be called to attend dinner if a missing guest means numbers have to be made up. Junior regiment officer is called and dutifully attends dinner on best behaviour.
At end of dinner said officer is approached by Duke of Edinburgh and thanked for attending etc. Duke then enquires, knowing rules, why said officer is wearing a soft front shirt, did he not have a wing collar available?
"Oh yes sir!! But we were told they were only worn for special occasions!!...
-------------------------------------
Reference railway stations.
Back in 1960s, when uniform was worn for travel prior to IRA campaign, a Sqn Ldr detrains at Paddington enrolee to MOD and is accosted by a little old lady (LOL).
"You there!!", demands the LOL addressing the SL, "take my bags"; and marches off towards the taxi rank.
Slightly bemused/amused SL grabs LOL's suitcases and follows her to a taxi and loads them for her.
"Thank you", says LOL, "here's a shilling", thrusting a coin in his hand.
"No need", says the SL graciously with a smile, 'I'm a Sqn Ldr, not a porter".
"Oh, I am aware of that", says LOL with an equally gracious smile, "Junior officers only get sixpence!"
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RAF Upavon trialling various vehicles for service use, one of the vehicles that they trialled was a London Taxi. Which to be honest would have been a good acquisition.
Trouble was even though painted RAF grey with a yellow cheat line down the side and Royal Airforce emblazoned along the yellow band, every time it went down the local Railway Station to pick up XYZ it was filled with half of the local population telling the SAC driving take me to..... And they used to refuse to get out even when told it was one of her Majesties finest.
Trouble was even though painted RAF grey with a yellow cheat line down the side and Royal Airforce emblazoned along the yellow band, every time it went down the local Railway Station to pick up XYZ it was filled with half of the local population telling the SAC driving take me to..... And they used to refuse to get out even when told it was one of her Majesties finest.
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A well known story from the seventies...
A group of airmen manning a green goddess during a fireman's strike, all as keen as mustard to go & strut their stuff in front of the general public.
A little old ladies cat is stuck up a tree, so the intrepid airmen go on a pussy rescue mission. The most junior airman is 'Volunteered' to go up the ladder & face the hissing pussy, which is showing its claws.
The most junior airman eventually descends the ladder, hissing pussy in his arms & gives it the grateful old lady.
The junior airman nurses his minor wounds & the rest have the glowing feeling of having carried out a good public relations exercise.
The very keen airmen then drive off to their next mission, rendering the little old ladies pussy as flat as a pancake under the wheels.
A group of airmen manning a green goddess during a fireman's strike, all as keen as mustard to go & strut their stuff in front of the general public.
A little old ladies cat is stuck up a tree, so the intrepid airmen go on a pussy rescue mission. The most junior airman is 'Volunteered' to go up the ladder & face the hissing pussy, which is showing its claws.
The most junior airman eventually descends the ladder, hissing pussy in his arms & gives it the grateful old lady.
The junior airman nurses his minor wounds & the rest have the glowing feeling of having carried out a good public relations exercise.
The very keen airmen then drive off to their next mission, rendering the little old ladies pussy as flat as a pancake under the wheels.
There was a Puma story doing the rounds that someone rolled one (on purpose) and lived to tell the tale. An 'admirable' geriatric crewman used to tell it back in the 80s.
CG
CG
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Gz
It seemed the ideal vehicle to me, after all that was what it was designed for, cheap to run, carried a good load, plenty of pax room. Better than some of the junk we bought.
It seemed the ideal vehicle to me, after all that was what it was designed for, cheap to run, carried a good load, plenty of pax room. Better than some of the junk we bought.
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angled at GZ, a Puma never met that criteria
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Nut, FZ,
the black cabs, were procured at the instigation of Sqn Ldr Brian Tiller who as MT2a could see that Brampton were at times sending 2 cars to the railhead, often at the same time to collect pax. The taxi holding 5 was ideal so eventually Brampton had 2 of them. They became commonplace, and IIRC we had one at Gut, was often used to take the staish to functions where he wanted to reinforce his "Britishness".
When the Nissan engined variant appeared in the middle '90's it was clocked at 90 mph on the A1 (I had to deal with the speeding ticket that appeared)
PM
PS Not me driving!! One of my J/T techies.
the black cabs, were procured at the instigation of Sqn Ldr Brian Tiller who as MT2a could see that Brampton were at times sending 2 cars to the railhead, often at the same time to collect pax. The taxi holding 5 was ideal so eventually Brampton had 2 of them. They became commonplace, and IIRC we had one at Gut, was often used to take the staish to functions where he wanted to reinforce his "Britishness".
When the Nissan engined variant appeared in the middle '90's it was clocked at 90 mph on the A1 (I had to deal with the speeding ticket that appeared)
PM
PS Not me driving!! One of my J/T techies.
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Another Green Goddess story
Chip pan fire in civilian kitchen, Green Goddess arrives with very keen but minimally trained crew.
Into kitchen with (large-ish) hose connected to GG.
Cry of "water on".
Airmen has difficulty aiming and controlling the very strong jet of water but eventually puts out the chip pan fire.
Unfortunately in the process of correcting his aim the jet removed most of the kitchen cupboards from the wall and left the kitchen inches deep in water and looking extremely sorry for itself
Chip pan fire in civilian kitchen, Green Goddess arrives with very keen but minimally trained crew.
Into kitchen with (large-ish) hose connected to GG.
Cry of "water on".
Airmen has difficulty aiming and controlling the very strong jet of water but eventually puts out the chip pan fire.
Unfortunately in the process of correcting his aim the jet removed most of the kitchen cupboards from the wall and left the kitchen inches deep in water and looking extremely sorry for itself
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Re the story of the mess bill with the household cavalry. This happened to two aircrew chaps from Lossiemouth who were detached to London during the fireman's strike at the end of the 1970s. I understand that when they went to see the adjutant about the original mess bill, they were asked what their income was. When they told him what their salary was, the Adj then said - no, I know about that, but what is your income: he could not believe that an officer had no private means of support other than the hobby money paid monthly by the MOD.