You're havin' a larf'
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You're havin' a larf'
OK - right up front - nothing whatsoever to do with military aviation.....OTHER THAN I think this will appeal to "our" sense of humour. Enjoy!
Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness.
The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary." Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money. "Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.
We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"
"That is remarkable value" Michael comments. The barman says "I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 euro please". O'Leary scowled, but paid up.
He took his drink and walked towards a seat. "Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro." "I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please" Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame". "I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir" O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro." O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager". "Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please." O'Leary's face was red with rage. "Do you know who I am?" "Of course I do Mr. O'Leary," "I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!" "Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cents per second" "I will never use this bar again "OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro"
Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness.
The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary." Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money. "Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.
We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"
"That is remarkable value" Michael comments. The barman says "I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 euro please". O'Leary scowled, but paid up.
He took his drink and walked towards a seat. "Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro." "I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please" Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame". "I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir" O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro." O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager". "Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please." O'Leary's face was red with rage. "Do you know who I am?" "Of course I do Mr. O'Leary," "I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!" "Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cents per second" "I will never use this bar again "OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro"
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Does the bar have those god awful tannoys every 30 minutes, the ones for for phone cards? Haven't used his airline now for over 12 months, and never will again - the flights that have taken 'his' place have resulted in contentment and peace. Horses for courses of course - and I admire his style!
I admire his style!
Love the joke, though.
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I used his airline to get from Bournemouth to Alicante to see some family.
It cost more for the 2x bags than it did for 2x seats, including the exit row surcharge.
I get on the plane to find it is a bog standard (actually substandard interior) 737. With exactly the same overhead bins that Delta have in theirs. Into which my bag (and the wife's) fits perfectly - because it was designed to do so. Carry-on bags. Yet our bags are in the hold, because they use a ridiculously small carry-on sizer.
Wankers.
It cost more for the 2x bags than it did for 2x seats, including the exit row surcharge.
I get on the plane to find it is a bog standard (actually substandard interior) 737. With exactly the same overhead bins that Delta have in theirs. Into which my bag (and the wife's) fits perfectly - because it was designed to do so. Carry-on bags. Yet our bags are in the hold, because they use a ridiculously small carry-on sizer.
Wankers.
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If you get to the airport in time, remember you passport and boarding pass and dont buy anything on the aircraft, I don't see what people's problem with Ryanair is? Especially if you are only on the flight for 1 or 2 hours. If I fly with BA for an extra £200 I can have a free cup of coffee.
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The example I just gave!
My bag and my wife's bag fit in the overhead bins on a 737. Yet because they are larger than Ryanair's carry-on requirements, I have to pay for them to go in the hold. Those charges were more than the cost of the seats, even with the premium I paid for exit rows.
Nothing to do with turning up on time with the right paperwork (which we did). A short flight, less than two hours, but for Ryanair's dubious business practices, it would have been half the cost.
The ridiculous yellow interior, fanfare thing if it's on time, never ending questions about useless trip add ons when booking, all manner of crap they want to sell on the plane, their preference for airstairs rather than jetbridges, all of these I can live with. Deliberately ripping me off on cabin baggage, I dislike intensely. yet to get to ALC from BOH any other way would have taken a lot longer.
My bag and my wife's bag fit in the overhead bins on a 737. Yet because they are larger than Ryanair's carry-on requirements, I have to pay for them to go in the hold. Those charges were more than the cost of the seats, even with the premium I paid for exit rows.
Nothing to do with turning up on time with the right paperwork (which we did). A short flight, less than two hours, but for Ryanair's dubious business practices, it would have been half the cost.
The ridiculous yellow interior, fanfare thing if it's on time, never ending questions about useless trip add ons when booking, all manner of crap they want to sell on the plane, their preference for airstairs rather than jetbridges, all of these I can live with. Deliberately ripping me off on cabin baggage, I dislike intensely. yet to get to ALC from BOH any other way would have taken a lot longer.
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Love it 
Haven't use Ryan Air so can't comment on what the experience is like but I must admit it wouldn't be my first choice. That said there was a TV documentary recently which documented the rise of Ryan Air - he came across as a thoroughly competent operator, he certainly knows his market.
Tom
Haven't use Ryan Air so can't comment on what the experience is like but I must admit it wouldn't be my first choice. That said there was a TV documentary recently which documented the rise of Ryan Air - he came across as a thoroughly competent operator, he certainly knows his market.
Tom
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Maybe that's why I found it such an alien thing. I've only flown one low cost carrier before, BMI Baby, which no longer exists. That was just as crap, but with older aircraft. That market is just not for me, the odd trip I can tolerate, but it's so markedly different to what I am used to, it sticks in the mind, and not in a good way.
My market is Delta, KLM, BA, AA, etc. Where there are a myriad of connections you can make; a cancelled flight won't leave you stranded. They look after their best customers. Totally different to the Ryanair experience. I fly about 200K miles a year. If it were on FR, I'd have found another job by now.
My market is Delta, KLM, BA, AA, etc. Where there are a myriad of connections you can make; a cancelled flight won't leave you stranded. They look after their best customers. Totally different to the Ryanair experience. I fly about 200K miles a year. If it were on FR, I'd have found another job by now.
Last edited by Roadster280; 27th Aug 2013 at 16:26.
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If you get to the airport in time, remember you passport and boarding pass and dont buy anything on the aircraft, I don't see what people's problem with Ryanair is? Especially if you are only on the flight for 1 or 2 hours. If I fly with BA for an extra £200 I can have a free cup of coffee.
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siseman
I hope it doesn't go as far as some of what I hear about Ryanair and
see on TV re BMI.
But airfares needed to come down in Aus.
6 years or so ago, I was paying $700 - 1100 to Fly Melbourne to Darwin.
OK, weight allowances were not kept to, food and drink plentiful and free.
Now, I pay from $149 to $349 (if I am slow booking
), might pay excess
baggage if I am unlucky and cough up a few $$$ for drinks and eats.
I once flew Melbourne to Darwin return for under $350 TOTAL.
So I would take the second option any day.
I hope it doesn't go as far as some of what I hear about Ryanair and
see on TV re BMI.
But airfares needed to come down in Aus.
6 years or so ago, I was paying $700 - 1100 to Fly Melbourne to Darwin.
OK, weight allowances were not kept to, food and drink plentiful and free.
Now, I pay from $149 to $349 (if I am slow booking
), might pay excessbaggage if I am unlucky and cough up a few $$$ for drinks and eats.
I once flew Melbourne to Darwin return for under $350 TOTAL.
So I would take the second option any day.
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Courtney,
Agreed, he is an appalling little man who seems to thrive on negative PR, division, dissent and dismay.. so for that, for his sheer bloody mindedness, his oblivious nature, his absolute commitment to the bottom line and his relentless focus on succeeding and winning I can't help but doff my hat to him.
I won't ever let him fly me anywhere though, so what his parsimonious and money grabbing airline gets up to these days doesn't bug me anymore!
Agreed, he is an appalling little man who seems to thrive on negative PR, division, dissent and dismay.. so for that, for his sheer bloody mindedness, his oblivious nature, his absolute commitment to the bottom line and his relentless focus on succeeding and winning I can't help but doff my hat to him.
I won't ever let him fly me anywhere though, so what his parsimonious and money grabbing airline gets up to these days doesn't bug me anymore!
According to an article in the Daily Telegraph quoting Which? Travel here:
Watchdogs pan airlines for treating golfers unfairly - Telegraph
a 20kg suitcase costs £35 to check in with Ryanair, but just £29 to courier with SendmyBag.
The article gives other ridiculous examples where it's cheaper to send luggage by courier than take it in the aircraft with you.
Watchdogs pan airlines for treating golfers unfairly - Telegraph
a 20kg suitcase costs £35 to check in with Ryanair, but just £29 to courier with SendmyBag.
The article gives other ridiculous examples where it's cheaper to send luggage by courier than take it in the aircraft with you.
