TACEVAL stories
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: The Burrow, N53:48:02 W1:48:57, The Tin Tent - EGBS, EGBO
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Ladies and Gentlemen thank you for causing great anxiety in my two dogs who were baffled and perturbed by the sight of me laughing hysterically whilst reading this thread. Never having been in the RAF puts me at a slight disadvantage when it comes to some of the abbreviations and nicknames but it certainly doesn't spoil the enjoyment. Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading many more tales. 
PS - to whom should I send the vet's bills?
PS - to whom should I send the vet's bills?
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
"Unleash the dogs of war," said our doughty Regiment Officer to clear the protestors from the end of the runway.
Released the dog duly bit the first ar^e to hand. Our doughty hero needed a new seat to his pants
Released the dog duly bit the first ar^e to hand. Our doughty hero needed a new seat to his pants
Join Date: Feb 2006
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COC command operations centre
Jengo. junior engineering officer
Sengo senior version
HAS hardened Aircraft shelter
TACEVALS tactical evaluation (big exercise)
MINEVAL Smaller version
OCU operational conversion unit aka a training unit
DISTAFF evaluation staff specific to exercises
CPX quick fix often making you look like plonkers, ie CPX trench rather than dig one, 4 pegs with tape round and marked as CPX trench often found with people standing in looking stupid.... You get the drift..
Ask if anymore you don't understand..
Jengo. junior engineering officer
Sengo senior version
HAS hardened Aircraft shelter
TACEVALS tactical evaluation (big exercise)
MINEVAL Smaller version
OCU operational conversion unit aka a training unit
DISTAFF evaluation staff specific to exercises
CPX quick fix often making you look like plonkers, ie CPX trench rather than dig one, 4 pegs with tape round and marked as CPX trench often found with people standing in looking stupid.... You get the drift..
Ask if anymore you don't understand..
Last edited by NutLoose; 3rd Aug 2013 at 18:49.
Guetersloh, early 70's; TacEval team ordered evacuation of families, MT of all kinds loaded up with spouses and children, set off down autobahn to the west. On arrival at Kamener Kreutz, convoy turned round to return to station to find autobahn behind them jammed full of local residents from Guetersloh believing that the fall of the country was imminent. After that, all exercises were promulgated in local papers to avoid repeat.
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The Merc driver obviously didn't realise the W0 would have had no chance of hitting the Landy he was in with a stirling, let alone a passing Merc..
German view of a Taceval
Mid 70s Lyneham Part I Taceval - all the aircrew were corralled in the Route Hotel (World War II Temporary Accommodation, about as far as it is possible to get from a hotel and even further from anything vaguely useful as protection for WW III ).
The German Exchange Pilot looking around him, obviously completely bemused, "Now I know why you guys won the war - you practise chaos!"
Another time but a Pt II - scenario is to do with reinforcing Denmark but weather is closing in with visibility good for departures but way below for recovery. Staish (John C*******) to Taceval team "Your call as tasking and operational control. do we stop launching, returning aircraft will all have to divert? No answer from Taceval and the 15 minute departure rate continued unabated.
Another Pt II Taceval team closed the taxiway with unexploded bomblets. Staish (David A****) said no matter cordon the area off and use the grass. Taceval team "You can't do that!" - we could and we did, operations continued without a break.
The German Exchange Pilot looking around him, obviously completely bemused, "Now I know why you guys won the war - you practise chaos!"
Another time but a Pt II - scenario is to do with reinforcing Denmark but weather is closing in with visibility good for departures but way below for recovery. Staish (John C*******) to Taceval team "Your call as tasking and operational control. do we stop launching, returning aircraft will all have to divert? No answer from Taceval and the 15 minute departure rate continued unabated.
Another Pt II Taceval team closed the taxiway with unexploded bomblets. Staish (David A****) said no matter cordon the area off and use the grass. Taceval team "You can't do that!" - we could and we did, operations continued without a break.
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Liverpool based Geordie, so calm down, calm down kidda!!
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In 1980, Cosford of all places called an exercise. They shipped hundreds of us on coaches all over the country. I went somewhere down south (Chilwell?? Ammo dump), was issued with a pickaxe handle and 2 of us put in a hut next to an ammo bunker. We didn't see a soul for 3 days, no food and one waterbottle each, no sleeping bags, beds, torches or any kit actually!
After 3 days, an officer turned up red faced in a land rover, food and drink in hand and very apologetic. Everyone else had gone home, they forgot us..........
Trabant is of course autocorrect for landrover
After 3 days, an officer turned up red faced in a land rover, food and drink in hand and very apologetic. Everyone else had gone home, they forgot us..........
Trabant is of course autocorrect for landrover
Last edited by jayteeto; 3rd Aug 2013 at 20:15.
"Unleash the dogs of war," said our doughty Regiment Officer to clear the protestors from the end of the runway.
Released the dog duly bit the first ar^e to hand. Our doughty hero needed a new seat to his pants
Released the dog duly bit the first ar^e to hand. Our doughty hero needed a new seat to his pants
Last edited by sittingstress; 3rd Aug 2013 at 22:32.
Gutersloh deployment, Exercise Horrendous Farce.
As night falls the dispersal settles down to an evening of japing and baiting and all is quiet. That is until a Land Rover enters the site with headlights on full beam sweeping the dispersal and revealing the hides and equipment.
TURN THOSE LIGHTS OUT!!!!!! yells the rock ape commander.
The Land Rover continues sweeping the site with its headlights. TURN THOSE LIGHTS OUT OR YOU'RE ON A CHARGE!!! screams the rock ape striding towards the vehicle which is now parked in the vicinity of the mess tents. The lights go out plunging the dispersal into uber darkness. There then followed a slurping, slopping, sucking noise.
TURN THOSE LIGHTS ON!!!!! pleads the rock ape. The Land Rover driver obeys, the lights come on to reveal a Flt Lt floundering in the slop trench behind the mess tent, up to his medals in cold beans, congealed compo sausage fat and discarded baby's heads.
As night falls the dispersal settles down to an evening of japing and baiting and all is quiet. That is until a Land Rover enters the site with headlights on full beam sweeping the dispersal and revealing the hides and equipment.
TURN THOSE LIGHTS OUT!!!!!! yells the rock ape commander.
The Land Rover continues sweeping the site with its headlights. TURN THOSE LIGHTS OUT OR YOU'RE ON A CHARGE!!! screams the rock ape striding towards the vehicle which is now parked in the vicinity of the mess tents. The lights go out plunging the dispersal into uber darkness. There then followed a slurping, slopping, sucking noise.
TURN THOSE LIGHTS ON!!!!! pleads the rock ape. The Land Rover driver obeys, the lights come on to reveal a Flt Lt floundering in the slop trench behind the mess tent, up to his medals in cold beans, congealed compo sausage fat and discarded baby's heads.
Taceval - Norfolk - pre 1990.
Balloon went up, all reported to respective duties. A young un, with distinct orders not to let anybody "not authorised" into the COC was positioned. Keen and alert, he checked everybody's ID coming into the COC.
This one chap pitched up, looking respective in the rank of Group Captain, showed his ID to attain access. The guard, being alert to the brief, people may turn up with fake ID trying to get into the COC, thought that having no service number on the ID card was a fake, quickly wrestled the chap to the ground whilst shouting Guard Commander, Guard Commander.
A few minutes later, the Staish, hair ruffled, but none the worse for wear entered the COC and took over.
Nobody had told the guard that the boss didnt have a service number on his ID.
Balloon went up, all reported to respective duties. A young un, with distinct orders not to let anybody "not authorised" into the COC was positioned. Keen and alert, he checked everybody's ID coming into the COC.
This one chap pitched up, looking respective in the rank of Group Captain, showed his ID to attain access. The guard, being alert to the brief, people may turn up with fake ID trying to get into the COC, thought that having no service number on the ID card was a fake, quickly wrestled the chap to the ground whilst shouting Guard Commander, Guard Commander.
A few minutes later, the Staish, hair ruffled, but none the worse for wear entered the COC and took over.
Nobody had told the guard that the boss didnt have a service number on his ID.
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?
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In the days when the Buccaneer and Suffolk had a close acquaintance I was ground defence commander for 208. Once everyone had got their act together we decamped over to the dispersal on the other side of the runway and played our various games until endex. A few desultory attempted incursions; lots of very secret plumber work etc etc etc but usually no great dramas.
Until this exercise. The secret plumber activities had just been completed and we idly watched as four Wessex appeared from the north east. No problem - that was not unusual given that Stanford lay in that direction. Then two landed just outside our wire disgorging yelling cammed up thugs and two hovered over the centre of the dispersal while more cammoed thugs roped down chucking smoke grenades all over the place.
At that point I realised the utter futility of it all and ordered everyone to put up their hands and shout "Kamarad". I mean, a joke's a joke.
Until this exercise. The secret plumber activities had just been completed and we idly watched as four Wessex appeared from the north east. No problem - that was not unusual given that Stanford lay in that direction. Then two landed just outside our wire disgorging yelling cammed up thugs and two hovered over the centre of the dispersal while more cammoed thugs roped down chucking smoke grenades all over the place.
At that point I realised the utter futility of it all and ordered everyone to put up their hands and shout "Kamarad". I mean, a joke's a joke.
Battle Week in a tropical Paradise....me the Duty Agent for the Base....Real gun...real Bullets....real life Duty. Navy SpecOps Boat Unit crew dolled up in Camo...face paint...M4's with blanks. They staged behind an office building prior to staging a mock attack on the BOQ Mess....but were seen and reported to Base Security Police as "Prowlers".
The Call goes out to Patrol....as a "Prowler Call possibly Armed"....I back up the Patrol Units that responded....them one way around the building and me the other...guns drawn.....dark....and Confrontation....fortunately we got it sorted out before an exchange of gunfire between us and them.
If the Aggressors had been Filipino and not American.....it could have been a tragedy!
Seems no one had announced it as a "Drill" to those of us on Duty.
The Call goes out to Patrol....as a "Prowler Call possibly Armed"....I back up the Patrol Units that responded....them one way around the building and me the other...guns drawn.....dark....and Confrontation....fortunately we got it sorted out before an exchange of gunfire between us and them.
If the Aggressors had been Filipino and not American.....it could have been a tragedy!
Seems no one had announced it as a "Drill" to those of us on Duty.
RN officers were only issued Service Numbers in time of war, before the paybobs decided we needed something for the computers to recognise!
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Thanks to all of you who are contributing to this most entertaining and informative thread. It's no wonder I have this site in my "favourites" file on a number of computers.