You are old, Father William

[Zulu09]

One for the aged aviators. Back in the sixties there appeared in, I think Airclues (or it might have been Flight Safety, a marvellous skit on the title poem. I think it was of American origin and involved a discourse between a new and old pilot. The only line I remember was "In my youth said the sage, when we had to go off, we kicked tyres, lit the fires and away."

This has been bugging me for years and is one of a number of amusing items (like the Fred the Wheeltapper poster) that I wish I'd kept.

Can anyone remember it and perhaps furnish the full poem?

[Danny42C]

Zulu09,

Can't remember the poem, but the saying went on: "Kick the tyres, light the fires, last man off buys the coffee and we'll brief in the air !"

You're nobbut a lad, yet. Get some in !

D.

[NutLoose]

The best one I know about was a Puma coming out of ASF at Odiham, the pilot taking it on its air test was being over cautious and had spent nearly 45 mins going around the Aircraft with a fine tooth comb, he was peering up into the main sponson at the gear when the see off airman nonchalantly wanders up and asks the classic..

"Excuse me Sir, but are you flying it or buying it?"

[Basil]

"Excuse me Sir, but are you flying it or buying it?"

To which the response should be:
"Get strapped in; you're coming with me!"

[Wander00]

If it was on an RAF flight safety poster, hasn't Wg Cdr Spry opened up the poster archive - saw it mentioned on PPrune a few weeks back ISTR

[Royalistflyer]

I served in the Air Force (with a "Royal" in front). And while I was in it, I actually did a lot of flying - and of course with instructors. I have to say that it was the extremely high quality of the men that I served with that survives all these years. I lost touch with most of them, virtually my only contact being with a retired Air Vice Marshall who lives near me, and (until he died) with a survivor of the Dambusters and latterly via this internet site. But they were men of quality, real men, men whom I could admire, with whom I was glad to serve/serve under, men whom I respected enormously.

[NutLoose]

Oddly enough I am in contact with only one person from my time, I have tried to locate the poem, I have found lots of sites with aviation poems but not that one.

[pr00ne]

That's not a pre-flight, he's trying to find the way in...

[dubbleyew eight]

my favourite old poster was of the pilot and co-pilot walking out to the super multi engined airliner drawn all bright and shiny in the background.
pilot asks the co-pilot "have you ever flown one of these before"
"ah, no sir"
"me neither"

[Let's try that again]

Is this the one........................

"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "As I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "And your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"

[teeteringhead]

Not quite LTTA, that's the original by Lewis Caroll - from Through the Looking Glass IIRC - the one Z09 means (and which I also vaguely recall) was a parody of that one on a flying theme.

You will notice that the line remembered by Z09 fits the scancion of the original, which appears to be an anapestic heptameter spread over two lines [as printed above by LTTA]. :

In my youth said the sage, when we had to go off, we kicked tyres, lit the fires and away.

[edited to explain anapestic heptameter]

Means the rhythm goes di-di-dah (stress on dah) - which is an anapest - seven times over. Must get out more.

[Danny42C]

A variant of pr00ne's #8: dear old lady at airshow sees pilot doing a walkround, slapping panels, and asks passing airman "What's he doing ?"

"The pilot's blind you see, Madam, and he's feeling his way round till he finds the cockpit".

It gets worse.

D.

[BEagle]

I thought this thread was something about:

When men grow old and their ***** get cold and the tips of their ***** turn blue,

Looking back on life, 'midst struggle and strife, they could tell you a tale or two,

So buy me a drink...............

..................and a ***** named Eskimo Nell.