A bit of a laugh
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A bit of a laugh
Royal Marine Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet, even your friends
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
12. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.
SBS Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.
SAS Rules:
1. Walk 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd Lt’s; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.
RAF Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what’s on Sky.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Government with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine ’key’ MPs invite MOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tea-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.
RN Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines
****: A Definition
An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15-lb. weapon in his hand, having marched 12 miles, and says, "This is ****."
An Para stands in the rain with a 45-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from a plane and tabbed18 miles, says with a smile, "This is good ****."
A Marine lies in the mud, 55-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 miles to shore, crawling through a swamp, and running 25 miles at night past enemy positions, says with a grin, "This is really great ****."
An SAS Trooper, up to his nose in the stinking, bug-infested mud of a swamp with a 65-pound pack on his back and weapons in both hands after jumping from an aircraft at high altitude into the ocean, swimming 12 miles to shore, killing several alligators to enter the swamp, then crawling 30 miles through the brush to assault an enemy camp, says, "I love this ****."
An Air Force NCO sits in an easy chair in an air-conditioned, carpeted office in front of his computer and says, "My e-mail is out? What kind of **** is this?"
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet, even your friends
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
12. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.
SBS Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.
SAS Rules:
1. Walk 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd Lt’s; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.
RAF Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what’s on Sky.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Government with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine ’key’ MPs invite MOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tea-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.
RN Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines
****: A Definition
An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15-lb. weapon in his hand, having marched 12 miles, and says, "This is ****."
An Para stands in the rain with a 45-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from a plane and tabbed18 miles, says with a smile, "This is good ****."
A Marine lies in the mud, 55-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 miles to shore, crawling through a swamp, and running 25 miles at night past enemy positions, says with a grin, "This is really great ****."
An SAS Trooper, up to his nose in the stinking, bug-infested mud of a swamp with a 65-pound pack on his back and weapons in both hands after jumping from an aircraft at high altitude into the ocean, swimming 12 miles to shore, killing several alligators to enter the swamp, then crawling 30 miles through the brush to assault an enemy camp, says, "I love this ****."
An Air Force NCO sits in an easy chair in an air-conditioned, carpeted office in front of his computer and says, "My e-mail is out? What kind of **** is this?"
Lost it's credibility down the list after starting quite strong. First line of the RAF line of "Have a cocktail" is incorrect, there is only one Service into having 'Cockers Ps' and that is the senior one!
You missed on the SBS line 'Moan like an old woman if there is no water involved' and 'Dislike anyone in a red flying suit'.
Finally, in the RAF line you missed 'Leave early before the rest as the chicks dig flying suits...
' and 'Listen to constant droning about the unfairness of flying pay and why does it need officers to fly'.
LJ
You missed on the SBS line 'Moan like an old woman if there is no water involved' and 'Dislike anyone in a red flying suit'.
Finally, in the RAF line you missed 'Leave early before the rest as the chicks dig flying suits...
' and 'Listen to constant droning about the unfairness of flying pay and why does it need officers to fly'.LJ
Plagiarised from a US website, with a few rather amateur amendments...
E.g. in 'Royal Marines' 6., calibre is spelled the US way, in 'RAF' 9, 'tee-time' is incorrectly spelled 'tea-time'. Which is far too early for a pot of Earl Grey and some crumpets.
The original version is:
E.g. in 'Royal Marines' 6., calibre is spelled the US way, in 'RAF' 9, 'tee-time' is incorrectly spelled 'tea-time'. Which is far too early for a pot of Earl Grey and some crumpets.
The original version is:
Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet * even your friends…
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.
Navy SEALs Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.
US Army Rangers Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.
US Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.
US Air Force Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.
US Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet * even your friends…
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.
Navy SEALs Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.
US Army Rangers Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.
US Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.
US Air Force Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.
US Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines
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Some of the above are quite funny.
Leon
"and why does it need officers to fly'."
I know it was Army but the Apache display at RAF Cosford
was flown by a Staff Sgt with Capt Wales as Co Pilot.
Leon
"and why does it need officers to fly'."
I know it was Army but the Apache display at RAF Cosford
was flown by a Staff Sgt with Capt Wales as Co Pilot.
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Wasn't it originally to do with carrying Buckets Of Instant Sunshine?
Only Orficers were allowed to drop them, ohh and........... But I better not go there.
Only Orficers were allowed to drop them, ohh and........... But I better not go there.
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TomJoad,
I seem to remember, from a dim and distant past:
The army are led into battle by their Officers
The navy go in to battle with their Officers
The RAF send their Officers into battle.
Smudge
I seem to remember, from a dim and distant past:
The army are led into battle by their Officers
The navy go in to battle with their Officers
The RAF send their Officers into battle.
Smudge
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Last edited by TomJoad; 10th Jun 2013 at 21:57.
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"and why does it need officers to fly'."
I know it was Army but the Apache display at RAF Cosford
was flown by a Staff Sgt with Capt Wales as Co Pilot.
I know it was Army but the Apache display at RAF Cosford
was flown by a Staff Sgt with Capt Wales as Co Pilot.
In the army the officers have to ask their NCOs what they should do so they may as well go and do it themselves
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An Air Force NCO sits in an easy chair in an air-conditioned, carpeted office in front of his computer and says, "My e-mail is out? What kind of **** is this?"
I bet he is an interesting NCO to be around...
G
I bet he is an interesting NCO to be around...
G
All officer crews:
I did the Q-A-VUL course (Vulcan airframes) at Waddo in 1973 prior to my posting to Akrotiri, on Lightnings
The instructor, a chap called George Anthony (Chf Tech) explained to me why the V Bombers had all officer crews as opposed to the C130 I was moving from.
It seems that the Vulcan, as the other Vs, had a problem in that the pressurisation system had a couple of different settings normal/ combat, where it had been found that changes (in pressurisation) could lead to an efflux of gastric gasses from cabin occupants. It was decided, at high level, that this scenario was incompatible with maintaining dignified relations between Commissioned and Non Commissioned Aircrew. It was therefore decided that the Vs would carry all Commissioned Crew.
Funnily, Avro had foreseen this problem and designed the cabin conditioning system with a unit called the "oofle foofle" valve. The sole purpose of this valve was to ensure that any offending odorous eruption, anywhere in the cabin, was instantly distributed at all stations at the same time. No one could have the finger pointed as being the perpetrator and therefore crew harmony was maintained.
funny thing was, there was even a question on it in the end of course exam. I'm sure all the ex V force guys can confirm this.
Smudge
I did the Q-A-VUL course (Vulcan airframes) at Waddo in 1973 prior to my posting to Akrotiri, on Lightnings
The instructor, a chap called George Anthony (Chf Tech) explained to me why the V Bombers had all officer crews as opposed to the C130 I was moving from.It seems that the Vulcan, as the other Vs, had a problem in that the pressurisation system had a couple of different settings normal/ combat, where it had been found that changes (in pressurisation) could lead to an efflux of gastric gasses from cabin occupants. It was decided, at high level, that this scenario was incompatible with maintaining dignified relations between Commissioned and Non Commissioned Aircrew. It was therefore decided that the Vs would carry all Commissioned Crew.
Funnily, Avro had foreseen this problem and designed the cabin conditioning system with a unit called the "oofle foofle" valve. The sole purpose of this valve was to ensure that any offending odorous eruption, anywhere in the cabin, was instantly distributed at all stations at the same time. No one could have the finger pointed as being the perpetrator and therefore crew harmony was maintained.
funny thing was, there was even a question on it in the end of course exam. I'm sure all the ex V force guys can confirm this.Smudge
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I heard a story (already related elsewhere on Pprune) that an army officer was being shown around one of the RAF fast jets. The only question from the army officer was "where does your driver sit?"
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After going u/s on start once, I wandered over to the stick commander to explain that there was a problem with the hydraulic system and that there would be a two hour delay.
He replied "do you guys not DI your vehicles in the morning!!"
I could not make my look of disbelief any more obvious.
He replied "do you guys not DI your vehicles in the morning!!"
I could not make my look of disbelief any more obvious.