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Infamous metmen/women

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Infamous metmen/women

Old 22nd Nov 2012, 00:33
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RAAF in MALAYSIA in the 1970's

Those who were on the weekend bus trip to Hatyai from RAAF Butterworth sometime in 1977 will never forget Larry McG and his antics in the hotel lift and later the pool. Back in the office his forecasts were not always as near the mark as he was on the trip.

From the same era was Lance C who arrived without the benefit of a visit to OTS and took the uniform items as a mix and match fashion opportunity which made a serious inroad to the WOD's health.

Further south, in 1974, on the anniversary of the Battle of the Coral Sea, Bernie McE (not the ex USN chap) briefed the historic RAAF Amberley weather for that day and noted, after 25 minutes, "today will be the same". He was spot on.

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Old 22nd Nov 2012, 10:36
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One recalls a characteristically funny occasion with "Dave the Met" (can't recall real name) at Shawbury in (??) late 70s early 80s.

One of the CFS Flt Cdrs - known as FLUFF - had a weekend cottage or flat in France (Brittany?) and never lost an opportunity of reminding us all that he had it. So at the end of Friday's Met Brief he would invariably ask at "Any Questions" - "What's the weekend weather going to be like in Brittany?"

Dave puts lovingly prepared, gothic lettered Letraset OHP slide on with the immortal words:

"Haven't a Fing Clue John!"

...he never asked again....
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Old 22nd Nov 2012, 10:51
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Quote: George Stevenson was an absolute LEGEND.

One of the hairy old assistants at Topcliffe accepted a lift with G and his 6 year-old son to a football match.

He came in next day chastened, shocked even. The son was apparently conversant not only with Swahili and Urdu but also Anglo-Saxon. George lived two doors from me in Thirsk and we could sometimes catch the odd burst of invective on the wafting breezes.

Another Topcliffe character was Lol, an old old assistant, never shaven, never couth. Was marched to Guardroom in small hours by new snowdrop ..... Lol never bothered with his pass "they all know me" and so he was "found asleep by the radiator in the Met Office window and could not account for himself". Fortunately the other copper or his dog recognised this tramp-like figure, so back to "work".

Then there was Wiggy at St Mawgan. If he turned his head sharply, the wig stayed put with reference to spatial coordinates on the shiny underlay by virtue of inertia.

Last edited by langleybaston; 22nd Nov 2012 at 10:52.
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Old 22nd Nov 2012, 13:12
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I'm sure there was a Nige the Wrong at Cranwell too. Or was it Fenton (in the 90s)

Or how about Johnny Holmes at Finningley??!! He never understood how we puerile student pilots giggled when he came in the class. Not knowing that his name-sake was the infamous porn star. Allegedly...
Told him on the last day of groundschool. He seemed quite pleased! Never told him how I pilfered the met exam, mind....
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Old 22nd Nov 2012, 13:37
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Ken the Met - still there early 80s!
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Old 22nd Nov 2012, 14:07
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Leon @ #29 ... I see your Scorchio! and raise you a nice occluded front

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Old 22nd Nov 2012, 15:09
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Officer Harvey doubled as a forecaster .................

Night shifts only.

And only when I was on duty.

Now, where were we?
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Old 22nd Nov 2012, 19:09
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In the not-too-distant past I had the pleasure of being on det with a charming Met lady rejoicing in the nickname of "Back Door B****", for reasons I've never fathomed....
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Old 22nd Nov 2012, 19:47
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Mr Langley Sir,

I suppose I had better nominate Glide Senior for the infamy side of the list. He only had one really important forecast to get right - my wedding - and, shall we say, 'twas not his finest hour!!!!! Seaweed and pine cones ignored that day!


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Old 23rd Nov 2012, 01:24
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CoffmanStarter. I would say that was a warm occlusion.Bert Marsden, Met instructor CATC Hurn '71 ish mentioned that it was the worst sort. He never exlained why, though.

Last edited by GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU; 23rd Nov 2012 at 01:26. Reason: Bloody WIN 98 Computer 'coz the sodding XP one's crashed again!
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Old 23rd Nov 2012, 16:01
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Its the Anticyclops you need to watch out for.

My best Met story was told by a pilot as advice to sort out his nav.

The way he told it, if you were lost:

1. Find out where the Low is.

2. Stand with back to wind.

3. Deduce which hemisphere you are in.

Regarding garish ties and waistcoats, the current trophy holder is probably Eric Buckley, currently or recently SMeto Coningsby.

As an afterthought, in my time, we had amongst us a

Mr Flood

Mr Frost

Mr Gale

Mr Waterfall

and Mr Snow.

Not many appropriate surnames for aircrew ...... Mr Thrust I suppose, Mr Gear, Mrs Flap ...........

Last edited by langleybaston; 23rd Nov 2012 at 16:04.
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Old 23rd Nov 2012, 16:35
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Thorney 1967; met instructor on the ground school, Mr Cruikshank IIRC, dished out notes for every leg, worldwide, a transport aircraft was likely to fly. So heavy you could hardly lift them!

No need to swot for the met exam as he allocated marks according to rank; so Plt Off (me ) got 65%,then increments up to Wg Cdr who got 90%!

At Gaydon in '66 the met instructor, whose name escapes me, was asked why he always walked,instead of running, from the tea room back to the classrooms even when it was teeming with rain. 'Ah' he replied,'You obviously haven't had the Doppler effect lecture yet'.

Last edited by Brian 48nav; 24th Nov 2012 at 15:49. Reason: addition
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Old 24th Nov 2012, 19:46
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Eric Buckley! Used too, maybe still does, race nitro-fuel drag bikes! Respected forecaster, mad as a fish, but a top bloke!
Old 25th Nov 2012, 01:01
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I remember B***e S*****t giving met briefs one late summer on Op TELIC. The shamal was up every few days and the majority of his brief would be about 'dust' and 'sources of dust'. His lisp made this somewhat amusing, particularly as the Little Britain 'high in fat, low in fat, dust', 'anyone, anyone, dust?' was in currency at the time.
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Old 25th Nov 2012, 15:05
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Had a great reunion this week .........

Dave Taylor ex Marham, Shawbury, St Mawgan, ex MMU Falklands, ex CMetO STC
Brian Wharton ex Wyton, Wildenrath, Detmold, Waddington
Dave Richardson ex Finningley, Shawbury and a lot of Civil
Tom Besford ex Coningsby, Leuchars, Bawtry,
Ian Smith ex Waddington admin
Tony Geordie Armstrong ex MMU just retired, Queen's Commendation
Maureen Phillips, George's widow [George ex STC, HQRAFG and Adjt MMU and Falklands] and wives where applicable.

Of corse these "ex-"s are a sample: most people in a 40 year career averaged a move every three years, never mind detachments, which came thick and fast in formative years, much as RAF but a tad slower.

All at Queen's Head A17 Sleaford, where we have our annual headcount. Many reputations trashed, world's problems sorted.
Great pub, great company.

And thanks to contributors above, a goodly number of memories out there.

Last edited by langleybaston; 25th Nov 2012 at 16:41.
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Old 25th Nov 2012, 17:22
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And it's Dave Taylor who was the star of my post No 42 above ....
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Old 25th Nov 2012, 19:23
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Do you know he denied it over a sherbet or two only yesterday!

Can't trust anybody these days!
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Old 26th Nov 2012, 18:04
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1970's Middle Wallop - had to be Harold F Boardman! years later was issued with the great man's 'Met for twonks' book at RAF Lyneham.

RAF Northolt 2003 - bloody lovely dark haired lady working for Ian the Met (from RAF Odiham circa 1974), wow she made occluded fronts become warm fronts........
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Old 6th Dec 2012, 20:17
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Brian 48Nav


I've been trying to remember that Cruickshank's name for years.
I clearly must have held the exhaulted rank of F/O given the 67% bestowed!

My story relates around a 65 Percenter in the front row who courageously fell asleep during Cruickshakies appalling, mind numbing, lecture delivery.
Our hero's great fortune was to uncontrollably slumber alongside the the fabulous " Bonzo" Von Haven. US exchange War veteran.

" Wake that man up" screeched the Cruickshank skull to Bonzo.

" You put the ****er to sleep- YOU wake him up!- was Bonzo's memorable response.

An early departure to the pub followed. What a class act was dear Bonzo , now sadly in the clouds, no doubt tweaking the Pantomime Cruickshank.
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Old 7th Dec 2012, 15:47
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During my attempts to teach student pilots and, later, navigators, I came across a fair few characters, but I suspect that "my generation" of instructors were much nearer the pupil's ages and outlook and education than 10 years earlier. I can honestly say that I enjoyed the experience.
The likes of Chunky Chandler and Cloudy ?? were pretty dire as colleagues, never mind teachers. I took over from Cloudy, who gave me a pile of dusty, mouldering Visual aids and handouts and said I needed just to follow the script and no harm would come by me. Binned the lot.
The other thing was that we were GIT-trained: the short course at RAF Upwood was brilliantly good, and I often think that a similar facility would help many young school-teachers these days.
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