Nimrod Toaster

[Sun Who]

Can anyone help me with details of the Nimrod toaster requirements capture debacle?
I'm referring to the instance when the kipper fleet expressed a requirement for a toaster that could service the needs of an MR1 (2?) crew and ended up with a toaster with a certain number of slots blanked out? I tried to use it as an example to a colleague of a poorly expressed requirement but wasn't in possession of sufficient facts to make the point I'd intended.

Sorry to be vague/obscure but I hope those in the know will understand what I'm on about.

Thanks in advance,

Sun.

[Trim Stab]

I tried to use it as an example to a colleague of a poorly expressed requirement but wasn't in possession of sufficient facts to make the point I'd intended.

Sorry to be vague/obscure but I hope those in the know will understand what I'm on about.

Was it you who wrote the requirement?

[Pontius Navigator]

Sun Who, sounds like the toaster I had modified at Wittering.

As you may know, Wittering is one of the oldest RAF messes. I was member and we had lots of electrical problems. Bar lights would last no more than 2-3 weeks. The industrial toaster would blow the fuses. PSA would . . . well not a lot.

I took the toaster down to workshops and they disconnected one element dropping it from 3300 watts to just under 3000; that did the trick.

In the Nimrod case it might have been power or maybe the offending slots were in the air path to the smoke detector?

[HTB]

On an unnamed sqn on an unnamed RAFG base near the Dutch border, the JJP was tasked with buying a new toaster for the crewroom.

After a bit of market research he found an excellent value, multi-slot, modern looking super dooper toaster. Only one small snag, it was bought in a nearby small US facility that had not yet adopted multi-voltage electrical equipment.

It turned out to be the fastest toaster we had ever seen, producing perfect toast in short order...but only lasted about two minutes before going into total meltdown. Oh how we laughed (he was my pilot at the time).

Mister B

[camelspyyder]

this is heresay but...

The nimrod had an 8-slice dualit type toaster - so big it took up half the galley table.

It is my understanding that the crews asked for a 4 slice toaster instead - mostly to save some space.

Therefore the 8 slice monster was withdrawn, and some time later the new 4 slicer was issued -

It was the 8 slice model with a blanking plate welded over 4 slots...

CS

[Rigga]

You can't make those things up!

In the early 90s when Laarbruch was becoming a hovering station - the ex-20 Sqn hangar (soon to be 18s new abode) was refurbished and a new Groundcrew crewroon was added to the old tin hut, complete with new kitchen, washing and toilet facilities all built by local contractors to drawings made up by the newer version of the Ministry Of Public Blunders & Wonders.
The extension was completed on time and possibly within budget - and handed over to the Station - and all appeared well until the sign on the gents toilet was noticed....queries were raised but the sign was correct and in keeping within the specifications on the drawings which required a sign suitable for the gents toilet...the sign read:



"Suitable for the Gents Toilet"

[si.]

This thread reminds me of when our gliding school was issued with a new Sherpa minibus. The station had recieved 10 white buses, and one red. Deciding they didn't look 'Civvy' enough, the MTO had them all returned and resprayed various colours.

Ours returned sprayed white.....

[BBadanov]

Years ago in the RAAF, squadron execs (well at least the CO, i.e. RAF OC) had a Holden car/station wagon for his personal use. But the vehicle came from the factory with a standard car radio fitted.

Now humble air force employees were not entitled to a car radio in a vehicle, so the factory was contracted to remove them.

I believe the cost of removal was $300 per vehicle! Who writes these contracts!! ...and now, back to the Nimrod toaster...

[dervish]

I believe the cost of removal was $300 per vehicle! Who writes these contracts!!

The BOWMAN Personal Role Radio was the same. We paid to de-modify them in the factory when everyone else just bought the basic model. It practically doubled the cost.

[Wensleydale]

I believe that it was the mess at Waddington where it was specified that all rooms were to be fitted with a standard BT phone socket - and they were, except that the sockets were not connected to anything!

[TorqueOfTheDevil]

Not unlike the factory which, by the end of the Battle of Britain, had produced just enough AA weapons to defend itself. Or the signals unit in St Helena (or was it another Atlantic island?) whose sole purpose was to guide in the flying boats which brought supplies for the signals unit...

[teeteringhead]

Bit like the SHARs in the Adriatic during Balkan unpleasantnesses various (allegedly).

Without them, we couldn't have provided Air Defence for the carrier ......

[Miles Magister]

The toasters supplied for the galley were the same catering ones as used in the messes. Large and bulky 4 hole toasters. They were too large so they were withdrawn and smaller 2 hole toasters requested. The original catering toasters were reissued with 2 of the slots covered up by a metal blanking plate.

MM

[Dan Winterland]

Be careful about how you word your instructions!

[Pontius Navigator]

Dan, cue BEagle and that photograph again

[Melchett01]

Cue BEagle and what photo - this one?



Well may as well get it out of the way, it was only going to reappear in 8 days time anyway

[WE Branch Fanatic]

Bit like the SHARs in the Adriatic during Balkan unpleasantnesses various (allegedly).

Without them, we couldn't have provided Air Defence for the carrier ......

So SHAR did not participate in NATO operations to enforce the no fly zone, or do any ground attack or reece roles then? I'm sure that there is a story somewhere involving a SHAR nearly getting a kill against a Seb/Yugoslav jet.

After a bit of market research he found an excellent value, multi-slot, modern looking super dooper toaster. Only one small snag, it was bought in a nearby small US facility that had not yet adopted multi-voltage electrical equipment.

It turned out to be the fastest toaster we had ever seen, producing perfect toast in short order...but only lasted about two minutes before going into total meltdown. Oh how we laughed (he was my pilot at the time).

Does he now work in procurement?

Back in 1993, the BBC Panorama programme investigated health and safety (and related) issues at AWE Aldermaston. It expressed concern over some waste processing facilities. In the 1980s there had been a great deal of building work to produce new facilities to produce Trident warheads. However, there had ben a costly delay...

As part of commissionnig the plant, it had to be tested. To save money, someone decided to use tap water instead of deminrealised. Result - plant ruined, rebuild needed.

Lots of examples from civvy life too - such as the company that decided to issue senior staff with laptops to increase prodictivity, but then decided to secure them to decks to prevent them from being removed.

[PTT]

It's not fun when the bait is taken so easily

[teeteringhead]

It's not fun when the bait is taken so easily

.... true old thing.

And even when the "banter ident" () was illuminated .....

But mayhap WEBFoot is a bot which posts automatically, recycling previous posts, whenever it detects the word "SHAR" .....

[Pontius Navigator]

TH, there may be one for any allusions to that picture too.