Being offered to buy my fathers and great uncles medals back.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: England
Posts: 908
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Being offered to buy my fathers and great uncles medals back.
I won't waste your time giving you the vial history of the woman my late father had the misfortune to meet, and share his final few years with but i need your help.
Said serial marriage breaker and taker has made an offer to us, as she is the beneficiary of my late fathers whole estate and chattels. The offer is to buy my late fathers long service medal and other medals belonging to my great uncle who was a pilot in the RFC, from her!!!!!!!
Is there anything you can think of that makes said medals etc the rightful inheritance of our "family" or are we simply sunk on this. All chattels were left to this witch. Part of Amy Johnsons tailplane(signed) was in the roof but has since disappeared!!!!
I know this seems like irrelevant niff naff to most considering what's going on in the world, but my dad spent nearly 40 years working for the RAF mostly at RAF Wroughton, some as a contractor and finished at RAF Headley Court.
Warrant Officer John Townsend RIP
Any help appreciated
Said serial marriage breaker and taker has made an offer to us, as she is the beneficiary of my late fathers whole estate and chattels. The offer is to buy my late fathers long service medal and other medals belonging to my great uncle who was a pilot in the RFC, from her!!!!!!!
Is there anything you can think of that makes said medals etc the rightful inheritance of our "family" or are we simply sunk on this. All chattels were left to this witch. Part of Amy Johnsons tailplane(signed) was in the roof but has since disappeared!!!!
I know this seems like irrelevant niff naff to most considering what's going on in the world, but my dad spent nearly 40 years working for the RAF mostly at RAF Wroughton, some as a contractor and finished at RAF Headley Court.
Warrant Officer John Townsend RIP
Any help appreciated
Last edited by tonker; 17th Aug 2010 at 15:51.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Swamp Land in East Anglia
Posts: 69
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
What a shocking story - Sadly the help I could offer at the moment would be construed as slightly illegal!
It never ceases to amaze me the level some people stoop too - and although I don’t wish to start an argument but it is normally women who can be the cruellest in such matters either as ex wives or partners of family members in this case.
It never ceases to amaze me the level some people stoop too - and although I don’t wish to start an argument but it is normally women who can be the cruellest in such matters either as ex wives or partners of family members in this case.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Falmouth
Posts: 1,651
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Totally agree with LTB - Shocking story and a disgraceful woman.
Pass us her Name and address. I have a few friends who will be able to repatriate your goods.
Barring that then all I can suggest is that you take a look here
Pass us her Name and address. I have a few friends who will be able to repatriate your goods.
Barring that then all I can suggest is that you take a look here
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: gashbag
Age: 53
Posts: 558
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Legally speaking, the gongs belong to the recipient. If they chose to give, sell, or bequeath, they change ownership.
Sorry for the bad news. I am having a similar problem with my ex witch. (and she obtained my family heirlooms by deception!)
PP
Sorry for the bad news. I am having a similar problem with my ex witch. (and she obtained my family heirlooms by deception!)
PP
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: England
Posts: 908
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
That link is fantastic thank you.
My suspicions were aroused when once walking her dog around Wroughton a man asked if the dog was called xxx. Yes i said, how did you know that. Turned out it was his dog which she took when she left him with nothing aswell(even took his B&O speakers)
Who would take someone's dog for gods sake?
My suspicions were aroused when once walking her dog around Wroughton a man asked if the dog was called xxx. Yes i said, how did you know that. Turned out it was his dog which she took when she left him with nothing aswell(even took his B&O speakers)
Who would take someone's dog for gods sake?
As someone who has been in the medal trade for 35 years I have seen many examples of families falling out over the disposal of medals after the recipient's death, and this one doesn't surprise me.
I think it's pretty clear that she has legal title to them, if not a moral claim, but the law unfortunately wont recognise the latter.
I recently sold a medal on ebay (bought from an antique dealer) The original recipient contacted me and asked me how I had come by it. To cut a long story short he had split from his wife, forgot all about his medal and the ex took it into a shop and sold it for £10 for scrap silver! This, by the way, was a medal which after passing through several hands eventually sold for £300!
My advice to you is to bite the bullet and buy the stuff back. If you wish to contact me by PM with details I will help you work out what is a fair price, so at least you wont give her the satisfaction of ripping you off.
TTN
I think it's pretty clear that she has legal title to them, if not a moral claim, but the law unfortunately wont recognise the latter.
I recently sold a medal on ebay (bought from an antique dealer) The original recipient contacted me and asked me how I had come by it. To cut a long story short he had split from his wife, forgot all about his medal and the ex took it into a shop and sold it for £10 for scrap silver! This, by the way, was a medal which after passing through several hands eventually sold for £300!
My advice to you is to bite the bullet and buy the stuff back. If you wish to contact me by PM with details I will help you work out what is a fair price, so at least you wont give her the satisfaction of ripping you off.
TTN
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: West Sussex
Posts: 1,771
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I have been on the wrong end of such a witch too, but managed to cotton on just in time to prevent her getting my most treasured posession, my boat ( I will never have medals ! )
Re. The medal-grabbing witch, I doubt any media coverage would be any more than a slight irritation, but you would have to be VERY careful not to give her a reason to screw you for slander and gain even more out of it.
I'm no legal expert, but sadly I think the advice to recover the medals at a fair price seems best, then commence on any revenge !
A properly worded article might give the satisfaction of at least warning others though.
There was an article recently re. a **** daughter sold her father's medals as tat; I'll leave you all to fill in the rest...
Re. The medal-grabbing witch, I doubt any media coverage would be any more than a slight irritation, but you would have to be VERY careful not to give her a reason to screw you for slander and gain even more out of it.
I'm no legal expert, but sadly I think the advice to recover the medals at a fair price seems best, then commence on any revenge !
A properly worded article might give the satisfaction of at least warning others though.
There was an article recently re. a **** daughter sold her father's medals as tat; I'll leave you all to fill in the rest...
Afraid I can't help you out on the legal side - you could well have be totally stitched there unless you plan on contesting the will.
However, if you are looking for medal advice, guidance etc, you could do worse than have a look at the following medal site www.britishmedalforum.com
In typical RAF fashion, we would normally take the mickey for being such spotters, but frankly they are a cracking bunch, very friendly and always willing to help with advice or anything else that might be needed on all things medals. And what they don't know about medals between them probably isn't worth knowing. You could do worse than get a user name and drop them a line - they kindly pointed me in the right direction when I was trying to decide whether or not to get my grandfather's haul insured separately from the rest of my contents.
However, if you are looking for medal advice, guidance etc, you could do worse than have a look at the following medal site www.britishmedalforum.com
In typical RAF fashion, we would normally take the mickey for being such spotters, but frankly they are a cracking bunch, very friendly and always willing to help with advice or anything else that might be needed on all things medals. And what they don't know about medals between them probably isn't worth knowing. You could do worse than get a user name and drop them a line - they kindly pointed me in the right direction when I was trying to decide whether or not to get my grandfather's haul insured separately from the rest of my contents.
Last edited by Melchett01; 17th Aug 2010 at 19:33.
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Closer than you think...
Age: 65
Posts: 390
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Okay, medals... There is one other place you will find some pretty sharp minds on the medal scene is over on ARRSE ...
knock em you may (being of the light blue suit brigade) but the care of medals etc is a hot topic over there.
Oh and the famed 'arrse' outrage bus is known for going from vor to works ticket complete, first paraded and fuelled up rolling out the gate in nano-seconds
Ask around, theres more than one err 'professional' medal collector/dealer to give sensible advice as well.
As she was (by marriage only) his NoK, ownership sadly goes her way unless otherwise directed in the will.
Of course... should you be able to 'prove' one way or another that the medals had in fact been gifted to your good self some time ago (before he met her of course) and then left with him for sentimental reasons.... tradition in the male side of the family etc etc might be grounds for appeal. This course might work more better for the WW1 medal group which are most likely to be the set with a greater cash value.
My late fathers 2nd 'thing' (another serial widow) even ended up owning my families grave plot in the local Parish Church, (c/w 3 generations in it). To say that caused a wee family fall out would be an understatement.
knock em you may (being of the light blue suit brigade) but the care of medals etc is a hot topic over there.
Oh and the famed 'arrse' outrage bus is known for going from vor to works ticket complete, first paraded and fuelled up rolling out the gate in nano-seconds
Ask around, theres more than one err 'professional' medal collector/dealer to give sensible advice as well.
As she was (by marriage only) his NoK, ownership sadly goes her way unless otherwise directed in the will.
Of course... should you be able to 'prove' one way or another that the medals had in fact been gifted to your good self some time ago (before he met her of course) and then left with him for sentimental reasons.... tradition in the male side of the family etc etc might be grounds for appeal. This course might work more better for the WW1 medal group which are most likely to be the set with a greater cash value.
My late fathers 2nd 'thing' (another serial widow) even ended up owning my families grave plot in the local Parish Church, (c/w 3 generations in it). To say that caused a wee family fall out would be an understatement.
Last edited by Always a Sapper; 18th Aug 2010 at 20:55.
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: gashbag
Age: 53
Posts: 558
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Tonker,firstly how remiss of me, condolences on the loss of your father.
She has obtained these items legally. You could choose to contest the will, but as you probably know from the probate process, it would most probably be more cost effective to take the above advice and buy them back. (unless they are particularly rare and valuable decorations).
What do you call 1000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start
PP (LLB (Hons))!
She has obtained these items legally. You could choose to contest the will, but as you probably know from the probate process, it would most probably be more cost effective to take the above advice and buy them back. (unless they are particularly rare and valuable decorations).
What do you call 1000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start
PP (LLB (Hons))!
May be a long shot but if your Father altered his will before hs death there may be grounds to contest it, might be worth speaking to a lawyer, but as I say a long shot.
If not, I would buy them back, for your family .
If not, I would buy them back, for your family .
What do you call 1000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start
A good start
Insufficient sand!
Sorry about thread hijack, tonker
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Midlands
Posts: 252
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Tonker hi,
Sorry for your recent loss - grief and anger are a potent mix and feelings are obviously running high at this very sad time for your family.
I am sure she (the vial lady) is aware of your apparent hatred towards her and that she has offered you the opportunity to buy your fathers and uncles medals gives me some hope that the situation may be recoverable.
You want the medals and feel you are entitled to them - i get that.
She has been bequeathed them legally by her husband - she is offering you an olive branch - please stay with me on this point.
She will have her own point of view on what has happened and maybe (just maybe) it may be worth taking the time out to meet her on neutral ground and LISTEN to what she has to say. Just listen - to all her pain and loss and grief - and no matter how hard it is to say nothing or argue or disagree - let her finish... and then try this.
I am sorry for all the pain you are - thank you for talking to me and offering us the opportunity to buy my fathers / uncles medals - I really appreciate that. Things are a little raw for every one at the moment and i do not want to fight with you any more -
And then walk away.
Human nature is such that the majority want to be liked/loved and understood and i am sure she has had her fair amount of pain over the years. Fighting with her will not achieve anything - she will dig in and lets face it she holds all the cards as you want was she has. I have no idea how she will react to this but if you speak to her face and face and just listen - you may be surprised at the result. Forgive her - stop the hatred and walk away - she may just start to look at your side of things and give them to you -
Good luck - my thoughts are with you.
Sorry for your recent loss - grief and anger are a potent mix and feelings are obviously running high at this very sad time for your family.
I am sure she (the vial lady) is aware of your apparent hatred towards her and that she has offered you the opportunity to buy your fathers and uncles medals gives me some hope that the situation may be recoverable.
You want the medals and feel you are entitled to them - i get that.
She has been bequeathed them legally by her husband - she is offering you an olive branch - please stay with me on this point.
She will have her own point of view on what has happened and maybe (just maybe) it may be worth taking the time out to meet her on neutral ground and LISTEN to what she has to say. Just listen - to all her pain and loss and grief - and no matter how hard it is to say nothing or argue or disagree - let her finish... and then try this.
I am sorry for all the pain you are - thank you for talking to me and offering us the opportunity to buy my fathers / uncles medals - I really appreciate that. Things are a little raw for every one at the moment and i do not want to fight with you any more -
And then walk away.
Human nature is such that the majority want to be liked/loved and understood and i am sure she has had her fair amount of pain over the years. Fighting with her will not achieve anything - she will dig in and lets face it she holds all the cards as you want was she has. I have no idea how she will react to this but if you speak to her face and face and just listen - you may be surprised at the result. Forgive her - stop the hatred and walk away - she may just start to look at your side of things and give them to you -
Good luck - my thoughts are with you.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Falmouth
Posts: 1,651
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
And then walk away.
Human nature is such that the majority want to be liked/loved and understood and i am sure she has had her fair amount of pain over the years. Fighting with her will not achieve anything - she will dig in and lets face it she holds all the cards as you want was she has. I have no idea how she will react to this but if you speak to her face and face and just listen - you may be surprised at the result. Forgive her - stop the hatred and walk away - she may just start to look at your side of things and give them to you -
Human nature is such that the majority want to be liked/loved and understood and i am sure she has had her fair amount of pain over the years. Fighting with her will not achieve anything - she will dig in and lets face it she holds all the cards as you want was she has. I have no idea how she will react to this but if you speak to her face and face and just listen - you may be surprised at the result. Forgive her - stop the hatred and walk away - she may just start to look at your side of things and give them to you -