Middle age !

[Art Field]

My boss told me I was indolent, not only am I too lazy to find out what it means but if I did I have no idea what I've done with the dictionary.

[goudie]

I've solved the problem of a diminishing memory by writing things down on a list.
Now, if I could just remember......................................!!

[Dunhovrin]

I'm still getting used to the fat bloke scaring me in the bathroom mirror.

[Pontius Navigator]

Oedipus didn't

[Motleycallsign]

If one suffers from Alzheimers and then gets Amnesia does one forget that they can't remember thibgs?

[Lafyar Cokov]

I don't think this senile dementure thing will ever affect me!

[sycamore]

I thought the Doc said I had a` sensible denture`,but I need to `chew `on it for a bit...

[L J R]

I thought that this thread was about a young Typhoon driver. How did we get here..!

[PlasticCabDriver]

Man goes to the doctor for his test results.

Doctor: "I'm very sorry but there's been a mix up at the lab and everyones tests got a bit mixed up. In your case we've narrowed it down, and you've either got Alzheimers or AIDS".

Man: "Oh my God, that's terrible either way! What shall I do?"

Doctor: "Well, when you leave here, if you can remember your way home, don't f*** your wife!".

Taxi for me?

[Pontius Navigator]

Typhoon driver? How did we get there?

[goudie]

Is that a bit like a Wapiti ?

Looks nothing like an elk

[Pontius Navigator]

Never did like elks when I was at Southend as a nipper.

[goudie]

No Pontius, thems was big winkles

[Pontius Navigator]

always prefered crabs though

[60024]

On posting back to one of my previous Sqn's, I find myself flying with WSOs who weren't born the last time I was on the Sqn.........

[Molemot]

I spent the end bit of my working life as an Immigration officer. One day, seated at the control desk, an American passenger came up...asked him the usual questions..
Moley: "How long are you staying?"
Pax: "3 days.."
Moley: "What are you doing?"
Pax: "Medical research conference.."
Moley: "That's interesting. What exactly are you researching at the moment?"
Pax: "Alzheimer's disease.."
Moley: "That's interesting. What exactly are you researching at the moment?"
Pax: "Alzheimer's dis....you b*st*rd!!! No fair!! I've been stuck on a plane for hours....!!!"


Probably one of my finest hours, that was....

[DeepestSouth]

A Few Words of Comfort, Old Chaps

Recently discovered that a very ancient chap I know is ex-RAF and in 1945 was awarded an AFC - not only that, but subsequently, in civvy life, he was awarded an OBE.

In discussing matters aeronautical he said "Well, when I retired at 65 I got a bit bored so I thought I'd get a PPL. It all came back very quickly and I tooled around quite happily for a few years until my 'annual' showed a heart murmur so I stopped at 76."

He's now 95, occasionally appears on stage in am dram, and at a recent 'gathering' recited the whole of a very long poem from memory!

Now - if only I could remember his name ...!

DS (aged 59 ... I think)

[Pontius Navigator]

When a man grows old
and his balls grow cold
and he's bent in the middle
like a one string fiddle
he can tell you a tale or too...............

if he could only remember the tale

[olympus]

When a man grows old
and his balls grow cold
and the end of his knob turns blue
and he's bent in the middle
like a one string fiddle
he can tell you a tale or two...............

[Sleeping]

So pull up a chair
and stand me a drink
and a tale to you I'll tell
of Dead Eye Dick
and mexican Pete
and a harlot called Eskimo Nell