Nimrod MR2 Out of Service Magazine - Stories, Photos & Dits Wanted

[BEagle]

Whilst I never had the desire to be posted to the Land of the DFMB to fly an aeroplane whose crew seemed to consist largely of a gang of teenage NCOs and which probably had more navigators than engines, those who were posted to fly the Mighty Muncher seemed to have loved every minute of their time - and the RAF will undoubtedly be a much poorer place without them.

It is an act of utter criminal folly that a maritime nation is to suffer the loss of its only LRMP asset after all these years. 'Coastal' is an absolutely vital part of the UK's Armed Forces.

Back in 1969 I was on a week's attachment to ISK as a (very junior) Cranwell Flt Cdt. Having flown and chundered copiously for about 14 hours in a Mk 3 ph 3 Shacklebomber, I was sleeping off the experience in the OM when even through my Griffon-and-Viper ringing ears, the roar of the prototype Nimrod MR1 woke me up. I peered out of the window to watch it being put through its paces for the benefit of the press; later at the sqn to which I was attached, morale was increidbly high as everyone looked forward to the new aircraft.

Back then we had Shacks and, not long afterwards, Nimrods in a plethora of bases both home and abroad. Whereas today......??

I hope the Out of Service magazine will be a cracker - don't forget to include some of George's 'Coastal Clues' articles!

We had many ex-kipper folk on the '10. One Air Engineer, who shall be nameless called J**n G****t, would often have his fellow instructors almost in tears with his tales of the maritime world. One such story concerned an 'hotel incident'. John...oops, sorry, suffered rather from a case of the 'Farmer Giles'. After a long trip they landed somewhere away from base, then held a sortie debrief as there was a senior ossifer flying with them. A Gp Capt, I believe. This went on and on, and JG's itching backside wasn't enjoying it. At all... Eventually they made it to the hotel, had the usual reception mill until finally keys were handed out. JG rushed to his room, threw his case onto the bed, filled the sink with ice cold water, whipped down his flying suit and lowered his burning bum into the water with grateful relief.....

...unfortunately, in his haste, he hadn't quite shut the door properly and it swung open precisely at the moment that the Gp Capt walked past. A few minutes later, a somewhat perplexed captain was being berated for the scandalous behaviour of his engineer "...seen crapping in his room sink!"

Sorry if I haven't got the details correct, G-RAT, but the mental image of the shock experienced by some ponce of a Gp Capt seeing your blissful expression whilst perched on the sink was quite hilarious!

Now back to you maritime folk.......

[DFM]

What's cooking tonight?

Once upom a time, honkers was standard fair for all, with crews vying for supremacy of recipe, heat and most imaginative constituent parts……special cookware made to order to ensure consistency and simplicity of preparation. Tapestry food fests at 500ft for 6hrs whilst trying to ensure the honk bags didn’t go near the honkers! Moving on a det and yet more imaginative use of the galley facilities, with lobsters from Brunswick or Bergen and phonebook size (cut into manageable dimension) steaks, all acquired during the halcyon days of “shop till you drop” rationing. We all remember the scaffy bag salads but what about the esky size wallbanger parties, usually post Rum Punch or Dogfish trip. Have seen lots of remarkable concoctions cooked up in a Nimrod galley and amazingly the most memorable never required anything more than the 3rd wet’s finger to check for an even temperature throughout….something definitely frowned upon now…….tis progress, we know. Moving onto more recent times and cakes were regularly made whilst in the hold over the badlands, Birthday parties to boot, and all to keep humour up rather than hunger at bay. A recipe book from the Nimrod galley is an interesting idea to pursue, but I would be surprised if the book run went much beyond all of those who were fortunate enough to be a part of all the good times. Nostalgia isn't what is used to be don't you know.....Eat on……honkers at the hangar party anyone!

[fincastle84]

kb661

I have a fine set of photos of Samantha circa 1984. They were taken after Soggy had retrieved his specs! They would be perfect for page 3.

[Miles Magister]

Magazine articles

You could do a lot worse than include some of the 'Then and Now' cartoons which Biff Newman drew, I am sure someone must know where he is now. There were some very good sketches floating around 25 years ago and the book produced by Pyro Nashers and falcon enterprises is worth a read.

MM

[The Old Fat One]

DFM

Top post...you made an old fat guy come over all nostalgic.

Pointy eared one...have loads of copies made and auction at the final bash. You'll make a fortune.

I believe buried somewhere in the loft is an original copy 42 (TB) Sqn song book. Front cover, a candle burning at both ends and the initials "SOMF"...what did that mean again?

[Siggie]

re DFM's post concerning Esky Cocktails:

At the Baia Verde in Sigonella, a junior crew member was instructed to take the esky, which had the white russian already in it (it's got milk in it therefore it's got to be good for you!), and get some ice put in it by the bar staff. He returned with the esky full of ice, the bar staff had simply poured the booze out of it to make room for the ice. Amazing how quickly the esky got filled again, with enough white russian to float whats left of the navy,

[The Old Fat One]

Knock, Knock

[FE Hoppy]

18th Oct 1991
Lilongwe Malawi
Attempting to celebrate the AEO's birthday with champagne cocktails and mustering only warm cold duck and guava juice in the hotel that time forgot. The rest, like all the best tales shall remain in the realm of oral history along with the reason for not getting a blood test after smoke in the cabin and what really happened in Grootfontein.
Without doubt the best years of my life were spent on the kipper fleet in the company of some of the finest men one could ever wish to suffer hangovers with.

God bless the lot of you.

Dave.

[cynicalint]

J**n G****t and the cat episode in Gibraltar; the collapsing of the Gibraltarian scaffolding resulting an the navs broken legs; the broken arm of a not yet but would be starred officer at Rum Punch, when he fell outof the wagon when being brought back to the motel after falling in the newly refurbished 18th hole at homestead golf course; the same detachment when the mini eng stole a train of golf carts started by a ring pull from cans- Gents, you could write a whole book alone on Gib and Rum Punch! thanks for reminding me that life was once interesting, challenging and educational in the broadest sense!

[olddog]

SOMF

Old Fat One "

the initials "SOMF"...what did that mean again?

SONGS OF MARITIME FORCES of course!!!

Old Dog (Capt 42 Sqn Crew 3 1985/86 and still singing!!)

[kb661]

Change of email address

Ladies & Gents,
Thank you for all your contributions to date; it really is helping to make this more of a commemoration rather than a stale history.

One problem now is that my work account is now complaining about being over mail box limits, etc. Could you please now email to Email address removed - Deadline passed We normally use it for 42 Sqn stuff.

The stories are great but I would really appreciate lots more photos from the 70s, 80s and 90s. Please email them at a filesize greater than 250kB (geek speak). Needs to be better than internet quality.

For all the offers of songbooks - please send them in. I would rather have far too manythan too little.

Thank you

Keith
Email address removed - Deadline passed

[QTRZulu]

FE Hoppy

The Meteor hotel really was quite something to behold!! The it will do a trip back to Nairobi, but then we are going nowhere until its fixed resulted in the best unplanned holiday I ever had

Sadly, those days are long gone, but they do still live long in the memory...

[kb661]

Donate Now or Forever Hold Your Piece...

Last orders for photos for the Nimrod MR2 OSD mag; all offers greatly received.

Please send them in by Saturday.

TVM

KB

[FE Hoppy]

How the hell do you remember the name of the hotel!!!!!!

I've got a picture somewhere of us having dinner in the Mount Kenya Safari club all wearing jackets and ties borrowed from the 1970s left behind cupboard. Oh happy days.

[zedder]

Do You Remember Playing CRUD at Greenwood

OFFICIAL ACC (479 FTG SUP 1) CRUD TOURNAMENT RULES

Definition of CRUD:
A team game of skill requiring good hand-eye coordination and stamina played on a snooker or large pool table. The prime goal is to pocket the object ball by hitting it with the cue ball, or to keep the object ball moving a distance of at least six inches. Pool cues are not used in this game. The cue ball is shot by hand at the object ball.

General Overview of Tournament Play

BASIC PLAY
A. Once the Object Ball is set in motion by the Cue (Shooter) Ball shot by Team A player, the two teams' members take turns in the posted order to either:
1. Pocket the Object Ball, or
2. Keep the Object Ball moving on the table, or
3. Cause an opposing team member to miss hitting the Object Ball until it stops moving

B. Play is conducted subject to posted/briefed rules, fouls or errors listed on the attached ACPA rules sheet. Each foul/error is called a 'Life' and is marked on a scoreboard next to the player's name.

C. A Team wins when it has eliminated every player from its opposing team.
Note: 'Combat Crud' will not be allowed during any tournament play.

BASIC SCORING
A player will be eliminated after accumulating three 'Lives' assessed by the Referee/Judge. 'Lives' are accumulated if:
■ It is your turn and the object ball stops before you hit it, or

■ After you strike the object ball, it is pocketed by the next shooter on the opposing team, or

■ You shoot from a position other than the two short ends of the table, or

■ A shot is taken out of turn, or any foul is assessed by the Referee/Judge.

EQUIPMENT:
■ 1 Snooker Table or suitable substitute

■ 1 Object Ball (preferably a striped ball)

■ 1 Cue Ball, called the Shooter Ball.

PLAYERS:
3 Players per team

REFEREE(S):
a) One or two referees may be used. If two are used, one will be designated the Judge for arbitration.
b) All players must go around the referee. The loss of life for interference with the referee is to be left to the discretion of the Judge.
AMERICAN CRUD PLAYERS ASSOCIATION (ACPA) RULES (479 FTG Sup 1)
Ace - The Shooter's Service shot directly causes the loss of a Receiver's Life via a Double Kiss, Dead, or Pocket prior to him/her getting a shot off.

Arguing with the Judge - Only Team Captain's may discuss specific rulings until a "Decision Final" or "Replay" is declared. All further arguments are subject to a Life being assessed.

Ball off the Table - When the Shooter Ball is shot so vigorously that it causes either ball to leave the playing surface and either ball touches anything that is not the CRUD Table, including the Next Shooter. This Life will be called over any other Life resulting from events in that Round, i.e., Dead Ball, CRUD, etc.

Blocking

- The Shooter has the primary right to the table. The Shooter has a right to get to the Shooter Ball without being blocked by the Defender. The Shooter has a right to make a shot. There will be no Blocking of the Shooter's movement on the Runway along the long sides of the CRUD Table. In some cases, the Shooter will need to go around a Defender who is up against the side of the Table. Inadvertent or accidental Blocking, as determined by the Judge, will not be held against the Defender. The Shooter may not hold onto the Defender, but may use an arm or open hand lifting motion to clear Defender's visual blocking (called ECM) of a shot.

- The Defender has blocking rights/restrictions as follows:
■ The Defender may not touch either of the CRUD balls or the Shooter's forearm or hand during a shot.

■ The Defender may not hold onto (anchor) any portion of the Table.

■ During ECM, the Defender's hands and arms must be constantly moving and closer to the object Ball than the Shooter's face, and the hands and arms may not touch the playing surface. If the Defender's hands are swept away by the Shooter, the Defender may readjust and create ECM again.

■ The Defender may offer resistance, but may not use holding techniques and must "give way" without "over-resistance" to the Shooter's attempt to establish position for a shot. The Shooter is only entitled to "take" as much room as is reasonably required to make a shot. The use of hard pushing or hitting with the hands, elbows, shoulders or hips by either the Shooter or the Defender to establish or maintain their position is not allowed.

■ The Player on Deck has no Blocking rights.
Choice - The next player in turn from the team that most recently received a Life has the Choice to Receive or Serve to open the next Round, unless the Single Man rule applies. This is the only privilege offered the Single Man.

Contested Decision - On rare occasions, Team Captains may officially contest a decision of the Judge. The Judge will declare "Replay" or "Decision Final."

CRUD - The Shooter's center abdomen must be within the Foul Lines when making any shot.

CRUD Table - A snooker-type table approximately 6 ft. by 12 ft with 6 open pockets. CRUD can be played on a regulation 5 ft by 10 ft pool table, and a 4 ft by 8 ft bar room pool table with the side pockets blocked off.

Dead Ball - The Object Ball ceases any and all movement. The Next Shooter has responsibility for continued Object Ball movement regardless of opportunity, except when the No Six rule applies.

Decision Final -The Judge's declaration that a Contested Decision will no longer be discussed.

Delay of the Game - When players commit unnecessary delaying tactics, the Judge may impose a 5 second rule to speed up play.

Double Kiss, Dead - This is the only exception to the 'No Six' rule. If the Object Ball is tapped at least twice by the Shooter Ball (usually against or near a bumper), the Object Ball need not travel the normal minimum of six inches. The Referee will declare the shot as a 'double kiss'.

Drop Shot - After release, the Shooter Ball must first touch the playing surface prior to touching the Object Ball.

ECM - Defender's visual blocking of the Object Ball from the view of the Shooter. See 'Blocking' rules for specifics.

F.O.D. - Any Foreign Object Debris that falls or spills onto the playing surface. A piece of attached clothing will not constitute F.O.D. unless it touches the Object ball during play, or it touches the cue ball 'out-of-turn' (Defender only). Whereas it may be necessary for a Shooter to transit the playing surface to retrieve or shoot the Shooter Ball, a player's shoes or feet may not touch the playing surface or bumpers. The defender may not be resting on the playing surface when anticipating a Shooter's play.

Foot Off the Runway - Whenever a Shooter shoots, at least a portion of one foot must be on the Runway and within the Foul Lines. Additionally, one of the Defender's feet must be on the Runway somewhere around the CRUD Table when actually defending, but not required when retrieving or moving into position to make a shot.

Foul Lines - Imaginary lines and planes extending vertically and laterally, 45 degrees through the corner pockets of the CRUD table. Shooters must have their center abdomen within these Foul Lines at either end of the table any time a shot is made. Additionally, a Shooter must have a portion of one foot on the Runway within the Foul Lines whenever a shot is attempted.

Intruder - An unauthorized Player on the Runway. At any point in time during a Round, only the Shooter, Next Shooter and Player on Deck may be on the Runway. The previous Shooter must move off the runway in a timely and unhindering manner.

Lag - Game opening event used to determine which team has choice. From the Shooter End, Team Captains simultaneously release their respective CRUD Ball so that it touches the opposite short side of the table. The ball that returns closest to the Shooter end without touching it or the side rails determines Choice.

Life - The term used to impose any infraction of these rules. The Life may also be called by its proper name.

"No Six" - The Shooter must personally make this call to stop the Round before taking any shot. Whenever the Object Ball is hit, it must travel 6 inches, including bumper bounce, except in the cases of the "Double Kiss, Dead." The Judge will determine the distance of travel based on his judgment of where the Object Ball was last hit. If full travel is less than 6 inches, center-ball to center-ball, the Life is against the last Shooter. If it traveled 6 inches or more, the Life is a Dead Ball on the Ball-in-Hand Player. The Referee will not declare 'no-six', but will rule on its validity once called by the Shooter.

Object Ball - This Ball may only be touched by the Shooter Ball, and must be Pocketed or kept in motion at all times during a Round.

Player on Deck - This player, as the next player in turn to play, is allowed on the Runway, but has no Blocking rights and must remain at least 3 feet from the Receiver/
Next Shooter.

Playing Out of Turn - A Player touching the Shooter Ball when it is not that player's turn or any out-of-turn play detected by the Judge. A Team Captain may stop a game to point out this infraction to the Judge at the risk of a Life. If verified, a Life will be assessed against the guilty player. Otherwise, a Life will be assessed for stopping the Round. Play will resume with the next posted player after the one assessed a 'Life'.

Pocket - Any Time the Object Ball is hit into, and remains in, one of the pockets, i.e., ball-center below the level of the playing surface. The Judge will determine who receives the Life based on the Judge's opinion of whether or not the Next Shooter had ANY opportunity to influence the play with a valid shot. If the Next Shooter had a chance to influence play, the Next Shooter receives the Life. Otherwise, the Life is against the previous Shooter on that team.

Push Shot - Any stylized propelling of the Shooter Ball by the Shooter's hand is allowed, providing the Shooter's hands or fingers are not touching the Shooter Ball when or after the Shooter Ball makes contact with the Object Ball.

Receiver/ Next Shooter - The Defender as a Round begins and the next player after the Shooter at any point during the play.

Replay - If declared following a Contested Decision, teams start from the beginning of the Round in question. Team Captains or designated Players may face off one-on-one, if the Judge allows. Choice goes to the Team that had possession of the cue ball at the start of the Round in question.

Roughing the Judge - No Player may make contact with or bump into the Judge so as to cause him/her the need to regain balance or composure.

Round - Begins with the Service shot and ends when a Life is called, or the play is stopped for any reason.

Runway - Area 3 feet wide around the CRUD Table. Only the Shooter, Next Shooter, and the Player on Deck may be on the Runway at any one time. The (previous) Shooters must, without Blocking the (next) Shooter, depart the runway as quickly as possible after making their shot (except in the case where they are the Single Man.)

Scratch - During Service, the Server misses the spotted Object Ball 3 times.

Service - The opening event of each Round. With the Object Ball spotted on the centerline 6 inches from the Receiver end of the table, the Shooter is given 3 attempts to hit the spotted Object Ball using any number of bumper bounces. Shooter Ball movement may only be stopped by the Judge or the Shooter. Any Service where the Shooter Ball goes beyond half the length of the Table will be counted as one attempt.

Shooter - The Offender as a Round begins and the player with the responsibility to make the next shot before the Object Ball is called Dead or is Pocketed.

Shooter Ball - This ball, usually a cue ball, may be touched or picked up by the Receiver/Next Shooter from anywhere around the table only after it hits the Object Ball. However, it must be shot in accordance with all applicable rules herein. The Shooter may, in order to hit an Object Ball still in motion, recover the Shooter Ball --even if it goes into a pocket-- and take as many 'shots' as needed. All shots must be at the Object Ball and not at other Players. (Exception: if a Defender places any part of his body/clothing below bumper level and in the vicinity of the Object Ball, he/she can be liable for an 'out-of-turn' foul if struck by the Shooter Ball prior to its contact with the Object Ball.) Accidental release or dropping of the Shooter Ball will not be held against the Shooter, unless it hits the Object Ball.

Single Man - When a Team is attrited down to one Player, that Player has the Choice at the beginning of each Round to Receive or Serve. With more than one opponent remaining, the Single Man is afforded full ownership of the table and may not be physically blocked. Only ECM is permitted (see 'Blocking'). When both teams have only one player remaining, normal Choice rules apply and all Blocking rules resume in effect.

Substitution - Substitution may not be made without the consent of the Judge and IAW the tournament rules for player eligibility.

Unsportsmanlike Conduct - When the Judge determines a player's actions or language is unsuitable for the game at hand, the Judge may assess a Life or eject a player from the game or tournament.

Warning - If, in the Judge's opinion, a Player makes a play that is very nearly a Life and the Judge might be inclined to assess a Life if that same play or event is committed again, the Judge may call "Warning on the Push, Blocking, etc."

Wrong Ball - During play, the Shooter touches the Object Ball.

Referee's judgments are arbitrary, capricious, and binding.

[fincastle84]

Crud

If played in the company of RNZAF aircrew the players will be fortified by large quantities of 'Purple Death'!

[olddog]

A Couple of thoughts

Perhaps worth a mention. "Interesting moments" experienced by Nimrod crews

EG. Nosewheel up landing (Ken Maynard 42 Sqn at Manston (as I Remember), Gordon Smith's Flare Incident at St Mawgan, Bob Moore's Main wheel unlocked landing at St Mawgan and Art Stacey's R1 Ditching. All displays of first class airmanship and crew cooperation.

On a lighter note I remember Mike Brooks excellent reenactments of the Falklands Campaign using models in a cut off MS9 containing many gallons of water and a considerable quantities of pyrotechnics! Especially the battle where the Belgrano was sunk a little too close to the edge of the dinghy, which promptly burst, flooding the ante room!

Another Mike Brooks memory was in the Scruffs at KS. A hand appeared round the door holding a cabbage smothered in mayonaise with a fizzing thunderflash embedded. "Anyone for coleslaw?" - Booooom!!! Result 12 deaf aircrew and a mess that took hours to clean up!

[fincastle84]

Kinloss scruffs additional memories

Same scruff bar with the whole of 42 present, or so it seemed. End of a prolonged Oed event.

After a massive explosion of DCSs, we supplied 12 from our last sortie, there was DCS covering the walls, ceilings & most of the crews. Steve Mann looked like the abominable snowman.

Henry the Hoover was used to clean up the mess & was doing very well until Bill Speight decided to challenge Henry to a schooner race. Henry did very well until he was sick after about 10 pints. A flood of Tartan & DCS flowed into the corridor.

I do remember being in reception the following morning when a very cross Canberra Sqn Ldr was phoning Ops to cancel his JMC sortie due to lack of sleep.

Later in the day BogH led the 5 aircraft back to EGDG as 'Chough' formation.

I've just scanned Sam's photos to email to kb661. If anyone else wants them please pm me. She looks as good as ever & I bet Jacko still has the flying suit, probably still unwashed!

[kb661]

Songbook Anyone?

Ladies & Gents,
Most of the magazine is now shapping up.

I could still do with a few more personal tales. Please include decade and sqn (if not too incriminating!) so that I can put them in the right section.

Photos would be great (again not if they are incriminating).

I have had no song books/crew books, etc. To make the mag more personal I would like to feature the front page of the book and an extract. Perhaps you could take a photo of the cover and a sample page. I could then re-create the book. Scans would be better though!

Thanks again for your posts, PMs and emails.

KB

[kb661]

Mmmh, perhaps "unpublishable tales of times gone by?"

Looked like you guys had a blast back then...