Sqn Linebook Entries

[Cooperman]

The Sqn Linebook......a source of many humorous true quotes and occurences, well, mostly. But they don't seem to be so fashionable these days.

Scene: Experienced QWI nav busy planning LL mission to Valley (humorous in itself) in a Bruggen sqn PBF.

Nav: "Err...what's the name of the road that runs through the A5 pass?"

And for the smart arses the answer he was looking for wasn't Watling Street!

Scene: Arrival and sqn history brief by punchy non-Brit sqn boss to newly-arrived studes.

Sqn Boss: "So, does anybody know what the average life expectancy was of these young pilots who fought during the war?"

Brit stude, with cheeky but predictable reply: "About twenty minutes sir!"

Sqn Boss (a BlackAdder virgin): "No, no, it was a little longer than that!"

So prove me wrong, what's in YOUR linebook?

Moosa Aswayita!

[TheWelshOne]

Yeah riiiiiiight. Obviously you not busy then and spend all day reading boring line books....hehehe

[Cooperman]

Yep, fair point.

I must think up some witty Monty Python quotes and then we'll all be stitches.

Moosa Aswayita!

[Wee Weasley Welshman]

Personally I thought the old UAS line book was hilarious. I tried to get one started at BAE but it was poo pooed as "too RAF" by management - never ignore a poo-poo Darling...

WWW

[ 24 July 2001: Message edited by: Wee Weasley Welshman ]

[Jozza]

During a recent visit to YUAS's place, I had a flick through their line book. I was puzzled ( ) though by the frequent use of the word "BELM", as in :

BELM, BELM, BELM, this is a test of the station BELM alarm.

which appeared on one page.

Can anyone shed light on what the hell they were going on about, or what drugs they were on?

[Gash Handlin]

Isn't that always the case with linebooks, they were funny at the time or if you knew what was going on but when you read another sqns book it usually makes no sense at all or is about as funny as a not very funny thing?

[Thud_and_Blunder]

Gash,

Not always true - some linebooks made a visit to that particular station worthwhile. When RAF and RN helicopters in Aldergrove were detached elements under command of SHFNI, the combined linebook was one of life's classics. Sadly, it only seemed to survive a year or so after the Sqns moved there full-time.

Coops,

Let me see if I've got this right:

- A linebook entry/PPRuNe thread is not amusing if it refers back to a seminal televisual entertainment from the 60s, but

- If it refers to a programme from a period when most of us weren't at school but actually in productive service, and, in so referring, makes fun of someone who probably had a life and didn't get to watch the telly, it is now incredibly droll and worth sharing with everybody.

Is that about right?

I'd finish with a catchphrase from some fly-on-the-wall rubbish that you're probably glued to back in the UK, but as we don't get your broadcasts here I don't know any.

[4PON4PIN]

Gash / T & B, you're both correct to a point, but there are some instances which readily translate across all boundaries.viz:

Scene: Crewroom down in Salalah back in mid 70's. (Bit of a ruckus going on between The Oman & South Yemen don'tcha know!). Ex-pat Strikey pilot sitting down, legs crossed and outstretched, fiddling with his 9mm pistol.
Now we all know that pilots & a/c guns is OK, but pilots and hand-guns is a big No No. (Leave that to the army chappies).
Anyhow, matey accidentally discharges his weapon. The bullet enters his left thigh then ricochets into right thigh back into left shin into right leg exiting at the ankle. Carted off to Station Hospital where the docs patch him up.
Later that day his mates come to see him carrying copious quantities of piss & bubbly. One of the guys says,
"Jeez Ace, you were lucky you didn't shoot your bollox off!", to which our steely-eyed aviator replies,

"Well if I had've done, I would've kept on firing!!"

[CAC Runaway]

Scene: Instructor and student in a gazelle climbing away from Middle Wallop.

Instructor: Torque....Torque...in an increasingly alarming tone.

Worried Student: What do you want me to say.

[Flatiron]

I remember a nav ('Drongo' White?) getting out of a Canberra and saying to his pilot, "I've only got two words to say to you, bollocks."

[Pub User]

72 Sqn's linebook holds the immortal question: "would tracer hurt if it hit you?".

[murphy]

Ask the Bulk fuel tanks at R850!!!

Yours

Murph x x x

[AffirmBrest]

Southampton UAS - late 90s':

Stude: "So how long does three minutes of fuel last?"

[Mad Pax]

RIAT, Cottesmore, last week...
Sqn formed up to march to breakfast;
Boss - 'we seem to have lost the Cadet WO, Flight Sergeant...'
FS - 'yes sir, it was terrible'

[Matt Black]

One that's in the line book at Boscombe:

"I didn't forget to book the clearance, I just didn't remember in time".

One that should be in the line book at Boscombe:

Flight Test Observer preparing to go on a detachment to Senior Manager on flight line .

FTO ( Sarcastically ): "We're really sorry you're not going on the detachment".
Manager: "You're not half as sorry as I am".
FTO ( Pauses then ): "Yeah,you're right".

( Ground crew disperse in four directions, trying to avoid wetting coveralls, while manager walks away puzzled ).

Happy days!

[Cooperman]

After part my aircraft was sucked into one of the intakes as I rotated and wrote off the engine, my Flight Commander asked me pointedly:
"So, ******, are you absolutely certain you did your walkround checks properly?!"
Before I could answer my cocky chum replied:
"for f***'s sake sir, he was borrowing it not buying it!"

Needless to say I cringed and sloped off.


Moosa Aswayita!

[Hengist Pod]

"Surely we can get fuel at Netheravon glider site"

[Oggin Aviator]

Junior Sea King backseat to FA-2 pilot on CVS:
"Are your checks Challenge and Response?"