'RAF Transformation'

[Shackman]

Have just had sight of a new shiny brochure entitled 'RAF Transformation', which has no doubt cost many thousands of pounds to produce. Can some one please tell me where I can get a programme that will translate it into English?

[BEagle]

Are the pages absorbent?

That might give it at least one useful purpose....

[ProM]

I can translate.

The overall message is:

"I have recognised that there is a recession on. Therefore senior officers can't just waltz into good jobs in industry, they have to demonstrate that they have the skills to be of use to industry. Therefore I have learnt to speak executive gob-****e just like industry and will get the best job. So yah-sucks-boo to the rest of you"

Picking out the highlighted text:

The lag between introducing the enabling changes and achieving benefits creates a major obstacle that is exacerbated by the wide range of stakeholders involved

means: "I've done a brilliant job, the reason it doesn't seem to have helped is because I am surrounded by lots of plebs and luddites"

“Embedding these changes, such that they become the normal way of working, requires senior leaders to demonstrate their own commitment to the new behaviours”

means: "Some of these plebs and luddites out-rank me."

Anything else you want help on?

[Mobile Muppet]

When will senior officers and civil serpents realise spending millions on glossy brochures that are probably read by 10% of the RAF is a waste of money. The majority of these brochures get chucked in the bin or seem to sit in reception areas in the med center.

How about spending the money on spares/accommodation/aircraft or paying all those Wg Cdrs on gardening leave to sling their hook instead!

MM

PS I should also imagine 75% of the RAF have no idea what the hell any of that drivel means anyway, me included!

[alf5071h]

Perhaps it is the script for an episode of ‘Yes Minister’.

Now where did I leave my notes on how (and why) to communicate?

[1.3VStall]

Try typing some of the paragraphs into this:

The Wonderful Wankometer

This gives an accurate indication of the document's value!

[muggy73]

Oh great - another valuable piece of c**p that you can't even recycle! Whats the point in spending valuble cash on useless items? - the money could have been better spent buying office chairs for the MoD

[Inspector Dreyfuss]

Too many people with MBAs writing cobblers. Wonder why we have so many SO1s and gp capts. In my position I suppose I shouldn't knock it!

Anyone heard the rumour that we have approx 20 one stars too many? If so, I wonder how many hours of rotary that would give us a year in AFG?

[BackfromIraq]

I work at AIR, and these people pass through my place of work from time to time. Some of them appear deeply ashamed when they tell me where they work so I don't ask them what it is that actually happens in the black hole of their offices...and I'm too busy to ask them, so there's bu99er-all chance of me reading the rain-forest worth of paper that they publish.

Change or change's sake is not progress. Sometimes we just need to consolidate and allow evolution to happen rather than revolution.