Sporting fly overs
Hey, we work enough bloody weekends as it is without flying over the top of 50,000 chavs at Anfield who don't care about what the military have to do these days.
Unless you want me to put a 7 CBUs in there..................
Unless you want me to put a 7 CBUs in there..................
What's not realised is that Liverpool submitted a "Sealed" i.e. Secret bid for the 2012 Olympics.
Understandably their bid was rejected. Following from their leaked bid.
Understandably their bid was rejected. Following from their leaked bid.
Liverpool’s bid for the 2012 Olympics
In an attempt to influence the members of the international Olympic Committee on their choice of venue for the games in the year 2012, the organisers of Liverpool’s bid have already drawn up an Itinerary and schedule of events. A copy of which has been leaked, and is reproduced below.
Opening Ceremony
The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the city, in the traditional dress of hooded-top and shell suit. The flame will be contained in a large overturned police van situated in the roof of the stadium.
The Events
In previous Olympic Games, Liverpool’s competitors have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes:
100 Metres Sprint
Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and microwave oven (one in each arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a police dog van 10-yards behind the athletes.
110 Metre Hurdles
As above but with added obstacles (i.e. car bonnets, hedges, garden fences, walls etc)
Hammer
Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw, sledge etc) the winner will be the one who can cause the most physical damage within three attempts.
Fencing
Entrants will be asked to dispose of as many stolen goods as possible in five minutes.
Shooting
A strong challenge is expected from local men in this event. The first target will be a moving police van. In the second round, competitors will aim at a rival drug dealer, post office counter assistant, bank cashier or Securicor wages delivery man. The traditional .22 rifle has been replaced in this event by a choice of either an Uzi automatic handgun or sawn-off 12-bore shotgun.
Boxing
Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of lager while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The bout will then commence.
Cycling Time Trials
Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy’s boy on his first trip away from home, all against the clock.
Cycling Pursuit
As above, but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the Australian rugby team, who will witness the theft.
Modern Pentathlon
Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joyriding and arson.
Swimming
The Mersey and all adjacent waterways are currently being tested for toxicity levels, once one is found that can support human life, swimming events will be organised, please note that the Synchronised Swimming even for this year will comprise of dropping acid and watching all the funky ripples on the pool, the specific musical support to this event will be provided by “The Verve”.
The Marathon
A safe route has yet to be decided.
Men’s 50km walk
Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Liverpool, especially anyone that appears to be mincing...
The Closing Ceremony
Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members of the Salford “Health in the Community” anti-drug campaigners, synchronised rock throwing, and music by the Anfield community choir. The Olympic flame will be extinguished by police riot water cannon following inevitable pitch invasion by confused Liverpool Football Club organised hooliganism supporters. The stadium itself will then be boarded up before the local athletes break into it and remove all the copper piping and the central heating boiler.
To guarantee the entry of any Scouse athletes at all, drugs’ testing has been waived for the duration of the Games.
In an attempt to influence the members of the international Olympic Committee on their choice of venue for the games in the year 2012, the organisers of Liverpool’s bid have already drawn up an Itinerary and schedule of events. A copy of which has been leaked, and is reproduced below.
Opening Ceremony
The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the city, in the traditional dress of hooded-top and shell suit. The flame will be contained in a large overturned police van situated in the roof of the stadium.
The Events
In previous Olympic Games, Liverpool’s competitors have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes:
100 Metres Sprint
Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and microwave oven (one in each arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a police dog van 10-yards behind the athletes.
110 Metre Hurdles
As above but with added obstacles (i.e. car bonnets, hedges, garden fences, walls etc)
Hammer
Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw, sledge etc) the winner will be the one who can cause the most physical damage within three attempts.
Fencing
Entrants will be asked to dispose of as many stolen goods as possible in five minutes.
Shooting
A strong challenge is expected from local men in this event. The first target will be a moving police van. In the second round, competitors will aim at a rival drug dealer, post office counter assistant, bank cashier or Securicor wages delivery man. The traditional .22 rifle has been replaced in this event by a choice of either an Uzi automatic handgun or sawn-off 12-bore shotgun.
Boxing
Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of lager while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The bout will then commence.
Cycling Time Trials
Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy’s boy on his first trip away from home, all against the clock.
Cycling Pursuit
As above, but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the Australian rugby team, who will witness the theft.
Modern Pentathlon
Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joyriding and arson.
Swimming
The Mersey and all adjacent waterways are currently being tested for toxicity levels, once one is found that can support human life, swimming events will be organised, please note that the Synchronised Swimming even for this year will comprise of dropping acid and watching all the funky ripples on the pool, the specific musical support to this event will be provided by “The Verve”.
The Marathon
A safe route has yet to be decided.
Men’s 50km walk
Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Liverpool, especially anyone that appears to be mincing...
The Closing Ceremony
Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members of the Salford “Health in the Community” anti-drug campaigners, synchronised rock throwing, and music by the Anfield community choir. The Olympic flame will be extinguished by police riot water cannon following inevitable pitch invasion by confused Liverpool Football Club organised hooliganism supporters. The stadium itself will then be boarded up before the local athletes break into it and remove all the copper piping and the central heating boiler.
To guarantee the entry of any Scouse athletes at all, drugs’ testing has been waived for the duration of the Games.
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At risk of being on topic....
Got to disagree with you LAL, flyovers and weekend events are absolutely the sort of thing we should be doing if we want to rescue our armed forces. Those 50,000 chavs all have the right to vote - it goes something like this:
Military turn up and put on good shows at public events, get good media coverage.
Media hype the heroes of the armed forces.
Chavs accidentally read about heroes while picking at their fish and chips.
Chavs start to take an interest.
Politicians take an interst in opinion of the great unwashed, jump on military heroes band wagon.
Government wants 50,000 chav votes to stay in power so increases military spending.
We could look to the 'heroes of America' in this respect.
Got to disagree with you LAL, flyovers and weekend events are absolutely the sort of thing we should be doing if we want to rescue our armed forces. Those 50,000 chavs all have the right to vote - it goes something like this:
Military turn up and put on good shows at public events, get good media coverage.
Media hype the heroes of the armed forces.
Chavs accidentally read about heroes while picking at their fish and chips.
Chavs start to take an interest.
Politicians take an interst in opinion of the great unwashed, jump on military heroes band wagon.
Government wants 50,000 chav votes to stay in power so increases military spending.
We could look to the 'heroes of America' in this respect.
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Agree with D-IFF_ident, just one good display by a Typhoon or a Tornado might spike the footy/rugby/car racing fans interest and when they see an advert for RIAT/Farnborough/Duxford etc They might take the kiddies along put a few coins in the poppy jars or maybe even get their kids into the cadets.
Little acorns and all that.
Little acorns and all that.
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This happened at the Leicester Burnley football match at The Walker Stadium on Saturday (10th November).
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1Hvq_DYvgtI
This comment is taken from the match report on Clarets Mad, a Burnley supporters site.
'There were dramatic scenes at the stadium ahead of the game as Leicester City paid their tribute ahead of Remembrance Sunday. The match ball was brought into the stadium and presented to referee Clive Penton by helicopter.
An AS350 single engine Squirrel helicopter, currently in service with the Defence Helicopter Flying School, descending into the stadium around 2:50 p.m. The crew were Captain M W Westwood of the Royal Navy and Flt Lft C M Smith of the Royal Air Force.
It was superbly received by the crowd as it landed in the centre circle, before Captain Westwood made the presentation of the ball. As it then ascended out of the stadium it turned to all parts and even took a bow. To add to the rememberance, the home side had poppies stitched to their shirts.'
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1Hvq_DYvgtI
This comment is taken from the match report on Clarets Mad, a Burnley supporters site.
'There were dramatic scenes at the stadium ahead of the game as Leicester City paid their tribute ahead of Remembrance Sunday. The match ball was brought into the stadium and presented to referee Clive Penton by helicopter.
An AS350 single engine Squirrel helicopter, currently in service with the Defence Helicopter Flying School, descending into the stadium around 2:50 p.m. The crew were Captain M W Westwood of the Royal Navy and Flt Lft C M Smith of the Royal Air Force.
It was superbly received by the crowd as it landed in the centre circle, before Captain Westwood made the presentation of the ball. As it then ascended out of the stadium it turned to all parts and even took a bow. To add to the rememberance, the home side had poppies stitched to their shirts.'
Purveyor of Egg Liqueur to Lucifer
Well done to whoever thought of the ball presentation at the Leicester Burnley football match.
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D-IFF is absolutely right, we should do more. I flew over my mum on holiday a couple of months ago, on a training sortie (training value still being achieved you see!!!) and she called me up 2 mins later, the ol' phone started a buzzing as I'm strapped to my huge jet unable to reach it - and that's my mum! If she doesn't fully appreciate what we do (ie. I can't reach the phone 'cos it's buried below many layers of protective flight gear etc) what hope do we have for the masses. Almost on a rant there, gotta stay focused, right on D-IFF!
(Phone onboard due to landaway etc...)
Er, my mate told me this story etc...
(Phone onboard due to landaway etc...)
Er, my mate told me this story etc...
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I believe an A109 from Northold did indeed do a flypast at the recent NFL Wembley game.
Not exactly the blue Angels, granted, but it's a start.
Not exactly the blue Angels, granted, but it's a start.
Re: Northolt A109 'flyby' at Wembley NFL game ...
Wellll, the A109 launched to check the weather for the flypast, and as asked to check the cloudbase, and also to look to see if the roof on the new Wembley Stadium was closed.
The A109 passed the cloudbase, and very shortly after was advised that the flypast was cancelled.
Wellll, the A109 launched to check the weather for the flypast, and as asked to check the cloudbase, and also to look to see if the roof on the new Wembley Stadium was closed.
The A109 passed the cloudbase, and very shortly after was advised that the flypast was cancelled.
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Does anybody know what happened to the crew of the Apaches that did the Flyover (read Hover In) the square in Ipswich a couple of weeks ago?
Last I heard the CAA was unhappy because some professional commercial pilot looked out of his window, saw they were below him, and made a formal complaint.
The people on the ground loved it
, although the Army lot on parade thought their berets were going to go walkies.
Last I heard the CAA was unhappy because some professional commercial pilot looked out of his window, saw they were below him, and made a formal complaint.
The people on the ground loved it
, although the Army lot on parade thought their berets were going to go walkies.