Why Nobody Likes RAF Police
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Originally Posted by WPH
Only light entertainment was the Wg Cdr finding all of his security cabinet checks pre-signed for the forthcoming night shift on returning to the office late at night unexpectedly! Priceless!
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But then they can create some urban legends not at our expense...
At SHAPE or such place, RAFP on gate...
Staff Car pulls up, RAFP inspects pass/id and waives staff car through..
Car moves a few feet then stops and window of backseat comes down. An irrate German senior officer demands:
"Don't you saulte German officers in the Royal Air Force?"
RAFP Quickly replies: "We don't have any German officers in the RAF!"
Got him a trip to the SBOs office I believe.. Care to comment Biggley.
At SHAPE or such place, RAFP on gate...
Staff Car pulls up, RAFP inspects pass/id and waives staff car through..
Car moves a few feet then stops and window of backseat comes down. An irrate German senior officer demands:
"Don't you saulte German officers in the Royal Air Force?"
RAFP Quickly replies: "We don't have any German officers in the RAF!"
Got him a trip to the SBOs office I believe.. Care to comment Biggley.
RAFP Newarks (anag)
I remember arriving back at Waddo via the TCA after 3 weeks in Pizzaland to find that our bags had been taken to a hangar for 'clearance' by our resident RAFP newarks...
There they were with their mobiles - having 'operational' conversations with each other in overloud voices sounding like Phone-In radio ("I certainly am.."), half of them in civvies, dogs pi**ing all over our bags, marshalling us behind white tapes, with no-one in obvious charge.. what an absolute shower. It was definitely a case of "let's get the Rodneys"..
And these weren't strangers - they were from our own home base..
I think it would be difficult to find a more law abiding bunch than yer average E-3D crew plus lineys.. so many overseas trips that no-one had cause to smuggle an extra bottle or 6 - and yet here were Her Majesty's Finest crawling all over us like a cheap suit.
Gits.
sv
There they were with their mobiles - having 'operational' conversations with each other in overloud voices sounding like Phone-In radio ("I certainly am.."), half of them in civvies, dogs pi**ing all over our bags, marshalling us behind white tapes, with no-one in obvious charge.. what an absolute shower. It was definitely a case of "let's get the Rodneys"..
And these weren't strangers - they were from our own home base..
I think it would be difficult to find a more law abiding bunch than yer average E-3D crew plus lineys.. so many overseas trips that no-one had cause to smuggle an extra bottle or 6 - and yet here were Her Majesty's Finest crawling all over us like a cheap suit.
Gits.
sv
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The Scuffers may be a bunch of 
at times but sometimes they can provide amazing entertainment, such as one night outside the Brize bop. As the night was drawing to a close a few Airmen were a bit tired and emotional and were having a rather physical altercation outside when the trusty Snowdrops appeared to apprehend said Airmen. A long and drawn out scuffle took place as a young (almost definately acting) Cpl attempted to put the guys in the back of the astra estate, eventually after some considerable effort on the scuffers part he succeeded in getting one in the back, shut the door and made for the second offender, meanwhile, unknown to him the guy in the back of the Astra had opened the door and ran off into the night!! By this time there was a large crowd gathered outside that his 'partner' (slightly nervous looking WAF) was hysterically shouting at to behave 'or else!!'
I was amazed to say the least, i thought that during their 'extensive' 8 week Scuffer course they would have been taught to lock the car doors!?? Maybe the need for bulling boots and barrier technician training was more of a priority!!?
at times but sometimes they can provide amazing entertainment, such as one night outside the Brize bop. As the night was drawing to a close a few Airmen were a bit tired and emotional and were having a rather physical altercation outside when the trusty Snowdrops appeared to apprehend said Airmen. A long and drawn out scuffle took place as a young (almost definately acting) Cpl attempted to put the guys in the back of the astra estate, eventually after some considerable effort on the scuffers part he succeeded in getting one in the back, shut the door and made for the second offender, meanwhile, unknown to him the guy in the back of the Astra had opened the door and ran off into the night!! By this time there was a large crowd gathered outside that his 'partner' (slightly nervous looking WAF) was hysterically shouting at to behave 'or else!!'I was amazed to say the least, i thought that during their 'extensive' 8 week Scuffer course they would have been taught to lock the car doors!?? Maybe the need for bulling boots and barrier technician training was more of a priority!!?
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
We had a problem as Leuchars once during an exercise. Plod waggon was despatched to pick up bunch of enemy aircrew.. All piled into the back behind a metal grill and off went the bravest of the brave, blue light flashing.
Unfortunately they had not collected all the guns. When suggested "take us to the Russian Embassy" they stopped the vehicle and fled - blue light still one, engine running.
We broke out and then got in the front. Slight problem. We could not find the blue magic lantern switch. Every barrier we approached went up and before we knew it we were in civi-land - armed to the teeth with a coupl eof extra SLRs as well as our own SLP.
Outside the camp we turned the wrong way thus giving them time to set up a road block and redeem themselves. Now pointing in the right direction was went back passed the main gate en route St Andrews. Only the fact that we had left families at home and a jet somewhere on the airfield made us go back.
happy days.
Unfortunately they had not collected all the guns. When suggested "take us to the Russian Embassy" they stopped the vehicle and fled - blue light still one, engine running.
We broke out and then got in the front. Slight problem. We could not find the blue magic lantern switch. Every barrier we approached went up and before we knew it we were in civi-land - armed to the teeth with a coupl eof extra SLRs as well as our own SLP.
Outside the camp we turned the wrong way thus giving them time to set up a road block and redeem themselves. Now pointing in the right direction was went back passed the main gate en route St Andrews. Only the fact that we had left families at home and a jet somewhere on the airfield made us go back.
happy days.
Not really RAFP, however within the past week, very junior Army officer, however also a member of a vvvvv important family was arriving at a secret Wiltshire airbase to fly off to Germany to represent the country at the footie. Driver misses turn off for back gate and ends up at main gate. Gate guard stops Range Rover and asks for ID, out comes the ID at which point the guard is heard to say in a loud voice 'oh fcuk' its you, Royal replies, afraid so. CPT person finds whole episode highly amusing as did 'Willie boy'
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Left my keys in the boot lock of the car. Next morning woke up with note through door . 'Come and collect your car keys from Pod Hq' . Bimble down and ask for keys - 'can you provide documents to prove car is yours?'
Despite knowing me and putting the note through the door have to get logbook! What a complete bunch of W*****S.
Despite knowing me and putting the note through the door have to get logbook! What a complete bunch of W*****S.
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Did a day trip only a couple of weeks ago where plod, proud as punch mind you, hands over the bag of those very dangerous leathermans and gerbers and boasts how he'd also confiscated two "self administer" combo pen like syringes. He said the passenger had mumbled something about anaphalctic shock but no one was getting past him with something sharp
I enquired of the chalk commander as to who said items belonged to and he explained one of his female Cpl's suffered from an extreme peanut allergy and the syringes were vital to her well being........said items returned immediately but unfortunately plod had smugly dissapeared and like a prat I omitted to submit a route stage to ensure this sort of stupidity never happens again
all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced
I enquired of the chalk commander as to who said items belonged to and he explained one of his female Cpl's suffered from an extreme peanut allergy and the syringes were vital to her well being........said items returned immediately but unfortunately plod had smugly dissapeared and like a prat I omitted to submit a route stage to ensure this sort of stupidity never happens again
all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced
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A B I W
Send it on a 765B via SMO.
They cannot interfere with Flight Safety or Medical matters.
If they try, or you suspect they might have tried, go straight to GFSO; copied to CFSO and IFS.
Then pop down here and have a beer? New airfield at Brive due to open next year. Perhaps all "Truckies" should check it out?
Send it on a 765B via SMO.
They cannot interfere with Flight Safety or Medical matters.
If they try, or you suspect they might have tried, go straight to GFSO; copied to CFSO and IFS.
Then pop down here and have a beer? New airfield at Brive due to open next year. Perhaps all "Truckies" should check it out?
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They are lovely, aren't they? One of th benefits of being in the RN is being co-opted to do something called "shore patrol". This is where us mere mortals are prevailed upon to go and provide muscle and brainpower when the Regulators can't cope - like counting past 5 without taking another shoe off. Anyway, one of the tricks was to put a guy in the back of the wagon, and if he kicked off, shout "chips", at which point the driver would hammer on the brakes, the perp would fly forward into the metal grille, and hence his face would become "chips".
Which is great when the perp is not aware of the trick....so, going home, the perp suddently braces himself and shouts "chips". Driver anchors on, regulator in the back flies forward shouting "no, not chi...." and is rendered unconscious in short order. The car behind could not hear the shout of "chips", and tries to join the perp in the back, who by now is pissing himself with laughter. The driver doesn't know whether to give first aid, take charge of the accident, or secure the perp in the back, so radios ahead saying that he "thought someone had tried to hijack the vehicle, he had one regulator "down", and had been rammed from behind...."
They tried to charge the perp with "intent to endanger life", but at the table he argued that he was only making a request for a fast food stop. And they believed me. Sorry, him. And some of the bastards never, ever, ever, forget a face!
Which is great when the perp is not aware of the trick....so, going home, the perp suddently braces himself and shouts "chips". Driver anchors on, regulator in the back flies forward shouting "no, not chi...." and is rendered unconscious in short order. The car behind could not hear the shout of "chips", and tries to join the perp in the back, who by now is pissing himself with laughter. The driver doesn't know whether to give first aid, take charge of the accident, or secure the perp in the back, so radios ahead saying that he "thought someone had tried to hijack the vehicle, he had one regulator "down", and had been rammed from behind...."
They tried to charge the perp with "intent to endanger life", but at the table he argued that he was only making a request for a fast food stop. And they believed me. Sorry, him. And some of the bastards never, ever, ever, forget a face!
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Can we make this a 'sticky' please, seems that everyone has a great story to tell about what a monumentous bunch of c s the RAFP are.
Not had anyone say a good word yet which speaks voulmes.................
s the RAFP are.Not had anyone say a good word yet which speaks voulmes.................
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Having just logged on to this web site I must admit to being saddened at the rubbish being written here. I thought that the military had moved on from the days when you got a high by slating off the different trades. Where did you make this story up from about the FS Cop wanting to confiscate beer? Your life must be so uninteresting that you feel the need to concoct an obvious untruth, perhaps (fantaman) was a typo and you meant to call yourself fantasyman!!!! This story was totally fabricated and no such incident occurred. Having also read the various replies the one quoting (RAFP as only of any use for organ donation in the time of war ) speaks volumes for the mentality of the people using this web site. When you know someone in the RAFP that has died in action thoughts are for family and friends and these comments are offensive to say the least.
If you feel that you need to use this site as a sounding off forum, then perhaps you should get a job that you are better able to cope with.
Hoping your mothers are proud of you.........
o
If you feel that you need to use this site as a sounding off forum, then perhaps you should get a job that you are better able to cope with.
Hoping your mothers are proud of you.........
o
Originally Posted by fantaman
I volunteered to help out at the Northolt Families Day and the Station Photocall. Three German Bo105's and a Huey arrived over from Germany.
When the aircraft landed the RAF Cops came up to the Huey to do the normal customs and passport check and noticed the lads in the chopper had brought over a large amount of beer for the party (as you do). Instead of turning a blind eye, the Flt Sgt piped up with this comment!
"Oh well, if they haven't paid duty on it we're going to have to confiscate it"
Fortunately we managed to make him see sense but this is exactly the sort of stuff that makes scuffers the most hated trade in the RAF
When the aircraft landed the RAF Cops came up to the Huey to do the normal customs and passport check and noticed the lads in the chopper had brought over a large amount of beer for the party (as you do). Instead of turning a blind eye, the Flt Sgt piped up with this comment!
"Oh well, if they haven't paid duty on it we're going to have to confiscate it"
Fortunately we managed to make him see sense but this is exactly the sort of stuff that makes scuffers the most hated trade in the RAF
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Some of you may remember the little "incident" involving the RAFP at Honington in 1980. It so happened, that the contractors sheds on the far side of the airfield were being broken into and things were going missing. After much investigating, and the fact that one of them "blubbed" it was found, that our upstanding lawkeepers were breaking into the contractors teabar and nicking the sweets! As with most things of this nature, this was only the tip of the iceberg and it was also found that they were breaking into the tin hangar where clothing stores kept the old bits of uniform and such like.
The clothing was ending up in an Army Surplus shop in Norwich. The whole police flight was ripped to bits and lots of them got done. I seem to remember they had a parade where a Provost "Big Un" personally ripped the rank tabs from the guilty ones. It was near anarchy for a couple of weeks until the replacements were brought in, and to the amusement of the rest of us someone had been going around with a bit of chalk writing "Have a Break-in, Have a Kit-Kat"
The clothing was ending up in an Army Surplus shop in Norwich. The whole police flight was ripped to bits and lots of them got done. I seem to remember they had a parade where a Provost "Big Un" personally ripped the rank tabs from the guilty ones. It was near anarchy for a couple of weeks until the replacements were brought in, and to the amusement of the rest of us someone had been going around with a bit of chalk writing "Have a Break-in, Have a Kit-Kat"
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Trivialising anyone's death in theatre is out of order, and those comments are not in the spirit of this thread/forum and should be apolgised for.
CARAPO,
Why do you feel the need to berate the whole thread though? Are you in the RAF? After all it is a thread specific to the RAFP and if you aint RAF or RAFP why would you feel the need to read/comment. If you are offended by what you read then that is too bad, but with all due respect, this is a public forum and although moderated, people will write what they want.
You suggest that you may be ex military by your comments about how we (the military) had moved on? So what are you saying there, that it was ok for you and your ilk to slag your brethren off but we cant do it anymore?
I don't see why you think stories have been fabricated for effect, I am sure we have all got better things to do than make stuff up, and if you are/were in the RAF then you would easily be able to believe some of things RAFP are capable of. We don't need to invent stories about the scuffer's, they really are capable of dropping themselves in it.
Finally, who gave you the right to moderate this forum, accusing people of "sounding off" and changing jobs?? If you dont like the forum mate, don't read it. Simple eh?
If you are RAFP, then perhaps you would like to start the counter-argument but you are probably all to busy with 'counter-intelligence'. What an appropriately named string to the RAFP's bow.
CARAPO,
Why do you feel the need to berate the whole thread though? Are you in the RAF? After all it is a thread specific to the RAFP and if you aint RAF or RAFP why would you feel the need to read/comment. If you are offended by what you read then that is too bad, but with all due respect, this is a public forum and although moderated, people will write what they want.
You suggest that you may be ex military by your comments about how we (the military) had moved on? So what are you saying there, that it was ok for you and your ilk to slag your brethren off but we cant do it anymore?
I don't see why you think stories have been fabricated for effect, I am sure we have all got better things to do than make stuff up, and if you are/were in the RAF then you would easily be able to believe some of things RAFP are capable of. We don't need to invent stories about the scuffer's, they really are capable of dropping themselves in it.
Finally, who gave you the right to moderate this forum, accusing people of "sounding off" and changing jobs?? If you dont like the forum mate, don't read it. Simple eh?
If you are RAFP, then perhaps you would like to start the counter-argument but you are probably all to busy with 'counter-intelligence'. What an appropriately named string to the RAFP's bow.
Guest
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quote:I thought that the military had moved on from the days when you got a high by slating off the different trades.
Well, it appears that you'd be mistaken!
quote: After all it is a thread specific to the RAFP and if you aint RAF or RAFP why would you feel the need to read/comment.
Because it's hilarious to read!
DS, re your following post, absolutely!
Well, it appears that you'd be mistaken!
quote: After all it is a thread specific to the RAFP and if you aint RAF or RAFP why would you feel the need to read/comment.
Because it's hilarious to read!
DS, re your following post, absolutely!
Last edited by brickhistory; 13th Jun 2006 at 22:17.
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Carapo isn't one person - it's an entire shift pattern of coppers. It's taken them all week to get a reply up, as they can only be responsible for 5 keys on the keyboard each (and it's the FS job to press the "return" key).
Yes, they are stupid. I was arrested in Gib for fighting Gibbo coppers, and eventually released the next morning into the Provost custody for return to the ship. That night, I was shore patrol. I climbed into the van, and sat there waiting was the driver and crew from the night before. The best they could manage was "you look familiar, have I served somewhere with you?". It took me about 6 hours to admit that I was in the back of their van that morning fresh from the concrete Hilton.
And I got away with the charge of D&D and fighting. I was arrested with someone else who was also scrapping, and we decided to prolong the plea until the ship sailed. Once it sailed, we went up in front of the CO and pleaded "Not Guilty". Knowing full well that he would then tell us he would have to return us, plus witnesses, at our cost, to Gib to face their court, we changed our plea to "Guilty" based on the premise that it would be better to be punished by the RN than to drop ourselves on the corrupt system that is Gib law (we had a member of the crew who was pushed though a shop window by a copper, witnessed by about 10 people. He was charged with breaking and entering, and intent to steal drugs (it was a chemist). He was found guilty and fined 000s.....) He panicked as we were making the plea under duress, and ran off to phone the legal bods.
We were eventually charged with using "foul and abusive language" and fined one day's pay. Result.
Yes, they are stupid. I was arrested in Gib for fighting Gibbo coppers, and eventually released the next morning into the Provost custody for return to the ship. That night, I was shore patrol. I climbed into the van, and sat there waiting was the driver and crew from the night before. The best they could manage was "you look familiar, have I served somewhere with you?". It took me about 6 hours to admit that I was in the back of their van that morning fresh from the concrete Hilton.
And I got away with the charge of D&D and fighting. I was arrested with someone else who was also scrapping, and we decided to prolong the plea until the ship sailed. Once it sailed, we went up in front of the CO and pleaded "Not Guilty". Knowing full well that he would then tell us he would have to return us, plus witnesses, at our cost, to Gib to face their court, we changed our plea to "Guilty" based on the premise that it would be better to be punished by the RN than to drop ourselves on the corrupt system that is Gib law (we had a member of the crew who was pushed though a shop window by a copper, witnessed by about 10 people. He was charged with breaking and entering, and intent to steal drugs (it was a chemist). He was found guilty and fined 000s.....) He panicked as we were making the plea under duress, and ran off to phone the legal bods.
We were eventually charged with using "foul and abusive language" and fined one day's pay. Result.