Most useless 'route steal'...
Thread Starter
Most useless 'route steal'...
OK - every Ascoteer has done it. Wandered into the local BX with only a hangover and wallet full of Aunty Betty's blats for company. But then, something which, at the time, had seemed really, really useful has attracted his/her eye. "Utter route steal - must have one of those", our hero has thought...
So what was the most usless or daftest BX route steal you've ever seen anyone buy?
The electric kitchen thing for the wife which only works on 110v?
The 'very cheap' car tyres which, without e-marks, are illegal in the UK?
The kids' bikes for which no spares are available in the UK?
The handheld spotlight which throws a beam for half a mile? (OK - guilty!)
Or the joke gifts - like the pink plastic Islamic prayer clocks in the shape of a mosque?
Any more??
So what was the most usless or daftest BX route steal you've ever seen anyone buy?
The electric kitchen thing for the wife which only works on 110v?
The 'very cheap' car tyres which, without e-marks, are illegal in the UK?
The kids' bikes for which no spares are available in the UK?
The handheld spotlight which throws a beam for half a mile? (OK - guilty!)
Or the joke gifts - like the pink plastic Islamic prayer clocks in the shape of a mosque?
Any more??
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BEagle - I note you are posting a lot tonight. Are you on a mission to reply to everything on the forum? Bored and on another long stopover??
Anyway, how about beef jerky - looks great on the shelves, tastes like trench foot once you get home.
Anyway, how about beef jerky - looks great on the shelves, tastes like trench foot once you get home.
Thread Starter
Nope - have been waiting for a phone call...and still b£oody am!
Agree about Beef Jerkoff - but have you ever made the mistake of trying the god-awful 'Wintergreen flavor Lifesavers' (Spam-speak for Polos)....
Agree about Beef Jerkoff - but have you ever made the mistake of trying the god-awful 'Wintergreen flavor Lifesavers' (Spam-speak for Polos)....
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BEagle is sad!!!!!
I agree that beagle is posting a lot tonight. But there is one simple answer as to why? He is as sad as they come. Joined the site in may 99, 9403 posts so far, 80 months in total= 117.53 posts per month.
I can only assume you are commissioned, middle-aged or young and really sad, sit in a little one person office with a computer connected to the web, in a corridor with lots of little one person offices and....nobody has a clue as to what you actually do. If you are married, you're wife never has one to one contact unless she checks her e-mail or perhaps the odd text at dinner time or special occasions e.g. computer monthly arrives through the letterbox. Finally, you are biding you're time waiting for the big payday and believe you have earned it and do a damn important job.(at least that's what you tell friends) If you are aircrew, then you are a Sqn Ldr or similar on PA spine earning minimum 55K or greater for nowt.
Back to the thread.
One lad bought a Gerber sharpner for $3 and didn't even have a Gerber knife.
He said it was a bargain and rude not to.
I can only assume you are commissioned, middle-aged or young and really sad, sit in a little one person office with a computer connected to the web, in a corridor with lots of little one person offices and....nobody has a clue as to what you actually do. If you are married, you're wife never has one to one contact unless she checks her e-mail or perhaps the odd text at dinner time or special occasions e.g. computer monthly arrives through the letterbox. Finally, you are biding you're time waiting for the big payday and believe you have earned it and do a damn important job.(at least that's what you tell friends) If you are aircrew, then you are a Sqn Ldr or similar on PA spine earning minimum 55K or greater for nowt.
Back to the thread.
One lad bought a Gerber sharpner for $3 and didn't even have a Gerber knife.
He said it was a bargain and rude not to.
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Grammar nazism. Now there's a topic for lively debate!
Mistakenly bought some (knock-off)T-shirts only for them to fall apart as soon as they were put in the wash.
Mistakenly bought some (knock-off)T-shirts only for them to fall apart as soon as they were put in the wash.
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Number Cruncher, more like Crunched
I believe BEagle is all the opposite to the ideas you put forward. But alas he is now in pastures retired. Probably counting the amount per post that his pension brings in, cos I bet he earns more than me just sitting at his computer. I Will never forgive him for failing a thrust reverser and making me crash...in the SIM I might add. Back to the thread, I once bought a kebab that looked really cheap at the time, only to find out that it gave me the s##ts in the morning. To make matters worse Cocanelli smells the same even after being in your stomach for 15 hours....
I'matightbastard
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crunchie-number I think you're mistaken about codename BEagle. Look carefully at how it is spelled and you will soon begin to realise it isn't just one person, but a crack team of mission ready professionals who are regularly parachuted in to threads where the natives are getting restless.
Membership in this semi secret organisation is a goal of many people, but it's a goal rarely attained.
Membership in this semi secret organisation is a goal of many people, but it's a goal rarely attained.
Thread Starter
You manage to keep Kokinelli in your stomach for 13 hours?
Respect!
(Was the thrust reverse sim event when you didn't check the orange lights, so when you asked for full reverse you got full reverse on no. 1 and full forward on no. 4? Followed by an excursion into the bondhu, whereupon the sim went wibble?
Bet you've always checked the lights ever since though!
I made it crash by using the slew jobber in the back. Effective, wasn't it?!
)
Respect!
(Was the thrust reverse sim event when you didn't check the orange lights, so when you asked for full reverse you got full reverse on no. 1 and full forward on no. 4? Followed by an excursion into the bondhu, whereupon the sim went wibble?
Bet you've always checked the lights ever since though!
I made it crash by using the slew jobber in the back. Effective, wasn't it?!
)
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I wanna Join
I bet there is a long and hard selection. Possibly involving eating as many ACC's and LHR's as possible. Add to that mind altering ground CATs
and the ability to ghost on to States trips,
then, only then may you join. As the BEagle once said...Hmmm learn you must, teach you I will...
and yes BEagle it was, and yes I never fail to check them now. Glad the Captain, once a NAV, was operating....hehe
Add to that mind altering ground CATs and the ability to ghost on to States trips, then, only then may you join. As the BEagle once said...Hmmm learn you must, teach you I will...and yes BEagle it was, and yes I never fail to check them now. Glad the Captain, once a NAV, was operating....hehe
Thread Starter
Not a BX, but an RAFG NAAFI shop. Holding officer (ah..bless) dashed in, grabbed a couple of slabs of German-sounding tinnies for which he paid a surprisingly small price, then hopped back into the wheels before clambering into the back of one of HM's Vickers FunBuses on his way home.
Gets back to Brize, wonders why the groundcrew are pi$$ing themselves with laughter.
"Which knob bought the 2 cases of Clausthaler?"
(For those who don't know, it's 0.0% alcohol by volume!)
Gets back to Brize, wonders why the groundcrew are pi$$ing themselves with laughter.
"Which knob bought the 2 cases of Clausthaler?"
(For those who don't know, it's 0.0% alcohol by volume!)
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The prize must go to the Herc crew who went for the ultimate route 'steal' - literally stealing a base pedal-buggy type thing from Dover and putting it on the back of the plane.
The USAF were not at all pleased and a week or so later another C130 'conveniently' needed a flag stop DOV to return stolen goods.
The USAF were not at all pleased and a week or so later another C130 'conveniently' needed a flag stop DOV to return stolen goods.
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Best one I saw, and it was a Kipper Mate Nav....
Weekend up to Kef from ISK in a Mk2, prior to departure Tac Nav approached me, the Chiefy,
Chief I,m buying this all singing dancing Hi Fi kit from the BX in Kef we need some storage space on the jet OK (meaning don,t let the lads take up the back end with beer)
Sure enough, great weekend had by all (is it the Volcano Club at Kef memory dulls over time) and come Monday morning said Nav pitches up with 10 large crates, biggest of which was about the size of the Nimrod bog.
Loaded the toy....Its truly amazing what you can fit in a Bog, down the isles, front door and galley.
We get back to ISK, duty Customs Man meets us (days before the RAFP) clears the groundies toute sweet as ever.
It took the Nav an hour and about £300 in duty to get his toy off, moral of the tail, talk to the customs chappy BEFORE you leave home base to see if you can do a deal.
Officers (and it was bloke too) DOH
Weekend up to Kef from ISK in a Mk2, prior to departure Tac Nav approached me, the Chiefy,
Chief I,m buying this all singing dancing Hi Fi kit from the BX in Kef we need some storage space on the jet OK (meaning don,t let the lads take up the back end with beer)
Sure enough, great weekend had by all (is it the Volcano Club at Kef memory dulls over time) and come Monday morning said Nav pitches up with 10 large crates, biggest of which was about the size of the Nimrod bog.
Loaded the toy....Its truly amazing what you can fit in a Bog, down the isles, front door and galley.
We get back to ISK, duty Customs Man meets us (days before the RAFP) clears the groundies toute sweet as ever.
It took the Nav an hour and about £300 in duty to get his toy off, moral of the tail, talk to the customs chappy BEFORE you leave home base to see if you can do a deal.
Officers (and it was bloke too) DOH
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A real route steal was accomplished by a P3 crew on leaving ISK in late 70's/early 80's - they took all 3 Sqn Standards back to Kef with them! Mind you the crew didn't stay in Kef long, they were met by the Base Commander and invited to return them immediately. 