RAF Police
Join Date: Apr 2005
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Re: RAF Police....................tablet eraser
Brilliant !.............Enjoyed the humour@Boulmer
Like most walks of life we always end up with people amongst us who are knobs !
Most are fine, hearts in the right places, sense of purpose and all that...........................but then there are the knoobs who attract all the viewing and get all the bad press.
They at least give us all a laugh at work................lets be right we all love to slag a knoob !
Merry
Like most walks of life we always end up with people amongst us who are knobs !
Most are fine, hearts in the right places, sense of purpose and all that...........................but then there are the knoobs who attract all the viewing and get all the bad press.
They at least give us all a laugh at work................lets be right we all love to slag a knoob !
Merry
Join Date: Sep 2003
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Re: RAF Police
What joy - the snow drops!!
Very good friend in sib at secret airbase in wilts who got me out of many a scrape when a young tom - however, he did nail me for 75 quid for smashing up the NAAFI in the late 80's!! Not a bad egg really.
Also late 80's/early 90's, can anyone corroborate the story of one young acting cpl who found that the only way to pass the long hours on patrol with his faithful companion scooby doo, was to infact b*m the said dog. And get caught. Lucky him.
LFOGOOTFW
ISITD
Yardy Yardy, look at that pesky rhino!!
Very good friend in sib at secret airbase in wilts who got me out of many a scrape when a young tom - however, he did nail me for 75 quid for smashing up the NAAFI in the late 80's!! Not a bad egg really.
Also late 80's/early 90's, can anyone corroborate the story of one young acting cpl who found that the only way to pass the long hours on patrol with his faithful companion scooby doo, was to infact b*m the said dog. And get caught. Lucky him.
LFOGOOTFW
ISITD
Yardy Yardy, look at that pesky rhino!!
Join Date: May 2005
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Re: RAF Police
Was once getting interviewed by SIB about a dead bloke I found in the crewroom...
Scuffer: Did you notice the body's flies were undone?
Me: Yes
Scuffer: How soon did you notice?
Me: Quite soon. I thought it was quite unusual.
Scuffer: Was his penis out?
Me: Er... No. What do you think I did? Put it away to save his dignity?
Scuffer: Just answer the question Sgt Stude...
Well done Sgt Poirot. Always looking for a new angle.
T
ers
Same incident though when the MO came in and declared body dead and moved everything out of the way to neaten it up before the SOCO got there. Not a happy SOCO.
Scuffer: Did you notice the body's flies were undone?
Me: Yes
Scuffer: How soon did you notice?
Me: Quite soon. I thought it was quite unusual.
Scuffer: Was his penis out?
Me: Er... No. What do you think I did? Put it away to save his dignity?
Scuffer: Just answer the question Sgt Stude...
Well done Sgt Poirot. Always looking for a new angle.
T
ersSame incident though when the MO came in and declared body dead and moved everything out of the way to neaten it up before the SOCO got there. Not a happy SOCO.
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Re: RAF Police
A few of us returning back slightly merry from over the boarder in Gib late
80's and was stopped by scuffer and Scooby-Doo
Drunken mate "What's that on the end of the chain?"
Scuffer "It's a police dog"
Drunken mate "Who's talking to you?"
I think he saw the funny side, well he didn't run us in!
RR
80's and was stopped by scuffer and Scooby-Doo
Drunken mate "What's that on the end of the chain?"
Scuffer "It's a police dog"
Drunken mate "Who's talking to you?"
I think he saw the funny side, well he didn't run us in!
RR
Join Date: May 2000
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Re: RAF Police
I still chuckle at the urban myth about a Snowdrop mobile patrol in mid-80s Germany who took great delight in taking their Landrover and smashing through a snowman built outside a HAS or some such remote place of work to fend off hours of boredom on QRA.
This continued for several snowmen until the next snowman was built up and around a bollard, totally obscuring and hiding the hefty reinforced concrete post in the process.
You can probably work out the rest......
This continued for several snowmen until the next snowman was built up and around a bollard, totally obscuring and hiding the hefty reinforced concrete post in the process.
You can probably work out the rest......
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Re: RAF Police
TR.
Not sure about the urban myth in Germany, but I do know it as fact at RAF Marham! Must have been late seventies, in front of the 55 Squadron, ground crew Blister.
Not sure about the urban myth in Germany, but I do know it as fact at RAF Marham! Must have been late seventies, in front of the 55 Squadron, ground crew Blister.
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
Re: RAF Police
Mind you, the number of charges I was able to dismiss against my troops because the plods screwed up by messing up the paperwork, submitting hearsay as evidence, not turning up. Always told them to never admit anything and theyīd stand a good chance of getting off.
I remember a mate, F/O Don A.... at Buchan during the Buffs Lodge hooker scandal. Heīd, ahem, been romantically involved with a couple of the the lasses but nobody was talking and they couldnīt touch him. SIB sent up a young F/O plod to stay in the mess and get friendly with him over a few drinks. Persuaded him to make a statement just, "to tidy up the paperwork". They made him resign his commission a few weeks later.
Strangely enough, IIRC, he went on to become an inspector in the Special Branch.....
I remember a mate, F/O Don A.... at Buchan during the Buffs Lodge hooker scandal. Heīd, ahem, been romantically involved with a couple of the the lasses but nobody was talking and they couldnīt touch him. SIB sent up a young F/O plod to stay in the mess and get friendly with him over a few drinks. Persuaded him to make a statement just, "to tidy up the paperwork". They made him resign his commission a few weeks later.
Strangely enough, IIRC, he went on to become an inspector in the Special Branch.....
Avoid imitations
Join Date: Nov 2000
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Re: RAF Police
Mm. I was interviewed some years ago, in connection with an alleged illegal RAF low flying incident (contravening a NOTAM'd avoid), following a personal complaint by a government minister and have seen how they "prefer" to write statements. THEY prefer to write them for the defendant, in their own particular style.... especially when they can find no other evidence to support the complaint.
A certain RAFP Flight Lieutenant, brandishing his pen, became very crestfallen when I said:
"No thanks, give me the blank statement forms and I'll certainly write you a statement, but IN MY OWN WORDS once I've spoken to my laywer".
I also told him I thought they were trying to "stitch us up" with some sort of a confession because of who had made the complaint and how it was made.
As myself and the other three pilots involved were actually innocent, they could find no other evidence to support the complaint (despite going to some considerable lengths to find some) and the case was quietly dropped after putting all of us through considerable stress for some months.
A certain RAFP Flight Lieutenant, brandishing his pen, became very crestfallen when I said:
"No thanks, give me the blank statement forms and I'll certainly write you a statement, but IN MY OWN WORDS once I've spoken to my laywer".
I also told him I thought they were trying to "stitch us up" with some sort of a confession because of who had made the complaint and how it was made.
As myself and the other three pilots involved were actually innocent, they could find no other evidence to support the complaint (despite going to some considerable lengths to find some) and the case was quietly dropped after putting all of us through considerable stress for some months.
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Re: RAF Police
Originally Posted by ORAC
Mind you, the number of charges I was able to dismiss against my troops because the plods screwed up by messing up the paperwork, submitting hearsay as evidence, not turning up. Always told them to never admit anything and theyīd stand a good chance of getting off.
I remember a mate, F/O Don A.... at Buchan during the Buffs Lodge hooker scandal. Heīd, ahem, been romantically involved with a couple of the the lasses but nobody was talking and they couldnīt touch him. SIB sent up a young F/O plod to stay in the mess and get friendly with him over a few drinks. Persuaded him to make a statement just, "to tidy up the paperwork". They made him resign his commission a few weeks later.
Strangely enough, IIRC, he went on to become an inspector in the Special Branch.....
I remember a mate, F/O Don A.... at Buchan during the Buffs Lodge hooker scandal. Heīd, ahem, been romantically involved with a couple of the the lasses but nobody was talking and they couldnīt touch him. SIB sent up a young F/O plod to stay in the mess and get friendly with him over a few drinks. Persuaded him to make a statement just, "to tidy up the paperwork". They made him resign his commission a few weeks later.
Strangely enough, IIRC, he went on to become an inspector in the Special Branch.....
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
Re: RAF Police
Letīs just say there was a certain OC WRAF providing her girls with more accounting and management support than parochial. Not sure about disciplinary....
Join Date: Sep 2005
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Re: RAF Police
Just before year end I had cause to visit 9 AEF at Church Fenton. One of the RAFP on the front gate was wearing his dagger.
Now, first of all, I've never attempted AACC and am now too old, too fat etc. so 'respec', ya nah'. But...
Do all the BARV drivers have to make sure their tax discs are in date ?
Will 539 Assault Sqn have to watch out for double yellow lines when parking ?
Might the Beachmaster be subject to random breath tests ?
Where are the barriers ??
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Re: RAF Police
The plods where I work are on top of their game - immediately prior to Christmas, one of them sent an email to the whole station stating that "No-one is to/are to be caught perambulating on his/her bicycle unless it has reflectors on the pedals, wheels, the front bit and the back bit and lights on the front and back. Oh, by the way, the lights aren't allowed to flash." They then referred us to a random paragraph from the Road Traffic Act. (Section 27 - The Minimum Standard of Bicycle Equipment to be in use During Hours of Darkness on an RAF Base. Or summat.)
This was followed about a week later by a half-arsed apology and then explained that since the law changed in October 2005, flashing lights were now permitted, however "they must flash between 60 and 240 times per minute and emit a light of no less than 4 candelas." Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt.
Now I don't need to insult anyone's intelligence by explaining that a candela is the base unit of luminous intensity in the International System of Units that is equal to the luminous intensity in a given direction of a source which emits monochromatic radiation of frequency 540 × 10*12 hertz and has a radiant intensity in that direction of 1/683 watt per unit solid angle, but how are the RAF Plod planning on ensuring that a bicycle light meets the required standard? I wonder if they have invested in a bicycle lamp intensity/flash frequency testing machine?
This was followed about a week later by a half-arsed apology and then explained that since the law changed in October 2005, flashing lights were now permitted, however "they must flash between 60 and 240 times per minute and emit a light of no less than 4 candelas." Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt.
Now I don't need to insult anyone's intelligence by explaining that a candela is the base unit of luminous intensity in the International System of Units that is equal to the luminous intensity in a given direction of a source which emits monochromatic radiation of frequency 540 × 10*12 hertz and has a radiant intensity in that direction of 1/683 watt per unit solid angle, but how are the RAF Plod planning on ensuring that a bicycle light meets the required standard? I wonder if they have invested in a bicycle lamp intensity/flash frequency testing machine?
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Re: RAF Police
"they must flash between 60 and 240 times per minute and emit a light of no less than 4 candelas."
Join Date: Nov 2001
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Re: RAF Police
Iin Canada we also have our version of the RAFP. We call them Meatheads!! I'm not sure if it is due to the red hats they wear or to being extremely thick. Mind you they are very good at eating doughnuts and spilling coffee down their fronts
Last edited by saudipc-9; 11th Jan 2006 at 19:37.