Darwin award?
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Ah Pontius,
Back in 197? I was co-pilot on a C130 sortie from Masirah. We had been tasked to search the Indian Ocean (!) for a missing supertanker. The radar search produced the odd result whereupon it "was decided" to carry out a visual search. The plan was to fly at around 1000' with the para doors open. Naturally the loadie wore a despatcher's harness [thank heavens]. The air temp was about 37°C to 40°C that balmy evening and with several hours of fuel we could search for ages. On the five man crew only the loadie was "down the back". After a few hours a loud rushing noise was heard on the intercom. "Microphone Loadie!" was murmered by skip. Soon the rest of the flight deck four started to echo the remark. After many grunts, metallic clangs and good old Wiltshire expletives a breathless loadie was heard on the intercom "Sorry boss, I fell asleep, fell out, and woke up being thrashed against the back of the aircraft." Some truckies will remember who you were! This was after about eight hours. We packed up and returned to the RAF's jewel, Masirah. The Tanker was never found....because it was never missing!
I expect that our homeward route was being eagerly tracked by the friendly local sharks expecting a food parcel by air mail.
Happy new year pruners everywhere.
Back in 197? I was co-pilot on a C130 sortie from Masirah. We had been tasked to search the Indian Ocean (!) for a missing supertanker. The radar search produced the odd result whereupon it "was decided" to carry out a visual search. The plan was to fly at around 1000' with the para doors open. Naturally the loadie wore a despatcher's harness [thank heavens]. The air temp was about 37°C to 40°C that balmy evening and with several hours of fuel we could search for ages. On the five man crew only the loadie was "down the back". After a few hours a loud rushing noise was heard on the intercom. "Microphone Loadie!" was murmered by skip. Soon the rest of the flight deck four started to echo the remark. After many grunts, metallic clangs and good old Wiltshire expletives a breathless loadie was heard on the intercom "Sorry boss, I fell asleep, fell out, and woke up being thrashed against the back of the aircraft." Some truckies will remember who you were! This was after about eight hours. We packed up and returned to the RAF's jewel, Masirah. The Tanker was never found....because it was never missing!
I expect that our homeward route was being eagerly tracked by the friendly local sharks expecting a food parcel by air mail.
Happy new year pruners everywhere.
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Had a flying spanner on a DC3 we were operating who used to fire up the camp stove and make us a brew before buckling down and producing the breakfast we'd missed due our 4am start. His rationale was that there was a good chance we'd be getting shot at anyhow at destination so why sweat the petty things....
Explained to him many times that I was too young and beautiful to spear in but he wasn't overly perturbed by my yelling. Strange bloke....
Explained to him many times that I was too young and beautiful to spear in but he wasn't overly perturbed by my yelling. Strange bloke....
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Darwin Award (Aviation Division) Honourable Mention
The individual has to 'remove himself from the gene pool' to get a Darwin Award.
Survivors are limited to 'Honourable Mention'
Citation as follows:-
A Corporal Electrician had to replace a wing tip light on a C130 Hercules, on a cold and frosty night. There was a serviceable 'cherry picker' in the hangar, and other access equipment.
It could have been -
Pressure of work
Low morale
Peer pressure
Man Utd v Liverpool on telly
Laziness
Stupidity
The previous OC Eng Wing OBE
All of the above
- that affected his judgement that evening. So our hero decides to nip up through the forward escape hatch and have it done in 10 minutes, no problem. With one of his juniors! Who wasn't very happy but went along with it.
As he felt himself slipping down the wing, his oppo grabbed hold of him, but they continued to slide down the wing together.
'SAVE YOURSELF - LET ME GO' cried the Electrician
He fell 20 feet to the sound of breaking bones.
On the way down the wing, the last thing available to grab on to was the wing tip light...which came on as he grabbed for it in vain!!!
Fault fixed, aircraft made slot time.
Would someone care to relate the one about the groundcrew chap who noticed a 40 ton aircraft rolling forward and instinctively put his foot in front of the mainwheel to stop it.
Or the VASF bloke who, when removing chocks from a light aircraft, backed into the propeller and had a slice of his arse chopped off
Survivors are limited to 'Honourable Mention'
Citation as follows:-
A Corporal Electrician had to replace a wing tip light on a C130 Hercules, on a cold and frosty night. There was a serviceable 'cherry picker' in the hangar, and other access equipment.
It could have been -
Pressure of work
Low morale
Peer pressure
Man Utd v Liverpool on telly
Laziness
Stupidity
The previous OC Eng Wing OBE
All of the above
- that affected his judgement that evening. So our hero decides to nip up through the forward escape hatch and have it done in 10 minutes, no problem. With one of his juniors! Who wasn't very happy but went along with it.
As he felt himself slipping down the wing, his oppo grabbed hold of him, but they continued to slide down the wing together.
'SAVE YOURSELF - LET ME GO' cried the Electrician
He fell 20 feet to the sound of breaking bones.
On the way down the wing, the last thing available to grab on to was the wing tip light...which came on as he grabbed for it in vain!!!
Fault fixed, aircraft made slot time.
Would someone care to relate the one about the groundcrew chap who noticed a 40 ton aircraft rolling forward and instinctively put his foot in front of the mainwheel to stop it.
Or the VASF bloke who, when removing chocks from a light aircraft, backed into the propeller and had a slice of his arse chopped off
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
There was a good I learnt About Flying where a Whirlwind pilot was offered a ht cup of tea by the Gurkha pax who had just come out of the jungle. He accepted gratefully until he remembered there was no water heater down the back of the cab. Yup, they had lit a fire.
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The VASF flying buttock occurred in the winter of '79/'80 at Lyneham. In front of the Station Commander as I recall, some say it actually hit him. I'm not sure if the poor chap survived, the groundcrew chap, that is.
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i seem to recall a rather unfortunate incident involving the army and a puma back in the 80's.
the army were having a big fight at the battle area up the road, troops were getting ferried in on choppers, chap in charge of the troops had fallen asleep. he woke up as the chopper slowed down, and flared to the hover, shouted "after me men", and jumped out....not realising the chopper was still quite high up! he didn't survive the fall.
the aircraft involved was at honington for a few days under quarrantine, whilst they investigated.
we have a chap in work who used his foot to try and stop a rolling tristar once, i dont think the aircraft noticed, and he was off work for quite a while with a lot of broken bits in his foot!
the army were having a big fight at the battle area up the road, troops were getting ferried in on choppers, chap in charge of the troops had fallen asleep. he woke up as the chopper slowed down, and flared to the hover, shouted "after me men", and jumped out....not realising the chopper was still quite high up! he didn't survive the fall.
the aircraft involved was at honington for a few days under quarrantine, whilst they investigated.
we have a chap in work who used his foot to try and stop a rolling tristar once, i dont think the aircraft noticed, and he was off work for quite a while with a lot of broken bits in his foot!
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The VASF guy was seeing in a Belgian Merlin. On finals there was a mixed up message and it was thought that there was a VIP on board - rush for white coveralls, Staish into No 1s etc. The guy put the chock in then backed out into the prop. If I remember correctly he lost a bum cheek but it missed the hip and the muscle. - No VIP on board.
About that era a UAS Bulldog stude had a lucky escape. Stude running change. First stude got out onto the wing, stumbled and fell forward. Prop caught his helmet and knocked him down and clear. That split second as he realised he was falling into the prop disc must have been hell.
About that era a UAS Bulldog stude had a lucky escape. Stude running change. First stude got out onto the wing, stumbled and fell forward. Prop caught his helmet and knocked him down and clear. That split second as he realised he was falling into the prop disc must have been hell.
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A bit off the topic but funny all the same. Ground crew bloke doing an engine run. C130 jumped it's chock. So said ground crew bloke pops her in reverse and jumps her back over the chock 
Perhaps it's just me but...
Guy cleaning the windscreen of a yellow Wessex (to get rid of the sea salt and muck) during a rotors-turning refuel gets a bit carried away and stretches across to reach the middle. To do this he has to raise himself up a bit in order to reach. Suddenly realises that his head is now incredibly close the blades and ducks. He, and the pilot both had similar shocked, white faces and expressions. I stopped that particular practice on my shift immediately, (mainly because blood is far more corrosive than salt).
Whilst I was on Tornados there was the guy who, during a crew-in snag, reset the 'popper' on a hydraulic reservoir (located under the airbrakes and accessed through a small finger hole) without ensuring that the airbrakes were positively selected out. As soon as the 'popper' was in the airbrake closed onto his head, shoulder and upper arm. Fortunately the pilot, alerted by the see-off crew on the headset, selected open before they had closed completely. He carries several scars to this day.
Whilst I was on Jaguars there was an electrician who connected the plug to an undercarriage door jack when hydraulics and power were on. The door immediately, and rapidly, closed on his head and arm. He was not quite so lucky as the Tornado guy and suffered severe facial injuries.
On the mighty Phantom, I watched as a guy lined up the stabilator pivot bolt hole with his finger...you can guess the rest.
Also on the Phantom it was regular occurrence, and great sport, to watch guys releasing stuck arrestor hooks with a marshalling bat, only to miss and spin themselves into the jet efflux. We used to bet on the distance that they would cover.
I also have a terrifying tale that involved myself, as a rigger, and an armourer working late one night and taking too many short cuts on an ejection seat removal...but I still can't bring myself to recount it, even after twenty plus years. That was on a bloody Phantom too!
I could go on but you might get the wrong idea about engineers!
Guy cleaning the windscreen of a yellow Wessex (to get rid of the sea salt and muck) during a rotors-turning refuel gets a bit carried away and stretches across to reach the middle. To do this he has to raise himself up a bit in order to reach. Suddenly realises that his head is now incredibly close the blades and ducks. He, and the pilot both had similar shocked, white faces and expressions. I stopped that particular practice on my shift immediately, (mainly because blood is far more corrosive than salt).
Whilst I was on Tornados there was the guy who, during a crew-in snag, reset the 'popper' on a hydraulic reservoir (located under the airbrakes and accessed through a small finger hole) without ensuring that the airbrakes were positively selected out. As soon as the 'popper' was in the airbrake closed onto his head, shoulder and upper arm. Fortunately the pilot, alerted by the see-off crew on the headset, selected open before they had closed completely. He carries several scars to this day.
Whilst I was on Jaguars there was an electrician who connected the plug to an undercarriage door jack when hydraulics and power were on. The door immediately, and rapidly, closed on his head and arm. He was not quite so lucky as the Tornado guy and suffered severe facial injuries.
On the mighty Phantom, I watched as a guy lined up the stabilator pivot bolt hole with his finger...you can guess the rest.
Also on the Phantom it was regular occurrence, and great sport, to watch guys releasing stuck arrestor hooks with a marshalling bat, only to miss and spin themselves into the jet efflux. We used to bet on the distance that they would cover.
I also have a terrifying tale that involved myself, as a rigger, and an armourer working late one night and taking too many short cuts on an ejection seat removal...but I still can't bring myself to recount it, even after twenty plus years. That was on a bloody Phantom too!
I could go on but you might get the wrong idea about engineers!
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Blodwyn Pig
I recall the story well. It was a TA major IIRC whose enthusiasm resulted in his premature demise. He would have been followed by his SNCO as well if the loadie had not grabbed him before he went through the door.
Aviating is a dangerous occupation!
I recall the story well. It was a TA major IIRC whose enthusiasm resulted in his premature demise. He would have been followed by his SNCO as well if the loadie had not grabbed him before he went through the door.
Aviating is a dangerous occupation!
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Didn't a DC-10 or Tristar crash in the 70's killing all 300 or so passengers on the way to/from the Haj when someone lit up a stove or 2 in the back ?
There was another tale of an airborne burglary when a thief leapt from a 727 - with a proper parachute - over an American desert and has never been found. I think it was more than just a burglary but can't remember the detail, and I think he got away with about $100,000.
Re moving mechanical bits, the Hunter F-models had a peculiar cockpit opening mechanism whereby a clutch lever was first engaged by the pilot and then the open/close switch was operated as appropriate. Before leaving the aircraft the pilot had to disengage the clutch to prevent inadvertent snagging. A story/myth doing the rounds at Chiv decades ago was that a pilot only half-disengaged the clutch and then snagged the switch as he was leaving, causing the canopy to slide repeatedly into his bonce, crushing his bone dome at least.
There was another tale of an airborne burglary when a thief leapt from a 727 - with a proper parachute - over an American desert and has never been found. I think it was more than just a burglary but can't remember the detail, and I think he got away with about $100,000.
Re moving mechanical bits, the Hunter F-models had a peculiar cockpit opening mechanism whereby a clutch lever was first engaged by the pilot and then the open/close switch was operated as appropriate. Before leaving the aircraft the pilot had to disengage the clutch to prevent inadvertent snagging. A story/myth doing the rounds at Chiv decades ago was that a pilot only half-disengaged the clutch and then snagged the switch as he was leaving, causing the canopy to slide repeatedly into his bonce, crushing his bone dome at least.
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Sort of, off topic I suppose, but my Grandfather, once a W/O with UKMAMS at a famous Wiltshire base with Comets and Brits told me a story how a WRAF somehow managed to walk through a spinning Britannia propeller, only to die of a heart attack/shock when she was told what had happened...Quite sad after what must be a miraculous escape...
Anyone shed any light on that?
Anyone shed any light on that?
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There was another tale of an airborne burglary when a thief leapt from a 727 - with a proper parachute - over an American desert and has never been found. I think it was more than just a burglary but can't remember the detail, and I think he got away with about $100,000.
The case went cold for several decades, then he resurfaced and like a **** got caught
I think there's a filum about him too.
Right I'm off to wikipedia now to see how accurate I was.
somehow managed to walk through a spinning Britannia propeller,
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I would have thought the arithmetic involved would have precluded this.
Yes, Him
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A JT liney was killed by walking into a Brit prop at Akrotiri, night, rainy, he wore specs and it was running down. Best guess was rain on specs blurred his vision, this was sometime between 1970-72.
Also two movers killed in fork lift over-turning accidents.
Also two movers killed in fork lift over-turning accidents.
Last edited by Gainesy; 25th Jan 2006 at 14:58.
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An armourer Corporal who inserted the pylon cartridges whilst trigger checks were being carried out think this was circa 1980 on XV Sqn(Buccaneers at Laarbruch)He lost 2 fingers and was subsequently posted to Cosford as an instructor.Cant remember His name,anyone?
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At Wildenrath in a Canberra, after starting the port engine, the starter case stared to rotate. A groundie took hold of it - right at the intake of a running engine - to screw it tight... I rapidly shut the HP cock and said groundie got an ginormous earful from me, and a bigger one from the chief.
Pillock.
Pillock.
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FJJP. I've done it. But it was an operational neccesity, and I didn't waltz up to the engine like your liney
In this case one of the breech caps was u/s, the little electrical contact tang had broken off. So the only way to get the stbd engine started was to swap caps with the port engine up & running. Maybe the difference is that I told the pilot I was happy to do it, was he happy? He was. (it was away from main base)
In this case one of the breech caps was u/s, the little electrical contact tang had broken off. So the only way to get the stbd engine started was to swap caps with the port engine up & running. Maybe the difference is that I told the pilot I was happy to do it, was he happy? He was. (it was away from main base)
I'matightbastard
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Used to be a drop zone nithe Dallas area with a Porter that they used to do hot refuels on. This involved running with the fuel hose between the prop and the fuse, sort of under the engine a bit then climbing a ladder on the other side as the tankes were in the (high) wings.
I never did it and I never stood anywhere near the aircraft when the bloke did it either.
Actually that's not really true, I'd stay upwind and close enough to have a good view. I mean I wouldn't want to miss that show now would I?
I never did it and I never stood anywhere near the aircraft when the bloke did it either.
Actually that's not really true, I'd stay upwind and close enough to have a good view. I mean I wouldn't want to miss that show now would I?
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Onan,
"The case went cold for several decades, then he resurfaced and like a **** got caught
I think there's a filum about him too.
Right I'm off to wikipedia now to see how accurate I was."
ERrrr.. You Were Not
But nice to think from that day 727 rear airstairs have always been cooper airstairs!!.. I have to explain this when peolpe board a 1-11 the same way!.
TTFN
"The case went cold for several decades, then he resurfaced and like a **** got caught
I think there's a filum about him too.
Right I'm off to wikipedia now to see how accurate I was."
ERrrr.. You Were Not
But nice to think from that day 727 rear airstairs have always been cooper airstairs!!.. I have to explain this when peolpe board a 1-11 the same way!.
TTFN